Location: Smack dab in the middle, Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 668
S/C/G: 203.4/170.4/140.0
Height: 5'0"
"Oh, are you ALLOWED to have that?!" Grrrr!
I wish that people would realize that unlike other times in my life, this time I am not on a damn DIET. I am trying to change my eating habits and my lifestyle for the long haul, and I am not denying myself ANYTHING.
My mother (god love her) is very supportive. She really is. BUT. She also really needs to cut the question "Are you allowed to have that?" out of her repetoire. Yes, Mom, I can have a can of chicken noodle soup. Yes, Mom, I *can* have a peanut butter sandwich. Yes, Mom, I *can* have a piece of chocolate cake on my grandmother's birthday. I wish she would just realize that I CAN EAT ANYTHING, WITHIN REASON...and that if there's something "extra" that I want, I can either use some of my weekly points, or structure my daily points accordingly!
I think it's mostly because, well, she's 65. She's part of the generation where, if you wanted to lose weight, you severely restricted what you ate, and just deprived yourself of anything but vegetables, salads and black coffee.
When I joined WW, she decided she would try the points thing on her own. So every night she calls me and lists what she's had to eat throughout the day. And every night without fail, I'll be like, "....Mom, that is *not* enough food." I mean, honestly, she's consistently eating between 15-20 points' worth of food a day. But I guess she just has this mindset that "less food = good", no matter what. It's....baffling, and a little infuriating, too, when I'm visiting her and she says stuff like "I don't understand how you can eat MORE and lose weight. That doesn't make any sense."
I wish I could get her to understand that I want this to stick, which is why I refuse to completely give *anything* up. That, for me personally, is a surefire way to fail and go right back to my old habits.
I just needed to vent. Hopefully I didn't come off as too much of a huge *****. *L*
I grew up with the mindset that dieting meant eating horrible food. From my first diet at 5 years old, I learned that diet food meant grapefruit, lettuce and unseasoned baked chicken breast (why my Mom and Grandma thought the seasonings had to be absent I still can't tell you).
It was almost as if they thought that the weight came off not because of the calorie restriction, but because of the punishment of eating flavorless food. If it tasted good, it wasn't a big enough sacrifice to the gods of weight loss I guess.
THIS is what women our moms' ages thought they had to eat to lose weight. Kaplods is spot-on--this isn't a diet, this is gustatory punishment for the "sin" of gaining weight. Diets used to be incredibly punitive. If you look at James Lileks' Gallery of Regrettable Food, you'll see that regular meals could be pretty nasty too, but the diet stuff...inedible. Absolutely inedible!
You don't come off as a ***** of any sort, huge or otherwise. I'd be right there with you if I had someone asking about my being "allowed" to eat stuff. I think we all get a little stuck in our era's thinking sometimes. I know that as a 1980s and early '90s dieter, I'm still overcoming the "fat is bad, mmkay?" stigma that low-fat dieting stuck in my head.
Location: Smack dab in the middle, Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 668
S/C/G: 203.4/170.4/140.0
Height: 5'0"
@Jinksie: Yep, I have...several times. I think the reason I can't really get angry at her about it is because, as I said, her generation's idea of "eating to lose weight" consists of eating nothing that they actually enjoyed, you know? I guess it's hard to wrap your head around the idea that you CAN eat the things you enjoy and still lose weight, and that moderation -- not deprivation -- is the key.
Like I said, she *is* supportive of what I'm trying to do, so I try to overlook her "Are you allowed to eat that?" routine. *L* Hopefully she'll realize that what I'm doing *is* working (after all...you don't lose nearly 20 pounds if you're doing something wrong, do you?) and know that I don't need to be questioned on whether or not I can eat certain things.
