Just wanted to check back in & say I've been reading the replies here all along, and you are a wonderful bunch of people. And I love how threads grow & branch & bud in different directions.

I am now fully armed with a varied repertoire of responses for the next "helpful" person who proffers this advice to me & implies that it's really easy. And you're all right in thinking that it's the condescension (and implied condemnation of some aspect of my character or intelligence) that makes the original remark sting, whenever I've heard it. I've never been offended by reading Michael Pollan or hearing "Eat more, move less" (which I think is just trying to be succinct & memorable, and has no judgment implied in it at all).

The big problem with the "eat less move more" philosophy is it does not address how we gain and lose. You can "eat less" and still eat foods that promote fat storage. I couldn't lose a pound eating 1500 calories a day when I still included pastas and baked goods. I lose half a pound a day when I cut those out.

As someone else posted, insulin resistance is a huge factor. And even if you're not insulin resistant, blood sugar triggers fat storage. Diets like Atkins don't work for most because they are too restrictive. They're also unpopular, medically, because they usually require you to cut out some "good" foods, as well.

Usually, if someone tells me to "eat less" - especially someone who doesn't know me - I say, "So, I can live on a few Snickers and lose weight?"

Of course not. We *all* know that sugary foods inhibit weight loss. Blood sugar spikes lead to fat storage, not burning. Putting it in perspective for the "it's so easy even a FATTY could do it!" crowd seems to squash the obnoxious comments.

Great thread, I've really enjoyed reading it all. There is a lot of wisdom here. I have an underactive thyroid, and PCOS and gained a lot of weight when I was prescribed an anti-depressant a few years back, so it is considerably more complicated for me. I've never been an emotional eater, or a big fast-food consumer. I sometimes feel that shows like the Biggest Loser do us a disservice when they show images of contestants before doing things like eating an entire pint of ice cream or huge bag of chips in one sitting, implying that everyone who is overweight engages in those behaviors. And I do feel frustrated and misunderstood at times by comments like the one that started this conversation - including from medical professionals.

So, yes, it is an extra challenge for me to balance eating and exercise, and I have a lot less wiggle room than someone with a different medical situation or genes. But it's no excuse for throwing my hands up in the air. AND there are plenty of things that I could struggle with and don't: I can have alcohol in the house and not feel compelled to drink it all, I have a credit card but use it responsibly and have no debt, I've never gambled, I've never smoked, I'm not a compulsive shopper, etc. I can't understand what it is like to have those issues, so I can understand how someone who has never struggled with weight thinks it is just that simple and easy. The tough thing about having weight is a challenge it is immediately more visible than these other challenges and can't be hidden.

The corollary to this is now that I am losing weight (31 pounds in 2009, thank you very much) I hear all the time, "oh, you must be walking more." Actually, I run on the treadmill at the gym until sweat is rolling down my face like tears, cross-train on off days, and I lift weights 3 times a week. I balance carbs with protein and spend an incredible amount planning, thinking, measuring, and weigh myself every morning. Nope, not just walking more.

I agree with what kaplods said about confidence, and I've also heard it said that much more trouble is caused by TAKING offense than by giving offense. I can choose to take offense by someone or not.

At the end of the day, it's about me creating the life I want to live and doing all I can to be healthy, whether or not people choose to understand and validate that or not. Because at the end of the day, I remind myself, it's not about them, but about me and the choices I'm making for myself.

Wow! I had the same thing happen to me! I gained most of my weight from Paxil (panic attacks brought on by ephedra) and not treating an underactive thyroid. I spent several years pretty upset and blamed my unfortunate circumstances on that. I thought I was just destined to be overweight forever. Now, I am really turning it around and not giving my thyroid much of my focus (other than taking my pill every am). My doctor said I should be able to gain and lose weight like anyone else and I am slowly believing her after years of fighting it. Even if I can't, giving my attention to having a slow metabolism takes it away from meal planning, exercise and other thoughts that get me to my goal. Yeah, it stinks how it happened and I have thoroughly mourned that and am moving on.

I get upset when people make the "It's Easy - Just Eat Less" comment because it's so judgemental. I don't judge others and don't like it in return. Like another poster said (and I agree 100%), weight struggles are public - everyone can see them. We all have feelings that are negative - maybe it's self-esteem, maybe it's feelings of neglect or feelings of loneliness - how we choose to deal with those feelings are unique to us. For me, it's food. For someone whose way to deal with those feelings doesn't have a quickly visible appearance, it's just a different coping mechanism. But when they seem to forget thier own struggles because they aren't immediately visible, and are rude to me, I get frustrated. Of course, eventually their struggles are visible, but in thier rude words and other behaviors. Like other posters, I feel sorry for them also because I can "see" their struggle and hope that they figure out thier path someday - it still hurts, though.