When my doctor suggested 250 lbs as my goal weight (a higher weight goal than I had intended), I was initially both relieved and disappointed. Relieved that he didn't see only skinnihood as success, disappointed that he might think that skinnihood wasn't possible for me.
Initially I thought that setting a higher goal would reduce my motivation, but I realized that the closer my goal seemed, the harder I was willing to work for it "I'm almost there, I can do it."
When I started here, my goal was 150 lbs. It's still my ideal weight, and I haven't given up hope of reaching it, I'm just finding it easier to work on short-term goals than long-range ones.
In that spirit, I've modified my goal weight to reaching 299 lbs. The last time I weighed less than 300 lbs was around 1992 I believe (I'd gotten down to 225 lbs for a friend's wedding in 1991).
In that sense it's still a pretty big goal. I'll be unwinding almost 20 years of weight gain.
Sometimes it's so hard to feel positive about progress, no matter how amazing, just because it's so far away from the ultimate goal.
At heart I'm still that 5 year old in the back seat asking "are we there yet?"
Well, maybe you should view the 250 as a "benchmark" rather than "goal weight". I would see how you feel once you reach these benchmarks and keep going!!! You'll get healthier and healthier.
You deserve to feel positive about your progress; close to ninety pounds lost, almost two decades of weight gain undone, and an ongoing commitment? That's outstanding!
I don't think it's possible not to think, "Are we there yet?" at least a few times. A friend of mine is overly fond of the adage, "It isn't the destination that's important, but the journey"; she says it about saving money, losing weight, driving to Tampa, you name it. It's a simple platitude, but it's got some truth to it. I never looked at the weight gain as a journey because I didn't have a destination in mind and only cared about the next bite of mac and cheese.
Weight loss, on the other hand, involves a destination--one that we sometimes fix our eyes on so intently that we don't look around as much as we should and enjoy the scenery at where we are. Feeling healthier, fitting clothing better, moving better, feeling less pain are all things to celebrate now as well as looking forward to how much better it gets at lower weights.
...none of which makes me any more patient on days when the scale goes down by ounces or not at all. I used to drive my dad NUTS with "Are we there yet?" and he finds it hilarious that now I'm driving myself nuts with it.
I think you're really wise, though, to look at that new 2-something milestone as your nearest horizon. By the way, congratulations on the rightward motion of your ticker--may the other few pounds to your goal follow the already-lost ones, never to return.
Kaplods-
You rock. Congrats on both the weight loss and your positive attitude. I look forward to reading about more losses and joy for you in the coming year.
Kaplods - you are an inspiration to me - as well as many others I'm sure-what an amazing weight loss you've had and so close to your first goal wishing you continued success. I'll bet your Dr. gave you the 250 lb. # as a means of making your goal more attainable - and had your best interests in sight.
I learned to set mini goals of 10% so that each time you reach your goal -your next goal has fewer lbs. to take off -still working on the first 10% -but getting close...L
At first I saw raising the goal as lowering the bar, but that would only be true if I viewed the ultimate goal as the only important one. When I was in college, I didn't worry about my semester grade, I just worried about each grade one test or paper at a time.
The end grade was just the cumulative result of all those smaller grades.
It was harder to see weight loss that way, because well quite frankly we're taught not to. So often I (and others I saw dieting) felt that if the ultimate goal seemed impossible, then there was no point to the journey. I remember when I was 16 or 17 and struggling to reach my goal of 150 lbs. I made it to 155, but just couldn't seem to lose those extra pounds. I think my doctor thought I was becoming complacent and those 5 lbs didn't matter to me (how wrong he was). I think to motivate me, he lowered my goal to 140 lbs, and I blew a gasket. To my (addled teenage) mind, he was telling me that I was still fat at 155 lbs, and to me it felt that if I was finding 150 impossible, 140 was the moon. I felt there was no way for me to get to 140 lbs, so I gave up.
How stupid, stupid, stupid! In hindsight I had so many other options, but it really felt like "I'll never be thin, so what does it matter?"
It's a stupid thought, but one so many of us share, because it's how our culture looks at weight loss. Sometimes a few pounds seem little different from a few hundred, because either way you feel doomed to the "fat" label.
In weight loss, we're often encouraged to think "only perfection" counts. Fifteen calories over goal for the day, and you can feel like you've blown it so badly, you might as well gorge until bedtime and "start fresh tomorrow."
