I hate that obesity is still tied to stigmatizing words like fault and blame. We don't expect people to blame themselves for allergies or arthritis, or even lifestyle-mediated conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease or diabete.

We don't assign blame to the unhealthfully underweight, so why do we feel it necessary to assign blame to obesity?


Blame is counterproductive. The success rate for addiction and mental illness treatment drastically improved once we stopped blaming, and I think the same will be true for obesity.

I know MY success has certainly improved since I stopped blaming myself.

I think there's a difference between blaming yourself and beating yourself up. I mean, as I said in my post, I DON'T blame myself for my weight, but even if I did, I don't find it productive to get angry with myself about it.

I have to treat myself like a little kid; just realize I didn't understand or wasn't staying aware of things, then find ways to productively discipline myself so it doesn't happen again. Getting angry doesn't solve very many problems.

I think people DO find fault or blame for diabetes and high blood pressure when they are caused by obesity. Because the thing is, those DO come from factors we SHOULD have control over. That's not the case (as far as we know) for allergies and arthritis.

I think a lot of people think it's easy to lose weight, and that obese people have no self control. The reality is, we have just as much as skinny people, but eating the right volume of food doesn't come naturally to us, and sometimes we're genetically predisposed, and there are many other factors at work, like poor examples set by our family members, and poor or inadequate advice even from official sources.

Obesity isn't a "disease" that we have no control over. But nor is it the sole responsibility of the people it affects.

Much of your response really proves my point. As you said, we blame or find fault with folks with diabetes and high blood pressure for these conditions when obesity is present.

However when the person is thin, we generally do not cast blame, as if obesity is not only the sole cause, but also the only controllable cause for health issues such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease.. - even though much of the research suggests that obesity is often the result, rather than the cause of many disease processes.

If you're thin, you get unquestioning support, and if you're fat, you get contempt and blame, even though your self-control, diet, and behavior may be virtually identical to thin folks with the same diseases - yet it's the fat diabetic's fault and the thin diabetic was just unlucky or undereducated (so even when they get the blame, the blow is softened).

The obese person is lazy, crazy, stupid, or selfish, but the thin person with lifestyle diseases is somehow an innocent victim who just needs a bit of help.

For the thin person, lifestyle diseases are a health issue only, but for the fat person, the diseases and obesity itself are a moral issue, first and foremost. If you're thin and sick, you're allowed and encouraged to focus only on getting better. If you're obese, you're also required to not only blame yourself, but repeatedly and continuously acknowledge that blame.

It has more to do with punishment than taking responsibility, because even the thin diabetic has to take responsibility, but only the fat diabetic has to accept blame.

I hate to mention this but sometimes even once you're thin, medical professionals will still find a way to blame health issues on past obesity. I have bad arthritis in my hips and knees. A few days ago my nurse practitioner told me it was likely due to decades of being morbidly obese. I don't know if this is true or not and it really doesn't matter but it still made me feel awful.

Yes, obesity stresses and wears on joints, which can cause arthritis. Other "wear and tear" joint stressing activities such as dancing, running, sports, and jobs involving a lot of motion, standing, or weight bearing can also cause arthritis.

Would you have felt as awful if your doctor had attributed your arthritis to your job or hobbies, rather than to your weight history?

I'm guessing, probably not, because our culture doesn't tend to ascribe moral weakness to these other causes. They're seen as morally neutral or even virtuous.

If obesity wasn't seen as a severe, almost evil, moral failing, then obesity-caused arthritis would be seen no differently than arthritis caused by ballet or football.

The treatment is the same regardless of the cause, adding the extra burden of blame just seems so pointless and unneccessary.

We don't feel the same need to blame with other behavior-related health issue, and I just wonder why we feel the need to hurl blame at obesity. Especially in an era where we give much more generous sympathy to behaviors with much worse health (and even legal) consequences.


Somehow severe obesity is seen as a worse social crime than drunk driving.

What a nice reply; thank you so much for that Kaplods. I have been mentally beating myself up so the things you point out help me look at things more rationally.

You are so right that severe obesity is seen as a social crime. Since I was overweight or morbidly obese for my entire life until I lost the weight seven years ago, I experienced this stigma a lot. That's why I never mention the weight loss when I go to a new practitioner now. Unfortunately, once I'm undressed, they figure it out pretty quickly!

I'm the one with the poor eating habits, but I have piss poor confidence and food issues because of my mother. She has huge, unresolved issues with her own body and severe body dysmorphia as diagnosed by me. There is a great photo of her and she will admit that at the time it was taken she was under 120 pounds and thought she was "the fattest cow to walk the earth".

So yes, obesity could very well be your fault, but not in every case.

Does that really happen?

Not that I'm aware of... but, insurers are becoming more likely to use health management/analytics companies to spot "high risk members" and counsel them to lower their costs.

I know this because I was "chosen" to "participate" in a "wellness program." It's "completely voluntary" which means I don't "have" to participate, but if I choose not to, my benefits get cut by more than 60%. And yes, this is legal.

Get used to it... it's coming to you eventually

Me TOO

Amandie ~ What does SAHM stand for?

Kscott ~ Congrats for just having 5 pounds to go to get back to where you want to be

If I had to blame someone, I'd only blame myself partially. My older sister grew up skinny to average size, but I've been overweight from the start. Sure I did my Mickey Mousercises and I was flexible, but it didn't do anything for my weight. My parents were in charge of what I ate growing up, not me, so I partially point a finger at them and the general misconception of what is truly healthy food and what isn't. Both my parents were overweight by the time I was born. Despite me being an obese child there were no real attempts to make me not obese. For a while dad used to make us weigh ourselves weekly which made me feel bad because I knew I was overweight, and yet no one in the house really did anything about it except buy some low fat cookies and rice cakes. Sure, I knew that sugar was bad and veggies were good, but I never felt like I ate differently or more than people who were skinnier than me.

The first time I lost a lot of weight was my first year at college, and I wasn't even trying. I definitely blame myself for not keeping the weight off when I regained. I also blame society for throwing so many cheap and convenient processed foods in my face all the time. I was raised on them.

Yes and no.

Poor food choices when I knew the correct ones? Absolutely, 100%, my fault. I worked in the health industry for 13 years and I knew well enough what I was supposed to do.

However, in the past couple of years, I've found out I have a bizarre genetic mutation that makes it incredibly difficult for my body to remove oxidative stress (think xenoestrogens like BPA and phthalates) in a timely fashion. So bodies being good at survival, mine decided if I couldn't REMOVE the toxins I could just STORE them in nice little fat pockets so they couldn't damage my vital organs.

Blech.

My fibromyalgia is linked to that mutation too, and while I'd never absolve myself of the responsibility to lose weight, I don't blame myself, either. Now I know better. Now I'm doing better.

MTHFR is exactly what it sounds like. I'm homozygous for the C677T mutation.

i was always chubby but got really fat by age 8, obese by age 12. morbidly obese as an adult.

i don't believe obesity is entirely my fault. yes, somewhat, but not entirely. pcos, genetics played a great part in my weight issues. in the 1970's i was one of two fat kids in my school. obesity wasn't as common then as it is now. i was obese before it became an epidemic.

diabetics are rarely ever blamed for their condition, and yet when a diabetic seriously changes their diet, usually their diabetes goes away. i feel the blame for my obesity is similar. yes, if i only ate celery, i wouldn't have weight problems.