Reading this thread jinxed me - I'd been home for 2 hours and TOM arrived. Eek. Just delightful. However, I've already been out for coffee with a friend and cleaned my house this morning. Got my groceries delivered and waiting for my treadmill hire to arrive - yay! Then I have to hit the tornado area that is my bedroom and unpack 2 suitcases and do a lot of washing.. oh fun.

Also, got home and had a massive fight with my CEO over email, so felt like hitting the shop for icecream and chocolate, but I went to bed instead. He's such a jack*ss.

Hey guys,

sorry I've been away again but its been a bit of a shocking week this week, literally. What I thought was going to be a (what is considered normal for me) period, turned out to be a miscarriage. Today its really hit home and I've felt very depressed and I've cried, and been angry and cried, and dh has cried... lots of tears.

It started on Monday I think when I had a sore tummy all night long. But on tuesday I was fine, no pain, some spotting, I thought it was just PMS. I didn't know I was pregnant thats for sure. Tuesday night came tho, and I was in so much pain that I begged dh to take me to the dr, who sent me home with Panadine forte. It worked, took the pain away, and on Wednesday I had another pain free day, with slight spotting. At 9.30 the pain started again and I'm talking about 10/10 pain level. It was too late to be heading to the GP, so I begged him to take me to the hospital. By the time we got there I could no longer stand up and was bawling my eyes out.

I found out at 3am that I was pregnant. My reaction in my drug induced state was to just stare at the doctor. I knew the baby was gone already. I had an ultrasound to check everything on Thursday morning, and had a curet on Thursday afternoon to clean everything up. Home on thursday night, I needed the arms of my man and my own bed.

So I'll be taking it easy this week, and try not to wallow. I'm working on not blaming myself and keeping myself busy and occupied.

I'm glad to see you are all doing well, keep up the good work, and I'll chat again soon.

Kathy

Kathy!!!

What an emotional week!!! Let the grieving process run it's course, don't try to fight it. Sometimes these things are meant to be and there is nowhere to point the blame...certainly not at yourself. Hang in there mate, and know we are thinking of you

Your news kinda makes my little tantrum back there seem soooo pathetic. I have hit a major self-destruct mood I have ignored all eating plans and exercises again today!!

I have however, sat down for a short period this evening to try and analyse things. I seem to cope alright for most of the day. Then comes the evenings...I am starving and that is when things start to crumble. After eating more than I should I then think 'what is the point of exercising?'

So, the plan from now...

I am going to try and allow myself a small snack after work. Something that is not going to push me over my daily limit of 1700cal, but to prevent that 'starving' feeling before my meal a little later.

As for my exercise...I am going to do my 50 squats in the morning. And I think I need to try and do my step-ups before my evening meal. That way if I do overeat I can't use that as an excuse not to exercise because I have already done it!

I can't see this relieving the boredom of my routine but it might prevent what has been turning into a chain-reaction of events that ends in me eating too much and not exercising at all.

I think I also need to back away from the cardboard box meals...they are seriously getting rather boring!!! I need to find some health low cal recipes that I can cook on a weekend and freeze in portions for during the week. That might also relieve the weekend boredom munchies I get because I have nothing to keep me occupied (like lawn mowing - yup I am missing it )

I dread to think what Mondays weigh-in will show...I have been a real pig these last few days. I need to get back on track...and stay on track for a good duration, not just one or two days!!!

Sorry to bore you all with my waffle!!!

Kathy, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a double blow to find out you're pregnant just at the same time as suffering a miscarriage. My thoughts are with you.

Kathy I felt really sad reading your post. Your pain was coming through every word you wrote – you must have gone into shock, finding out you were pregnant and knowing (almost in the same instant) you had lost your baby. Please be gentle with yourself - and get plenty of support. My thoughts are with you.

Augigi, have you done a sneaky weigh-in yet? Good on you for not comforting yourself with food after the fight with your CEO.

Lindor, what are we going to do? It's sounds like you've caught what I've got – yesterday, if food wasn't nailed down I ate it. I'm experiencing a similar "I'm bored with this" way of thinking, and I didn't even exercise yesterday. What can we do?

And like you, I don't have much to do on weekends - and it gets tough. Is it being lonely? Is it feeling alone in the world? I don't know. For you, there might be a bit of the "post-holiday blues" happening. I know I get that way after I've been away, and everything at home seems very dull and boring.

