Eleni,
How was the movie yesterday? What did you and Bill go to see? I can't believe you went to the movies on christmas you guys are too funny. I am so glad that you will only have a little gain. Hey you might just maintain this week. Wouldn't that be great. You have been doing a great job on plan. I am so proud of you. Keep up the great work. I am glad you had fun with the family. I am also so glad to hear the upbeatness in your voice this time of year. You have come a long way and at least you aren't so down on yourself like you were. That kind of attitude really helps when you are trying to change things about yourself.
Claire,
I am so sorry about what you are going through. Is there anyway you could sit down with your husband and just explain how you are feeling and let him know in no uncertain terms that he really isn't helping you that he is only making it worse. That if he really wants to help you then he will support you and to do that for a start he could cook lower fat foods for at least you if he doesn't want to do it for him. That will give him more food to make if he likes cooking that much. Let him know that your parents did what he is doing to you now and that is half your problem. You have to be given room. I think it is great that you have the food mover. I know it will work for you. Explain to him how that works and that it is just like writing everything down. Sometimes men are so stupid and they just don't think. They never have to worry about their weight and it makes me sick. You really need to work through this somehow if you are going to make any headway at changing your lifestyle. But it won't happen with your husband always down your throat.
My husband used to force me to eat food all the time. Well not literally force me but would keep telling me to eat things that I knew were not good for me. He did it all the time and I honestly don't think he knew he was doing it. Finally I told him that he had to stop that and he said I don't do that. I explained how important it was for me to lose this weight and that I needed his support that I couldn't do it alone. That it would be the only thing in my life that I accomplish by myself and I need to do it so I can know that I can accomplish something on my own to stand up for me and do this for me just because I want to. Everyone always walks all over me and it is because I let them. It is my own fault but I hate confrontation so I take it and just let it happen. I need to know for me that I can stand up for what I want and do it. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do other then get my husband.
I was even too patient for that also. I took a lot of hardache for that also. But I made it through with the grace of god and here we are happy at last with a beautiful little girl and a great life together. No things are not always perfect and we have a major downfall when it comes to him drinking but other then that I accepted him for who he is and I won't change him. Not that he could be changed anyway. But you have to stand up for yourself claire. I know it will be hard. If you are anything like myself you will shock your husband when you stand up to him and tell him the way it is going to be. You will be a nervous wreck at first but when it is all said and done you will have accomplished so much and it was for you. If you don't stand up for what you want to accomplish and do for you then no on else will. It is your body and your life and you can do with it as you please. You know what you want to do but you have to do it your way or you will never get there. You can't reach your goal when someone is making those demands on you. It makes you farther away from you goal because you get stressed out, mad, angry, and you push your true feelings deep within you and you eat to hide them. You need to get them out so you can start to heal and deal with the weight problem in your own way with or without your husbands help. But he needs to be toned down and to understand what you are truly going through. It is possible he thinks he is helping you when he is not.
I will be praying for you to have the strength and courage you need to get through this. If your husband loves you he will understand. But it won't be easy getting to that point. Take it one step at a time. Remember we are all here for you in any way you need us. Just ask.
I had a great day yesterday. My husband stayed sober this year and it was great. Last year we were both so upset with flooding a week before christmas that it ruined our christmas. My husband got drunk christmas eve and I told him I would kill him if he ever did that again. This year he was sober the whole time and we all had a great time. We spent the day here most of it. Then went to my parents on christmas eve and then went back up for 3 hours yesterday to open all of our gifts with my family. It is such a huge crew when we all get together. There is a total of 20 of us. So the house was packed full with people and presents. But it was fun. Then we came home had our ham dinner and went to johns mom's house and his brothers. We didn't get home until 9:30 last night. It was tireing but nice. Megan is exhausted and made out like a bandit between santa, my parents and the aunts and uncles. We are going to her god mother's house tonight to have christmas up there. They have a ton of presents for megan to open tonight up there. Then our christmas is over.
I got a gift certificate for the spa and I have until feb to use it. So I have to lose my 20 lbs before then in order to go. I won't go until I have met that goal. So I have to get busy with it. I have been real good in the food dept. I had more food yesterday then I have in a week from being sick. But today I am back on track and I will only have dinner tonight at my friends house and I had some oatmeal this morning. So I should be okay. We have a whole box of different cookies that were given to us but my husband is going to take them to work to get rid of them. I didn't make any desserts yesterday because I didn't have the money. But it was just as well so they weren't here for me to eat. I had dessert at my parents house last night.
Well I hope everyone else here had a great christmas. Now we can get a jump start on the new year by staying on plan and doing well. This is going to be a great year I can tell. There will be some people here that will make their goals sometime this year I know. We are all here to help each other and we can do this together.
Sherri
Wednesday
I'm Getting Busy!
