People who expect perfection can “get stuck in dichotomous thinking that you’re fat or you’re perfect, and there’s no gray area in between,” says psychologist Leslie Heinberg, who counsels bariatric patients at the Cleveland Clinic. “So if you’re not perfect, you’re ‘fat.’”
I think this is soo true - and maybe part of the reason we have such a big weight issue in this country. You get the feeling, watching tv and movies, that the standard for a good figure is so high, that you may as well give up.
I wish we could find a way to recognize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
I agree Aurora. Sometimes when we think about a goal and see it as unaitainable we just give up.
What we need to figure out is what is perfect for ourselves.
Sure, I'd love to look like some of these celebrity girls, but the reality is my body is shaped differently and they get paid to workout all day and have people deliver healthy meals to them.
I think people sometimes see themselves as they were. When I was heavy, I thought I was thin. Now that I'm thinner, I think that I'm fatter. And I always think of myself as younger than I am.
this is so true for me. earlier this year for graduation i was buying my outfit and picked out an NZ/AUS size 14 top. The sales assistant was like "oh no, you will never get into that...take a 12 and a 10". I was like, haha that will never fit but it did. but in my mind it still looks like a 14. arg it drives you nuts
My mind still hasn't adjusted to the 65lbs that I have lost. I go shopping and I pick out clothes too big. I always feel like I'm 10x bigger than I was. It is really frustrating.
I think that my biggest problem sometimes is that I am in denial about how overweight I really am. Sure I know that I'm overweight but I sort of fool myself into thinking that I'm not that bad. Then I realize that I literally weight over 100 pounds more than I should and I look at my 7 year old nephew and think that I need to lose TWO of him (weight wise) to be where I should be and reality sets in. I wonder what it will be like when I lose the weight? Because now I'm 20 pounds down and I know I've lost weight because the clothes are getting bigger on me but I don't feel any thinner.
I think that my biggest problem sometimes is that I am in denial about how overweight I really am. Sure I know that I'm overweight but I sort of fool myself into thinking that I'm not that bad.
This is kind of where I was. Yeah, my scale said 224, but I was still wearing the same clothes, so it couldn't have been that bad, right? Yeah, wrong. Even now I'm like well, I look okay in my clothes...I guess...I think my problem is I never looked differently to myself. My brain saw 224 lb me the same as it saw 150lb me - and that's a huge a$$ difference.
Its hard for me to "picture" myself thin, or what I would consider thin. I'm terrified that I'll get to goal and still see a fat blob - like I did when I was actually thin.
jcourtney - I did the same thing. I kept thinking,"Oh I'm not that over weight and I'm perfect the way I am". I've had people(Guys) tell me the main reason they didn't want to start anything with me is my weight...and I always thought well to bad for them.. sure I felt bad for awhile but then I got over it..usually by eating some sort of comfort food which didn't help me out.
But, when I saw the pictures of me trying on a possible wedding dress... trying on a shirt I really wanted but it looked bad... working in a salon surrounded by mirrors... and realized that both my mom and dad are borderline diabetic... and finally admitting to myself that I am 100lbs overweight...I have to do something.
Wow. That's the first time I've actually admitted all of that.
Thanks, the part about being disappointed that you still aren't "perfect" really hit home. That's my biggest fear about losing weight - that it won't change the way I perceive myself.
I worry I'll never be able to see myself without 'phantom fat'. Everyone tells me I look great and yeah, from where I was to now I can agree I look better but I still have a waaaaaays to go, I think.
My proportions are pretty similar now to what they were when I was 30lbs heavier. So I still look the same to myself. My mom has the same body type as me, but she weights 117lbs, and looks like two grapes and a cantaloupe on a stick. So I'm afraid I'll always have a big abdomen in relation to my boobs, and it makes me feel really fat to see that tire around my hips that I'll never get rid of.
An article about "phantom fat"/ body perception
for Britt and everyone else too 
