Yay MissLoud calling BS on that McDonald-lovin' hooker!!! A fast food lunch doesn't have to mean a lost day and cheers on proving that!

martini: Well done making the harder good decision of water for chocolate especially feeling fragile as you were. It's easy in the bubble to make good decisions but harder out there in the real world surrounded by temptations we've been conditioned to substitute for real emotion. I'm glad you're getting a few days off to just re-energize your spirit. That emotional exhaustion is no good.

I didn't go to bed till about 2-2.30 this morning so it was a nightmare getting up this morning and I didn't get my workout in. BUT I miss the workout high so much, I'll try to leave a little earlier today to get some sort of workout in after work. I'm determined. I'm battling the hunger monster. I ate my lunch by like 10a.m. even though on fast days like today, I tend not to eat till 2pm at least but I was soooo ravenous. I had to go to the bank which is in a shopping mall with a grocery store. Lunch (of an egg white mushroom basil omelette) eaten, I was trawling the aisles looking for something low-cal to eat, like maybe a light cup of soup powder packet or something but alas all I found was a tub of mini-crackers (5 calories per cracker) and something canned in tiny little cans called "dressed lobster" which is not particularly tasty but at least feels meaty and somewhat proteinously-filling at 43 calories for the whole can. So whereas I like to be under 200 calories before dinner on fast days, I'm now at 238 cals so goodness knows what I'm going to do for dinner! Sigh!!!

I know the source of ravenous hunger is that it's TTOM and so I'm mentally prepared BUT it doesn't mean I'm not ravenous. I should have packed a larger salad. However, have you noticed that TOM cravings are never salad for some reason. It's always for like crunchy salt with some salt sprinkled on top or for Sweety McSweets-A-Lot... and unfortunately those never come in as low cal as raw veggies in a salad. I've just got to push through and keep reminding myself why and stick around here today.

I hope you all have a great day.

Thank you everyone for the well wishes. So I am having a hard time getting back into the food. I have mostly been on a liquid diet for 3 days now and have had some applesauce and 1/2 of bananas. Anyone have suggestions to getting back into eating....nothing sounds good But I know I need to start somewhere!

Jenni - Yay for not being sick! I know exactly what you mean - after eating little to nothing for days either because of sickness or a deliberate fast, it's really hard to convince yourself to eat again. On days like these, it feels like anorexia would be an easier choice than eating a healthy diet. I don't know what your food restrictions are beyond limiting carbs, so I am just going to suggest what I typically do. I find bland foods with high water content to be soothing and easy to digest, so I do soups, oatmeal or other hot cereals, and maybe crackers. I tend to stay away from dairy because of the phlegm issue. I eat slowly and space it. And, at least in my experience, eating stimulates my interest in food, and it gets easier from there. Hope you are fully recovered soon.

Toasted - Your sleeping issues sound awful. Lack of sleep has a horrible effect on my diet and exercise motivation and patterns. So glad you're sticking around here as you push through it. And I love the way you phrase things! Sweety McSweets-A-Lot cravings, I know thee well. And I have been sipping hot cinnamon herbal tea as I read through these. My throat hurts badly, so water is not going down well. I really crave Coke when my throat feels this way, but I don't have access to any at my office, and I'm not about to go out to get any. Yay for laziness and limited access to soda today! And missing the work-out high. How awesome is that? Means you're getting back in the groove.

Martini - I have missed you so much! I am glad you are back and posting. And you know what? Knowing that you just have to get through it is a huge part of the battle. Hoping that the pain is limited. And hooray for entertaining complainer guy! Also hoping that the time away from the office provides a much-needed mental respite. Feeling exhausted is the worst. I have so much admiration for your wisdom and your strength. And please don't be impressed about the candy. It's well-guarded by my husband. All of the packages are sealed, and I am never home unless he's there. I am incredibly irresponsible around available food, but even I couldn't bring myself to stealthily steal his candy, especially because I watched him choose it so meticulously to get the perfect mix for the Halloween crowd. Trick-or-treating is tonight in my community, so when he opens the candy and mixes it up, I will be most at risk.