You know as well as I do that weight loss is a long, slow journey - and sometimes a roller coaster. I have seen you ecstatic at losing two kilos, and frustrated at losing nothing.

Is it possible that 1700 calories a day is too much when you're trying to get below 80kg? It would be fine for maintaining, but maybe for losing more you could *mix things up* a little differently.

And if you're hungry at night, the first thing that pops into my head is that perhaps you're not eating enough throughout the day. I find that if I eat a bigger breakfast and lunch I don't have the same evening-hunger issues as on those days when I don't.

Are you drinking water 1/2 an hour before your meals?

Are you putting enough fibre in your food to fill you up?

And what about aerobic exercise? I know the thought makes you shudder :-), but perhaps it would help - even to walk around your kitchen table for 1/2 an hour.

I'm not surprised you're bored. It's been a long journey already - but losing 30kg in a year is awesome… AWESOME! In the old language that's 66 pounds, and it makes me feel really proud of you every time I think about that.

You know that as you get closer to goal it becomes harder to lose weight. So why not set goals that you can reach?

I know you've said there is no gym in your town, but do you live near a beach, swimming pool, major town? Or can you do something like put a Community Notice up somewhere asking for a walking/swimming/lunge buddy? Or buy an exercise DVD and do it in front of your TV?

Or if exercise bores you silly, is it possible to drive somewhere once a week and go for a long walk (like you did while you were on holidays)? Or find other non-exercise ways to increase your physical activity?

Come on mate, hang in there. You're a creative, inspiring woman - and you can find a way through this. Find that ferocious determination and sit down and work out a plan to get to 80kg. So what if it takes you 3 months of hard work to find yourself there! At the end of that time it will be done - and then you can move on to the next goal.

Clearly I don't know the answers - I'm just throwing ideas around. As you well know - this is a discussion I need as much as you do.

In terms of eating, I don't know what to suggest. I'm as guilty of the microwave dinners as you are. Maybe this week's challenge for both of us should be to come up with a simple, creative and healthy food plan. People seem to think that because we live alone it should be easy for us. What they don't seem to realise is that it's hard to motivate yourself to do anything creative when you are the shopper/chef/consumer AND dishwasher.

And then there are the emotional issues around being on your own. I think they have to be taken into account, because they affect our weight loss, our motivation - all that stuff.

Sorry - I hadn't planned to waffle for this long when I started writing this post.

But let's see if we can't turn this around.

:-)
Ani

Ani, thankyou for the time you put into your reply. You gave me a lot to think about.

After reading your post I did a little more research to see what my 'recommended' calorie intake should be to maintain at my goal weight, that being 1900cal (based on little to no exercise!), so surely 1700cal should still show some loss for me?

I also looked a little more thoroughly into my current intake (based on what I consider to be a good day)...this was a shocker for me!!! Seems I am only consuming about 1400cals a day!!! Then with my step-ups (which apparently burn about 200cals in 30mins) I am taking in only 1200cals a day!!!

I then read about the body going into starvation mode!!! I wonder if this is where I am at???

So I guess I need to gradually up my intake slightly to 1700cal? Which I could do by allowing myself a light snack after work in the afternoon.

So far as the exercise goes...if I can push myself to start (and that is one **** of a push!!!) I can feel the good in it and can complete what I start! And the step-ups give me a feeling of achievement once I have done my half hour.

When I was down south, in Esperance, Albany, Bunbury and Perth, I was walking solidly for an hour a day (and that didn't include the walking around towns and the seeing the sights). By the time I got up to Geraldton and Carnarvon I found it was too hot to walk, and that is my problem here. I am a horrid morning person as it is, to have to get up in time to throw in and hour walk before work would surely make me some unbearable beast!!! With daylight saving now too, evening walks would extend to after 7:30pm, which is too late if I want to get home to have a meal three hours before going to bed. As it is I do a 20min slow walk at about 5:30pm with the dogs and the heat then near kills all three of us!!!

I sound like I am making excuses here!!

Kathy sent me a workout video last year...I have tried it a few times and I either stand there in absolute awe of the hosts being able to stay in beat with the music and still be able to talk or I wind up in a fit of laughter on the floor after falling over my feet trying to keep up with them!!!

I am not a huge exercise person, I'll admit that, and that first 30kg came off with hardly any exercise at all. Why isn't it working now?

I need to be harder on myself! I give into temptation too easily! If I break the eating plan I give in on the exercise thinking there is no point now I have blown the food!

