For those who asked about the pouch... Actually, no. There's no hope of it ever going away. And I can't disguise it with clothing, either. Even my daughter, bless her sweet heart, looks at me and says things like (meant in the most caring of ways) "Mom, geez.. you have a great body, if you just didn't have that pouch thing!" *sigh* It's not small, it's not a little pooch of skin, it's this great fold from when I was monstrously pregnant (because of course I didn't have babies, I had toddlers - or calves), and very overweight on top of that, and ended up having two c-sections. The rest of me is do-able. I sag here and there, but yaknow, I'm in my 40's, I've lost over 40 pounds (this time), the sag here and there is understandable. But that ... *thing* hanging off my front is simply disgusting. Who knows, perhaps with learning to do hoof care I can make enough money to pay for the tummy tuck. I know that somehow I need to get my frustration of not being able to wear cool jeans or have an even remotely flat tummy area out of the picture and focus on not what I will look like, but how I will feel. Problem is, even at this weight I feel pretty darned good. And knowing that even getting to my goal weight won't change my stomach area is very discouraging. It's not an excuse, I know that. I just need to find something in me that's going to motivate me past this obstacle like I've found motivators to get me past other obstacles. Gah. This weekend I WILL PICK UP HEADPHONES!! Jolly? Chach? Red, Derry, Happy, everyone.. hold me to that one, ok?? I WILL PICK UP HEADPHONES! And another Alice DeeJay CD. And I will start running this weekend again. I will. Make me. Hold me to that one. I'm sick and tired of not accomplishing. Someone get out the cattle prod!!

Derry - I understand about not giving up, if I were giving up, I wouldn't be here. I have things to work through, and I've worked through a huge amount of them in the last year and a half or so with the help of 3FC. Identifying the stumbling blocks is difficult for me sometimes, but I continue to work with identifying and then destroying them. One way or the other, I will get through this, as I said in my last post.

Red - Bestiality.. *rofl* Should I start feeling guilty now everytime I look at my horse's rear end and admire it!??? My daughter is always comparing her butt to her horse's, too. Shadow has a BIG butt, and it's so fun to watch her walk from behind because she has that lazy western rollllll to her hips, even though my daughter rides english. My boy has a big butt, too, great for leaning on in the pasture, but he's a shorty, so it just doesn't seem quite as impressive, and it tends to bounce, not roll. What is your mare mixed with? I've heard that halflingers can be ... interesting horses to deal with. And if I remember correctly, the last time we talked about your mare's disposition she seemed very independent and had a 'tude. Which is not a bad thing.. look up 'tude in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of my daughter with her horse. Poor Eve, being a TB, has a rather scrawny butt, but boy is her chest deep. 'Course, poor dear needs to put on some poundage, too. Perhaps that rear end will fluff up some. One can hope.

Jolly - A step class. I hate you. No, actually, I'm just admiring you all over the place. I love the turnaround you've made. You are inspiring me every day, you make me understand that even if I stumble along for a while, it doesn't mean I've failed. I'm just stumbling along, that's all it means. Thank you.

Chachee - I do hope you realize that flying down here makes you obligated to ride a horse. Have you tried your pilates yet? The first time I did it I wanted to throw a brick through the TV set, but I decided I'd give it an honest try and said if I couldn't stand it after 6 weeks, I'd give up and that would be that. After about 3 weeks, I saw noticeable results and it started to actually get fun. I need to start doing it again, because it truly does work. The mat will definitely help protect your spine when you're doing work on your back, and it helps stop your feet from sliding, too. A decent mat doesn't cost much, I think I paid all of $12 for mine.

I think I've been fighting a virus. It ocurred to me that I've been VERY tired, far more than is warrented, I've been vaguely sick to my stomack nearly every day, and I've been suffering muscle weakness, too. I'm feeling a little better today, but my daughter was complaining about it too, so I think maybe we both had a touch of something. Oh, and lets not forget the headaches. So who knows. It would be nice to start feeling good again though.