That is my number one dieting pet peeve, people asking if you are "allowed" to eat something, implying that you should not, and also the opposite, when people say "Oh, you can have ________. It's not that bad." I eat everything, but I choose what I want to spend my calories on. Yes, pizza isn't that bad. I can have a couple pieces if I want to, but I just don't find a "hot and ready" Little Ceasars pizza remotely worth it. My kids are food pushers too. I took them both to McD and Dairy Queen this weekend and it really seems to bother them when I don't order anything. They ask why not, and then repeatedly offer me a bit of theirs.
THIS is what women our moms' ages thought they had to eat to lose weight. Kaplods is spot-on--this isn't a diet, this is gustatory punishment for the "sin" of gaining weight. Diets used to be incredibly punitive. If you look at James Lileks' Gallery of Regrettable Food, you'll see that regular meals could be pretty nasty too, but the diet stuff...inedible. Absolutely inedible!
You don't come off as a ***** of any sort, huge or otherwise. I'd be right there with you if I had someone asking about my being "allowed" to eat stuff. I think we all get a little stuck in our era's thinking sometimes. I know that as a 1980s and early '90s dieter, I'm still overcoming the "fat is bad, mmkay?" stigma that low-fat dieting stuck in my head.
LOLOL! i had tears streaming down my face reading those recipe cards. Too too funny!
When I'm shopping my husband and I will walk past the crisps aisle or the sweets and he says "I don't think we need that aisle now do we?!" as if I was a child. If I didn't know he was joking I'd smack him one
LOLOL! i had tears streaming down my face reading those recipe cards. Too too funny!
I know, huh!?
Fluffy. Mackerel. PUDDING. If I tried, I don't think I could assemble three more incongruous words.
It's great to be losing weight in the age of Flat-Out wraps, Laughing Cow cheese, and year-round availability for fresh fruits and veggies, isn't it?
Theyda--you have more restraint than I do. My husband used the phrase, "You're eating that now?" once. Once. Haha, he's never said anything like it since, so I must've given him a truly fearsome death-glare.
It only takes one look and they never say it again, we can thank our mothers for death stares, it always seems to be passed down through the generations
It only takes one look and they never say it again, we can thank our mothers for death stares, it always seems to be passed down through the generations
OMG @ those recipe cards. I'm so glad WW has evolved. I can't believe that they made any money in the 70's, perhaps the comedy/horror niches kept them afloat.
Every time my husband sees me eating something naughty and writing it down in my journal he looks at me with a raised eyebrow, but atleast he has sense enough to not actually say anything.
When I'm shopping my husband and I will walk past the crisps aisle or the sweets and he says "I don't think we need that aisle now do we?!" as if I was a child. If I didn't know he was joking I'd smack him one
i try to avoid it also, cos there are better choices. But i usually have at least one tube of pringles (multi-grain) in my cupboard.. 4 points for 12.. MINE
Have a preset line for people. My grandmother always makes comments and I tell her "I'm not WW I can eat anything I plan for!" It makes them laugh, and back off.
I like when my husband puts things away when we are shopping, it helps me when I have low willpower. But then he gets home and wonders where the chips are. LOL.
My family is not much help either....mostly because none of them have ever had any clue on how to diet. Our car got lit on fire by an arsonist a couple months ago and my mom went and picked somethings up at the store for me. I asked her to get me some chocolate chip cookie. She brought me fat free, they were terrible! They had no flavor and it just made me feel like I needed to eat more just to curb the craving when if I had just had the regular cookies I would have eaten 2 and been done with it!
Last night I at some dark chocolate chips and my husband just stared at me the WHOLE time! I worked my butt of yesterday to get to have a little bit of chocolate and I felt weird the whole time I was eating them. The strange thing is he doesn't think I really need to lose weight so I don't know what the stare was for! Maybe he just didn't get that I don't have to cut out every good thing in the world. Just because I turned down cookies last week doesn't mean I wont have one another day. Everything I eat doesn't have to be low-fat low cal diet food I just have to ensure I don't over do it.
"Oh, are you ALLOWED to have that?!" Grrrr!
