I have thought about going to the Dr. to have my thyroid checked and to just make sure its nothing medical. But I'm pretty sure I know how I got here (to this weight) I am the youngest of 6 kids, there is a 5 year difference between me and the 2nd to the youngest. My mom and dad both had to work so I spent most of my time at my grandparents. I kind of felt abandoned and started turning to food. yummy food... chocolate, candy, cookies... mmmm... Then comments were made about my weight from some family members and some boys at school and that hurt, food made that better also. I played softball till I was about 14 and I rode my bike a lot but that was about it for exercise. About that time we moved across town and my mom and dad figured that I no longer needed someone to watch me after school so I started riding the bus home and spending the next few hours alone...(all of my brothers and sister had moved out and were on their own at this time) it was just me, pop, and little Debbie. things we couldn't afford to keep at home with a house full of kids. I would eat from boredom, I would eat from depression, I would eat even when I wasn't hungry just because something tasted good. When I started dating I started eating out more. When I had my first child, I went from 180 to 250 back to 225 only to find my self at 276 while pregnant with my 2nd child. I got back to 250. my previous diets were exercising more (then finding myself eating more) OR eating less only to feel so deprived that I binged more. I started food journals but felt like they were too hard to keep up with.
But this time, I am counting calories in and calories out (thanks to my android phone, its so much easier than pen and paper. I can type in the food or scan the bar code) At first it was just portion control and exercising and that some how changed to portion control, eating healthier, and exercising ( I guess my taste buds have changed, foods that were blah before are so yummy to me now). I still eat my favorite foods I just don't eat too much of them any more. I don't feel guilty when I throw food out that I didn't eat (a big part of who I was, I was punished for not eating everything on my plate) Since I started these changes I have not left the table in pain from over eating and I don't feel like I'm starving. Oh, and I started writing in a journal about my childhood and how I felt and things that I think may have impacted my weight, that has helped a lot. and weight loss shows on TV like Huge on a&e, I used to be fat, too fat for 15, and Ruby, they all inspire me almost everyday.
If I start to feel like my healthier lifestyle isn't helping me with weight loss I will definitely go get checked out. Thank you for caring enough to ask
and I'm sorry this is so long, but it felt good to get it out
motivationally challenged, nutritional overachiever