Raven, I see you are still lurking. Where is my email?? Hmmmm???

As payday approaches, I am feeling some "buyer's remorse" over all of the money I have blown on personal renovations. But, I am going to kick that demon to the curb. I can budget that money better for next year, but I NEED to take better care of myself. Some women have an innate sense of self - it sparkles through no matter what they wear or do. It isn't physical or genetics - it is just their confidence shining through. I don't have that - YET. So, I need to start on the outside, appreciate the differences the changes i have made have done, and develop that sense of self.

Have a great day all.

Hello Ladies.

Weigh in day for me today. I am probably going to stay the same, but that is okay for me. I plan on having a stellar week next week, with lots of activities to keep me busy. Plus, my mom is here a week from tomorrow. Very excited about that! That means my new shoes will be here! heehee!

Gosh, I am so excited, as I NEED (yes, indeed, girls--need) to go shopping this weekend. Hubby has an Air Force Senior NCO induction banquet/dinner thingy next Thursday night, and it's semi-formal. I have donated all my nice dresses to the abused women's shelter, as they were just too big for me. I have no dressy-dresses, so I have to go buy one. Now, whether the 3" pink leather mary jane's I want are really a necessity, I think I can sneak it by the hubby when he sees how gorgeous I look in the new dress I plan on finding. If you want to see the shoes I plan on buying, go to www.ninewest.com and look up Akiba. I want the pink ones. (Have a bit of a fetish lately with pink.) I think a nice black dress will look great with them. Now to find a black dress on sale so they balance each other out. Hmmm...sounds like a shopping mission, which I gladly accept.

My new clothes came in the mail yesterday that I ordered last month. I am returning two sweaters, because they are cute, but way too short for me. No matter how small I get, I have this weirdo thing about shorter tops and them not covering the tummy area. Just something I've always been strange about. The sweaters will fit after surgery, just not long enough. Plus, I am taller--5'8--and a lot of clothes are cut for smaller ladies. I've just got a really tall frame-build.

Okay, onto my ladies...

Red: See, now you know two people from Alaska. (By the way, no one is really "from" here, I think we all immigrate!) Sounds like the heat is really bad in your area. I moved up here to get away from the heat. This is the hottest Summer I can remember in 7 years, and it's almost unbearable at times. Raven can attest to it, that 80 degrees up here feels like 100 anywhere else. So friggin hot! You run 5K a day? Wow, mucho impressed!

Derry: Great numbers. It really helps to see them, huh? I have had three gains since February, so I am happy about that. Could have been a lot bigger! Oh, remember my friend Lindsay? She joined WW last week. I don't know if she is that into it, but it's a step. I saw her weight, by accident, and she weighed in at 247. She is at most 5'2. A lot of weight to lose. She made a comment that it was expensive, so I put it in perspective--it's only the same cost as two trips to McD's a week, and she goes there almost daily. So, I'm happy that she is attending and praying she sticks with it. She should lose at least 5 this week if she has stayed OP. Keep her in your thoughts.

Jolly: Hey, don't do that to yourself about taking care of you! Personal renovations are much needed, and I think they are essential to keeping your own self-confidence where it should be. Yeah, the checkbook might be a little tight, but you needed an "overhaul" and it sounds like everyone did a great job on you! Weekend is quickly approaching. Any plans? I am getting a haircut and it's my son's 3rd birthday this weekend. The party isn't until next weekend, but I am going to take him out and have some fun. I think if we keep busy, then I won't want to sit around and just eat.

Raven: Okay, I'm counting on you to have a new headset and new Alice DJ's cd. That is a great CD for cardio workouts! Get on that treadmill, pump those weights, and get back into it! If I ever win the lottery, you are getting your tummy tuck! You deserve it!! I'm gonig to look into that mat for pilates.

Alrighty, lovely ladies, I'm off to get some work done. Keep sending skinny vibes my way, as I am hoping to have a nice weigh in. I'm not stressing, as I did so much weight-workouts this week, that I don't expect a whole lot. I've got a big smile on my face and new pants (size L) on, so it's a great day!

