So, my hubby is on mandatory PT now for failing a PRT. For all you non-military types, that means he has to work out with an instructor 3 times a week at 5:45 in the morning because he failed a physical readiness test. He is about 40lbs overweight right now. Today I talked to him, and he was raving about the good time he had working out, and how good it felt, and how much he is actually going to enjoy it. And I know he'll drop weight like crazy from it, while I struggle so hard with mine. And then there is the fact that he went fishing Saturday night with friends and is going on a free military appreciation fishing trip tomorrow all day. I'm so jealous... I have to work out by myself, because he won't run with me or skate with me in the evenings, and I can't afford to join a gym or Curves. I can go to the base gym by myself in the evenings, and have started doing that, but there is usually no one there at the time I go other than the person working. I have no real friends here, just acquaintances, and the ones I have asked if they want to jog, or go to the gym hate that kind of thing. I stay home with 2-3 kids all day, and the dog, and then when he gets home, he gets straight on the computer. He doesn't even watch TV with me anymore because he does that all day at work. I feel so wrong to be jealous, but I just want to have someone to do something with, too. I love my kids, and taking them to the playground, etc is fun, but the only adults I interact with lately are you guys. Sorry for the sorry for myself post, just needed to vent.
I completely understand. You aren't wrong to be jealous. This may be a dumb question but have you told him that you want him to hang with you in the evenings? Men can be dense at times.
I think it's time to sit down and talk with your husband and let him know you are feeling ignored and neglected. I can only imagine how tough being a military wife is... just being a wife is hard enough! Seems like the only thing you can do is talk to him and get him to understand you need some adult interaction and you'd like it to be with him.
I have unfortunately had this discussion enough times that I feel like I am talking to myself about it. He's under the impression that him being home at night is good enough, I guess. The fishing trips aren't so bad, the one tomorrow is a one off kind of thing, and the other night was something that he doesn't do that frequently. He is usually home, but his idea of hanging out is for me to watch him play guild wars, and then he'll tell me what's happening on it, or if one of the people on there says something funny.. I just had this same discussion with him again, and now he's pissy at me, because I said that I felt like he doesn't want to spend time with me, cuz he's on the computer from when he comes home until after I go to bed, and he didn't even answer... so then I got annoyed, and he says "What?" At which point I have to tell him that answering me with either, No, I don't want to be around you, or Of course I do, would have been a good thing. So, he's pissy now, and I'm still in a bad mood, lol.
There's a huge difference between being at home with the same person and actually spending time interacting in a meaningful way. If he is being that dense you might want to find other activities in the evenings and he can look after the kids. Not just the gym though perhaps you could talk one of the other moms into going with you in the evening, maybe she'd like some time away from the kids as well. No, I mean maybe there is something you could do off the base, taking a class at a college or something like that, piano lessons, a part-time job etc just so you are talking to other adults. I remember the same feeling when I had my son and was on maternity leave, I'd be having long conversations with grocery store clerks or would take my son to work just to talk to my friends there.
Ok, not married or even in a relationship, but rather than just telling you feel neglected why not say honey on Wednesday night I want to go to the movies? or I want to take a walk around the base. I think if you offer him something to do it might help. Hope I haven't talked out of place.
Although my job depends on the computer and there are great things to be seen (ie this forum), I think it can truly be an evil thing. I have limited my kids on how often they can be on the computer because I find it horrifying just how much time can be wasted by playing games. Sure, they can be entertaining, but what a waste of time. My BIL is the same way with playing computer games. My sister doesn't seem to mind, but I would be crazy if that happened all the time.
I don't know how long you have been married, but I'm just past 20 years with my hubby. Although he isn't into computers at all, he is MR. TV REMOTE CONTROL! We have had to talk about him flipping from channel to channel when there is absolutely nothing on! Can we please just turn it off???!!! Anyway, the reason I mention it is because for a long time I felt that we wasted a lot of time just staring at the TV. It got to the point that we didn't talk at all. That leads to everyone being unhappy. Not that it was the whole issue, but it helped lead us to being separated for a few months. You can't just let it go and ignore it. You'll continue to get more and more depressed, and that just isn't good. If I were you, I'd keep discussing it for as long as it takes.
Kinda OT - Vent
