I turned 50 in February. It freaked me out! I still can't accept it. I don't feel 50, however that's supposed to feel. I've been told I look like a 38-year old, I feel the mental vibrancy of a 28-year-old, the physical health of a 65-year-old, the wisdom of a 110-year-old, and at times, the emotional maturity of a 6-year-old! I'm all over the place!
Five years ago I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. That was a major wake-up call for me. But I was so scattered with my efforts. Did I just want to lose weight? Was that even a realistic goal for me? What did I really want? After some time and a lot of soul searching, I decided I wanted to enjoy a full, vibrant life. I re-evaluated my wants and needs and came up with a plan for achieving whole mind-body health and a real sense of well-being.
I find I'm progressing nicely with my new, more realistic goals. The weight loss is only a piece of it, and it hasn't been easy. It seems to be part of the last efforts in my overall plan. Just worked out that way. I have to say, I feel really good about who I am. I know what I want. I know what I don't want. I can move my body better now than I have been able to in many years. I gave up a lot of poor food choices. I recently finally gave up overeating and am managing emotions much better. I just don't need the extra food any more.
I'm still frustrated that under all the excess pounds there lurks a 50-year-old that's going to need to have excess skin removed, and not that vibrant 28-year-old I was hoping to find. I'm hoping my vibrant 50-year-old self can shine through and kick the backside of some 28-year-olds I know.
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