Well, I think I am starting to feel a bit better about things. Maybe it's the weather finally warming up but my mood is drastically improved today.

Thank you all for the encouragement and support!!! Still haven't weighed, not sure when I will again. I need to refocus I think and stop obsessing over the scale and just focus on eating healthy and exercising. who knows, maybe with a ton of toning I would be happy with my current weight. I was about 134 the spring before last and I remember being very happy at that weight and with my body, but I was doing crazy amounts of walking and yoga which really were not sustainable for my life in the long term as I was spending my entire evening (from 5-8:15) walking to yoga, taking a 90 minute class, walking to the train, taking it 20 minutes and then walking home. It's suprising just how much time yoga classes seem to take. I love them, but when I am crunched on time I have trouble fitting them into my schedule.

Krampus - Have a great time with your mom! If I remember right, she hasn't seen you at all since you've lost weight, right? Hope you have a great time together.

Indiblue - that's interesting about the intermittent fasting, as I used to pretty much eat that way when I was going to yoga all night. I'd have a normal sized breakast (usually a peanutbutter sandwich, fruit and coffee) and a large lunch out somewhere, then I'd skip dinner - sometimes have some crackers or tea but that would be it. I felt really satisfied eating this way, but I am not sure it helped me lose weight? Although I wasn't calorie counting at the time either.

I am with you on the never feeling full with all those small meals. I would much rather go hungry between meals and be able to eat a good 400-500 calories than snack on these 100 calories peices of fruit, bags of carrots, etc all day long. I never feel full that way.

Veela - So sorry you've been sick, I've come down with quite a few things myself this winter and it really makes for a hard time with weightloss. Take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon!

Kat - really odd about your height, are you sure you are measuring correctly? Was it at the end of the day? I think people are shorter at night from their spine compressing throughout the day. I actually had a similar experience. After being 5' 2'' since the 5th grade, when I was about 27/28 I was at the Dr and was shocked when they told me I was 5' 3''. They told me it can happen from yoga, i guess my spine became decompressed or something. I have no idea, but I've been 5' 3'' now for a few years...that extra inch allows me like 5 extra pounds on the BMI chart, hah.

Wildflower well the thing about IF is it doesn't directly help you lose weight, or it shouldn't at least, because it doesn't require reducing your caloric intake. It helps you burn fat. Since you eat the same amount of food, the caloric intake should be the same, but ideally your body resorts to burning fat when it is in the fasting state. For me it's helping me keep my calories under control (i.e. curbing desire to binge/graze) and ensure a greater percentage are coming from my wholesome meals rather than mindless snacking on popcorn, candy, chocolate, etc. These two byproducts (curbing excessive snacking, ensuring more calories are coming from nutritious sources rather than snacking) ARE helping me lose, but not IF itself.

It also helped me get over what could have been a little plateau. I was between 128-129 for several days and after the first day of IF I woke up to 127.8. I was there for two days and now I'm at 127.6. So I suppose it's also helping me lose since it is shaking my body out of it's normal pattern.

Anyway I'm not an expert, so if you want to learn more I'd definitely consult a more reliable source Just did want to throw that out there as an option since your calories and exercise are right on par and you definitely don't want to further reduce your calories.

Also, funny you should mention your yoga schedule. When I lived in the US I also was walking to the yoga studio for a mile, taking a 1 hour 15-30 min class, then walking to the train station, then walking 1 mile from the train station home. I wouldn't get back until 9 or so. I was also on a funny eating pattern then too. I would only eat a fruit smoothie and popcorn for dinner; lunch was my big meal of the day. I wasn't even trying to lose weight, all I wanted was a smoothie and popcorn for some reason. Funny how we get in random routines like that.

So sad this thread is dying!

The last week has been a terrible one for me. I moved across the world to be with my boyfriend and his employer has faltered in every way in assisting in securing me employment (which they are all but required to do). I was offered/accepted a job at that institution and then just last week, after the arrangements were made three months ago and a salary was offered, was told they wouldn't be offering me an American salary as we've been told the past few years, but a local one instead. Basically, they would only pay me less than half of what my predecessor (also a partner/spouse) made for the exact same work.

