Thank you everyone for the support and encouragement,I would love to join you all in starting over from day one.

"onebeone, kidslibrarylady and i are all starting over with day 1. for me that day is tomorrow. i'm doing it for real - not going to start dieting until i've finished the first two weeks again. what about trying that? doesn't sound like dieting is working for you, so maybe you could put it aside for a few days and get the head part straightened out. doesn't that sound more appealing than beating yourself up? "

kuhljeanie-Thanks so much for that,I really have been beating myself up over all this.I do need a fresh start.I am working on rewriting some of my cards and advantages.Big one for me today is to have more energy and feel better physically.I am turning 40 this year and I want energy like I had in my 20's,I want my bones and joints to quit hurting,I want to feel awake and enjoy my life.I want more to offer to others at home and work.I want a day I don't have to take Naprosyn,Motrin and Tylenol to get through.I want to enjoy walking,hiking,swimming like I used to.I want to challenge myself,be more spontaneous,be more pleasant to myself and others.Relax,enjoy,appreciate,just enjoy being myself.I want to not have these nagging thoughts in the back of my head that keep me stagnant and unsatisfied.These are the advantages I would like to add.I am thinking about a time I lived in Florida when I was 26-30 years old and we would take our camper all over the state and spent our time hiking,boating,fishing,scuba diving,snorkling,swimming,biking and I felt so alive and happy.We would just pick a destination and go,especially the keys.We had my first son with us and we went everywhere and did everything.Just a side note I was thin and taking the phen/phen combination before the heart effects were known.The Phentermine is still available but makes me so mean and nasty I can't take it alone and the Pondomin is long off the market.Anyway that is how I want to feel again.We live in PA now and have two sons,one born in FL right before we moved back to PA to be near the family.Don't particularly love it here as far as the climate goes but I want the kids near the relatives,hate the winters and not enough summer.

I am still a bit stressed about what diet to chose after the two weeks but I am trying to put it out of my mind for now and to focus on one day at a time.

Just got home from the movies. Saw Iron Man. hubbahubba! Oh lordy... Robert Downey Jr. forging steel... yikes! There's something about blacksmithing that gets me right here... So that's why I still don't have my Beck book located but let me list a few advantages to weightloss anyway.

1. To fit in the bathtub better.
I love having a bath but I rarely do. I have your regular bathtub and I fit but I'm not comfy and unless I put tape over the overflow thingy I barely get water on my body. Do you know what's sad? I've had this wish since I was 10! I remember writing it down at that age too.

2.I wouldn't get that heat rash under my big belly anymore or wear out my jeans at the inner thighs.
Sigh. Summer brings out the heat rash in me. I'd plain love to get rid of this hanging belly period. And I remmeber once, when I was thin for a little while my jeans wore out at the knees! I still remember that with a bit of awe.

3. To get rid of my double chin.
I hate my double chin. I have a strong jawline that I really miss seeing. I have high cheekbones and everything is hidden under a layer of fat. I'd like to see my aging thin face.

4. Reduction/elimination of blood pressure meds. When I lost weight my blood pressure dropped. It is very weight related. I don't like having to take a pill every single day.

5. To feel lighter and freer in my movements.
When i think about being thin I remember how light I felt. I so want that back and I want this weight off of my frame and my joints.

and one more

6. I want to do it because I have been trying to do it forever and I just want it done already so I can move onto other things already. I want to deal with this and get unstuck already!!! I am so very tired of having a "weight problem". It affects every aspect of my life, from clothes shopping and what I want vs. what fits, to how much energy do I have today, to beating myself up over looking awful or eating poorly, to feeling less-than or undeserving ie. low self-esteem to feeling sad that I am getting older and I want to look good for as long as I can and I want to stay well and I have to help myself out now. I don't have the bounty of youth as much as I did. There comes a time we have to face facts and give ourselves a hand and that time is now for me. I have to do this and I wish I had done it already...

7. To stay healthy. I'm afraid I am heading towards illness if I stay the course I am on. I don't want that. I need to turn this car around!

PS. I've had my three meals and nothing in between and am done for the day. No sugar today. Kudos moi.

yay wendy! glad to hear it - you already sound more cheerful! i'm 100% in agreement. no need whatsoever to think about which diet to pick right now. that's not for a couple of days, yet.

your advantages sound lovely. most of them aren't about weight loss per se, but about being healthy and fit and feeling good. i bet you could have that long before you reach your weight loss goals!

cheers and welcome back!

I sympathize with your losing your book. I liked my first one so much, and evangelized it to coworkers who asked to borrow it. So, I bought a second one and leant it to a friend at work. They eliminated her job! So there went my spare book.

