OK, now what's everybodies excuse for not being here today? Mine is that I have been on ebay guarding my items. I have been bidding on this for after school and 2 of them end today. Talk about nerve racking.

I tried those no pudge brownies the other day and holy moly those things are good. I think I might just have to keep a few boxes in the pantry.

What is everyone up to today?

Hi Kempy I made this big long post this am and pushed submit and it was gone! ugh! Yes I did have chili over pasta last night. We will also add it if we make it soup like not thick. Sounds like you are really getting the stuff you need from ebay to set up shop. I never even think of ebay for buying and selling but I guess there are some pretty good deals on there. I would love to lose 10lbs Kempy. Are you eating alot less than you use to being on those pills or are they like a fiber kind of pill?

Noelle great job on the run/walk. That is far. I don't even know if I am in shape to do 2-4 miles.

Hello fellow snow bunny Angie. Hope you are having a great day. And Hi to everyone else.

Tonya are you out there yet?

Julie

Aloha Ladies!

Hope everyone had a wonderful and romantic weekend...hee hee. I saved all my fat and carb allowances for a great dinner at Donato's. I did, though, go overboard on the wine. Almost had the whole bottle if I didn't stop myself. I paid for it the next day though. Afterward, we went to go watch 50 First Dates. That movie was so hilarious! If you haven't watched it already, I would definitely recommend it. My only complaint was that Rob Schneider's portrayl of a pidgin-talkin Hawaiian was more Mexican than it was local.

Noelle - I missed you yesturday and boy am I aching today! I actually just walked the whole way since Kel was with me. After we reach the 7th mile, we were about to die! It was only the walk around the stadium that actually killed me. We got in at 2:15. What color were you? I estimated a little too much on our time so I put us in the pink category. Couldn't believe those runner though. They were still running after the race!

Kempy - I got into Ebay last year and got a little obsessed with it. After bidding and winning so much junk, I decided to try and sell some of my stuff. Can't believe what kind of stuff people actually buy. I sold all my old cell phones complete with scratches on them, my old laptop that didn't work, two cameras I don't use since getting a digital one and a bunch of old car stuff. Made quite a bit of money on it, which was good.

Julie - I'm having a hard time with carbs too. I had to have white rice with my barbeque plate yesturday after the race. I love white rice and pasta and of course bread. I think since I'm filipino I was raised to eat a lot of rice and very little of anything else. Since I've been on so many diets, I think I screwed up my metabolism so much that what ever carbs I eat goes straight to my butt!

Angie - I feel yah - we're all inclined to destructive eating behaviors or else we wouldn't be here. I'm such an emotional eater too, I tend to eat the way I feel. I just try and get my mind off of it and know that I have one year to lose this weight. Just hang in there...you can do it!

Cal - Hope your three day weekend was good. I know the racing scene it pretty popular in Arizona too. A lot of the military guys are into it here. Just wish that they could do it on the race track where its safer. I hate freeways too!

Anna - Hope your feeling better! Just drink a lot of fluids but stay away from the soda!

Alohas to everyone else. Back to feeling sore and typing away at my desk. Have a great rest of the day!

Hi girls. Sorry I wasnt on today, my computer was screwed up and it said it was April of 9999!! I think I got it fixed.

I have been eating so badly. It is making me so depressed that I just eat more. I can feel the cycle starting all over again and I am afraid I wont snap back to my senses until I hit 200 again. I feel like such a failure.

Hey girls. I hate these Tuesday's that feel like Mondays. It's been one helluva a hectic day. To top it off there's a family email all-out war going on between one or two of my sisters and my stupid BIL whom none of us can stand...and although I'm not directly involved (but I'm getting the blow-by-blow account of it all delivered in my inbox) it's giving me stress! Anyway, blood is thicker than water eh? I'm on the side of my sisters of course, this guy can take a hike. I won't get into it further but I really don't need this right now. We didn't do much on V-day, but I did get a ton of laundry done and I washed and waxed my car by hand by myself. How's that for romantic? NOT!