With regard to my meals, you are spot on Ani! I really can't be bothered cooking for just me, be it a meal for one or a meal to cover four nights. The thought of all that effort just for me...!!!

I really wish I could be like my dogs who have a bowl of Pal Dog Biscuits on the kitchen floor at all times. They eat when they are hungry and when I see the bowl getting empty I just top it up. They don't seem to get bored with the same thing day in and day out! They don't over eat because they know that bowl of food will always be there for when they want it. The cat is the same, although he gets half a tin of food in the evening too! None of my animals are overweight!!!

For now I'll probably stick to the lazy habit of microwave dinners, but I will start looking into some recipes and if the boredom takes over on a weekend I might actually cook something!!

So with what you said Ani, and with my research in mind, and knowing my habits, I am going to alter my challenge a little. My challenge now is not to do something for three weeks, it is to do something and stick to it for as long as possible. Starting tomorrow, I am going to count how many consecutive days I can stay on track! To stay on track will be:

50 squats each morning
30mins Step-ups each evening
Calorie intake 1600 - 1700 cals
2 litres water a day

If I fall off the track, I start from day one again and my goal then will be to do better than before.


I need to also change my way of thinking too. If I lose weight in a week that is good...but I won't expect it every week! If I stay the same in a week, that is also good! And a gain in a week is not good but, if I did the right thing for the week, sh*t happens so deal with it! If I gain for a few weeks in a row and I am sticking to my plan, then I will need to reassess my plan...I have to learn from it and not go into self-sabotage mode!!!

My ultimate goal...I want to have reached my goal weight by the end of this year (I think that gives me lots of breathing space )

Short term goal, 80kg by the end of February!

Again, thankyou Ani...your post really help!

Hmmm...I wonder how many calories I burned off typing that

Hey all

Ladies ladies what is happening? Firstly Kathy i feel for you and was so sorry to hear your news. Please take it easy on yourself and let your body heal won't you. My thoughts are with you

Lindor...you seem to know exactly what you should be doing but why aren't you? I don't mean that nastily, but do you know your reasons for not sticking to your diet. When you know the answers you might be on that track you were on last year. I truly believe that dieting is not only about the food we should and shouldn't be eating but why we are doing it. Are you happy with your wieght at the moment. If the answer was no, you have to keep saying that to yourself every time you want to eat something (other than for hunger) why am i eating this? Is is boredom(yeah i know how that feels when you have been on the diet for so long)? OR is it true hunger. It does sound like your body is in starvation mode. You need to "mix it up a bit" and change your routine. I know i am not the "model student" and please do not take this the wrong way as you definitely inspire me and have stuck by me time and time again sooooo....please keep "your eye on the prize" and think this as the start of your diet and not the end. You know that the end is harder and your body will hang onto every god damn bit of excess it can(espesially if you are not giving it enough).

I personally wouldn't worry too much about the exercise thing just at the moment. You know your body can lose weight without it(it just helps to keep things going). I feel you should get your head in the right place first before adding something you are not too keen on anyhows. I know i hate the exercise thing and when things get tough i try to concentrate on just the diet first and when i get my head right,,,,then the exericise feels a bit better.

When i lost most of my weight the weeks i ate something different than the day before was the weeks i lost the most.
I beleive you should eat protein at every meal and not the full-on carbs first thing in the morning. I eat eggs/veg or yoghurt and fruit and occassionally some WW Cereal with skim milk. If is snack it is always on protein(keeps you feeling fuller for longer) and not on some fruit which will boost your insulin levels too quickly and you will feel hungry again soon. Nibble on your nuts(but only a handful), eggs, even some cold meat. Try to only have starchy carbs once a day and in no time you will see a difference i promise. Just cut back on your bread, rice, pasta, cereals and your body will adjust its insulin levels and then you will burn fat more effeciently. I hope that made sense to you. It worked for me and my 60kg fell off in only 8 months. I am back to that and i can honestly tell you that i am never hungry and i am on track again. I can send you my diet if you like as i would be only too happy to help you my friend

Ani...I'll get to you tommorrow...i raved on too much.
Me...still on track and going good xxxxleeny

PS...Augigi...you put the jinx on me...,TOM about 10 days early for me...that's very strange...i am usually spot on 28 days. Hows it going for you? Diet wise i mean...xxxleeny

I've just sat here and spent the last hour typing and pressed submit and my computer ate my reply! I don't want to do it again but it was pretty much along the same vein as Lindor. Seems like the both of us are on the destructo wagon at the moment and can't get off.