I thought I really "had it down" and could do without the book. My daughter was frustrated with gaining a few pounds, so I leant her my original. She lives 4 hours away, hated the book, but still has it.

So, when I decided to get back on Beck I went to the bookstore and decided to buy a [I]third[I] Beck book. They were out of stock. So, I asked for the CD and they didn't have it. So, I bought a workbook. It's OK, but I like the book better. So, a week or so later I went to a different store and found the original Beck Book. Shortly after, I went on a business trip and LEFT IT ON THE PLANE!

I'm hoping that the Diet Gods put it in the hands of someone who needs it. So, I bought yet a fourth Beck Book, and so far, I've managed to hold on to it. If yours doesn't turn up in a couple of days maybe it has migrated to the ownership of someone who needs it! But I hope you find it soon!

Yay, Beckies! I have managed to speed read enough posts to know we have grown significantly....and some high power thinking/processing is going on.

I have finished some of my personal (professional) challenges very successfully, but am struggling mightily with my behavior. (see ticker)

It will take me a while to get to know you all enough to really say anything personally meaningful, but some of your posts have really spoken to me.

I am such a short-cutter-get-to-the-chase -kinda -person, starting over at day I is exactly what I need to do, even though I have some milestone dates coming up for which I want a signficant weight loss...this will be just taking it on the chin, eating my peas before dessert.....and the best thing for me. Again...what I have been doing hasn't been working!

While this is the only thread on which I feel comfortable posting, I do read all the maintainers chats, too, and I see some major struggles going on there. *sigh...it seems as if Beck is right when she concludes we will always fight this fight.

Just a personal update--have not completed raking my driveway out of my lawn and gardens..but it is great exercise. Am still mumbling ALOT under my breath, but at least I am not short of said same and can spout and rake similtaneously without cardiac incident. The ice did not go off this MN lake until May 4th......a record as far as I know. CoastalSue, I am not in Northern MN....ice out on this lake is April 15th, give or take 3 days either way. On April 25 we had 18 inches of wet, wet snow.....and a few small snow banks on May 5th...sheesh!

While the Phrase "On Day I" has taken on new meeting in this political season...I am looking forward to my Day I!

Helps me to think of him/it as someone apart from me. Obviously it's the "voice inside my head", but it's easier to talk back to if I "personify" him/it as somebody else!

Welllllll...... apparently I am fertile myrtle. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant so quickly as we were only 'not-not trying' but three positive pregnancy tests later, I do believe I am indeed pregnant. This kind of puts a new twist as I was a fried-chicken-lovin'-fool my first pregnancy. I don't even like fried foods normally-- I have other food vices to keep me occupied.

Anyway, I am very grateful for the blessing but am struggling with how to make this work. I am going to do some research on losing weight while pregnant-- I believe there is some information on 3FC. With my DD, I received A LOT of flack from the doctors but they never gave me any help other than to say 'don't gain any weight.' I was so mortified I never said anything back. This time I plan on being more assertive and advocating for myself and asking for a referral to a nutritionist. The more help the better, I think. I have a weirdo blood clotting disorder that has gotten me in for an ultrasound early with both pregnancies (one miscarriage.) I will address it then!

I don't have the brain power to do personals but I so much appreciate the honesty of the folks posting on this thread! I read them all. When I get over my shock, I will make an effort to respond to individuals!

Hi all,
Sue: thanks for the reminder that I didn’t go all out in binge mode and that is a big deal. I really am clearly coping with my emotions about my dog I think. I was told that he wouldn’t be around within a week so everytime I walk in the door I wonder what I will see and if “this is it”… every morning I wake up and wonder that… then I worry that I havne’t done enough for him or in time or whatever. I can talk myself out of that though since I know that I am doing the best I can-I have a lot to balance and have had some boundaries about what I can and cannot do. For instance, I haven’t called in sick for this (my “mental health day” ended up being a dog care day but wasn’t planned that way…)… I just have to be okay with what I am doing and know that I am doing my best to keep him comfortable and all of us functioning on some level. Eating does not solve any of that though… you are soooo close to the 200’s!!!!

BillBlueEyes: Eating alone is a big one for me too….you caught it early, learned from it and let it go. NICE. I love all the bicycling going on here too!

Onebyone: kudos on your mindful eating, on selling your artwork and on reducing debt. It is exciting that your artwork is taking off so much!

Kuhljeanie: I love the “less than deep” side of the advantage coin…how fun to think about the wardrobe post weight loss. I like the ideas in the book and like hearing the discussions, though it feels a little redundant at times. I like getting the same message from more than one source. I haven’t read the whole book “The Four Agreements” but have a list of them somewhere (the agreements that is)…. It is interesting to me that Eckhart Tolle has found a way to live his life ignoring his ego….