Hey Jacks, congrats on completing the race! It was fun wasn't it? I haven't done it in 9 years and boy, I forgot how much fun it could be. The weather was so great I didn't even really break a sweat since we were mostly walking under that freeway overpass. I already have plans to do it again next year.

((((Angie)))) Cheer up girl, you are most definitely NOT a failure. I know how discouraged you feel right now. I'm in the same boat. I've been hitting 174 for what, the 3rd time now? And I only need to lose another 1.5 lbs to reach my freakin' 10% goal, but what do I do? Go out of my way to buy myself some ice cream bars, chocolate candy, whatever it is I THINK I deserve to eat then I'm right back up to 178 again and again and again. I think I've been in the 170's since November! All we can do is try and try again. I didn't have the most healthy breakfast this morning, but I am going to make sure I get my exercise in this evening. I will try again tomorrow to get the eating part right and so will you. I'm with ya girl, hang on!

Kempy so did you win your bids? I've bought a ton of stuff from ebay and even sold a few things. I try to stay away from it now though, as it can be addictive. I'd rather hang out here with you guys where it's free, well, sort of. I've had those no-pudge brownies before, yum! It's too bad we don't have Trader Joe's here in HI, at least that's where I know you can get them, huh? You lucky girl, sounds like you had a nice romantic night with Joe.

Julie, I specifically asked for just a card, no chocolates, just a card--and that's just what I got, so I'm happy. I would've definitely eaten the entire box of chocolates if I'd gotten one

Holly, sorry to hear about your mom and hope she's better soon. Here's a hug for mom and you and the whole non-ordeal with V-day and your hubby. We love ya.

Anna, hope you're feeling better soon. How'd the WuShu go?

Hello to Cal, Donna, Tonya...everyone. Have a great evening.

Can my excuse be that I was sleeping? *grin*

I'm back in healthy land, at least mostly. I still have a nagging cough that comes up when I talk too much, or when I'm trying to sleep. I hate the trying to sleep bit. And no cola! I think it's now been a week since I last had sweet sweet caffeine. Oh, how I miss you, sweet sweet caffeine.

I've also started reading a lot of diet/weightloss/excersize/let's get fit blogs. Which sadly does not get my rump moving. I must stop doing that for hours at a time. Maybe if I move the monitor so it's higher, and I can read standing up? Or I should just set a time limit. I'm using a lot of this time to do some self-awareness checks. Realizing why I was so unhappy, why I was ruining my life before I came here. What was making me so miserable back home that I actually thought, "Yes, I'll go to China. It'll be better." (As a note: Don't go teach overseas to run away from your problems. Voice of experience.) So, yeah. I've decided when I get home I have to set a limit on the amount of time I spent online. It just sucks me in and turns me into a zombie. I didn't have t.v. at home, I had a computer.

Angie, I wish I could give you some advice about the foodstuff. The only thing I can think of is just take it one day, or even one morning at a time. Just say to yourself, "For 24 hours, I will eat healthy." Make it something simple, something you know you can attain. You've done it before. Just try and take it as a day, or a few hours, or an afternoon.

Anna

I feel like we are having a repeat of yesterday here. Anna good one, I forget that you are so far ahead of us in time difference.

Ya know Anna I have been thinking about doing the same things that you are. I need to figure out what it is that is making me eat or become depressed. I am tired of not solving the situation just making it worse. Tell me some of the things that you are doing to help.

Angie, honey, we all love you here. I hate to hear you talk like that. I wish I was close enough to give you a hug. I think you need to do what Anna said. Tell yourself you are going to make it through this one morning. I think once you feel how great it is to succeed you will keep doing it. I hope you pop in more. I miss you.

