SOOOO Stressful!!!
Well I'm down exactly 1.0 pounds from last week which is a MIRACLE let me tell you, with how I ate this weekend. I've been super-stressed and had so much to do. My fiance's kids were over this weekend which is usually stressful to us. The youngest immediately wants/demands/screams to go home the moment something doesnt go his way.. which happened at 10pm Friday night. Then for the next two days he was mostly fine with a few tantrums.. but the behavior REALLY frustrates me. As soon he doesnt get what he wants, he throws a fit. He's 9 now.. he's getting too old for tantrums, but it looks as though he is babied and coddled at home. Others have told us he acts like this at his mom's and doesnt get punished.
On the other hand, we had an issue with the oldest, we'll call him T , this weekend that is breaking my heart to pieces because I feel helpless. He hasn't been getting along with his mom and she wanted his dad to talk to him about it. So in the process of doing so, he found out some of why T is so upset. He bought these Dungeons and Dragons books.. its a set that costs at least $80. He bought these with his own money and she is making him share them with his brother and his brother's friend. This bothers him a lot because he is always told not to play with his brothers things because they are not "sharing toys", yet these books that he bought himself, she has declared sharing toys. He also told his dad that he feels he is never noticed unless she is mad at him. Basically, he doesnt feel heard in her house.
That's not the worst of it. The ex had already told us on a couple of occasions that she's slapped T across the face. I didnt like it, but I didnt feel there was much I could do, but apparently its gone further. She's taken those same books he bought and beat him with them. They are heavy, thick, hardback books. When he was talking about all of this and not being heard, he was sobbing. This crosses the line to me. He is too old (almost 12) for spankings, etc in my opinion and she shouldnt be so violent towards him. I personally believe this is crossing into child abuse. But we don't know what to do.
A year or two ago, both boys told us that their mom was leaving them alone at night. They would wake up and she wouldnt be there and it happened multiple times. We figured she was at the neighbor's (because that was her bf at the time) but either way, they were WAY too young to be left alone at night and especially if they didnt know about it. Waking up with your parents missing at age 7 and 9 must be frightening. We called their school and told them what the boys said and asked that they talk to the boys, etc. We didnt want to be blamed for making it up or making false reports, so we put it in their hands (which at the time is what we were told by lawyers and social workers was a very smart idea) Nothing ever came of this at all. And when we brought it up to her later to let her know what we did, she said that the kids were mistaken. The oldest MIGHT make up a story about it, but the youngest? no way.. he is 200% mama's boy. If he said it, it's true. I think they were old enough to know whether or not she was there in a 2-bedroom home.
So now we are in a horrible position. I told my fiance that before he even told us he had been getting hit with the books and other things, that I had a really sick feeling when she said she slapped him. I wouldnt want to admit I slapped my son to other people.. but she said it casually as if it was no big deal. It made me wonder, if she admits to this so easily, what things is she NOT admitting to. And now I know.
So we dont know what to do and its just breaking both our hearts. I know his oldest wants to come and live with us, but the legal battle would be hellish. I think the statutes in VA say that the kids can have a say once they reach age 12. If so, we may need to wait until after that time anyways. I personally think we ALL need to go to a counselor together and work some of this out, but I doubt she'd agree to it.
Anyways, this is what I dealt with and I still lost a pound. YAY me. I've crossed into the smaller points range and I'm glad for that. I'm going to try to do a better job with water and snacking this week. This week is pretty stressful as well. It's the first week of school and I work in the technology dept for a school system with the program they use to track info about students, gradebooks, attendance, etc and I also handle network and email accounts. So my job is REALLY awful right now. I simply cant get everything done in the time I have! But off I go!
I hope everyone has a less stressful week than I will!!
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