MissLoud - And I think you have found the key to long-term success. Not perfect, but making the choice after be a good one. We will make bad choices. We will make choices that are inconsistent with weight loss goals but consistent with life goals--like eating with family or for special meals. But the choice after is the key one. And you rocked it. As Toasted so eloquently put it, you successfully told that McDonald's-pushing hooker to shove it. WTG.

Diane - Back in the swing of things after your hunting trip! Glad they mixed up Body Pump and you are definitely feeling your work-out, but not in a "Can I function" way. So glad you're around.

Uber - Fitness NSVs and clothing NSVs. Paired with scale-friendliness (or at least, not hostility), these are all things that prove that all of this effort and mental energy is worth it. And I am really looking forward to not having to shed as many pounds to see a difference in clothing sizes. Paper towel theory, baby. Paper towel theory.

Mandy - You are the antithesis of almost everything I do. Your meticulous planning would make me crazy and would trigger my OCD tendencies. And I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that you do it! I can't have junk food in the house. You manage to deal with it. I avoid baking because I can't restrain myself from eating all of it. Not you. And yet, we are both having success. And while our bodies may or may not have different physiological challenges, all these differences are largely psychological. It makes me so much less judgey to see how successful you are applying such different strategies. And everyone could stand to be a bit less judgey, methinks.

Uber, again - YES on finding a midway point between Weight Loss Express and being marooned in Fatland! I loved the exchange between you and Toasted about feeling either bulletproof or bullet-riddled. We are all at some point on the continuum between the two, and we all seem to travel back and forth along that continuum. It's the support of this forum that helps me recognize that I am not the only one who hasn't gotten it all figured out yet.

197.0. Again. On plan with food yesterday, and a 2-mile run. And I am finding I can't care a lot about it today. I'm sick. I also made a mistake at work that, although I fixed it fairly easily, could have been disastrous. It reminded me of my glaring weaknesses. I am actually really good at the challenging, but sometimes get hyperfocused and miss the routine. And the hooker in my head was saying, "Who cares that you did (these tasks that were, in some ways, extraordinary)? If they can't trust you to do even this routine tasks correctly, you are worthless." I told my boss what happened immediately, and he and I figured out a way to fix it, and then I fixed it. He had no recriminations, and later complimented me on the way that I had handled another, far more difficult, matter. But...

The voice in my head, which is fed by the cloudy, miserable world of sickness, is telling me that sugar will make all of this better. Not chocolate, because the phlegm would aggravate the mucous that has invaded my entire head. But candy corn and mallow pumpkins and sour patch kids and swedish fish. And the reason I'm not eating them by the fistfuls right now is that they aren't right here in front of me. But Beggar's Night is tonight, with my husband's treasure trove of candy. Don't know how I'm going to handle it. Don't care at this point in my life. Gonna drink another full jar of the cinnamon herbal tea that is soothing my miserable throat, go and lift some heavy weights, and sit in my office and wallow in my misery. =)

Ugggg Laurie...I am so sorry your sick too!!!!! I hate sore throats!!!! My problem is I was so violently throwing up nothing sounds good I will take your advice those sound better being bland! I hope you feel better! And remember you are doing great!!!! Those candy corns and mallows may sound good but in the long run they probably won't make you feel better! Hang in there!!!

Mandy Congrats on being an Auntie! And I'm sure your time is coming soon!

MissLoud You made me laugh telling off that Mcdonald's hooker! GO YOU!

Toasted Oh my gosh. I related so much to what you wrote! You know, when I was losing, I did feel like "one of the golden ones..." It was like this magic fairy dust got sprinkled on me and all of a sudden I could do the thing that I had desperately wanted to do for YEARS but never been able to do before. It was just this awesome, beautiful, incredible, wild ride. Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I was mildly manic for about two straight years. The incentive for me to start losing was literally THE DAY after a book I wrote sold in a big old auction and I realized that my career was taking off. Then, I started losing all this weight, which in and of itself made me feel like a rock star. I felt mildly contemptuous of people who struggled. I didn't understand why they didn't just decide to do it. I definitely suffered from "zeal of the convert" syndrome. But, then, my little golden streak came to an end and I had to deal with real life problems again, and then, some family members got sick and I had to deal with bigger problems, and lo and behold, back to 285 for me. So no more smug, no more wondering why some people seem to sit in the mid-240s forever, no more wondering why EVERYONE doesn't take up running and get a personal trainer and lift... and well, you know. Because being perfect forever is obviously NOT a very good strategy, so now I'm trying to come up with a better strategy, one that includes coping with frequent mess ups, and with not being exactly where I want to be. In short, real life.