It's idiotic - but we all know it's how the rules of the game are often played. Really losing weight often boils down to breaking all the diet rules you've absorbed over the years (especially difficult, because you don't always realize what you've learned, which makes unlearning it rather complicated).
I'm really excited though about breaking the 300's. It's been so long since I've been in the 2's. To be honest, I found "twooterville" and "onederland" in the thread titles, really hokey - but I'm learning hokey is good too. Whatever keeps you excited and motivated to do "just a little bit more."
I was really worrying that I didn't have more to give. That I was maxed out on the amount of energy I had to put into further weight loss. It was starting to feel that 300+ was inevitable.
Even if I had concluded that, I would have continued to maintain. That's one thing I have learned well - every single pound matters - and the first pound means as much as the last. In that regard, I can always choose to maintain wherever I am, but I refuse to choose to gain - and giving up is choosing to gain.
Colleen, you inspire me so very much. When I am discouraged and the only positive I can find is in the fact that I haven't given up, I think about your often quoted phrase that most people give up, so there is success for those of us that haven't given up.
I also love that you celebrate the health benefits of losing weight. 10%, 20%, all of these are worthy accomplishments.
So, 299 is going to look great on your ticker. And I have no doubt that you will continue to "kaplod" along on your journey.
At first I saw raising the goal as lowering the bar, but that would only be true if I viewed the ultimate goal as the only important one. When I was in college, I didn't worry about my semester grade, I just worried about each grade one test or paper at a time.
The end grade was just the cumulative result of all those smaller grades.
This thread is so spot-on right now for me. I'm struggling with my own frustrations and this grade analogy made sense, because I dropped college calculus back in the day because I was getting a "C" in the class and I decided I would rather drop the class than to get the "C". I later had to take calculus again (2 times) and it was miserable and I don't know why I just didn't do it the first time.
My doctor also gave me a higher goal weight -- 160 lbs. It's on the edge between the BMI of "overweight" and "normal weight." I think our doctors are just giving us benchmarks that are attainable without seeming to be impossible. I believe I can blow through the 160 lbs eventually as you will blow through the 250 eventually too.
Thank you for this post. I'm still frustrated with myself and my weight loss, but I have to remember it's about the journey and the little decisions that I make each day that are positive things for my healthy (and eventually, weight loss).
Kaplods, I love best about this post that you sound motivated! I haven't seen the "motivated" you around for a while. Just a spark of something that inspires us is nice sometimes, and it seems 299 has inspired you. That's wonderful! Many people are highly encouraged by goals of getting into a new century! That's well worth celebrating! And it makes you feel like you've accomplished something along the way.
I may raise my ultimate goal by ten pounds because right now it doesn't seem like I can get there. I know the mental anguish that goes with raising a goal. It feels like failure and it feels like accepting failure, but truly and weight loss is a success.
I adore reading your posts because you are so informative and entertaining. I am so proud of you and whatever you decide will be the best choice for you
I love reading your posts. When I'm looking around if I see your avatar I click to read what you have to say. You are so knowledgable. I understand the smaller goals and believe that once a person reaches a goal they can reshape that goal. Congratulations on everything you have accomplished.
I think that you are doing great and if changing your current goal weight is going to help you maintain your motivation then it is a great idea! I've been having these same feelings lately. I know that the changes we are making are ones we have to keep for life but the weight loss component seems never ending. I feel like I've had so much success and yet I still have so far to go. I recently ate off plan and am up 3 pounds right now (mostly water weight but still) I feel like I was so close to 199 and now I'm moving in the wrong direction! So frustrating. So lately I've been thinking about changing MY goal to 175. Like you, this is NOT my ultimate goal. But I think it is a weight that I could be ok with for a while. So I am thinking about getting to that weight and then switching to maintenance for 6 months or so. During that time, my focus will be on fitness goals like running 5ks and mountain climbing. Then, after 6 months or maybe a year, I'll go back into weight loss mode with a goal of 155. Some people might say I'm nuts to do this because I'll be "so close" but I just think it will be easier on me psychologically. Anyways, my point is that a lot of the trick of staying motivated is pure semantics and, in the end, all that matters is that we keep improving our health!
I definitely felt a lot less stress when I added Mini Goals for my Journey. 85 pounds seems so unattainable. 10 lbs to my first goal is so much less stressful to think about.
Are we there yet?
Just a spark of something that inspires us is nice sometimes, and it seems 299 has inspired you. That's wonderful! Many people are highly encouraged by goals of getting into a new century! That's well worth celebrating! And it makes you feel like you've accomplished something along the way. 
