[reflektor]

Hi guys,
I'm hoping to get some help. I'm 25 and I work from home. I design jewelry and am able to fully support myself financially through my business and, as an artist, it's a dream come true. But, i'm lacking stability and support living this way. I live with my mom and my stepdad. My mom was physically and psychologically abusive when I was growing up, but has gotten much better over the years. She can still be very hurtful and she is constantly berating me about my weight, my business, anything that will get a reaction from me is up for grabs. My father sexually abused me and moving back here with my mom and stepdad (even though he's a great man and has never even said anything threatening to me) has brought back too many negative memories. I immediately gained weight upon moving here. I moved in weighing 165 and now 3 years later i'm at 245. I've isolated myself, I was very social and now I never leave the house. All of this got worse when I started my business, as at least before my job forced me to be around people. My business makes me happier than my old job, it's just now my reclusive ways have become intolerable.

I feel like I can't reconnect with my friends because i'm ashamed of the way I look.
When I try to fix my weight, I end up spiraling out of control out of subconscious fear I could be sexually abused again.
I just feel so trapped and I can't think of what to do. Can anyone help me or offer advice/support?

[skittlesfirehawk]

i think you should seek conseling and find a way to live on your own since your able to support yourself before you try to tackle your weight issues.

[SophiasMom]

I'm sorry this has you down. Although I cannot give you ample advice with what you've been through, I can support you on your journey.

I, too, work from home. I have my own Etsy business that started off as a hobby. With a lot of drive and passion I made it a successful full time job and I decided to do the same with my weight loss. I believe you can do the same. When you started your jewelry business it was small steps right? A sale here.. A sale there..., right? You can do take this same route with losing weight and getting on the right path.

I'm here if you need a buddy - I'm just at the beginning of my journey, but I can relate on how hard it is to get this damn thing going.

Good luck

[kurisitaru]

You said you can support yourself financially, that's Epic and awesome. The first thing I would do is move out. It sounds like a toxic environment. Does anyone know about the sexual abuse? If so, will they protect you if needed? That may help relax you a bit if you know you'll be saved.

Personally, I would get out, get counseling, then worry about your weight. Get social as well. Maybe join a meetup and make new friends, certainly reconnect with the old ones. Real friends will not judge you for gaining weight, they'll stand by you and help you. Meetup.com had a lot of great groups, some are looking to lose weight, others just might be up your alley.

I wish you luck.