Laurie Hope work is giving you a break!

Jenni Sure hope you are feeling better.

Diane You are so right about how the improvement in the daily things is really what makes a difference! Plus, what really makes me happy is that I was so worried about burning myself out that I started REALLY SLOW, just walking my kid to school every day, which is only about 20 minutes, plus my once a week beach walk. I hardly even noticed I was doing it, and that was enough to get me up off the couch and active again. Now, it's easy to go out for a 4 mile walk-- no sweat.

Martini Oh BOY do I relate to that! This reminds me of a week or so ago when I literally stood in the candy aisle looking at the chocolate, holding it in my hand, and then I didn't buy it. A lot of the time, I'm fine and my weight loss struggle is just about choosing the right foods or trying to watch my servings, just normal stuff. But when I'm in the throes of feeling like something is wrong and the only thing that will fix it is eating a specific thing (often candy or sweets for me) then I have to use every single trick in the book and still I struggle. Thank God, I don't struggle like that every single day. If I did, I would literally go nuts! I'm so thrilled that you are finding good things to help you through these tough times and you succeeded in replacing chocolate with water for the win!

So, me, the scale hooker made me go UP a pound today, for absolutely no apparent reason, but I'm trying to be calm about it. I know that the lose then bounce thing is just what I do.... REALLY want to see 245-- which is the 40 lb mark for me. Besides that, not much going on.

Hi all. Just checking in quickly. I want to keep in the habit, but I don't have a lot of time. Just wanted you all to know that I'm thinking about you!! Hope everyone is well!

Evening check-in!

Uber - That stupid everlovin' scale. Mine, cousin to yours, is completely indifferent to my hard work the past few days. Mine went up more than a pound. But I'm totally on your side here. You freaking deserve 245! And then way lower than that!

My husband is passing out candy, and he's got most of it gone. I restricted myself to a single Laffy Taffy. Didn't even want the chocolate. This stupid cold is good for something.

Decided to hit the gym after work, even though I didn't really want to. I promised myself that I could half-*** it if I wanted to. And I fully intended to half-*** it. But I didn't. I actually kind of killed it. Who knew? And I felt much better for the next hour, though I'm feeling pretty exhausted now.

Two weird weight loss "compliments" that I wanted to share. And I have decided to share without comment.

The boss, whose office is right next to mine. I have been working on finishing the basement, and I was using a concrete nail gun which had a serious kickback and caused some swelling and bruising. I showed my boss to prove how tough I was. "Why didn't someone with more bulk operate that?" he asked. I flexed for him, and said, "I'm really strong." And he said, "I know. I said bulk. You're losing a lot of bulk. I've noticed."

Trainer boy was at the gym, and it was just him and me there. He gave me a fist bump, and he said, "You are really improving your body composition," while tracing the contours of an hourglass in the air with his hands.

I think I'll probably take some meds and go to bed early. And it appears that it has been a pretty low-cal day. With a good work-out. Interesting.

Oh I hope everyone gets well soon! Hope I didn't pass it on to you guys lol!

Another fast day today, I'm struggling!!!! TOM is still AWOL so much so I took a pregnancy test! Negative thank goodness but I'm over a week now, so weird. Does dropping weight screw up your cycle?? Any who I thought I would post on here and then go and look for some health recipes on pintrest that I can try out this weekend.

Yay on the positive comments Laurie

Hi All, evening check in for me.

Miss Loud Yes, definitely losing weight can screw with your cycle, even if eventually it tends to make you more regular, also being sick sometimes messes with it, traveling... so you've got check, check and check. Hope you feel better soon!

Laurie You are ROCKING those comments! How I LOVE that trainer boy made an hourglass shape. you are TINY!

