Judgemental but I can't help it! and NSV
Long winded, read at your own risk!
So I was at my moms yesterday, we have a love hate relationship, more love since I'm older but she has always been very discriminating when it comes to my weight...basically I'll never be perfect unless I'm thin. I have lost so much weight and the only times she acknowledges this is when womeone else compliments me and she'll jump in. So she has gained probably 30 lbsish and just loks normal to me, not too big or too small, she was very small when my dad and her divorced but since remarrying she has put weight on. I was in her laundry room yesterday and noticed she had some clothes on the dryer and looked and saw the shirt said size 16/18 and the shorts were size 14. I had a moment where I thought OMG I can wear my moms shirt now and the shorts in another 3 months or so, I felt so happy! It wasn't so much that she is wearing those sizes it was more the fact that she won't be able to look at me as the fat girl anymore when I am her size.
Even more than that, I look at her and see a normal sized person and its hard to envision myself as a normal sized person. It was a great moment for me.
Also my brother who I rarely see as he's in the Navy, was in town yesterday for a few hours and we were taking pictures, when I looked back at all the pictures last night I didn't have to erase any. I'm sure so many have been in the position where you're looking over the pictures that were taken and cringing and deleting or cropping here and there. For the first time in 7 years I didn't have to delete them or crop. I actually looked normal and not like the fat family member sticking out in the middle. This was enough to keep me motivated, too bad it didn't happen earlier in the day since I ate a piece of cake and had a shot of alcohol, oh well. I'm detoxing from the sugar today, not going to worry about it or dwell.
Thanks everyone for your support here as it really is the only place I find commonality right now! Most of my friends that are obese/overweight aren't trying to change their lives so its nice to have a place to share.
okay done!
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