Re: Shane's questions. I don't think that someone should be judged on the basis of whether they are overweight/obese. After all--all of us here know what that's like. On the other hand, you are attracted to someone or you aren't, and if they have a body that is unattractive to you, well, that is what it is.

My partner eats very differently from the way I do, but is a naturally normal-weight person. Some of my weight gain since we moved in together was a consequence of my trying to eat the same way. What finally happened is that I uncoupled our eating. I eat my foods, and my partner eats hers. Sometimes we do put together meals for both of us to share, and that's fun. But she can eat a lot more carbs than I can without gaining. Also, she doesn't tend to overeat, and she just stops eating when she's had enough, a concept I'm still working with.

(Case in point: The Doritos. I buy a bag and divide it up into serving-size zipper bags, which go on a top shelf in the pantry. They are for both of us. She will start on a baglet of Doritos, eat a few with her lunch, and then leave the rest in the baggie, just sitting there on the counter. For days. )

However, I don't think that I would expect that someone else should change their lifestyle to suit mine. I wouldn't insist that someone I was just "dating" should "commit to a healthy lifestyle." Better not to date them!

Jay

WOW, Jay, I can identify with A LOT of what you just said. You know, it always baffles me when people can open up something yummy and NOT eat it until it's gone. Doritos are not my culprit, but Frito Lay MUNCHIES? Watch out. I'll do some damage.

When I moved in with The Ex back in December '05, I started eating just like her, too, except as you pointed out, everyone reacts differently even on the same diet. I ate exactly what she ate in the exact same amounts (she cooked often and served me, if she wanted seconds, she gave me seconds, too), but I gained 50 pounds while she stayed the same Her natural thinness has always baffled me, because she eats A LOT and never exercises, but I just tell myself life isn't always fair. As I may have mentioned before, we are still best of friends. She went on vacation with me for my bodybuilding competition. That weekend, we both went out to eat and then ate lots of other junk. I felt horrible, but she said, "Why are you so sick right now?" I said, "I've been a total glutton, I can't believe you're not feeling it." Her: "This is how I always eat. You know that."

Obviously, I never made her compromise her eating habits or lifestyle for me, nor would I make anyone else do the same. I don't believe in changing people; it's so, so important for two people to accept each other as they are. Sometimes, I've been an indirect positive influence on others in respect to health, but I would never make someone change parts of his or her life just for me.

I actually have no interest in casual dating anyone right now, even -- my life is far too busy and I am not emotionally ready -- it was just a curious, hypothetical question.

VICTORY!!! I weighed in at half a pound less than when I left for my trip. I must blame all the walking for this small victory!!!

I have my photos posted, but not yet captioned. If you want to look they're here:http://s190.photobucket.com/albums/z.../Italy%202009/

Wow! That is a huge victory!!! I'll check out your photos later-- I'm off to my WW meeting and my weigh in-- I'm still taking off my cruise weight but I'm pretty sure I'm down from last week.

Dagmar-- sorry your dh isn't on track with you. He definitely sounds like the old me-- wanting to lose weight but not ready to do anything serious about it-- on the wagon, off the wagon.... Hugs....

Allison - way to go on the return weight! It reinforces that whole "French women don't get fat" thing - they have to walk everywhere!

Dagmar - I feel your frustration. DH has been very conscious of his eating the last few weeks and it really has made it easier for me to eat better. He hasn't had a particularly bad diet the last year, has maintained a 20 pound loss during that time, but wants to get better and lose some more. I've found this week that I have been coming in a a few hundred calories under my typical consumption for the last four days, and I know it is because of tweaking the calorie numbers on dinner to fit better with his plan. I also haven't grabbed as many snacky things for some reason.

Shane - I don't think it is shallow to gravitate towards people with similar interests as you, and one of your interests is obviously a healthy lifestyle. I would imagine that you would be naturally drawn to people with a similar lifestyle at this point rather than someone who isn't as in tune with it.

Jay - I struggle with eating everything in a bag as well. I can split snacks into small portions, either in baggies or by weighing a serving into a bowl, and then not go back for more, but if I just open the bag and dig in I have much less control...

Iris - there is something to be said for the cheaper cost of the hospital gym, but if it doesn't have things you enjoy will you actually go?

Did some solid strength training yesterday afternoon, got up and went to the park for my run today - 7.5 miles of which I ran 6, in two sets of 3 miles. I'm still not the fastest runner, but I do stick out the distance, at least at the park. It is easier there than on my treadmill because I can slow down to a low jog and then speed back up much easier. Keep having to change the speed on the treadmill so I end up quitting...

Good day everyone!

Allison, congrats on losing during your vacation! I went to Europe with my mom when I graduated from HS and we both lost a few lbs... certainly not because of diet, but we walked everywhere. That's sure "icing on the cake" for a trip! I looked through your first few pictures, but I'd love to see when you have them labeled.

I am honestly afraid to step on the scale because I think I am above my red line (135). I have lot of social festivities the next week or so with the beginning of the school year. My college is having a mixer for new students and their mentors (and I'm a mentor) which just happens to be at the bar. *Sigh* nothing spells empty calories like a drink or two.

Shannon, looks like I posted at the same time as you! It's funny I think you're actually the opposite of me - I tend to have an easier time running on the treadmill, but I think it's because of the heat here in Arizona. I get overheated and just decide to walk most of the time! I also like the treadmill because I don't have to carry my water bottle =).

I just checked into YMCA membership - there's a $50 startup fee and it's $38/month - this is in comparison with the hospital gym, which has no startup fee and will be between $10-15/month... plus negates the need to find parking downtown. BUT - no group fitness classes, which really motivate me on strength training, especially for my lower body. Decisions, decisions (and ones I need to make quickly!).

HOWDY! I'm stinky, sweaty, my hands are blistered, and I'm VERY HAPPY!
I just assembled a trampoline with an enclosure, along with four bar stools, all by myself! The trampoline supposedly takes two strong men normally, but I did it with no assistance whatsoever. The best part, of course, is I got paid overtime for it. Oh, how I love my job! The lady kept gushing to me about how I must be in incredible shape and that I'd put her husband to shame. Then, she went to comment on my muscles. Instead of rippin' em out and flexin' 'em the way I have in the past at such comments (to the point of where friends started calling me The Gun Show ), I just smiled and thanked her. I'm trying to have a little bit of humility; pride is an unappealing characteristic -- one of MY unappealing characteristics that I've had WAY too much of these last 6 months while bodybuilding. Such a self-centered sport tends to turn most people into self-absorbed buttheads. I wasn't a butthead, but I was certainly more arrogant than I'd like to be.

Allison, CONGRATS on LOSING a pound during a vacation! WHAT a HUGE accomplishment! What excellent, beautiful pictures! I would LOVE to go to Italy; it looks like you had a great time.

Shannon - even if you don't know it/he doesn't tell you, I'm sure you are an inspiration for your husband to live a healthier lifestyle. It's amazing how we influence those close to us... which reminds me:
The other day, my boss said, "I was at the convenience store and about to buy some stuff that I know would make you go, 'EUGGGGHHHHH.' Then, I thought, 'Aidyn wouldn't go for that' and I didn't buy anything. I went and got a sub with NO MAYO from Publix instead!"
Does your DH work out, too?

Iris - if I were you, I'd join the hospital gym... what a discount Then again, it depends how cheap you feel, I suppose. I have an easier time on the tredmill too, in the sense that if I don't keep up, I'll fall off. OOOOOF! After running 3 hours on it one day (I had too many excess calories during my bodybuilding preparation and needed 'em gone...quickly), I have lost interest, though!