Bleh day. One of those days where I really ate a little more than I should have even though nothing I ate was spectacularly good. Was pissed about being up a pound and I feel really bloated today so I don't think tomorrow will be better. Looking forward to getting past Halloween. We don't have candy in the house except in closed bags for Halloween party at school, but I've been busy getting ready and I'd like things to settle down again.

Hey all, just checking in to cuss out the scale hooker. I've been on plan, so that erases my two pound loss and pushes me all the way back up to 249. I KNOW it must be bloat, but it's still so frustrating. Oh well. I'm going to hang it there!

Have a good day!

MissLoud - I don't really track my periods closely enough to know if weight loss messes with them, but I understand that it can. Glad you're not preggers. Hope you get the cycle figured out soon. You don't need that kind of stress.

Uber - Ugh on the feeling bloated and getting bad scale news. I am sorry the scale got to your head. It does it to me as well. Here's hoping for good news from the scale this morning. Sometimes, unexpected good news from the scale can have a really bolstering effect.

195.0. Down 2 pounds from yesterday, but yesterday was up an unexpected 1.4 pounds. So close to the bottom half of the 190s. I lost 7.2 pounds this month. And I am embracing what Jenni said. 7.2 pounds a month is not the pace I would prefer, but it is a pace that will get me to my goal.

Candy and cookies at work today. And I am still sick. Which means the candy isn't that appealing to me. Yesterday, I would have been all over the cookies because I absolutely genuinely didn't care. Laziness worked well for me yesterday. Today, I care a bit more. I really do want the scale to drop below 195. Planning on afternoon cardio. We'll see how the day goes. I am not in an iron-will white-knuckle mood today, so Imma just let it play.

Have a great Halloween, everyone!

Uber - You Ninja'd me! Bad scale news again! SO freaking frustrating. I'll join you in cussing out your scale hooker. I could blah blah about trends and sticking with it, but you know all that, so I'll just join you in being frustrated.

Everyone is doing so well and it's such a wonderful, uplifting thing to be a part of.

Toasted - I mis-read your post and just wrote that I'm going to make a note of the crunchy vegetables with salt idea as I also have the exact same cravings right before TOM. Then I re-read what you had written and saw you had never made any such comment. Nevertheless I shall persevere with my misunderstanding because I think it's a darned good idea and it may very well be an effective substitute for carby-crunchy things.

Jenni - You might just want to listen to your body on this one and eat when it starts telling you it wants to eat. You're not going to starve in three or four days and I don't believe there's any medical evidence for low calorie eating phases making anyone more susceptible to viruses so no harm can be done with not eating if you're not feeling it.

Uber - 1) Stupid scale. 2) I started chuckling when you wrote you may have been mildly manic for two years. I veer more towards anxious than confident, but I do know those moments where you look back and think "omg the hubris!!!" 3) **** Halloween. There's lots of good and bad being abroad, but one of the benefits of being out of the U.S. is not having to deal with holiday food. Good luck making it through the day.

Diane - Hey hey! Glad you checked in!!

Laurie - I had to sit with your stories for a few minutes. Your boss strikes me as being very smart. This is the first time in recent memory I've heard of such an elegant way of commenting on someone's weight loss - no sexism, no objectifying, no sleaze, no here'swhatmyneighbordidtolose20pounds, etc. That was really nicely done.

Hearing about trainer boy made me want to give him a smack. I'm just going to see that as an indication that the roots of my loving kindness meditation practice are still pretty shallow and resolve to try harder next time I meditate.

MissLoud - Dropping weight has seriously messed with my cycle. It's crazy awful and has been for the past few months. I'm at a loss as to what to do so if you come up with any ideas, please do share.

Today was a good day. I stayed on plan. I'm now on plan two days in a row and the majority of days for this week and I'm taking it as a real victory.

I was ninja'd!!! My first time!!! I'm so excited!!

Thank you Martini!

Laurie I am sorry your sick...

I woke back up today taking pepto...feeling like again I am going to vomit...I am glad I know I am not pregnant because I have the IUD...ugggg

And Laurie...how do you manage to workout not feeling good???? You are a superwoman!!!!

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!