Chach

Hey hey hey .. Define "FROM" !! *lol* I was born up there, does that count? My brothers were both born up there before AK was even a State, it was still a territory.

Here are the skinny vibes Chachee. And here's a little nudge in the headphone direction for you Raven. And, where's my e?????

everyone else, hope you are having a super day, and staying cool in this oh so lovely weather.

Chach!!! So glad to hear Lindsay is going to WW now, that weight of hers is certainly a challenge, but I know people who've done it! 80 in Alaska does sound unimaginable, and I am sure no one has AC up there, or do they?
It's supposed to be 90 here today and very humid, but it IS July, so what am I complaining about?
Raven, I know you will run this weekend, I challenge you! You must carve out a specific time, plan on it and just do it!
I have kind of a pouch as well from having two C sections, I have seen it go down a bit these last week weeks. I know when they cut your stomach (ick) to get babies out that there are certain muscles or something that they probably cut through, also the scar tissue is thicker. I am doing abdominal work as well as walking on my treadmill and such and do find that it has helped somewhat, but I won't be walking around in a bakini any time soon!
Well, gotta run this morning! Take care!
Linda

Hello ladies!

Weigh in was good. Was down another 0.6. Should have been more, but I think the lady wrote the number down wrong. It should have been around 1.6, according to my scales (even factoring the difference in scales). It's okay, because I will have a huge loss next week and it's all going to come out in the wash! 34 total gone now since joining WW end of Feb.

Well, went shopping last night. Sears didn't have squat! I went to Burlington Coat Factory and found a couple of cute things. They just really didn't either fit right, or looked too loud for me. (I like simple, one color things in dressy stuff.) I was walking to the fitting room and found these really cute black dresses. Well, they looked cut small, but they had a 16 so I took it in. IT FIT! It's so cute! Comes right above the knees, has two ruffle-y type collars that lay flat and a really feminine hemline that is so fluttery and cute. Very age appropriate and very dressy. Killer part, other than it was a junior's 16, was that it was only $24.98!!! So, I went and bought a one-piece bra thingy, as I like to wear instead of slips, and cruised the shoes. Didn't end up getting the ones at Nordy's, because I found two pairs that were marked down. Very cute!! One pair more strappy-sandal type, clearanced to $9.98, the other is a 3" pump, looks like it's from the 40's with a cute rounded toe, was $19.98. Of course, I bought them both!

Paid a total of $69.97 for the dress, undergarment, and two pairs of shoes. Man, I'm good! Just love to shop. Went home and modeled it for the hubby. He was very impressed! I have to say I was looking like one sexy mama!!

So, it was a good night and I am ready to tackle this week head-on!!! Going to my fave mexican restaurant tonight, and going to have the taco salad, with no chips, just eat part of the bowl. Fills me up and has no meat, so it's not that bad. Plus, they use black beans and it's just wonderful!

A side-note about Lindsay. (My sabotage friend who made fun of me joining WW.) She showed up last night, weighed in and left. She lost, but not that much, so she said she had a bad day. She really needed to stay for the meeting and still attend the orientation, because I don't know if she is doing the program right. Here is the reason she had a bad day--she broke up with her live-in boyfriend about two months ago. Well, she's really snoopy, so she signed into his email account and checked his email. She found one from the Wedding Channel that said congrats on your upcoming wedding! Well, he got back together with his ex, with whom they have a 9 month old baby together and who he left for my friend and was still with his ex and lying about it to my friend. Now they are getting married and Lindsay is just devastated. I went through a similar situation, and I think until you get to the point of wanting to be a better person and live a better life, then so much resentment is not good. She said that she thought she would find someone before him and be able to throw it in his face. That hasn't happened and she said she's just pissed because he's happy and she isn't. So juvenile and immature. I just can't hear about it anymore, and if she is going to let it affect her life so much, then I can't be around it. I have more important things to worry about and I can't hear one day she doesn't care and hates him, then the next she's still hoping he'll come back. Very strange and she pursued him so heavily at the beginning that it's all coming back to haunt her. What else can I say? I doubt she'll be there next week, as I think her mom pushed her into joining, but if it's not the right time, then it's not the right time.

