So I'm 5'9 and 200lbs. I just weighed myself after refusing to for the past 7 years. I had convinced myself that I was comfortable with the way I looked and if that was so, then I didn't need to lose weight or even weigh myself. In truth, I didn't think I could lose it so I just didn't want to know how heavy I am. In new light, I think I can.
I started smoking when I was 18 and I really enjoyed it too much to quit, I didn't want to quit. One day I made a deal with my husband that if he would do all the things on my list (things he had been promising me he'd do for the past year) that I would quit 2 months later, august 11th. He didn't get it all done but I quit anyway. Since I had my husband on my butt from the start (and randomly sniffing me) I was able to quit with no problem. I still have dreams of them, but I also have dreams of donuts so... they'll probably never end.
Now I'm thinking that if I was able to quit smoking, maybe I have the self control to lose that weight after all. I always wanted to lose it but, I was defiant to make sure I didn't lose it. My sister went on a health craze a while back and lost some weight. She's always been smaller than me and has been flat out calling me fat since I was 6! She recently measured my stomach with a tape measure and it was 43in and she's been calling me "43" ever since. She even did it in public earlier today and told everyone why she called me that. Well she got pregnant, and ate everything in sight for months after years of eating the equivalent of cardboard. So needless to say shes gained a lot of weight. She weighs exactly 4 lbs less than me right now. Now I know when that baby pops out, she's gonna lose some of that weight, but I want to lose it faster than her. I want the chance to be smaller than her. This will be my only chance, she will never be this heavy again. If I don't lose it faster than her, all I'll hear is how I cant lose the weight as fast as her and how fat I am.
My main problem is I'm a potato addict. I love potatoes, I can't give them up, so now I have to find a way to work around that or I'll never make it. Another problem is that my husband was the one who kept me in line when I quit smoking (that and my sister tried quitting like 4 times, it only took me once
) but I dont want him to know that I'm trying to lose weight. He teases me about my weight all the time. He calls me Fat Monkey, Piggy, Chubster, all those things, but when I say something about it he gets mad that I'm "getting worked up over a joke" so if I even mention I'm going to lose weight, he's just going to tell me that I can't do it.
I spent the whole day trying to find a way to lose weight. I can't buy those expensive foods, in fact we rarely eat at home at all. We all work for my dad, my mom cooks after we get off work so it's pretty much whatever she cooks. I need info. I lost a lot of weight right before my wedding (I was 250) but that was because I was so run out that I was having a hard time finding time to eat some peanut butter crackers. I know starving myself is no way to go about it so I'm not even going to try that.
I guess all I need is someone to talk to, someone I can talk to about diets and exercise. My husband has diabetes so I think I might be able to use that as a way to get us both in a gym soon. Depends on what he thinks.
Anyone wanna be my weight loss buddy?! I promise not to write this much nonsense ever again!
finally comfortable losing the weight
Dhani 
!!! I would love to be your weight loss buddy 
You are on your way. The ladies here are sweet and give some pretty awesome advice! And congrats on giving up smoking. ANYONE who can do that can do THIS 
Hugs and Support on your journey.