Noelle when we wash and wax our car it rains. Does it do that out there too? I tell Joe to stop washing the trucks sometimes. I get sick of not being able to get out in my yard for fear of sinking. I got all of my stuff. The auctions ended yesterday. I think I have everything I need except for the machine. Of course that is the main part. I have to get that through school so I can get a break on the price. You are right it is very addictive. Now that I have gotten all of my stuff I keep getting back onto the site to see if I can find anything else I need. Sunday after I cleaned the carpets I was on the looking for a cleaner to buy. I really don't need one of those things. I just can't stop shopping. The thrill of winning is what gets me.

I am trying to clear off my desk today. I have had the same pile of papers sitting here for about a month now. I really think it is starting to look bad.

The new pills are not really doing anything, at least I am not really certain if they are. I told Joe that I feel hungry every 3 hours and then when I do eat I am stuffed from the normal sizes that I was eating last month. I ate a small subway and a few (about 15) baked chips and I thought I was going to explode. He said that it may be speeding up my metabolism but at the same time curbing my appetite. I will have to ask if that is what it is supposed to do when I go in for the weigh in in the morning. It is just a really weird feeling to have.

I hope all is well with everyone and I hope to see you all here today.

Hi everyone

I finally got a chance to get here today. How is everybody doing? I am doing pretty good. I seem to do eating wise good all day and at supper I overeat big time. The other night we were eating and I said to myself this is bad I ate more than my husband did. I could probally eat him under the table anytime !

Angie I know how you feel. Its like you just want to eat and you don't know why? I agree with Anna and Kempy take it day by day, hour by hour, and just think I am really hungry or eating to fill something else like stress. I tend to eat during times of stress. When I get stressed, if I remember I try and go drink a huge glass of water or sugar free something. Hugs girl, we are here to listen and talk.

Noelle our cars really take a beating because of the salt they pour on the roads to melt the ice. So we try to at least rinse that off because that causes them to rust. Don't feel bad I did not have a romantic Valentines either.

Anna glad you are feeling better. Yesterday I thought I felt a cold coming on. I hope not. Have a great day.

Hello to anyone I forgot. Julie

Aloha Ladies.

Today seems like a pretty blah day. I got into this really depressed mood yesturday coming home. I realized and feel like I am stuck going nowhere fast. Not sure if its my job, hormonal imbalance or what. But I really hating life right now. Though I could sleep it off - after crying it off - but that didn't really work. I just woke up even more depressed. Not looking forward to anything anymore. Tired of the same routine I go through everyday. Sorry to sound so humbug. But life is just irritating right now.

Angie - A BIG HUG to you. Wish we could all be there when we feel like this so that we can all cry on each other shoulders and give each other hugs. Just keep your head up. I know that you can get through this. Remember, we're all here for you.

Well, I best be getting back to my humbug job. Hope everyone is doing good! Will check in later.

-Jacks

Hello ladies. Had a typical busy morning here at work, then off to p/up the squirt at school, then having a leisurely lunch at home. Just as I'm about to leave a car pulls up and blocks me in. It's a government agent looking for my husband ...turns out he's following up on some purchases made last year to make sure he still has them in his possession and has not sold them to anyone (like say terrorists???), overseas or otherwise. It was a bit unnerving for me to say the least, I was sweating! I had to have the guy follow me to my office so he could physically see the items bought and I had a hard time opening the darn safe--took me over 6 tries before it would crack--Stella Bridger (Italian Job) I am not! Anyway, that's over and I'm supposed to be back to work.

Angie how are you doing today girl? Chin up girl.

Jacks, hang in there girl. Your job sounds demanding and I'm sure you do a great deal for your office. Maybe you just need a breather? or maybe a different environment. I'm sure I'd feel suffocated being around all those policital typs too .

Hey julie, I know I can keep up with my hubby and the way he eats--and that's a lot! You're not alone. We have problems with the salt in the air here as well, but not from the roads, just from the ocean itself. It's been such a long time since I've washed my car by hand, I'm so lazy I usually just drive it through the car wash!

