I got dry socket which is very painful. I went back to the dentist today and they packed it with something that made it feel better instantly. No sleep again last night.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Was it a wisdom tooth that was pulled or just a regular tooth?

That's pretty funny, Worthy, that you think pitching magazines without clipping them is such a big step forward. It was pretty f***—umm, let me rephrase that. I'll say it the way I said it to a friend on the phone: "That was Evil Fiona. She did that to me the day we put out the recycle bins, so I didn't get to un-do that particular act of self-destruction." Yes, friends, the BERP is back to normal again, so I spent the day clipping magazines. And oh boy, I am so sick of clipping. We're talkin' massively, colossally sick of clipping.

But that's the whole thing with this project. I did not believe I was capable of doing this at all, but it is in fact happening, one magazine page at a time. All during the first 5-6 weeks I thought I was going to just get overwhelmed one day and quit. The fact that I haven't stopped doing the BERP is way more amazing to me than losing weight. Not because losing weight isn't hard—no, not at all—it's just that I have lost more than 100 pounds before, and I have lost all the way down to goal before, multiple times in my adult life. I haven't maintained my weight at goal for very long before, but I'll climb that hill when I get to it. I do think my approach is different this time round: This is the first time I've gone six months binge-free and sugar-free, that's for sure.

So anyway, I have a track record when it comes to losing weight. I have NO track record when it comes to tidying up my environment. Bob does the housework in our family. He even does my laundry for me. And he's doing every bit of the actual cleaning involved: he's been following me around with a vacuum cleaner and dust rag, as I move from one section of the BERP to another.

So this is totally amazing to me, that it's happening at all—let alone on a time table to be done before the kittens arrive!

But all is not completely peachy: I have, temporarily I assume, lost the ability to make a collage. I tried to make one over the weekend, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do the picture-making that happens in my head, with my eyes closed, for at least a day or two before the picture-making that happens with paper and glue. My brain is too fried by clipping! =big sigh=

I know it will come back. I just need to get a chance to rest my inner eyeballs.

Anyway, maybe that was TMI, but I just don't want anyone thinking it was a good thing that I recklessly tossed a lot of the raw material for my work. That was impulsive and wrong-headed, and it won't happen again. The BERP moves onward—constructively, not destructively.

It was a regular molar.

Not much to report. I was supposed to weigh in today but didn't. I'm nervous since I didn't lose any last time.

Worth, I read of your PTS incident in the other thread..so that incident with the Jeep must have been terrifying. Congrats on not losing it!!!

Sabrina, I hope so much you get that phone call for a second talk!

Fiona, WTG on your focus on the BERP!

Amy, sorry the relationship will not go further, but maybe for the best . Hope you're enjoying the new digs!

lilturtle, sorry about no sleep again! no fun.

and Hi to everyone else, hope Kathleen is having fun in Ireland!

I love summer with the beautiful green, and my flowers, and my motorcycle, and my summer job. I have been avoiding the construction due to truly hazardous road conditions for a motorcycle and i go a total of 22 miles out of my way to avoid it. Eh, not that bad since I love riding, even on dirt roads.

Hi there...

I had a good day! I've moved on from my date, thank you for all of the support. I'm not sure if I am going to pounce back into the dating arena just yet, at least perhaps not the online one.

Tonight, I went to a WW meeting and I am thrilled that I weigh 21 lbs less than I did at my last WW meeting, yay! I truly connected with the leader which is a big thing for me. I bought the calculator for counting points so I am going to try that out. I think I will succeed this time!

I'm headed to see family this weekend and then I leave again next weekend to head to Nantucket to see family and friends. Yay!

Have a great night!!!

Hugs,

Amy

I really need to get on that scale but I'm scared. It's like my future happiness rides soley on me losing weight. I'm scared I can't lose it. Not enough anyways. I like to eat and I have a lot of trouble controlling it. Some days I can, some days I can't. I try and make up for it when I can by eating very little. I'm frustrated and scared. I never follow through on long term goals. If something takes longer then a day or a week, I give up. So much rides on this. I am disgusted with myself. How hard is it to eat and exercise like a normal person?

lilturtle: I'm sorry to learn you had a painful dry socket but glad the dentist was able to help stop the pain. I hear you on being frustrated about not being able to eat "like a normal person." I think a lot of us have been in that place. I think each of us comes to the place we're ready to make a serious change in our own time, too.

I know I was scared to give up sugar and carbs for a very, very long time. They were my only 'friends,' I believed. Sugar was my drug of choice. Bingeing caused me to 'numb out' so that, for the period of time I was bingeing, I didn't feel or think anything. My brain was just blank. Of course, as soon as the binge was over, shame, regret, self-hatred all came flooding back.

