[underanalysis]

Hello ladies! I thought I'd crash your board for a minute to get some advice on my mom's weight loss journey.

My mother is 61, I'm about to be 28, and she's been dieting off and on since before I was born. She's gone on and off Weight Watchers in particular many times, but has also tried Atkins, and even Slim Fast once. She's dieted with and without exercise.

About 17 years ago, she lost a lot of weight on WW (over 100 lbs), but she put about 30 lbs back on within a year.

Recently, she decided to jump into calorie counting since she knows that's what I've done. She's doing some yoga and walking, and told me she was eating 1200 calories/day. I told her in no uncertain terms that wasn't enough, and talked her up to 1500 at least, which I calculated as being more in line with where she should be.

I feel like my mom has serious issues with food, bordering on a disorder. She's been on and off various diets for almost 30 years, and she's never happy. She swings from one extreme to the other and is overly critical not only of her body but of me, friends, and even strangers.

She is slightly overweight for her height right now. She also seems to - mostly - listen to me when I talk about weight loss stuff now. But I know about weight loss as a girl in her twenties, not as an older woman, and I'm sure there are unique situations and strategies I'm not aware of. I want to be able to encourage her toward healthy eating and good habits, and away from this crash diet spiral she usually gets into, in the hope she'll be able to improve her overall health.

Any advice is appreciated!

For your edification, here's a picture of me with my mom taken in March:

[canadjineh]

It's good that your mom is working in exercise as that will help her keep muscle which burns fat more efficiently. BUT, weight loss is made in the kitchen, while fitness & maintenance is made in the gym/exercise plan.

As we get older, we really do need less calories so your mom is not out of line in the 1200 calorie range while losing weight as long as she is getting all her necessary supplements in. The easiest way for her to track her calories and proteins/carbs/fats/etc is at MyFitnessPal.com. You can help her set up her profile with her age, gender, height, normal activity levels, and the amount she wants to lose per week, which should NOT be more than 2 lbs/wk. The closer she is to goal, the longer it will take to lose the amount. She isn't very heavy from the picture so I would aim for 1 lb a week. It is important to make sure she is getting good quality protein in sufficient amounts - between .5 grams per lb and 1.25 grams per lb. Of course she should be aiming for as many healthy fresh vegetables as she can - especially those lower in carbs. Lower fat dairy and whole grains and some fruit in moderation help too. The main trick is to realize that although she may be upping her calories when she is at maintenance, she cannot go back to old habits - using food for comfort or celebration, not measuring correct portion sizes, eating too many processed low nutrition foods full of simple sugars and starches and fats. If she goes back to old habits she WILL regain weight.

Try to support a healthy eating plan for her and encourage her to keep up the exercise. The Beck Diet Solution book is a good one to help us deal with the emotions of food and the control it can have over us. You can get more info online or get it from the library. It is not a food plan, but rather a retraining of our view & use of food, whichever eating plan we choose.

Best wishes on your journey together, I can see you really love your mom & want her to be as healthy as possible for a long time to come.

[NewWoman]

Did she ask for your help and advice?

[souvenirdarling]

Hi undera,

I'm 28 with a mum in her late 50s. She's definitely pre-occupied with weightloss too, talks a LOT about her walks and counting calories and how all she needs is lettuce and veggies for lunch, no dressing. It concerns me too, but I'm glad it's something she's open to talking about instead of hiding.

I try to be a listener and expose her to different views, share different views of what "healthy" means. I'm sure she'll notice whatever small sustainable changes you make. You as an example of moderation - not obsessing, not restrict/binging, not crash-dieting - will probably be best At least, I'm hoping so.

[lucindaarrowspark]

I will crash in on this conversation. The diet/food rules after menopause are different (IMO).
On the days I don't plan on exercising I can eat like a baby bunny rabbit. I really can thrive and flourish on very little calories if I just go about my daily chores. But I love to dance Zumba so therefore I let my caloric intake bump up a bit so I will have enough energy to shake what G-d gave me.