Wendylan: great that you want to do the first 14 days again…great advantages. I even now experience some of the benefits (fitting into small resin outdoor chairs now without fear of taking the chair with me upon standing up, getting up from sitting on the floor easily, etc..)-I want to experience more though…

Onebyone again: I love Robert Downey Jr. too…fun that you saw that movie. My students are talking about it-I haven’t even seen a preview. Great advantages and credit to you for eating on plan and giving credit!!!

Northwest-maybe Costco has a 12 pack you could have for different areas of your life… hahaha? That is dedication though, I have to say..you keep coming back to it and spreading the word of Beck!

Maryblue: So good to hear from you!!! Glad you are thawing out over there… we are slated to have 85 degree weather on Friday…whoa…. Jeans and long sleeves on Thursday and bikinis on Friday… wacky weather. Here here to day 1!!!

KidsLibraryLady: Wow…congrats. I heard those exact words from a friend who has 2 year old male twins and was just strarting to think about going back to work or at least doing something for “herself”… it can be an adjustment to get your mind around new conditions like that.. you sound like you are ready to face the docs and plan for your good health while pregnant no matter what they say. You go!

Off to read Day 1 and think about my current advantages. I will work on Day one tomorrow as well.

Hi everyone.. Super congratulations to Kids-L-L . I'm sure after the initial YIKES you will be a great baby incubator. What a gift it is for women now to learn so early that you are pregnant. You can start to take care of this little person and nourish both of your bodies well.

I know I'm still in the initial stages of the program and have much to learn. I have done one thing that has really helped me. I have taken a large basket and filled with with lots of those 100 calories snacks. I know these cost more per unit but worth it to me. I plan on having a basket snack each evening. I have also allowed a small glass of red wine each evening as per my cancer Docs. advise. I even had him write this on a Rx pad for my hubby to see.

We are all precious and we deserve joy. Find a smile today my friends.

Howdy All.

Summer is finally coming to Northern Cal coast. much less wind and temps getting much higher-the pool was packed today. (those fair weather user)

Only had a so-so day following the food plan-had to make some treats for the tutoring group and only had a muffin mix and doctored it up with bananas and other spice thus Had to taste the mix as I when along-(just to balance the flavors-Ok that explains 1-2 small bites but I did get into licking the bowl, spoon and eating 1 1/2 nuffins when done. The siren of sugar and white flour. Much credit still have not any Wine- Tomarrow back to no sugar and white flour again. I actually do feel better when ignore the stuff-much less cravings over all.

May not get back to you all tomarrow as our local server is to be off line while they repair things-hopefully it will be done in a day.

Minn(ie)MaryBlu-great to hear from you!! been wondering what you are up to. Don't think we ever get "cured" and become skinny thinkers but do gain insight quicker and have longer periods of eating "normaL" We must always must be aware of those sabataging impluses to overeat. Going back to basic Beck is frequent trip for me.

Reading the posting about adavantage cards was great-Put me down for looking good in clothes also. Love some of those elegant Japanese prints and want to make a long vest using some one day.

Heidi-Going to a weekly meditation group and at end of the time we doing short reading and one person always reads something from eckhart tolle-good stuff to ponder. -You are doing so well for all-family DD, Henry, classroom -Your commitment to changing your eating is so solid-Any "backsliding" is temporary due to the stress- Your care and compassion for your pet is very clear in your postings-You have done all you could for him-You have given him a great home-even the vet found his illness a bit of a mystery-
Talking to an friend about allowing our cat to be both indoors and outdoors- our cat loves to be out-yet there is so much data about not allowing it -they are healthier indoors only, we do have some real preditors around house-rare bears, many reacoons, foxes ect. My friend how allows her pets to be both-said even animals have thier own Karma-

I need sleep-wish all a successful, mindfull day today
sue

Diet Coaches – My after work walk was to Whole Foods to buy vanilla extract for making my granola. Paid $9.99 for 4 ounces - ouch. The two teaspoons of vanilla in a batch costs a few pennies MORE than the 1.25 pound of oats. Don't have any great insight that goes with this profound piece of data other than it occupied my mind while walking.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for staying the course with the wine. Great that you got to swim, albeit having to share the pool with the fairweather wimps, LOL.

maryblu - Kudos for the ability to "spout and rake simultaneously," LOL - I do enjoy that maryblu perspective. Glad to hear that you are thawing out. Congrats for passing through your professional challenges.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for keeping your wits while dealing with powerful emotions. Continuing to send supportive thoughts.

