Something cool happened. I got my copy of the overfed head this week and started it yesterday. So I have been wanting applebees I ordered my normal, but got the smaller size. I ordered an appatizer I usually order, but when it came I realized I didn't really want it. I ordered a salad ate that and boxed the other appetizer up to go home. I ate what I wanted of the email and left the rest.

At this point I would be sitting her plotting when I could eat the rest, but its in the bad...and I am not particularly obsessed about it.

My dh and I argued this week and my old binging desires hit me hard. I did go binge shopping, but I didn't eat it!! It makes me so mad that that is such a big trigger! I haven't binge shopped in at least a month. My old thinking came back too- what is the biggest bag of chocolate I can get for the least amount of money, hide it so no one else can have some. ARGH! It also affects my desire to exercise when I am mad. I am happy to say that I pushed past it and went for a six mile run this afternoon. As far as meals go, things have been fine. I've been eating some different foods this week. My biggest goal for next week is eating only when hungry, not just because it is dinner time. Teaching, I don't have time to just eat whenever I want, so I am sort of forced to eat lunch at the same time. If I don't eat, I'll have to wait four more hours. But there are a lot of times where I feel like I eat out of habit.

It's funny Obsi - I noticed I do eat differentyly since I've started excercising. Some days I don't have much of an appitite and other days I eat more then usual. Like yesturday I found myself eating something ever 3 or 4 hours because I was actually hungry. No, I didn't eat alot each time because I'm really trying to stick too once my hunger is gone I stop eating.

Now today I had a really good breakfast and I'm still not hungry and that was at 8am this morning and it's almost 2pm now. I said to my husband that I could really go for a piece of cake so I went down to the bakery and got something small that I really thought looked good - I will probably share with him. I'm still not hungry but when I am I'll probably have that when I'm ready. I'm not stressing about it - it's not "calling me from the kitchen" it's just a food that I wanted and when I'm ready for it I'll have it - even if only two bites satisfy me that's fine. (I'm trusting my body).

I really love living this way. I fine that I enjoy food more then I did before - It's about what I really want instead of what I should have. And the excercise is more enjoyable because I want to do it because it's fun and feels great - not because I'm trying to burn up a donut that I had.

I had a thought last night that this might be the time I will actually get thin. We went swimming with the family at a really nice indoor pool in a town about 30mi from home. I have a ways to go but I felt good about my body for the first time in a long time. We went to Pizza Hut after ..........about 20 of us and nothing tasted very good so I wasn't tempted to overeat at all. I also had the thought that in the past I associated getting thin with illness and even dying because that is the only way I lost weight before. Years ago, when I was first ill, I lost a lot of weight and began to worry about it because of the wife of my husbands employer........she had cancer, got really thin and looked awful. That was a silly thought because as soon as they put me on prednisone I gained weight quickly and years later I wondered why I had ever had the thought of getting too thin. But I think those kind of thoughts have been hanging around in my mind for a long time. I am kind of amazed how food takes a back seat now so to speak. I mean, you can enjoy it but it doesn't have to have such a hold on a person.

Since reading the overfed head I think I am much more concious about what level of hunger I'm at and the signals that come along with it. Something that surprised me. I ate yesterday at about 3 or 4 and wasn't hungry until about 3 or 4 in the morning ( I had an accident so i went to bed at 8 and was up in the middle of the night)not very hungry but enough to nibble on something and then go to bed. Then I wasn't hungry again till about 2pm in the afternoon. Just found it interesting.

I also think while I love the idea of eating what I want...I will probably stick to more healthy stuff. I also like the distinction of thin does not necessarily equal healthy and I enjoy working out now because it makes me feel better.

Hey runnin' momma I used to have a shopping problem (and occasionally I still have to talk myself out of buying some stuff) For some reason Target seems to be a problem for me. I can easily pile in $100-$200 worth of stufft. What I started doing was putting in what i want, but when I got ready to leave made myself add up what it cost and put some stuff away until I got down to a reasonable number. I think it was sort of like the eating. Rather than try and ration myself If I bought what I actually needed I was ok. Eventually I am ok going into a store buying what I actually want or need and and didn't fill up the cart.

If this offends you sorry, only good intentions.

Obie, I don't mind suggestions at all!!
I actually wanted to put some of the junk food back. My mind wanted to but there was that little voice whispering in my ear, "What if you need that junk food?" It was like the old me and the new me were having an arguement and the new me didn't win at the check out line. The new me was able to say "no" at home though! I just hate spending money on junk I don't really need.

Nobody is writing today so better add my 2 cents. Today wasn't a real good day eating wise ........over ate right away in the morning and felt bad. But it was learning experience. Hope to learn how it feels to over eat.......not a pleasant thing. Otherwise I still have my daughter and kids here from Portland so that keeps me busy........better run.

Well today was kinda ok, The lunch thing at work seems to be my biggest sticking point. If I don't eat during lunch because I'm not hungry, by the time I am off of work I am very hungry. So today I went ahead and ate. I didn't eat much since I wasn't really into it. We'll see what happens I doubt I eat the rest of the day.

Also my monthly weigh in is coming up and I am nervous since I really have no idea if I am losing or not. I know I feel better so really as long as I haven't gained anything I'll be happy. I really hate the scale.

I am having a slight obsession with peas and carrots lately no idea why. I guess there is something my body isn't getting enough of. Anyway else had any weird cravings that weren't necessary fast food or sweets?

Obie,That is funny. My obsession for carrots just ended! I ate carrots every day for about the last 5 weeks!!! In the last 2 weeks I've started eating a peach every day.
Obie, I weighed the other day and was up 1 pound. It totally ruined my psyche. I think I need to throw all weighing out the window. It gets me thinking in diet mode and I've binged twice since I weighed after being binge free for so long! I feel like my whole self esteem went out the window.

Runnin' Momma While I want to lose weight I try not to let the scale be the only way I measure success. How do you feel? How is your overall health? I know you're runnin' momma, but are you excercising?

I read the overfed head, but I think you still should exercise, however often you feel you can do it..and build. Not that maniac 7 days a week for 2 hours, but something you can enjoy.

For me my knees are doing much better, a little creaky but better, my energy is up. Besides the IE I am still trying to do the walking. I am in the middle of moving and working so it is sort of on pause until I am done moving.


Another questions at the end of the overfed head he mentions keeping a journals of your levels of hunger during the day has anyone been doing that?

Off the soapbox and loving my peas and carrots
-Obie.

Hey gals. I haven't been around much lately. I'm down total of 10 pounds. Not sure if I'm going to make my mini-goal though. We'll see. How's everyone else doing?

I blew it again this morning....not bad but felt yucky because I really don't need much breakfast. I'm ok now.......ate lunch and feel ok. My daughter and 2 boys left so a little sad today. They are so far away and this is the first time they have been home in 3 yr. The dad is from Mexico and even with them both working money is tight. The boys are 4 and 2mo......so cute... totaly Spanish looking.....my daughter is fair. She cooked Mexican for us one night and my son cooked Chinese last night. Except for breakfast, I haven't been overfull. Yes, Obi, I crave strange things too, like stuffed peppers.

Good to see you again, Sabrina.