[MorticiaAddams]

I was thinking about posting this in the Husband thread but ...
My husband has come home with a hair cut and has dropped more weight again. Im very happy because i know he has work for it and hes doing really great. For just a breif moment I was jelous.Im stuck right now and im trying to get thru it. Hes put on a lot of muscle and has lost weight and is really looking really good. Not that he didnt before to me its just I thought .
He is going to get really hot and have all this confindense and leave me.
That went thru my head and I snapped right out of it by thinking Hes my husband and I know he loves me.
Im not happy with my body yet. Ive lost alot of weight number wise but in my mind in still that 313 pound woman I was before.
The mind can be a very tricky area.
But I wanted to share that even thou we love someone with all our hearts that what I was afraid of the most was losing him.

[dona]

I know how you feel..
My Joe is such a handsome man.. looks like a wrestler.. but I know he turned alot more heads at 225 then he does at 280.. He has lost down from 300.. I've thought about that too.. If he loses the weight he is going to get seriously hit on..

You know in life that there is always someone better.. Someone thinner.. prettier.. Will some pretty little girl go after my man??

Also.. I know when we met my weight was low and I also got hit on alot.. Now.. if someone hits on me I feel like I've done something wrong.. something to encourage it..

Even as big as I still am I had some guy try to pick me up when I was out walking the other night.. and I thought.. Wait a minute.. I know I wasn't sending out "that" signal..

Joe and I have been together over 10 years.. Fidelity is on the top of our list as we have both been cheated on in past relationships.. So.. we lose the weight.. we get "hot".. (or as hot as 45 year olds can get..) then does our relationship become at risk.. because we are suddenly attactive to other people..

We were both pretty fit when we met.. then I got sick.. and I fed us.. alot..

We were both pretty sexy back then.. Now I feel that is a big reason for me to lose.. Though he has never been anything but supportive to me.. and he loves me thick or thin.. This.. was not what he signed up for.. He fell in love with a thinner, sexier more confident version of me..

Now we always talk around here about guys sabotaging our diets.. I have to look at this long and hard.. He is trying to figure out why I am losing faster than he is.. But I make his meals.. Now.. he cheats.. I find snickers bars in his lunch box etc.. but maybe I am not supporting him as much as I could because I'm afraid I will lose him... I have to really do some soul searching on this one..

I know we are very protective of what we have and we have a great relationship but yeah.. the mind is very tricky.. and our little insecurities can get the best of us now and then..

[marbleflys]

45 Hot has a different viewpoint than 30-35 year olds....(I refer to myself as fine wine)....more mellow....You both have a strong relationship and know your partners worth. thick or thin, you don't treat them differently.

However, feeling more physically attractive, you project yourself to others differently, it's the self-love? self confidence? Who doesn't get a mood boost when they step on the scale and see improvement? (I do the happy-dance in the bathroom)

[dona]

I think the difference for me is 45 hot is for him.. and for me..
35 hot was for the world..
I'm not concerned with looking sexy to the world.. maybe more confident and professional.. I would like to look great in my business suits rather than looking great in a bathing suit as was the goal at 35..
At 35 thin, I was dressing as a teen.. at 45 I can see a more polished classic look I think is what I'm wanting to achieve..
yeah.. the happy dance..I hadn't thought about it but I think I do that too!!

[marbleflys]

Exactly! When I'm up in front of a roomful of students, I want to focus on the topic I'm presenting to them.....(and not have the inside image of my buttisimo looking w-i-d-e-r than my screen)

[dona]

Ya know SA... I worked in factorys for years and they are like Peyton Place. I think the monotany of the job.. the opportunity.. Yes... there probably are women who flirt with him. I think his attitude is horrible though. You reach your goal Sexy.. You get slender for you.. I think you will find when you do your not going to want him anymore.
I'm sure my guy likes Daisy Duke too.. sure what guy wouldn't.. but he would never tell me that. You stay committed.. stay determined.. Stay persistant.. Your husbund better wise up.. cuz when you reach your goal your not going to want to be around someone who puts you down or makes you feel this way.. Hugs!