Kempy, of course it rains as soon as you wash the car--that's Murphy's law! Oh I can feel the adrenaline rush when that ebay auction ends and you're the winner . Sometimes I get so upset when somebody snipes me at the end, I also swear alot while at the computer .

Anna, I can so relate to being online for hours reading all those blogs about weight loss and stuff instead of just getting off my butt and doing something to lose the weight. Although the TV comes in a close second, especially with American Idol going on...

Holly, how's mom doing? How's the new job?

A big hump day hello to Cal, Donna, Tonya...everyone else

Good evening, everyone!

Well, the power was out here all day. "Coincidentaly", it came back on at the same time the evening classes were scheduled to start. Previous to that, the kids were sitting in the dark classrooms, and the teachers has flashlights. I really feel for these kids. The seniors are in class from 6:30 a.m. till 10:00 p.m, with breaks for breakfast, lunch, and supper. And this is seven days a week. No wonder I can't get them to take learning "spoken english" more seriously.

Kempy, the big reason I have been thinking about this stuff is I've had a lot of time on my hands. I average 3 "teaching hours" a day. A teaching hour is 40 minutes. I have very little prep time, since I preped most of my lessons before even coming over (for my TESOL course), I can't assign homework because I see the kids only once every two weeks, so it's pointless, and there's really not a lot for me to do. I'm my only company a lot of the time, so I have lots of time to think, figure out who I am.

The running was the final catalyst, though. For that time, it's just me, the music, and my counting. I figure out a lot of things doing that, because it really clears my mind of all the junk. I'm not in front of the computer, watching DVDs, or trying to be anything to anyone. I'm just being me. And it really does help. I realized that there are people at home I dread seeing, and it's probably for a good reason. I realized that there are people at home I can't wait to see, probably for even better reason. And I realized what I want for myself. I think when I go home, it won't be for long. I want to see the world. But if I do stay home, I've made a list of things I want to do. Classes I want to take, places I want to see. I've realized, now that I'm away from everything putting so much pressure on me to be everything to everyone, that I don't want to do that. I want to live my life.

Wow, that sounded so much more pretension than I intended it to. *blush*

That all being said, do you keep a journal of some sort? Do you have a private spot for yourself? Do you do something just for you, and not for working out or fitness, or your family, or anything? That's all I can think of. My biggest advantage has been having friends back home that I can send long-winded emails to about my thoughts, who have been concerned about my mental health for years, and can give the sort of gentle encouragement that is needed.

But now that everyone's talking about their cars, I've decided that I have to learn how to drive when I get home. God, I'm 27, and I can't even imagine what it's like to be on the open road, nothing but you, the music, and your car. Is it fun? Or just stressful? I've been offered cheap cars so many times, but I think this time I'll actually do something about it.

So, yeah, I ramble. On the weightloss related front, my Wu Shu teacher was a no show (at least, I waited outside for half an hour and then gave up), and I just can't be bothered to do anything right now. I'll see if I'm up to running at 9.

Take care, be well.
Anna

Aloha ladies -

Not much going on here today I see. Just want to check in and see what people are up to. I'm feeling a little bit better today. No one's really pulling at my nerves today, thank God. Just trying to cruise along while watching the minutes hand on the clock. Work has been pretty non-hectic, so no complaints. Nothing crucial is up for hearing.

Just found out that my bunny might have fleas. I'm not sure exactly whats on him but theres a lot on his face. I noticed one before but took it lightly b/c it's nothing like I've seen before. We're taking him to the doctor this weekend but me and Kel have been trying to pick them off his head. He's got a couple of scabs from bites. Poor thing.

Me and Kel bought some fishes yesturday which kind of cheered me up. Made excuses yesturday at work to go home early and we went straight to the pet store. We have 2 angel fishes, 2 clown fishes, and 2 tetras in a 5 gallon tank. Hoping to get more b/c it's kind of lonely in their. I want to try and recreate Nemo's fish tank at the dentist office. Not sure where I can find a freshwater puffer fish though.