Ugh, sorry to off-load that on you all. Just really bothering me.

Okay, here's to a good week and a strong finish to this month. Let's all do well!

Chach

Chach - I'm sorry to hear about Lindsay, but.. as you said, if it's not the right time, then it's just not. As a side note though... she and my ex would make a GREAT couple since they both seem to have the same issues with people breaking up with them. *cough* Congrats on your shopping finds!! Ok, I'll hire you to do my shopping. I HATE clothes shopping. *twitch spasm*

Alright well, not only am I challenging myself to get headphones and one new CD this weekend (which will kind of impinge on the other challenge), but to start tracking my money assiduously. If I can really watch the money and be careful, then I won't constantly be battling this "OMG, I have 5 days till payday and there's no food in the house!" Or no gas in the car, or no food for the dogs or horses, or whatever else it is that I've run out of because of poor planning. I need to play catchup for a month, but mid-September I should be in ok shape. Of course, that doesn't take into account things like riding lessons, new saddles, tickets to Alaska, tickets to the Symposium in SC I desperately want to attend in October, etc. I just have to understand I have to plan to get what I want, and be patient. It's not easy sometimes. But I think that's easier than having these money related panic attacks every couple weeks.

Jolly - Your e-mail kind of jump started that thought in me, so ... it's all your fault.

Derry - I'll be really happy if I just get ON the treadmill at this point. Sometimes that is the biggest hurdle of them all. Just get moving. AC in Alaska is a rarity, that's for sure. What's odd is that the weather up there for the last several summers has been unreasonably hot. My father was having a terrible time with it before his accident. He was certainly not used to temperatures in the 80s and 90s.

Is it Friday yet!?!?! I'm bringing Nick into work with me tomorrow and she's going to earn a little money (only $25 but hey... it's something!) for doing some filing for me. With any luck, maybe we can bug out of work early and go hit Goodwill and see if we can find some cool stuff.

Hey all. Chachee, sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard sometimes, to deal with that. People who make their issues become yours.

I have to report a NSV. I rejoined TOPS Tuesday. the chapter I belong to does "food for thought." A food you should really try to limit or eliminate for one week. This week it was chocolate (and sundaes, but I am not into those.) Well, I like to have a low fat granola bar after my morning workout, and my granola bars have . . . you guessed it, CHOCOLATE! I was going to grab a doughnut this morning on the way to work, and instead, got a box of light fruit and grain bars to eat from. Hurray.

OK. Then, must confess to the NS bomb (which could become the scale bomb). I met a staff for lunch today. Felt we needed some bond time. And we went to this Pizza Buffet. I ate soooooooo much. They had all my favorites - fried mushrooms, cheesy ham soup. Of course, I couldn't just have a taste of each. I hadto eat enough for 3 sumo wrestlers. Ok. Maybe not three. But it was definitely more than I needed. I will try to balance it out by just having some fruit or yogurt for supper, if I am even hungry. But, still needed to confess.

Raven - way to go on the financial planning. You will appreciate it. At first it is hard, painful, embarassing, etc. But eventually, it does make a difference. You will see. Just stick it out. AND GET THOSE HEADPHONES!

Everyone else, I will check in on third shift tongiht, and hope to hear from you then. Have a good one.