Rug pulled out from me, HARD CORE. Not only did I quit my job, but I also quit consulting work here in country to begin work. There were other huge mistakes too, the way the whole thing has unfolded, that I won't go into here. They know they screwed up, and I even received a call over the weekend from the highest executive director apologizing. It was a sincere thing to do, and even if it doesn't change things it at least vindicates what happened to us to some degree.

So last week was a mixture of terrible anger, sadness, and panic, because I gave up my career and income to be here and now am left with neither. Have finally gotten to the point where I'm ok with what happened and can now move on emotionally and literally, applying to other jobs. My BF and I may not be able to live together anymore, as I'm looking at jobs in other parts of Asia, but such is life.

Weight loss stalled for a bit because of my own obsession with brownies, but I think I'm back on track. Pretty sure I'm losing inches though, sz 4 express jeans I've had since college that have always given me a muffin top (and as a pear, my waist is the smallest part of me!) now fit very well. Not unlikely that I'll see 126 soon

Now, back to job-searching! Onward and upwards....

hi indiblue - i'm a newbie on this part of the site and haven't read any of the rest of it, but just wanted to say i'm really sorry for the way things have happened for you so far.
It must be really tough to have left everything behind.
On the other hand congratulations on being brave enough to do it. It's always easier to turn down opportunities and then think 'what if'.
You've made the change. Your life will always be different as a result.
It sounds glib and everything, but you're obviously at a turning point and have different options, but i'm sure you'll look back in a year or two and be happy that all this happened, because that's what it took to get you to wherever you're going!!
Try to stay positive while things are up in the air, and good luck with the brownies thing.

Oh, indiblue! I'm so sorry about all that! Hang in there! Is the local salary at all livable? What does your boyfriend think? Is he at all tempted to make a job change again since the rug was pulled out from under you? Can you go back to consulting where you are?

I'm fully 118 today, down a half a pound from yesterday, despite going a little over my daily calories, which just goes to prove yet again that it's all about your average "goodness" over the course of a week or so rather than any one particular slip-up (and we're talking a 10-calorie slip, not a huge thing or anything). I've made some new goals for myself and am being really sort of throw-caution-to-the-wind with my April 15th goal to be 115. That's FAST, but if I can keep with the current rate I've been losing, I just might make it. Plus, I'm training for a 5K at the end of April, so I know I'll be getting a lot more cardio-based workouts in here pretty soon.

On a side note, I've been a carb fiend lately, and I just can't help it. Probably because of all the running I've been doing, but partly because even though I know carbs are a little bit of the enemy, they're often generally low-calorie in the short term and they keep my mood and energy up. So, sorry, I'm going to have pasta for lunch (full of veggies, though!) and a snack of a piece of bread with some organic strawberry jam. Honestly, I think carbs have been far too demonized. Yes, when I'm in maintenance mode I will eat with macronutrients in mind, but when I'm in a phase of just looking at calories in, calories out you get more bang for your buck with integrating a few more carbs in.

indiblue I'm so sorry things have taken such a terrible turn; it's so much stress all of a sudden. I really hope something can be worked out where you don't have to entirely compromise what you want. Perhaps a surprise golden opportunity will pop up? I don't know, dumb optimism is dumb but sometimes miracles happen. Wishing you all the best.

kat999 118, amazing! I agree that carbs are way demonized, just like how breakfast is overglorified. It sounds like your diet now is working great for you. Good luck hitting 115!

***

Just ducking in to update quickly. Am still alive. Stressed to the max having mom here, I wasn't prepared at all to deal with how much work goes into living for two people as she can't read or speak Japanese and since this is her first time in Asia, everything is new. She doesn't like any seafood or raw meat or meat with fat on it and eats like 1000 calories a day normally so I just hear "this is sooo much food" after every meal. I haven't been handling the stress so well, it translates into me fussing over her like a mother hen and her getting mad about that. Also, I am not getting much exercise in since she is a bit elderly and needs to walk pretty slowly.

Unsurprisingly, coupled with my persistent foot injuries (both feet, can barely walk without pain), this all translates to surefire weight gain and an "I don't care I don't care I don't care" attitude. I can feel myself expanding; my hipbones have disappeared.

ange, kat, krampus thanks for your kind support! I'm most "over" what happened, though I was talking with my bf last night about it and got emotional again, but for the most part looking only forward. It's just *panic mode* that sets in when you are halfway across the world and suddenly unemployed. I've gotten 6 resumes out for jobs both in Asia and back in the US with many more planned, so fingers crossed for the next few weeks...