Kathy. My thoughts are with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. In time it'll get easier.

I've been eating anything and everything and my butt's getting wider from all the sitting on it! It all seems way to hard! I did this programme a while ago that really works if you can make yourself stick to it. I managed to lose 38kg in 6 months on it and it stayed off for over a year. After our wedding in Nov 05 I got too comfortable and over a period of 11 months I gained 23kg's. In Oct last year I decided enough was enough and tried to go back on my programme but I just can't seem to stay with it this time. Its very boring and restrictive. A typical day consists of 1 egg and 75g veg for breckfast, 95g tuna and 120g veg for lunch, 110g meat and 110g veg for tea, 2 pieces of fruit and 5 crisp bread. The choices a limited. Any idea how many cals that would be? I can have 1ltr of diet soda a day, no milk.

Leeny, I wonder if I could have a copy of your diet please? You did sure slim didn't you?

I find if I have a list of meals already prepared for me its a whole lot easier for me to stick to. One thing I'm tired of is cooking a meal for me and one for the family, and I always pick at what I've made them anyway.

Lindor, would something like Lite and Easy work for you? All your meals provided and balanced. I know I couldn't afford something like that and shop for the family also, but for a single person it might be a good thing.

I promise that I'm going back to the gym tomorrow and I'm going to eat well. Tomorrow is the start of a new week and I want to start on the right foot!

I decided I'd better practice what I was preachin' this morning - so I have been good today. I even left the lean Cuisine in the freezer and made myself grilled low-fat chicken sausages with a really yummy green salad for dinner. I walked for an hour, drank plenty of water – and I feel happy with how things have gone.

Tomorrow is another day of course, but I've had a think today about what I want to achieve over the next three months. Unlike everyone else here, I can't seem to drop several kilos in a short space of time - and I don't want to either. The important thing for me is to change life-long bad habits, and turn them into good ones – and sometimes I have to sit down and write in my journal for a few weeks before I even begin to understand some of the reasons for my destructive behaviour.

Over the next three months I am going to lose the next 5kg. As I said, I'm slower than everyone else - and that's absolutely fine with me. I'm not in a race, I'm on a journey.

I know how to lose weight - and I know the speedbumps that have slowed me down. I'm getting to know my strengths and my weaknesses …

So many women in here seem to be going through a hard time. But it's important to remember we're still here. We haven't quit! And good on all of us for that.

Barb, hang in there with us. Even though some of us are struggling, or having trouble with our motivation (or in my case, unpredictable hormones) it's times like right now that are the most important. These are times when it's most dangerous, because people lose heart and give up. And I don't want any of us to do that.

Even if you maintain your current weight for a few months (and I personally think that both Lindor and Barb aren't eating enough), it's still a win. Refusing to allow those kilos to creep back on is a win.

Here's my challenge to everyone for this week: What ONE thing can you change this week to make your healthy lifestyle work for you?

Mine is going to be that I will only eat frozen dinners 3 nights - and will cook something for myself on the other 4 nights in the next week. A small change maybe … but one that goes in the right direction.

:-)
Ani

Ani, I wish I had your patience for this game! I need to see progress! If I don't see changes I very quickly get frustrated and annoyed and then I give up!

It's like my small garden out the back! I have just planted some grass out there...three days on nothing has changed! I am at the point of wondering what the point of watering it is now!!!

It's funny! You lot here know more about my character and personality than most of the people in my immediate life! I am a person who keeps my emotions to myself, yet you have all seen me frustrated, happy, angry, excited, miserable...and you have all seen things that trigger these emotions too! Just goes to show how personal this weight-loss thing is - and with you all, I am glad I am not alone!

Anyway Ani, well done on yesterday! I stuck to plan perfectly yesterday too! I did find it hard allowing myself that PM snack though! Had to keep telling myself it was not a bad thing that I was eating then! Is this a taste of an anorexics life?

I think I am going to follow you and try cooking some meals rather than living entirely on microwave meals. I will go shopping at some point this week and get some ingredients in my pantry. I will then plan to cook a couple of meals on the weekend that I will break up into four portions and freeze them for the weeks to come - to break the monotony of cardboard box dinners!!!



Leeny, thankyou too for the time you put into your reply. Why is it when we know that something works, in your case the diet that lost you your 60kg, why can we not pick it up and do it again? Seems Barb is in the same place too!

