[nowtnewunderthesun]

For a while now I've had a private board on Pintrest in which I collect up all the types of outfits I'd be wearing if I was of a size that could walk into any clothing shop and buy anything knowing it looked ok on me. It's been private because I was too anxious that someone might see it and laugh at the prospect that I'd ever think I could wear these types of things.

I think I partly started it because I had forgotten what my personal taste was as my basis for selecting clothes now are things like "Will it ride up and expose my stomach if I raise my arms?" or "Is the fabric clinging to every bulge?"

If you do something similar, and you're willing to share, I'd really love to see any mood board (on any site, not just Pinterest) that you might have. I think clothes say a lot about the personality of the person which would be a great way for me to get to know fellow forum users but also it's just great inspiration.

[Palestrina]

No! All women are beautiful and that includes me! I do not want to perpetuate the idea that only skinny girls deserve to wear beautiful clothes. And collecting pictures of clothes that I want to wear when I'm skinny only makes me feel bad about who I am now - which goes a long way in sabotaging any effort I put into my health. I love and accept my body as it is and that means I deserve clothes that make me look and feel beautiful NOW. I don't need a carrot dangling over me in order to make changes to my life.

Girl, there are dozens of new plus sized fashion bloggers who look amazing! You just need to do a google search. The bloggers I tend to stick with are women with sort of my body shape. But with a quick search you can find bloggers who fit your style. Looking at skinny models makes me feel disassociated, ashamed and hopeless. Looking at real women with good fashion sense makes me feel empowered and connected to the world.

These are some of my faves
http://girlwithcurves.com/
http://www.curvygirlchic.com/
http://www.nadiaaboulhosn.com/
http://www.jaymiranda.com/
http://gabifresh.com/

[Esofia]

What Palestrina said! Also go and look at Curvety, it's a site for selling plus-sized clothes and the models all look fabulous. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and many are women of colour, which is far too rare in the modelling industry. I find it really inspiring.

I've bought a couple of waistcoats on eBay which turned up a bit too small and am hanging onto them since hopefully they'll fit in a month or so, but generally no, I do not buy clothes that are too small or ogle clothes that are too small. I am not window-shopping for some imaginary "perfect" me that makes who I am now feel bad for not being perfect. I couldn't lose weight if I felt that bad about my body, I'd be miserable and stress-eating as a result. It is completely possible to like your body the way it is and still prefer to be slimmer. It's a bit like liking your hair at different lengths.

[nowtnewunderthesun]

Originally Posted by Palestrina

No! All women are beautiful and that includes me! I do not want to perpetuate the idea that only skinny girls deserve to wear beautiful clothes. And collecting pictures of clothes that I want to wear when I'm skinny only makes me feel bad about who I am now - which goes a long way in sabotaging any effort I put into my health. I love and accept my body as it is and that means I deserve clothes that make me look and feel beautiful NOW. I don't need a carrot dangling over me in order to make changes to my life.

Girl, there are dozens of new plus sized fashion bloggers who look amazing! You just need to do a google search. The bloggers I tend to stick with are women with sort of my body shape. But with a quick search you can find bloggers who fit your style. Looking at skinny models makes me feel disassociated, ashamed and hopeless. Looking at real women with good fashion sense makes me feel empowered and connected to the world.

Well you certainly make an excellent point about accepting myself as I am. Whilst I'm not attempting to lose weight purely for aesthetic reasons, I just don't seem to be able to get to the state of mind where I can accept myself as I am at the moment.

This is not to say that I think there's anything wrong or shameful about being big and you're right, there are fantastic examples of stunning large people on this site and in the media. I have no idea why I just can't offer myself the same kindness and acceptance.

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by nowtnewunderthesun

Well you certainly make an excellent point about accepting myself as I am. Whilst I'm not attempting to lose weight purely for aesthetic reasons, I just don't seem to be able to get to the state of mind where I can accept myself as I am at the moment.

This is not to say that I think there's anything wrong or shameful about being big and you're right, there are fantastic examples of stunning large people on this site and in the media. I have no idea why I just can't offer myself the same kindness and acceptance.

You can. It comes with lots of practice and patience. It takes years to build up negativity about our bodies and it's a hard habit to break. But it is possible.

[nowtnewunderthesun]

Well I'm definitely working on it