I turned down the job, because of the way I was treated, the awful salary (I can make more in the local economy of any nearby developing country), and it didn't offer me much professionally. My bf isn't able to quit his job... he has 3 more years on his "contract" so to speak. Even then it's likely he'll stay, he's basically in an army-like career- not in the sense that it is defense but that it's a career commitment. Eventually he might leave for my sake, but that's down the road. And krampus no dumb optimism is what I'm holding on to now- the job I was supposed to take isn't in my line of work, so I keep reminding myself whatever I find will be better in some way, professionally, financially, etc. It just may mean my bf and I are in different places for a while.

I was worried I would seriously regret turning this down but all I've thought recently is that anything I come across will be better, likely MUCH better. This was a job I was settling for, so it could be this opens up really good opportunities I wouldn't otherwise pursue.

Anyway, so thank you guys

ange thanks for the brownie comment, that totally cracked me up!!
kat 10 cal? haha I don't even worry about a 100 cal slip up. Anyway good to know you are at 118!! 115 by April 15 is very doable. I agree carbs have been demonized, I really don't see the problem in eating a banana, whole wheat high protein pasta, and a homemade oatmeal bran muffin in one day. Especially if you are running! That's all I crave when I'm running.
krampus I hope amidst the craziness and stress of your mom being there (and I totally get it, my parents have never traveled outside the US and going to Washington, D.C. was stressful enough for them) you're able to enjoy yourself. I hate not being able to exercise, but at least maybe this gives you foot a break? Or perhaps you are doing so much walking it's not helping I don't know. Anyway hope the rest of the trip is a bit smoother sailing and you're able to relax and enjoy as much as you can.

I agree also that carbs are pidgeonholed as baddies and breakfast is too far in the opposite corner. The other big fib as far as i'm concerned is that exercise helps with weight loss. Yes most people should do more, yes it makes you healthier, feel better etc etc, but lose weight? Not for me - i get the opposite. The more i exercise the hungrier i get. Sigh

Krampus - good luck with the rest of your mums visit. I'm currently a bit aprehensive about an imminent invasion by the in-laws from UK. We've got sister, brother in law, 3 kids and mother arriving next week for 3 weeks. Eeeek!

Hi Everyone - I'm still alive too, just been tied up with school, work and all that. A person in our social circle's father passed away last week as well, so things have been a bit thrown off from that. Very sad.

I've been able to start back up running again, made it to the gym last Tuesday/Thursday for 20 minute runs over lunch, and this week stepped it up Monday to 25 mins and Wednesday I ran outside for about 30 (I get stopped at lights so I tried to extend the time a bit).

Diet has been okay...not perfect though. I haven't weighed myself in a few days, and I haven't been keeping really low. You may remember I felt starved at 1300 calories and wasn't losing so I upped to 1500. Over the weekend I kinda just ate whatever - including tons of cookies on Sunday. We had the wake/funeral thrown in there which shouldn't be an excuse to eat poorly, but became a "let's eat bagels in the car so we have some dinner" situation. I think I will weigh next on Sunday, I don't know. I've been absolutely dreaming of binge eating, which is bizzarre. I never thought of myself as a binge eater, but I suppose that's the same as "pigging out" with friends which I used to do quite often, but it's been at least 3 or 4 years since I've been like that. But lately all I think about is buying cheetos and cupcakes and dips and pizza and spending the evening cramming food down my throat and it just sounds amazing, although I'm not really sure how I feel about all this. I've always been the healthy vegetarian type who ate fruits and veggies because I liked them, so for me to crave junk food is unusual.

Indiblue - I am so sorry the job opportunity fell through. I hope you can find something soon that's in the current city so you and your boyfriend can stay together.

kat999 - wow, you are doing great girl!!! 115 is awesome and sounds very do-able for you. What program are you following for the 5k? I'm always interested in running programs. I would love to train for a 1/2 marathon, but sometimes I feel like I love thinking and talking about running more than actually going out and doing it. Ha.

