*presents butt for firm kicking*
somebody. anybody. please?
been emotional and stressed the last couple of days, and have been filling up on food.
was REALLY excited over the 20lbs lost after surgery.

granted, not the healthiest way to loose it, but god... the motivation i felt after seeing that big of a difference on the scale....
the good news is that i went roller skating on Tuesday, and plan to go each Tuesday. i've been skating exactally 5 times in my life, so i'm not getting much of a workout yet, but i did manage to make it around the rink several times under my own teetering power.
but, there's still the issue of my eating habits. i know that i can't just exist on broth and tiny amounts of very very soft food, no matter HOW well that worked as a weight loss plan. so... suggestions?
i don't do well on plans that make me eliminate things that i like. any plan that demands i stop drinking coffee or eating chocolate is doomed to fail without question. so... i've been trying to make better choices now that i can eat again. less butter. more veggies. smaller portions. not doing real well yet.... and i spend a lot of time kicking myself for messing up.
just.... so tired of being fat. of hating who i am, because i'm ashamed of the outside. tired of always thinking that i can't do things, because being overweight makes me less of a person.
wow. guess that pre birthday depression is hitting early this year... *sighs* part of the reason that i poofed last year is because it got the better of me. i quit my job, and didn't leave the house for almost three months. i'm amazed that Phil put up with me. still amazed that he puts up with me.
it gets better, doesn't it? will that motivation i feel return with such force with every new goal reached? i just need something that will get it through my thick head that i really am worth doing this....