[daizy hotrocks]

I think I have mentioned in other posts things about my bf... long story short: my weight has been an 'issue' in our relationship.

To give him a lil credit, he met me when I was a lot heavier and stayed with me and he has supported me so much with my journey and helped in a lot of ways BUT sometimes he has an ugly side about him that p***** me off!!!

Today he came up from taking a shower and had on a pair of my jeans. Don't know what inspired him to put them on but they were sitting in the laundry room and are TOO BIG for me so they are waiting to transition into the donation box. So he had a bit of a fit because he can fit into my jeans and he doesn't think a guy should be able to fit into his girl's jeans.

On a side note... I am venting on here because when I get p*****, especially at him for weight comments I tend to eat. I am trying so hard to do different things besides eat so here I am.

Also, he has a projection problem meaning that when he is self conscious about himself he tends to push it onto others.. ie ME! I know this and I know I am not HUGE and he is smaller then me but it still hurts.

[diet gal]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Your bf needs to realize that this is his personal stereotype and telling you about it is just gonna make you feel crappy. I'm a curvy girl and I've had plenty of skinny men that thought my body was gorgeous... two or three of them could fit in my jeans!

Vent away. We're here for ya

[jendlee72]

I know it doensn't make it feel any different, but you are so pretty and- what I'd give to be at your weight! Don't feel bad about yourself. You rock! I think men can be really insensitive, in part maybe b/c they don't realize how much the weight thing bothers us. They're always so confident (over-confident mostly!).

[daizy hotrocks]

AMEN ladies!!!

diet gal- Thanks for the response and letting me vent. I love having curves too and ultimately its what I feel about my body-not him. I should tell him to keep it to himself!

Jandlee- you WILL be at my weight and past it! Its a journey... I've decided I'm taking the scenic route but I too will hit my goal. I need to post my largest pic... I was your starting weight. Looks like we have some things in common

[Shytowngal]

You've done a great job losing daizy! It's too bad your selfish bf can't appreciate it too. I've been in one of those relationships... not fun. I see that kind of thing as contolling... and baseline emotional abuse. Once you are his "perfect size" I'm sure he'll come up with something else to scrutinize. Look hard at this relationship. I feel that you're better than it. Sorry if this seems so dramatic! But I've been there, done that, and would hate for you to follow my same path. Here's to hoping I'm wrong!!!

[Bunnynicula]

At almost 300lbs I still could find men that love my body. My fiance is very supportive and loves me at all sizes. I dont think you should put up with that at any size..not that it even matters but your not that big at all!! Girl..i dont know you..but you NEVER for any reason have to put up with that..my fiance could fit into one leg of my pants (well maybe). Ughh this is awful I agree with the last post..even after your at goal..im sure he will find something else to have an issue with.

[Scarlette13]

you only weigh 150 pounds sister.. for real.. is this guy from the lollipopp guild? Maybe he doesnt realize he is not helpful. I have met guys that dont have the same consideration for weight as girls do. They are just crass about it... i hope he is more caring in other areas....
you are doing great really you are.....

[Hvnlymzic]

My friend and I have this conversation all the time...we're both SO thankful that we have men that don't care much about our weight. We're both bigger than our husbands are....her by quite a bit...my hubby is big too.

You wrote to vent, not for advice, so I'll hold my tongue, but hang in there hun. You're a gorgeous girl

[katwmn1]

Scarlette is right...150 is NOT huge. You are three inches taller than me and are heading for the same goal weight I am, so don't feel bad about yourself and DO NOT LET HIM BRING YOU DOWN!!!

Sounds like he has some "issues" he needs to deal with - too bad he chooses to do that through you.

Being "Rubenesque" does have it's advantages

[porchmom84]

Originally Posted by daizy hotrocks

I think I have mentioned in other posts things about my bf... long story short: my weight has been an 'issue' in our relationship.

To give him a lil credit, he met me when I was a lot heavier and stayed with me and he has supported me so much with my journey and helped in a lot of ways BUT sometimes he has an ugly side about him that p***** me off!!!

Today he came up from taking a shower and had on a pair of my jeans. Don't know what inspired him to put them on but they were sitting in the laundry room and are TOO BIG for me so they are waiting to transition into the donation box. So he had a bit of a fit because he can fit into my jeans and he doesn't think a guy should be able to fit into his girl's jeans.

On a side note... I am venting on here because when I get p*****, especially at him for weight comments I tend to eat. I am trying so hard to do different things besides eat so here I am.

Also, he has a projection problem meaning that when he is self conscious about himself he tends to push it onto others.. ie ME! I know this and I know I am not HUGE and he is smaller then me but it still hurts.

Hoping today was a good day for you and so proud of you for venting in lieu of eating....Doing to great to let someone bring you down! Now....having said that....I found myself falling into a bit of emotional eating today (and read your post afterwards).....I'll get back on track now!

[daizy hotrocks]

THanks again!!!

We actually are a great pair... we met on EHarmony and our first date was 7 hours long. We met at a time when I was large and he was in the best shape of his life. He could have walked away because of my weight but he said I had a lot of drive and loved everything else about me. I actually broke up with him 3 times the first 9 months we dated because of this issue. It would also be different if I was happy with my body but I am not. If I was happy and he still had problems (or if that ends up being the case when I am at goal) I will rethink the relationship.

We both want the same in life... to be fit for life not just for a brief time. I think the main problem right now is that he turned 30 and is freaking out. Plus we have been dating almost 2 years and he expected that my weight issues to be gone my now (so did I!!!) I am going to therapy with the woman who teaches my center's connections class. She has done the program and is a therapist so the work we are doing is really helping me but my weight loss has come to a pretty big stand still. There is so much more to this, at least for me, then food. It is an emotional connection that takes me to some childhood issues that I am working through and to throw that into a weight loss journey is a big mess and has extended the time I thought it would take to loose my weight. I have to laugh at the 3-5 lbs a week that MRC promises now. With the weight I have gained back I have lost 14 lbs in almost 9 months!!! I'm not the best example of this program.

I did loose fast in the begining. I lost 6 lbs in prconditioning and got down to 140 or loosing 24 lbs but have put 10 back on. I will get there its just taking longer than I, or he, thought.

Top that with stomach problems the last week and I just didn't want to hear all the crap... no one does.

Thanks so much for all of the kind words and encouragement. I have gotten so much from this site and all of you!

Here's to a loss this week...