Boy, I don't know what to say about Lindsay, particularly after hearing about her e-mail spying on her X, kind of sad. But, you know, it might lead her to lose her weight in the end as she will be convinced that she won't attract this guy back or get another one if she's that heavy???? Trying to look at it positively.
Chach, way to go with the shopping and dress thing! I went shopping today as well, however, I did not get a thing. I walked around the store while my daughter was trying on stuff and tried to "like" something and then just didn't see anything. The styles that are "in" seem to be either flouncy and weird (I am a very tailored person tastewise) or way too sporty looking. Nothing appealed to me and I did want to celebrate my weight losses by buying something as a treat. But, I can keep looking and that is fun!
Raven, just go for it with the treadmill, even if it's a short time, it will set you on the right path!
Jolly, so glad you went back to TOPS, and I would have probably have done the same thing at the pizza buffet thing. OH well, you just pick up the pieces and move on, that's all!
Raven, I wish I had some financial smarts, I am having panic attacks as well about money and here we go on vacation, not good timing. Doesn't everything seem SO expensive lately as well?
Linda

Hello all. I was hoping there would be some other night owls to hang out with. Red??? (Of course, I do realize it isn't night for you )

I managed without supper tonight. I had to try and get some sleep before work. Wasn't hungry before i went to bed, so it was ok. This is why I have to remind myself that buffets are not my friend. I hadn't been to that place in awhile, and it was sooooooo good, that I just can't beat myself up over it.

Until I look at my budget I did my bills tonight. My self renovation project has kind of thrown my finances for a loop. Oh well. Can't spend too much time regretting that either. Must just go with the flow.

I will have to stick with my financial and food budgets a little closer. That's all. I know what I need to do, and will do it. Period.

Well, I will head back to work now. I get to clean. Woo hoo. Catch you all later in the day.

Confession is good for the soul, right?

I'm going to be better with my money and watch my food. Why is it that I get that "one last fling" mentality going on? Because I can "one last fling" myself for weeks, and I know it. Yesterday I fell into that mentality. Wendy's for lunch, pizza for dinner. Not only horrible foodwise, but horrible budgetwise as well. Alright... if that was the "one last fling" then I need for it to be that, and I need to be accountable for that and not just let it swish around in my brain and somehow try to rationalize the whole weekend as a "last fling" and then figure "well crap, I blew the weekend, my budget, my food for this pay period, I'll just start next payday." I can't do that anymore. I've been doing that for how many months now? Enough is enough! Dang. Even I'm getting sick of my own excuses. *twitch*

I know I'm frustrated with the ex-husband and the child support issues. I'm tired of hearing him put his credit rating above his kids, I'm tired of not being able to buy these kids decent clothes, good educational material, or just *stuff* for God's sake. They have learned to do without, and they don't complain. Except about their Dad not being their Dad, but .. that's understandable. He says the house is "in closing" again. For the fourth time. And that if it actually closes this time, he'll send a lump sum of money for stuff - lord knows what his idea of a "lump sum" is... and then he'll be moving down here in October, as we planned. Right now, Nickie doesn't even care anymore. She's sick of hearing from him how he "will only stay for a year, because he hates GA" and he doesn't want to "make any promises he can't keep." Personally, I think he already made a promise when those kids were conceived, and he's broken it so many times it may not ever be fixable. When I talk to him about paying the full amount of child support he actually would owe if I filed for a review, he threatens to take me to court over the kids "lack of an education." He threatens to have them tested, and if they don't do well on the tests, to petition for custody. Yes, that scares the pants off me, to be honest. I am working hard to educate them, and I know the public schools totally suck and were mentally killing my children. And I also know that my son can't test out worth SNOT because he's ADHD, and can't sit still long enough to take written tests. He learns in very short bursts, and I work with that, but standardized testing does not. OTOH, it kills me because again, he's more concerned with punishing me by threatening that than supporting his kids by either being here with them or supporting them financially.

