He does twice a day in fact! But alas he has lost his signature moves!

I wish I weighed 100 pounds less.

Granted but you lost all on only the top half of your body :P

I wish my beloved pasta would make me drop weight instead of gain it!

Granted- but that yummy super-secret sauce that your aunt makes causes you to gain a lb for every tbsp you eat of it >

I wish I could control water! XD

Congrats! You can now control water. Oops... global warming causes it all to evaporate away forever. ;~; Useless mutant power.

I wish that it's nice weather for when I go to the museum tomorrow.

Sunny skies with white puffy clouds for you tomorrow. However, when you arrive for a day at the museum, it becomes a night at the museum, and all the exhibits come to life (and, as a bonus, you get to meet Ben Stiller--and I don't know if that is a benefit or a corruption).

I'd like a maid to clean this endless mess of a house....send one over, please.

Granted, you get a maid to clean the house, however, she brings her 5 children with her who are uncontrollable and break everything not put up.

I wish I had long, thick, and healthy hair.

Granted! Long, thick, healthy hair... is now growing from your armpits.

I wish I were a better cook.

Granted- but due to global warming and the lack of water there are no crops... so no veggies, fruits, spices, or anything for you! (But if the water comes back I'll use my mutant water controlling powers and give some to you XD)

I wish my school schedule was better!

Granted, but all of your teachers now speak with thick accents.

I wish I had a pint of ice cream right now.

Granted, but your ice cream has melted and is sour.

I wish I had a brand new car.

Granted...but it is being recalled in 3 years for everything!

I wish I could drive a tank down our freeway...OVER the cars!

Granted, but it's a remote controlled toy tank and it gets smushed by one of the cars.

I wish I would get called back for that job!

Granted, but the job involves a 2 hour commute each way in rush hour traffic and working weekends is mandatory.

I wish I had a new shoe wardrobe.

Granted, but all of the shoes are a tad too small and pinch your toes.


I wish I had a maid who did all of the laundry and dishes.

Granted, but all your clothes were shrunk 2 sizes too small and all your dishes were broken.

I wish I could go on a vacation for a week.