Krampus - glad your mom arrived safely and that you get to spend time with her but i totally understand being overwhelmed to be constantly around her, especially because she doesn't speak the language, know her way around, etc. I hope you are able to make a little time to get some exercise in with her around...

ange totally agree with the breakfast and exercise statements you made. I love exercising (most of the time...) but it doesn't help as much as people think with weight loss. There was an awesome NYT article about it recently that I have probably posted a million times on 3FC. Exercise is so important for so many reasons, but it's not the golden ticket to weight loss.

Wildflower I'm glad you are still alive! I'm still thinking about you and your plateau and was wondering how's it going. I have been doing a good deal of research on "diet breaks" and resetting the metabolism, which I always thought were just buzzwords, but apparently have a good deal of truth behind them. Perhaps "gaining to lose," or upping the calories a bit for a while will be good in the long run and you really can have those pizzas and cupcakes you've been dreaming about . Let us know how things are going.

--

I'm in hardcore job search mode right now, which I hate. I keep trying to not think about how perfect my old job in the US was (it really was my dream job in a lot of ways, though had some serious personnel problems, as with everything hindsight is always seen with rose-colored lenses). I feel like I'm in major limbo right now, as I have no idea where I'll end up- Asia? The US? Am not looking at jobs in Europe now though if nothing pans out in the next few weeks it may come on my radar...

Got a major haircut today, which despite the hairdresser's not following my instructions, turned out pretty good. I think I had a good 8 inches cut off! I think I really needed it after being in such a rut the last week and a half. Can never underestimate the impact of *feeling* good and pampering oneself on the sense of emotional well-being.

wow indiblue - 8" off the hair sounds pretty dramatic! I'm getting mine cut in the morning but hoping i'll just come back with a minor trim....
Australia's a nice place to get a job!! What was your old job in US?

Right, i signed up today for a half marathon on Sunday, so now i'm in preparation mode and trying to drink lots of water and eat extra-sensibly. I've not run that far for a couple of years and am just using it as a slow 'training run' for the PROPER half marathon i'm aiming for in May, and to see whether i can run that far!

Hey Indiblue -

Yeah, still alive and still maintaining my weight, despite being hungry and feeling like I am dieting on 1300-1500 a day - no weight loss for months means I am in maintence. It's discouraging, and it's getting to me. I've been dieting since September - all was great at first, I don't know what happened other than I hit some kinda plateau pretty quickly.

But restricting for the last 7 months (and only losing 14 lbs) is taking a toll on me. Yes, I've taken breaks in there, but I don't know, as I said before, all I want to do is eat lately. Where as before, yes I was hungry, I didn't have the cravings I do now. The cravings are awful, and the biggest craving I have is just to have that feeling of being really full. I just want to feel it for a few hours.

Ate a good 370 calorie breakfast today that made me feel stuffed to see if I can counter act some of the hungry feelings.

It might help if this frigid weather would please go away for good. I am so sick of the cold and I know that weighs on everyone's spirits.

Indiblue - 8 inches is a huge haircut! Will you show us pictures?!?!

Good luck on the job search. What type of work are you in, if you don't mind me asking? Sounds interesting as it translates all over the world. Good luck with the job search and try not to be too stressed over it (easier said than done, i know).

That's what I've really enjoyed about IF. Eating 400-600 cal lunches/8000 cal dinners has been amazing. I feel like I can eat a full serving of something really delicious and have room for a treat if I want. Not eating for most of the day has been fine, and it's certainly been more than made up for by the large, satisfying dinners I've gotten. I promise it's the last time I'll suggest IF for you, but I did want to mention that.

I'm super nervous about posting a pic of my face in case someone IRL sees it, but perhaps I'll summon the courage to do so. I definitely at some point will post a progress pic of my body at least!

I'm in international democracy/rule of law/human rights work. Eep, nervous about posting that online too but I do need to get over the fact that someone could figure out who I am. Anyway yes it translates to working anywhere in the world, if I can get work permits, as I can work in donor countries (US, for example) at headquarters, or developing/conflict countries (field offices, local organizations).

I think I've sent out 10 applications in the last week, so fingers crossed I'll start hearing back about something in the next few weeks...

Here is my final weigh-in results before I leave for my honeymoon this afternoon:
121! I am pleased as punch, only 2 pounds away from being in the teens! Yay! I hope to come back from my adventure a pound lighter, but of course that will NOT be my focus this week!

Happy spring, everyone!