The best I can come up with at this point is to see if the house closes by the end of this month as it is supposed to. If it does, we'll see what happens. If it doesn't.... I just feel like these kids are being cheated out of a father AND out of the financial support they deserve. ****, if I made enough money, I'd tell him to take his money and shove it. But I don't. Not any more. And he's so much more worried about paying his credit card bills that he ran up with his second (ex now) wife and her kids, or not having to give up his truck and his jeep and his camper... *sigh* I'm sorry. I'm venting. This situation really bothers me. It's been bothering me for a long time. What pisses me off so much is that he keeps saying things like "in a couple (read 5) years, I'll have my bills paid off and I'll be able to afford more for the kids." Uh... even when I remind him that hey wow, in 5 years you won't have to PAY child support anymore, it doesn't sink in with him that he's being a moron. *tearing out my hear* Ok. I'll stop now. I just am sick to death of seeing my kids shortchanged. Cheated out of a Dad, AND out of the support he owes. And then being threatened by him because I actually want him to pay the honest amount he should be paying, regardless of what the arrangement was between us 11 years ago, because then I made a LOT more money than I do now. It just feels so disheartening.

ANYway... I worked Shadow's rump off in the "round pen" last night. Worked mine off too. Of course, then went and ate myself into oblivion, sooo.... yeah. I'm staring at my water bottle now - all 64 oz of it - and wondering why I fight with myself so much.

Good morning everyone, I've been trying to get a reply out but just haven't found the time. The overwhelming amount of posts has stopped me as well because there seems to be so much to address that I give up due to lack of time. But this is getting ridiculous and now it's the weekend, usually a down time for you all, so I'm just going to get something out there before I have to leave for work.

I experienced, did, allowed, put myself through another binge last night. Now, strange thing is, I don't usually binge in such a bad way but last night I did. I just kept going and going, it was like I was making up for all the good I've done over the weeks. I even made two extra runs to convenience stores and stayed up way late just to keep eating. It was horrible. I was out of control and yet somehow controlled. Well, I guess there's no control about it is there? I was just intent on eating. Damn and damn again. Today, naturally I feel hung over from all the garbage I dumped into my system. Even in the midst of my binge I wrote everything down in my food journal. And Raven, talk about last fling mentality, this was that again, having my fun while knowing all along I would be back on the straight and narrow today. What goes?! Damn. Stupid way of doing things. I wasn't emotional about it at all. I was calm and well aware of what I was doing. I could have easily stopped. And that's what was so strange. Well, maybe it's a step in the right direction. I have never done that before. My binges when I was younger were out of control. I couldn't have stopped. I was driven. This last night was something I felt I was doing out of spite or something.

And I think therein may lie the answer. It was out of spite, to a perceived slight, a shunning, being ignored, this is how I felt all day, how I feel all week actually, in general. At times, though, the being ignored is more cutting, more specific and it sets these spiteful binges off. Instead of just being grateful that I have something I think is worth recognition I get upset that I am not being recognized and then sabotage myself in an unconscious, "well, if no one likes it, no one appreciates it, then fine, I'll just eat myself into the ugly, worthless, useless, lump you make me feel like." It's a giant pout is what it is. And then I feel stupid for realizing this is how petty I am and how childish, talk about 3-year-olds throwing tantrums, jolly, I've got a little monster on my hands here and she is a tyrant. She must be annihilated.

Right, so with these insights I am going out to meet the world again today. Back into the office where someone smashed the door the other day in a rage. Big heavy glass door was totally spiderwebbed. God, that must have hurt. I saw it yesterday, know the young guy who did it. He went AWOL after that but I talked to his boss yesterday who said he'd been looking for him for the past three days. The young guy finally contacted the boss, sounded mentally in a bad way but was alive at least, the boss said. People had feared the worst because he seemed to have really lost it. When I heard that he sounded bad, since I had the guy's mobile phone number, I decided to call him because I figured maybe he'd be feeling might embarrassed after the ruckus he caused in the office and thought I'd show some concern. In any case, I thought he could use someone to talk to. Talked with him and he sounded fine, glad I had called. I don't even know him, have only read and rewritten some of his articles. So it was kind of weird for me to be calling him but I did and I'm glad I did. But after all that, my own feelings of being ignored for other projects I'm trying to get off the ground at work, still bothered me and I continued my eating binge.

Alas, such is life. And the heat isn't helping here although it has been better than it was earlier in the week. Gotta keep plugging away. Count my blessings, right?