Well - off to lunch. I'll be back later to check in. Hope everyone's doing well!

Jacks

Wow it has been quiet in here today. I didn't go to school today, I just didn't feel right.

Jacks good tot see that you feel better today. Sometimes just getting out of the office early helps. At least I noticed that helps when I am not in a good mood. I love the tank in Nemo. I have a Nemo but my other clown fish is not very nice to it. I hate to see than being so mean.

Angie don't you forget about us here.

Heck for that matter don't anybody forget about us here. Where are all of you guys?

Hey ladies! Today was my first OP day in a LONG time. It is so hard. The chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer, and brownies are calling my name. Things are just so hectic right now. I have come to the realization that my husband's coldness towards me is never going to change, it hasn't in 6 years. I knew he was cold when we met, but, he also told me that the longest relationship he had with a woman before me was 2 1/2 months. So, I guess I felt he would learn to love and have passion as time went on. Sadly, his only love and passion is for the children. Just a really trying time for me right now between my mom being so ill, oh, CHF is congestive heart failure, going back to work and leaving my children, trying to figure out why my utility bills are so high in my new, supposedly heat-efficient home, and battling fatigue/depression issues.

Kempy,

Your motivation is great! I only wish I could get mine back . I tried the no pudge brownies, but didn't like them. I guess I am just too picky with my chocolate, lol. What pills are you taking? I read that Anna Nicole lost alot of weight on Trim Spa, and is going to appear on a tv interview on the 22nd. She is so obnoxious!! I have the problem of stress eating, and god knows, my life is ALWAYS stressful with 3 children, 2 cats, a husband, and now a part time job. WHEW!

Noelle,

I think 8.13 miles would kill me! Good job!! WOW! A government agent, that would make me a tad nervous to say the least!! My mom has pneumonia, but, they are hoping to have her back in rehab by next week. Thanks for asking. My job is soooooo crazy. Being a PT Aide for 7 therapists, I have to check in all patients, take them back to the rooms, write the room # on the chart, tell each therapist where their patient is, clean the 4 whirlpools, stock and fold the linens, sanitize and change the pillowcases on each bed after each patient leaves, equipment cleaning, backup for the front desk, etc. It is soooo crazy! I am there for 5 hours, and am on my feet in a mad dash for at least 4 1/2 of them! In a typical day, we see 60-75 patients.

Angie,

Hang in there girl (((Angie))). I understand how difficult it is to get back on track. Today is my first day, and I am hoping it isn't the only day because the weekend is coming, and I ALWAYS mess up on the weekend.

Anna,

I am always reading the fitness/diet magazines, though usually find the advice and diet plans unrealistic for a mother of 3 small children. I just don't have the time to cook 2 or 3 different meals a night. I wonder if 27 is the self-realization age? I am 27 myself, and am now realizing I am not happy with my life, and know that I am the only one who can change it.

Jacks,

Hugs to you!! So many days I feel like I just want to stay in bed. It was worse before I went back to work last week after 5 months lay off. What do you do at work?


I hope everyone has a great night!!

Holly

Good Evening Ladies

Been pretty much gone and busy all day. But just wanted to pop in and say Hi!

Angie where are you girl? I hope you are doing okay. Remember you are not a failure. Come out and chat. We luv ya!

Holly I feel for you. Your job sounds busy. I know what you mean, sometimes my husband drives me nuts! You are soooooo right though about being the only one to change your life. I am going to be twenty-nine this summer and by the time I am thirty I want to feel good emotionally and be at my most physical fitness wise.

Jacks glad you are feeling better today. Life can be so stressful sometimes. I hope your sweet bunny gets better soon.

Hello to Noelle, Kempy, Cal, Anna and everyone else. Good night...Julie