I swore when I started this diet that I would not cut out foods completely nor make radical and drastic changes to the foods I eat. I don't want to feel this is a punishment. I want to eat what I like still, I just want to learn control! Portion size and when to eat!

Having said that though, I'd be happy to take a look at your diet plan from before. I might get some ideas from it that might help in breaking the boredom of this.

So, on to today...

...after my whinging and moaning yesterday and my three or four days of being a pig, I still somehow managed to drop 1kg! Makes my dummy-spit back there seem even more pathetic!!!

I feel refreshed today, even more so after my weigh-in! The question now is, how many consecutive days can I stick to my plan...

Lindor it doesn't matter how many days you can stick to your plan. The only thing that is important is what you're going to do TODAY to help you have a healthier lifestyle :-).

In saying that, I think it's important to plan meals ahead of time - I know I have better weeks when I am able to plan my meals and shop ahead of time. If I have plenty of food in the house I avoid that feeling of "depriving myself". So this week I'm going to try and do that - I'll sit down today and plan what I'm going to eat this week, and then go and buy whatever I need.

What do you buy for snacks? I have a variety of things that are around 150 calories or less - ranging from "fun size" chocolates, to Weight Watchers ice-cream, and Uncle Toby's breakfast bars. I keep them in the house so that I'm not tempted to "slip down to the shop" and buy chips or something else equally bad. I don't eat them every day, but knowing I can have a "treat" takes away that feeling of "I'm having to deprive myself of yummy things".

I lost 0.6kg this week, and I'll take that. I am back to 95kg, and am going to work hard this week to get somewhere in the 94's by next Monday. If my hormones aren't too ridiculous over the next month I'm going to try and get below 93kg by the end of February.

Today I'm going to walk, do some situps, drink plenty of water… and eat well.

I hope everyone else has a great week.

:-)
Ani

Hi all

Hope everyone is well and sticking to their plan as best they can. I have just finished watching a programme on TV on SBS called Diet wars. Very interesting...talking about all the diets and why they work or not..nutritionally sound or not, easy,hard healthy or not. Now i am more confused than ever. The end result was to eat less and exercise more. Cut back on the refined carbs and bad fats.(yes Lindor yoour nuts have good fats remember). They said 9 out of 10 people who incorporate nuts into their diet in moderation have far less heart disease and that has to be a good thing eh!

Been pretty good today so far even though i don't think i have lost much this week. I can't really expect to though after my big loss last week. My body is just adjusting i 'spose this week. I wish i could consistently lose and not fluctuate from week to week.

Lindor and Barb...hope you are on track today and not too down on yourself. I s'pose the reason i didn't completely follow my diet from last time was that it was too restricitve. I think that is why i gained weight again. I was soooo desperate for certain foods that i overindulged on them when i was skinny. Sooooo this time....no restrictions(in moderation of coarse). I don't feel like i am on a diet as such but the weight loss is slower. That pi...es me off at times but i know i am being healthy so thats what counts.

Anyhow, the troups have just walked in so i must go and chat to them...time for a swim i think....too hot here todayxxxleeny

I dragged myself off to the gym today. My heart wasn't in it but I'm glad I made myself go! I need to get those feel good endorphins flowing again!

Have eaten really well today so far, I even managed to drink 2ltrs of water by 2.30, could even get another one in by the end of the day!

Ani, thank you for your advice and support, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Its TOM for me next week and for the last 3 weeks I've either been on the verge of tears or really ANGRY for no apparent reason. Dh came out last week waving a white hankie saying he's not the enemy! You can imagine how that made me feel! I headed straight for the kitchen. I think my hormones are on a roller coaster! I've noticed that the older I get the more I have these mood swings. Today I feel pretty even!

I don't want to obsess about losing weight. At some points I would weigh myself at least a dozen times a day, constantly be thinking about what food I should eat next, and if I needed to go out I would worry, what if I get hungry! Thats terrible isn't it! I want this to be just another part of life, something that you do autmatically. It doesn't make it any easier when you have no real idea how to eat! I have so much info about diet and weight loss that its all become too confusing! I think I'll just consentrate on making healthy choices, eating smaller portions (but not bird sized!) and getting some exercise. It should work. I'm like Lindor and Leeny, if I can't see results I give up. I want to be thin, I want to be happy and I think I deserve to be!

Quote:
What ONE thing can you change this week to make your healthy lifestyle work for you?

My one thing is to not eat anything besides fruit in the evenings (this is when I find it the hardest)

XX
Barb