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for staying the course and coming back. Great idea to focus on "one day at a time."

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Welcome to day 2 of day 1. LOL at "shallow, superficial" advantages. I really like the notion of "better clothes in smaller sizes" - no more excuses to buy something cheap because I'm too heavy too buy good clothes.

onebyone – Congrats for the sold painting!! Kudos for "No sugar today." Thanks for the Advantages Card - think I'll add this one to my list, "5. To feel lighter and freer in my movements."

northwest - LOL at the Johnny Appleseed of Beck books. It takes a lot of energy for repeated trips to the store to buy Beck's book. Kudos for perseverence.

KidsLibrarylady - Congrats on your new journey. Kudos for planning your more assertive approach to learning how to deal with pregnancy and weight.

Lori (elkfordian) - Kudos for your basket of 100 calorie snacks - what a good idea. LOL at the Rx for the wine.

Readers – "I'd like to start you off on your weight-loss journey with some wisdom from people who have faced rough spots in dieting and gotten through them. ..." From the Introduction, Beck, pg 13.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXXXXX 35 XXXXXXX 42
Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Good morning everyone.

I just peacefully and mindfully ate my breakfast and abstaining from the bread for this meal. I need to work on the speed still; was too fast with no "putting down the fork". And I stayed the course last night - credit moi.

I saw that I could attach files to posts so I attached an image of 90 pins that I made for the markets last week. This is before they are finished wiht their metal pins attached to their backs. I love seeing a whole bunch together. The moostical pin is the way I display them. Each on a card with a title. And I added my favorite painting right now, called The Bath. I have paintings to make this morning for market and a cheque to collect! yahoo!

Better go. Much to do and I work best in the morning.
Enjoy your day.

good morning everyone!

welcome back maryblu! if you didn't catch the nugget from dr. beck herself that nessa hunted and gathered for us, she mentioned that the folks who do the best really work on getting the first 14 days. go us for doing it right! and yep, we are getting muy deep and spiritual. nice bunch of bottisatvas we got here.

MAZEL TOV kids-l-l! this is so fabulous! i'll be your neighbor by the time the new person arrives. exciting exciting! what a wonderful opportunity to take the best possible care of yourself. are you finding that it's easier to do the right thing when you know you're being watched and modelled? i was able to "give up" so much when i was pregnant (alcohol, caffeine, deli meat) with a pre-beck intuitive "oh well." if only i had applied that to sugar, grease, and overeating in general. pregnancy might be a leg up for you on these skills. let me know how it goes - we're planning on starting to try for #2 in a few months too.

onebyone - LOVE the pins and the painting. lots of life coming out of yer stuff. i visualize money swimming through the ether towards you - but no need to wave a net to catch it! it just lands at your feet. your breakfast sounds very relaxing. i had a week of vacation once, several years ago, with my best friend in the world who was housesitting for a friend in marin county. they had a hottub, and every morning we'd make ourselves matcha and steamed rice for breakfast, and we'd have them in the hottub. it was such an amazing way to start the day. i actually have a hottub now, and there's matcha in the fridge i could make, but i'd have to get up before el nino and eat my breakfast in the dark. it's not a bad idea, now that i think about it. hmm...one more thing before i forget, i think we keep crossing each other's posts. i really enjoyed your advantages. they make a ton of sense to me. i resonated with that last one - i've got a similar one. "i’m able to focus my time and energy on all kinds of issues that have nothing to do with food, weight or body size." just be friggin' DONE with it so i can get on with the rest of my (wonderful) life!


hi sue! what a great realization about the white stuff. you know the song "white lines" by grandmaster flash? i'll think of you the next time i hear it. hope your back feels better soon! ouch bill, that's some expensive vanilla! i have a large bottle of the good stuff my mom brought me from a trip to copper canyon, so i've been very spoiled. hi elk! it's wonderful to figure out what works. i've got a thing for buffalo chicken salad, and it was a happy day when i figured out how to make one for 400 calories. and northwest, love thinking about your turning the wheel with book copies. i got both the CD (lost to a coworker) and my current copy from amazon.com, used.

big hug to heidi and henry! so hard to stay present in that situation. you're doing an amazing job.

