I'm always concerned what people think when they haven't seen me in a long time because I have always gained weight, never lost until now. But now I feel good because I'm losing and I'm not worried about that nowadays.
But last week I ran into a friend who gained nearly 50lbs since I saw her 6months ago!! It was so shocking and obvious that I didn't know what to say. She told me that I look great and that I've lost a ton of weight but I didn't know how to reply in kind so I just said thank you.
What do you say when a friend gains weight quickly and suddenly?
Height: 5 ft 8.5" athlete who can give a punch & certainly take one too! :)
What do you say when a friend gains weight quickly and suddenly?[/QUOTE]
I would choose to say nothing! I'm pretty sure YOU would not want to hear anything either, if YOU had gained the weight!
Besides, she is fully aware of her gain, no need to make her feel worse.....
Last edited by evilwomaniamshe; 08-21-2009 at 07:50 AM.
I'm with evilwoman, no matter how close this person is to you, don't say ANYTHING about her weight gain to her. EVER. Unless she asks for your help. Regardless of how "nicely" you put it, she will always think of you as that rude friend who told her she gained weight. Put yourself in her shoes, and imagine how you would feel if she mentioned something to you about the weight you gained. Best to let it be, she most likely knows it but it's her problem to realize.
oh goodness, I'm with the other two! I would have been mortified if someone commented on my rapid weight gain back when I ballooned up over 200 lbs. You never know the reasons behind someone's weight gain (mine was largely fueled by depression and having a long commute for work).
My parents tended to comment on my weight gain. I know (for me) I need to remember that just because I have lost weight doesn't give me a license to comment on other's weights, ya know?
I have to agree with everyone above. It would really bother me if a friend was even in a very nice way saying that I have gained weight. Most popele who gain know they have and don't need to be told. Just hope she does something about it before it becomes more and more.
Unless it was my BFF I wouldn't say anything either. You just never know the circumstances, maybe a death & dealing with depression, maybe conceiving issues those meds tend to whack a woman's body out.... it's just dangerous ground.
My Mother always said, "Personal remarks are never in good taste" and weight gain is very personal. Don't even THINK of saying anything or she will be very hurt.
I think you made the right choice by just saying "Thank you."
If you had tried to find something else to compliment her on (hair, make-up, etc) she might have gotten offended anyway. I can imagine a lot of people I know reacting poorly to that... like you're trying to pretend you don't notice her weight, or you're complimenting her in spite of her weight gain.
You're at an advantage here because you've been on the other side of this situation. What have people said to you that made you feel bad? What have they said/done that was respectful and kind?
What do you say when a friend gains weight quickly and suddenly?
You say nothing. And hope that no one else mentions it either.
Now since she did mention YOUR weight loss, I would have said *perhaps*, depending on how comfortable you are, something like, "thank you. It's been a lot of work, but totally worth it!". Leaving the door for HER to say something. If not, not.
Like the others, I would have been horribly embarrassed if someone brought up my weight, even if I hadn't gained it recently. My family's culture tends to speak very openly about weight, and it's not unusual for us to be greeted by a family member or friend with, You got a little fatter since last time, or something along those lines. And of course, it's never meant as an insult, but it's hard not to get upset when feel your weight is personal. So even if you have the best of intentions, I think you're better off not mentioning it unless she brings it up first.
I have to agree that to say nothing is best. I've gained a lot quickly and also dreaded running into people I hadn't seen for a long time. It's always such a huge relief when it isn't mentioned. I'v gotten the dreaded, are you expecting question (and I'm not). One skinny lady at work actually said, "oh, would it really be that bad"... is she for real?! Ya, wouldn't be bad at all if I was ACTUALLY pregers. Whatever. Very good decision to just say thank you
What to say when others gain weight?