Over to you all. . . .

******

Derry -- Are you on vacation yet? When do you leave? Yes, let's compete. But you have to dare me. Tell me all the reasons I probably WON'T win. Really lay it on heavy, be the opposite of caring and supporting and you will awaken my strengths. I rise to a challenge. I am good with adversity but bad with having things easy. Of course, if it's all adversity I'll burn out but since no one I'm around knows about "healthy adversity" I get so lazy. Do you know what I mean? It's this blend of what looks really strict and mean and true caring, true support. Usually you can't find it in one person so you have to try to fill in on your own but, really, I love a dare. It awakens this rebellious imp in me.

Oh, and Derry, I loved that you wrote your weight loss progress. The numbers really showed how small each week's loss was and yet, there at the end of it was a great 10-lb. loss. This is so what I need to get myself through. This is what throws me. I told you I'm a hare type and I need to understand and truly value the tortoise approach to the race. I don't. I'm arrogant and rash and think I can do something slap dash and fast and guess what, that's the way it ends up, slap dash, poor quality, in this case, no significant progress, no significant weight loss. The same shat over and over again.

I liked your pep talk earlier. The question, why am I doing this? is an important one. I haven't been asking it. The "wanting to lose weight" has just become something that is always there, always hanging over me like a big ugly cloud and I have lost sight of the "WHY?" I'm going to reflect on that, write it down, put it on some posters in my room and keep it in my head. Thanks!

Everyone, I've got to run. It's time to get to work. I'm going to get this out and get to the rest of you later. Any encouragement, dares, are very, very welcome!

Ciao!

Hello. Had a good day, considering the lack of sleep. Got pretty much everything done I needed to. I am so tired now, though, and really need to do my nails before I go to bed. Sigh.

Derry, I hope you have a good vacation. Enjoy yourself. Then budget like crazy when you get back Raven, like I said in my email. I don't know how you aren't in jail for strangling the out of the selfish creep. Red, I hope you are taking better care of yourself today. After all, as Scarlett said "Tomorrow is another day."

My eating today was pretty good, all things considered. I did have some caffeinated diet soda, but did not give in to the cappuchino I wanted, or any sugared stuff to stay awake. Small victories, but that's ok.

Have a great evening all, and will check in later.

Raven, I am so sorry to read your predicament with your X. So often I hear of these things going on and I think that it totally sucks. I think you ought to take your chances and utilize the law to get him to pay. He's threatening you to scare you and I doubt her really wants custody of those kids as he certainly isn't being a "good" father and doting on them, from what you have said. Call his bluff! Be bold!
I know several people who home school and they do it well. I hope you are one of those. Don't know much about the public schools in your area, are they really all that bad? I know I could never home school my kids, as I just feel educationally inadequte as well as lack the discipline to focus on teaching day in and day out.
At any rate, sounds like you X is a munipulative son of a B____.
So, Red, you want a challenge, eh? Hmmmm..... so here goes. I am a nag, my kids tell me, so I can truly start nagging you here. Though, with me going away as of tomorrow morning (probably won't be posting, or if I do, it will be short) it is hard to nag long distance without a computer to work with!
Let me see.... here is a dare/challenge for you. I'll just bet that even if I am on vacation, eating out and lazing around, I can lose more weight than you do when you are home and do not have all the temptations that I will have.
And, why the heck would you do that binge thing when you knew perfectly well how destructive that was? There are so many ways to make yourself feel better, foodwise, and to feel full Have some self control, dear!
You are your own worst enemy, it seems, when it comes to this "goal" you have set for yourself, my dear. WHY do you want to lose weight? Good question, think I will challenge us all to review that while I am gone. I want to come back and see that you have figured that out!
Also, I challenge, you all to do at least 20 minutes of exercise each day while I am gone, I will be trying to do at least that every day as well to counteract the lobster roll and fried clams I might eat! Might even have an ice cream, so will have to work out hard to counteract that!
Linda