HEY JEWCY ~ we meet again ...
I just want you to know that GOD LOVES YOU, JEWCY ~ just the way you are ... GOD loves your heart, and your mind, and your soul. GOD loves the way you laugh, and the way you talk. GOD loves who you are now and what you can become in the future -- a beautiful gem, sparkling bright like a star in the night ...
I have loved you with an everlasting love ... Jeremiah 31:3
... and JESUS came to take away all that shame; give it to Him. JESUS came to pay for your mistakes; give them to Him. Give this burden of self-recrimination away ~ give it to JESUS. He said ...
"Come unto me, all who are burdened and heavy laden, and I will give you rest for your souls ... for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28
Right now, you are just confused and searching. You have stuff in your life that needs healing. So we will pray for you that you will find the love and healing that you need; and the power to make any changes that you need to feel better and be healthier too.
Plus, we'll try to answer your questions too. Some things in life are difficult to understand. The way you feel has a human cause; part of just being a human being. GOD wants you to feel well and be happy.