Welcome to 3fc. My advice would be to take what works for you, release the rest, and not worry so much about what other people need to post or vent. This place is very positive. It is also very safe, and may be one of the few outlets for some of us....and I believe that people should feel free to post what they like.
Rainbowsmiles - thanks for taking the time to write some positive thoughts, bravo to you! Congrats on your 31 lbs. -- keep on going, girl! With your attitude, I am sure you will reach your goals. Enjoyed the ABC's and the other poem, and am printing them out. Michele
Rainbow, I agree that positivity is wonderful and we will all be happier if we look for the upside to any situation. I, myself, make it a policy to be around positive people and to be as happy as possible, and I do avoid consistently negative people and situations.
I love that you are so positive. It's a breath of fresh air.
The problem with message boards is that you really can't dictate or control what other people can/cannot post about, as long as the posting fits within the guidelines set by the administrators.
You may not need to vent or work through sad/unhappy/frustrated feelings, but others do, and find this a good place to work through them. Others find being real healthier than putting on a Miss Sunshine face when they're not feeling it. I'm a fan of supporting whatever works for each of us, be it eating plan or way to work through feelings or difficult situations.
I have to admit that I understand where you are coming from, rainbowsmiles. I have read some posts and been concerned about the negativity. But I also agree with midwife - that this may be the only place that some peole feel confident in venting thier negative thoughts. Sometimes, once you get them out, you don't feel them anymore. AND I think that it is important that you continue to post your positive thoughts - many of us here are counting on your (and others) happy attitude to help us through our ups and downs.
Speaking of being positive - you made me think of this poem that has helped me when I ahve been down on myself:
I am ME
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. I have some parts like others but I don't add up to be exactly like anyone else. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.
I own everything about me -- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the image of all my eyes behold; my feelings, whatever they may be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all that comes out of it....words, polite, sweet, or rough....correct and incorrect; my voice, loud or soft; and all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. I own all my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. Being very well acquainted with me, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts.
In being well-acquainted with myself, loving myself, and being friendly with myself, I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know that there are aspects about myself I do not know, and there are parts of me that puzzle me.
As long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solution to the puzzles and continually look for ways to find out more about me -- how I look and sound, what I say and do, and how I think and feel.
No one else looks and sounds, says and does, and thinks and feels exactly like me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment is me. It is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, parts may turn out to be unfitting and I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting and learn something new for that which I discarded.
I am me and I am okay.
I own me and therefore I can engineer me.
I can learn all the new things that I need and discard all the things that no longer fit.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I will then have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I wholeheartedly agree that our attitude about life & things that happen during life is the SINGLE thing we can change and the SINGLE thing that matters most.
Here on 3FC, I find there are many, many positive postings. NSV postings, Goal & Mini-goal sections. Humorous things over in General Chat, even little happy things people want to share with all of us throughout various boards.
However, people do have problems, and sometimes we all need a little help to figure something out, or to even see the silver lining of that big dark cloud hanging over us. I enjoy the freedom 3FC gives everyone to be able to vent a little anonymously without fear. I enjoy that the responses from people usually are upbeat or encouraging regarding what to do. Everyone can use a little encouragement, some of us just need to get it through a swift kick in the pants
Also, I enjoy reading your posts, because they stay happily etched in my mind. You're so friendly, and even through cyberspace your shining, positive attitude radiates! I can almost feel the shine! Keep upbeat I love it.
Hope you don't mind me posting here... I just wanted to add that although I always try to look at the sunny side of life; if all I ever read when I came to 3FC was posts about sunshine and rainbows, I don't think I'd get the same benefit out of it as I do now.
I like knowing that I'm not alone in my struggles and that others here understand the difficulty of juggling weight-loss with all the other demands and responsibilities we have.
Knowing that others have struggles and then seeing them succeed makes me feel like I can do it to. It also makes their accomplishments that much sweeter.
Now I'm going to print off your ABC's and stick it on the fridge - love them!
I spent most of my life hiding my negative emotions. There seemed an unwritten rule that to be accepted "fat girls" were supposed to make up for the social handicap of being fat by being ever cheerful, ever supportive, always the person who could be counted on, never the person who asks anything of anyone else. My family was very open with emotions (for good or bad), and while I could be that way at home to a degree. I was always a little embarassed that my mother and grandmother especially, were so emotional (up and down). My mother often accused my friends of "using me," (sometimes to their face, which mortified me, though at times she was probably right) because I was always so "nice" even when people mistreated me.
My husband was raised in a family which was hostile in private and the perfect family in public. He spent his childhood having to "put on a happy face," (with dire consequences threatened if family secrets were revealed.)
He reacted by being the opposite as an adult. Positive or negative, his thoughts are right out there for the world to see. He is frustrated with me often because I still find it very difficult to share negative emotions until they have festered. We're one of the rare couples in which the wife has the problem "communicating."
Online, I am braver, and more eloquent (I think). I can share things that I wouldn't share with anyone else. Some of those things are negative. Sometimes "pity parties" are necessary release for people who in their "real" lives are always taking care of others, and want to have someone say "it's ok, we've been there, and felt that before too."
I can find fair weather friends anywhere. There are countless people I can share "happy thoughts" with in my real life. Heck, strangers on the street. I think this very much is the place to bring burdens, because if not here, then where? Not everyone wants or needs therapy (or have been through it or currently undergoing it, and still wants feedback from people not paid to give it).
I really don't see much negativity here at all. Sure there is some, but even though this is a "virtual" world, it is a world filled with real people. Real people have real pain, and sometimes need to share it. Even if it isn't rational, sometimes especially if it isn't rational.
“A joy shared is doubled; A grief shared is halved.”
Hi Rainbow, I bet if you started a new thread titled something like "what inspires you?" or "motivational tidbits" or something like that you'd get what your looking for
Hi Rainbow, I bet if you started a new thread titled something like "what inspires you?" or "motivational tidbits" or something like that you'd get what your looking for
Yes...I agree! It wasn't clear that you wanted only these types of things, so naturally we posted our point of view! I'd like an inspirational thread too though.
Boy this certainly is a mix of comments. I might as well comment too
Negativity breeds negativity. We all have struggles - I too can be overwhelmed by continued negative posts and just retreat and don't post. I think for me there is a difference when someone who is struggling is asking for help or someone who is admittedly having a little whine. My personal issue comes when suggestions and advice are offered and the next post is a different negative comment. We are here both to support each other and gain support of others - hopefully from the advice others offer openly when they think they can offer some help.
We each have choices to make in our lives - we can chose to blame others, make excuses, etc OR we can chose to make a decision to better ourselves, be accountable for our situation and then chose to begin the journey to change it.
Did anyone see the e-mail going around with the motto for 2008 Girlfriends - hope not to offend here -
Put on your big girl panties and deal with it
I'm sure this is not a popular response and should have simply said - I second the inspirational thread - which I do.
Arggghhhh Stop The Negativity Pleeeeasee ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Love and light to all.
Michele
to help us through our ups and downs.
