Hi Eleni,
I think I hear the pain in your post, and I wish I could give you a big hug and some shoulders to lean on. My dear, you are such a wonderful person and I hate to see you so down. There are no 'magic pills'....only perserverence....and the attitude that you have always expressed to others.....NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Take some deep breaths....proceed with baby steps. If you are like me at all, the more I stress about how I 'must' lose, the more I gain and go out of control. Our minds are interesting organs and many times, they get us in trouble. The more I talk with people, the more it helps. Of course, they have to understand the situation or be associated with it. In the past when I have really been on a 'self destruct' mode, I had to seek out professional counselors and take an antidepressant for awhile. It was scarey at first, but it was amazing how my self esteem improved and it helped me move forward in my life. Do you think anything like this might help? I hope I haven't offended you, but I care about you Eleni. Thought you might be interested in the following story that I heard today at our Rally......
......There was a woman who received an award for losing more than 30 pounds from Jan-July. She is approx 5'1", in her 60's, and had a difficult time walking but did make it to the front of the room slowly a few times to pick up her awards. When she joined TOPS, she weighed close to 300lbs and couldn't walk at all....in a wheelchair. She crawled up on stage the first time she ever got an award in TOPS and she vowed that she was never going to give up!!! [by this time alot of us had tears in our eyes...sniff, sniff] She hasn't given up and has lost about 80 lbs so far. She uses a walker when she has a longer distance to walk....but we were all so proud of her walking under her own power....knowing how far she has come. What an inspiration coming from someone who truly was disabled physically.
She opened my eyes today.... and if my relating this can help just one person realize that it is not hopeless to lose the weight and get healthier, then I'm thrilled. Yes, it is work and something we need to keep striving for, but the rewards are worth it. Hold up that beautiful head of yours, put a smile on your face, and know that we all are worth it!! Eleni, I'll hold your hand and be first in line with you. :-)
TOPS Hugs,
Summer
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