I was emotionally scared when I started my medically-supervised weight loss program in November of last year, but I'd also reached the place I was ready to make a permanent change. Do I still struggle with wanting sugar? You bet! The difference now is that I am strong enough to weather emotional storms and resist the urge to 'numb out' using sugar. I hope things get better for you.

Amy: Congrats for the successful weigh-in at WW.

I have a couple days off from work and we have beautiful weather! I'm shocked that the two things coincided! I made a trip into town this morning with the intention of going shopping. I hate shopping but I thought that it would be some "me" time. After 45-minutes and two stores, I was ready to head home.

Before leaving the house, I decided I would take a long walk in one of our large, local cemeteries as my exercise for the day, since I won't be going to the gym. I started for home but turned the car around and went to the cemetery and walked up and down the rolling--some really steep--paths for an hour. My Fitbit recorded that I burned 337 calories, so I'm happy with that.

I just asked my husband to pull his bike out of the pole barn and put air in the tires so I can try riding it. I haven't ridden a bike in more than 20 years. This is my reward to myself for sticking to my fitness program for the past several weeks. I use to love riding a bike but haven't done it because I was too fat and would have looked utterly ridiculous, I believed. Now I've almost reached Onederland, I'm going to give myself another chance to ride.

I rode a bike! I rode a bike! I fixed the height of the seat all by myself and rode my husband's bicycle about two miles. My steering was quite shaky. I had completely forgotten how much upper body strength it takes to steer a bicycle. I'm going to have to find a safe, empty parking lot somewhere to practice.

AND, the other excitement...my new pants arrived today. The size 20 is now too large but the size 18 fits.

I'm so excited.

Couple of rough days there: Tuesday & Wednesday I had lots of depression pain. I thought today was going to be more of the same: that's how it started. But after taking two Geodon, this morning's pain blew completely away. (Geodon doesn't often work that well.) I was able to get some critical pieces of mail en route, plus run a couple of tedious errands, without much stress.

I'm certainly hoping that's the end of my depression problems for a while, because I have a busy weekend ahead, with my niece Margaret coming over for dinner tomorrow night, and my great-niece Grace coming over on Saturday to do more sorting of clippings.

The BERP has been semi-stalled for a few days, but I have managed to clip some more magazines, including a very demanding one that took two & a half hours to plow through. I'm hoping I'll wake up tomorrow in fine fettle and can kick things back into high gear.

Worthy— Congratulations on riding a bike! And on being down to size 18! Wow, you must be on top o' the world.

Trish— Sorry to hear you're in the weight-loss doldrums. But you've achieved a whole lot already: don't forget that fact! It's just a matter of getting your focus back. I call it doing a re-set, like sometimes you do with a piece of electronic equipment to make it function again. Give yourself a date—could be tomorrow, could be Monday, whenever—when you plan to do a serious re-set on your weight-loss effort. Get back on plan in your eating, do some walking if you can, and wait to weigh yourself until at least a week after your re-set. How does that sound?

I'm popping over to say hi! Thank you for the kind words, which reminds me to go track my points. It was rainy here today yet I still managed to get a lot done.

I'm excited for my trip to NYC this weekend!

There's plenty more unpacking to do!

Take care!

Amy

Hi. I read lots of posts here. Thanks for the good reading. I am new here at 3FC. SO relieved, excited and happy to have found you all. I have lived a yoyo life. Sometimes being around 200 lbs and other times being much lower. Always depressed with a large serving of anxieties.

Right now I am sort of maintaining weight. BUT I have had a slip that seems to be lasting too long. My digestive system is wrecked due to the sort of dieting i used to do along with the depression and anxiety. I always know that gaining weight is just a slip away. If I am not vigilant, then its a one way ticket to a larger wardrobe. I have 5 sizes in my closet. Although the larger sizes are folded up and away from the front.

Like VermontMom, I live in VT. Or as I call it, the land of the often frozen tundra. I still am trying to recover from last winter, lol.

I loved reading the words of worththeeffort who rode a bike. Thats so awesome. Actually i was just glad to read everyones posts. I am grateful to have found this community. Thanks

flower123: to our group! So happy you decided to post after reading along. Sorry about your depression and anxieties, but at least we can all relate in this group! Please feel free to continue to post. I hope you will find some support and encouragement here!

Hello Everyone! I had a bit of spotty wifi and internet while in Ireland, so I have kept in touch a little, but need to get back in the groove! We had an absolutely wonderful time on our vacation, but today it is back to reality! I am afraid that I went completely off my "diet mode" most of my vacation, so I am going to try hard to get back on board with healthy eating and exercise as quickly as possible, too. I need to move along right now, but I will check in tonight and try to write some personals. Hang in there, everyone, and know that I think of you often and keep you all in my prayers! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Hi again!

Welcome Flower123 and welcome back believe!

I'm tired, I'll post later maybe.

Have a good day!

Amy