If I hear that one more time, I am going to scream
I am in no way trying to be at an unhealthy weight, but come on.... I am still close to 200lbs!!! So many people have told me that I don't need to lose any more weight--- that I will disappear into nothing!! I am the biggest pile of nothing that I have ever seen
I just don't get it. I have to think that it is because I am not as big as I used to be and people aren't used to seeing me at this size. But, I am still very close to 200lbs and wear a size 16 in jeans (I can fit into some 14's now though )
I wonder if this is how anorexics feel when people tell them they are too skinny---- I wonder what people will say once I actually get to my goal weight. I could understand if I wanted to weigh 100lbs at 5'10, but that is NOT the case at all.
I just needed to vent--- this is very frustrating when people are looking at me like I am doing something wrong in trying to lose more weight.
I'm sorry people keep telling you to stop...but you are right....you aren't asking to be a bean pole...just healthy...you should tell them that. Good luck!
I save comments from the diet police by never telling them I am on a diet.They will notice a weight loss eventually. When they start to make comments like you are getting I just try to steer the conversation to something else. Poor things we must feel sorry for these people who feel compelled to comment on our weight, it seems to be a compulsion. They just can't seem to be able to keep from making unwanted comments. Try to ignore them!
I think it's just a matter of their perception of you. They are used to seeing you at a higher weight, and that is what they have intrepreted in their minds as "normal" for you to look like. As you lose weight, your appearance starts to change, and what is now "normal" for you is not what they have ever known for you before.
I think it's very similar to so many of us who lose weight and look in the mirror and don't see any changes. Our brains are stuck on what we expect to see because that's what we've always seen before.
I believe if these people were just meeting you right now and you said you were trying to lose weight, they would be fine with it. But because they've known you larger, you're already much smaller than they are used to seeing. I honestly don't think they have any ill intent--it's just that change is hard for a lot of people, and for you to go from being a fat friend/coworker/family member/acquaintance to a thin one is sometimes hard to handle. They'll catch up with you in time
I do NOT tell people that I am on a diet, but when I wear specific things, my weight loss is obvious. The people I am referring too, have said these things on their own--- we won't even be talking about food or weight loss. They come up to me and say... "Girl, you are disappearing--- you need to stop losing weight!!!"
Our numbers are kinda close and at 166 I'm hearing this on a constant basis. It really does suck and it's only going to tick you off more as you go along. I'm a size 10 now and can't count the times I've been told I'm getting too thin.
I simply do not discuss my weight with anybody other than my husband. I just don't participate in the discussion. At some point people start to feel awkward and move on to another subject.
I do wonder, though, when normal became so shocking that people feel the need to comment on it.
Geez Louise, Redeemed, what kind of crowd do you hang with? Anyone I know who ever notices or thinks I've lost weight is PLEASED with it! Wisecrack a bit; say something like "You say 'I'm losing weight' like it's a bad thing!"
Man, that must be frustrating! I agree with the suggestion that people have a mental image of you, and that maybe if they're feeling thrown by the fact that REAL you is thinner than this mental image.
But I also think that for a lot of people, especially women (but not only women), there may be a lot of personal stuff there. I mean THEIR personal stuff. Like that they feel obscurely threatened by the fact that you're making such a change to your physical self - this can make people feel insecure about THEIR OWN appearance, or else it can simply make them worry that you, and their relationship with you, is changing. Like you're no longer the familiar you, and they're maybe having to change some of their perceptions/preconceptions/whatever about the dynamic between the two of you.
..er, or I could be talking crap, you know. But often this stuff is actually about the other person feeling threatened, rather than about them feeling concern/compassion.
(OTOH, if people have had experience with friends having eating disorders, it may be a reflexive thing - if they don't realise that you're becoming healthier, and doing it in a sensible and controlled way, they may just be conditioned to have the 'Oh crap!' response to seeing a loved one becoming thinner.)
FUNNY...my husband (which our marriage is extremely estranged right now...long story) anyway actually called me last week, now come on ladies i'm only 6lbs down so far....to inform me that I was getting skinny and he liked a woman with something to hold
I'm thinking "OH YEA, ALL YOUR PREVIOUS WOMEN INCLUDING THOSE SINCE WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED...ARE A SIZE FREAKIN TWO YOU IDIOT"
so I guess he was complimenting me? or actually i'm not to sure.........
I'm not loosing weight to please him...not my motive so I didn't really care
AND OH HE IS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS COMMENTS TO SAY ABOUT PEOPLE OVERWEIGHT.....
Height: Tall enough for my feet to reach the ground
I heard that alot also, I never told anyone I was "dieting", but my DH knew (obviously). I had lost about 50lbs and still have 20 to go and whenever anyone sees me they say I shouldn't lose anymore weight...now I know I am MUCH smaller than I was, and I am MUCH healthier than I was, but I still have about 20lbs to go! I, too, and not asking to be 110lbs, by any means. I would like 150 though! I was at 135 once and OMG, sadly, I did look anorexic! So I know not to go that LOW, but 150-155 is a good healthy weight for me.
So when people tell you that, just say thank you for the compliment and do not discuss your ultimate goal of XXX lbs. I would just say something like "thanks, I feel a lot better, and I know I am on the road to being a healthier me". (end of discussion!)
What I hate is when people come up to you...and they're like... "you're so skinny!" ......I look at them, and I'm like 200lbs...what do you mean I'm skinny?!?! I just hate that comment. Or at work, they call me "skinny minny"...sometimes I think they're making fun of the fact that I'm losing weight. I've lost about 40lbs since February. I work out almost daily and watch what I eat...but I hate when they tell me I'm "skinny" when we all know I'm not.
I get this sometimes too, and while it's slightly annoying, I've decided to treat it as they want to say something complimentary so I know they've noticed, but they just don't have any tact or any idea how to say they've noticed. I do think that in these cases most people do mean well. I have found that the best way to respond is smile halfheartedly and change the subject. I also like StillTryin's suggested response.
Our numbers are kinda close and at 166 I'm hearing this on a constant basis. It really does suck and it's only going to tick you off more as you go along. I'm a size 10 now and can't count the times I've been told I'm getting too thin.
I simply do not discuss my weight with anybody other than my husband. I just don't participate in the discussion. At some point people start to feel awkward and move on to another subject.
I do wonder, though, when normal became so shocking that people feel the need to comment on it.
Dag... I can't imagine what the heck they will do if I get down to where you are---- They will probably have an intervention for me, trying to stuff big macs and burritos down my throat.
Good job on your weight loss, your numbers are very impressive!!
Geez Louise, Redeemed, what kind of crowd do you hang with? Anyone I know who ever notices or thinks I've lost weight is PLEASED with it! Wisecrack a bit; say something like "You say 'I'm losing weight' like it's a bad thing!"
hahahaha They are pretty normal in other situations They really seem like they are genuinely concerned. I just don't get it though
Don't lose any more weight!!!
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This Will Kill You
