I have no humor today. But I wanted to post anyway. Keep my name in the game!

Diane, Diane, Diane... if you have no humor, you do what I do... post a picture. Such as this one...

*fingers crossed* that someone finds it humorous.




or even this one...

I prefer to take bosses on by hand. Work out some frustration while working um over.

While looking for humours boss bashing jokes I found these handy tips!

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.

3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Jail vs. Work
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.

AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior

AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.

AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.

AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.

AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.

AT WORK...they are called managers.

can i just pop in here and say you guys are cracking me up now i know where to come when i need a boost (or just assurance that i'm not the only crazy one here)

Ok, you guys did much better than I did.

Ronni - Welcome to the madness. It is so good to have this thread... never gets too serious or too dramatic!

Well... except for Bill.

I have a headache. It's getting worse as the day progresses. Someone make it go away. Please.

Allison, I didn't know headaches were allowed in S. CA! Can you make like the lab in your avatar and grab a nap? We'll tell Operator to hold off on the blasting for a while.

I just ate a really decadent and delicious sausage and sauerkraut sandwich on wonderful dark rye bread and I DON'T REGRET IT ONE BIT.

I never look back on a job or a lover or a really good sandwich!

Okay, the headache is starting to go away now. BUT the guys were working back in the shop and noticed that the propane hose on our forklift was bulging so they disconnected it--right outside my office. It stinks to hi heck in here! I didn't know what was going on at first and I thought there had been some industrial accident at the waste department across the street. Gads! It reeks like something died in here. I think it will only make my headache worse!

First: I thought I was crowned "Royal Executioner" Have I been demoted or do I get a new job?

Second:
Pearfreak: I loved the Chic one!!

Julia: Loved the Insanity one. I am bringing that into work and I have someone in mind that will try a couple of those! I will let you know if they do.

I don't get why Gary is screaming about viruses. What is going on?

YOU PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET IT!! I am SERIOUS!!

STOP!!

POSTING HERE OR YOUR SECOND FIRST BORN SON WILL BE BORN WITH A LEFT AND RIGHT THUMB!

Pass this on to 10 friends and you will receive free tupperware and avon parties for life.

Are we under Quarintine?

Not sure but I gotta itch.