so, officially on to DAY 2 - pick a diet, and then pick a diet. i'm still considering, but i'm leaning towards calorie counting, doing the wendie plan or cycling, and putting the focus on organic fruit and veggies, lean protein, and whole grains. i also know that i have to leave some room for good chocolate and cake. no crap though - crap sweets or pastries. my stuff is good, quality, made from real food. it's just caloric, and i can work that in. i'll need to put together my meal plans for the week instead of day by day to make that work, but the sensewear website makes that pretty easy. finding time to diet is another day anyway. not sure yet about diet #2. i know watching calories works for me, especially if i'm meal logging. the only time i was successful without it i was living in an extremely structured way with far fewer food choices available (eastern europe.) i was also going to the gym twice a day. i'm pretty sure i couldn't do that now, but maybe i can take the principles i was using and apply them. it was mostly low-fat, lots and lots of water, weight training, and clementine oranges, and i had very little stress in my life. would be interesting to see how i could replicate that in my present circumstances.

today's advantage: i can run long distances at a good pace, and feel good doing it.

realized yesterday on the treadmill that the extra fat on my butt and thighs bounces up and down hard when i'm pushing myself to run fast. i put my hands on it to stop the jiggling, and running was a lot easier. JEEZ! imagine how speedy gonzales i would be without the jiggling - and how much less out of breath i'd be without the additional weight to move. a full marathon wouldn't be out of the question. bet my blood pressure'd plummet!

have a wonderful day, everyone! it's raining buckets here. the grass and leaves are getting greener and greener.

I had to break down and weigh myself today,gained 5 pounds in a relatively short time span. So easy to gain and so slow to lose.Anyway I have been thinking about our day 2 chose your first and alternate diet.

How does this sound?I have lost weight in the past on a plan from an old prevention weight loss book from 2002.The plan consists of eating 9 servings of fruits and vegetables daily,2-3 milk servings,increased fiber-whole grains,limited healthy fats,beans 5x a week,and one sweet treat up to 200 calories after dinner only. This is a very simle plan and I like the idea of adding healthy foods in and focusing on getting the 9 fruit and vegetables in,get the milk servings in,use whole grains and limited healthy fats instead of focusing on what to keep out of my diet.Can this be my diet of choice or is it not specific enough?Also I would like to make sure I get 30-45 minutes of exercise 5x a week on my plan,I am at 3x week now even though this is a later step.

kuhljeanie-I am with you in regards to the chocolate,we do have to have some small treats or it will not work.It is so hard to decide on the specific diet,I like your focus on the organic fruits and veggies,lean protein and whole grains,this is what I would like to do also.

onebyone-Sounds like you are really keeping busy with your art,it is a great way to keep occupied without eating.Sometimes I spend my time beading to keep from eating in the evenings.

BillBlueEyes-Kudos for spending the money to get the best ingredients to make your plan doable.You could have gotten a cheaper imitation but it would not taste as good,we need to spend the money to keep on plan and away from junk.I went out Tues. and got some vidalia onion,strawberries,blueberries,homeydew,cantalope ect...and spent $47,felt a little guilty but then thought to myself if I am going to make this work these are the things I need. I will not feel guilty for taking care of myself and my family for that matter.I had a big bowl with me at work with my fruits and another with my veggies.

coastalsue-Great job keeping up with your swimming.Is it more difficult for you to get laps in with the others in the pool?I find when it gets too crowded I feel rushed and annoyed and am not as productive.

elkfordian-Great plan to have your snacks ready and to plan for your wine,it will keep you on track for the long run.

hbuchwald-You are so right that the food can't fix our problems,hope things are going well for you and your doggie.

KidsLibrarylady-Congratulations on your new addition to come.Alot of the Beck is focused more on our attitudes and thoughts so you should be able to follow along with that, you will want to follow a healthy diet anyway for the baby.You probably just can't restrict your calories too low.I remember my second pregnancy I weighed 186 to start and the doctor reccomended I gain 20 pounds instead of 35,I gained 40 anyway but he told me since I started out overweight to aim for a 20 pound gain and not to restrict calories too low and to make healthy choices.Lots of fruits,veggies and 3 milk servings.

northwest-That diet devil is everwhere I look!

maryblu-Good to see you!

Evening All!

I went to the bookstore trying to find another Beck book, none there, but did pick up something called Ultra-Metabolism. I think this will be my 2nd diet choice, if after reading it through I find it good and sound, and my first is what I am doing now: 3 meals a day and nothing in between except for popcorn on my 2 movie days--no sugar for now and no second helpings. I need to keep things simple right now. I am able to follow this plan and so I will start there. I have also started to add intentional exercise to my day and so I walk the extra 10 or 15 minutes rather than wait for the bus.

I put air in my tires this morning but when I put my full weight onto the bike the tires flattened out so that I was almost on the rims. Not good I don't think. Maybe I need to add more air? Probably. Still haven't gone for the bike ride yet... credit moi for getting closer to that, for sticking to my foodplan, for continuing to post and be willing to keep trying, and for not having sugar for 2 days now.

Just checking in...