Kaylet, I was so sympatico w/your statement on "perspective" (and glad your dh is ok after that close call). Yesterday I went to a rehab/nursing home to see a lifelong acquaintance of mine. So sad and I left feeling like I ruled the world. She had called me last week to let me know she was there after a week in another hospital. It's right next to the place I go to the pool and she knows I go there. We're not enemies but not what I'd really call "friends" because we don't see each other in person often (usually when she's hospitalized). I've never met her dh or her children nor has she mine. A few years ago, she heard I had knee problems and began calling me sometimes a few times a year, sometimes a few times a month.
Anyway at the point she had called me last week, her d(and in this case it's not dear)h had only been in to see her twice, nobody had brought her clothing she needed, etc. I tried to find something in store she could wear but could not as even a 4x (had I been able to find one) would not have fit. Most of her clothes are special made or at least special ordered and then adjusted to fit. She is 300 pounds and about five feet tall or less. Her health problems are numerous and her family/social ones are too.
She's got a somewhat negative attitude but is a good soul at heart. Life is very painful for her but I knew her as a child and know some of the reasons behind some of her attitudes.
When I got there yesterday, they had just told her the doctor is taking away her drivers license as he thinks she gets "confused". Well, yes, but she sort of always has been that way. But it's a good idea anyway as she's had many accidents. But life as she's known it will be over. She eats out every night even though she may sometimes cook for her husband. She can tell you the menu and good points/bad points of almost every restaurant in the region. She's a good cook but her physical limitations have made it tremendously difficult. Her other "outings" are usually to grocery store, farmers markes, etc. Food has been the center (or close to it) of her life.
The whole point is I was so distressed to see how bad she looked and how much heavier she seemed to be than when I had last seen her (she made a great physical effort to get to my mother's funeral which I tremendously appreciated). I also felt distressed that there is almost nothing I can do for her. But above all, I felt my aches and pains and problems were nothing compared to hers. We're the same age and I couldn't help but compare my life and hers and feel grateful that mine seems to have worked out so much better. By last night her dh had been in and one daughter and someone had brought her clothes. One of his comments had been that if he knew she was going to be in the hospital so long, he could have gone away on a trip he's been wanting to take. So achy though I started yesterday morning, by last evening I felt really like a

- that perspective is marvelous magicke. (Stolen from Empress)