Yahoo. Congratulate me. I finally stayed on plan today. I haven't had a good day in at least 2 weeks. One day I let myself be bad and I just couldn't get back on plan. Well I said after Easter I'd get there and today I finally did. I tracked everything and stayed in my points. Here's to many more on plan days and getting to my goal.

CONGRATS KAREN! Let me tell you I understand exactly how big of an accomplishment that is. Except I haven't overcome it yet...how did you do it, please tell me you have some magical insight that will give me the discipline to follow!

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I feel kind of guilty coming here when I have no intention of being on plan or working to better myself that day. Although checking in would ideally get me back on track I always feel like some kind of fraud coming here when I am doing poorly. Like many others I have hit a major Blah in my weightloss, eating, life in general.
To answer the QOTD, I think I want it really bad but my actions indicate that it is just not real important right now. Ah well, I just keep telling myself I cannot give up, I just cannot. But at the same time I cannot stay on plan, I just cannot.

I just told myself not to by anything extra a work to eat and ate what I brought with me. It was hard. Popcorn and chips were calling my name and I don't really like the 94% fat free popcorn all that much. So it's not worth getting any. It was very hard.

Answering the question of the day...."Do you eat to sedate yourself?"

I don't anymore and I think that's the problem I'm having right now. I never dealt with emotions...ever. If I felt sad, angry, scared, disappointed, ashamed, etc.....I ate. Then, when I hated myself for eating and being fat...guess what? I ate some more. Now, the only time I go off plan are scheduled free days approximately once a month. I am very disciplined once I set my mind to something. I've been doing this for almost 6 months now and I don't ever sedate myself with food....but here's the thing, now I'm struggling to find a way to deal with all these emotions. It has really hit me these past couple of weeks and I'm really floundering. I don't know how to deal with my emotions without eating. I never used to cry and now I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm edgy and sensitive and having all kinds of crazy emotions. I never talk to anyone about my feelings and now I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's driving me nuts....I've got 42 years of unresolved feelings to deal with and I don't have any mashed potatoes and gravy to drown them in. It's really scary. I think the first step I took was coming on here and opening up. Now, if I could start doing that with the people around me, I'd be okay. Baby steps. I keep telling myself that.

Don't you feel great? Super work!

My masters is in public affairs, so please don't view this as any sort of knowledgable opinion.

Many of your posts have made me wonder if it is hormones. 42 is not too young for peri-menopausal symptoms. You could be having estrogen swings all over the place.

And even if that is it, you are left with the question of what do to with your feelings. If you have had this many years of not dealing with them, you might try to find a professional who can help you. You have taken such a bold step in recognizing what is going on, a therapist would be thrilled to have someone who has done so much foot work on her own. You have fought more than half the battle, a little guidance to the end might help you finish is more efficiently.

Hi. What do you guys think? The outdoor pictures were taken last Memorial Day. I took the inside ones today. Its the same shirt but the first pants are 24's and the second are 20's. Do I look smaller. I'm probably 25 pounds lighter. But I think I'm further back in the second set so that could have something to do with it.

Karen you TOTALLY look smaller! Great job!!

Karen--I can definitely tell a difference! Congrats on the day OP, let's continue that today. Look at those pictures and realize how far you've come, and keep on rockin'

missingerica--I know exactly what you are feeling because I am going through the same thing...this is actually what caused me to quit last time, I could not deal with the emotions, I needed my drug (food). I feel I am a bomb of tears, the slightest thing and I feel my eyes watering up and feel like such an idiot, crying again! I realize though that the emotions are not over the current situation, whatever it may be I'm tearing up over, but about past things that I can no longer ignore by stuffing my face, I have to deal with things and it comes up at the strangest, most unexpected moments. I have no solutions or magic cures, we just have to get deal with it somehow I guess.

Heather--Hope you feel better soon, UTI is never fun.

tee--your challenge is tempting me today, I might just need to take you up on it. MIL Is making a mess of things as usual and I always bite my tongue, but might just speak up today and she won't like it. She's starting a big stink over my son's Tball pictures, and making a big deal out of something that should be simple. I normally bite my tongue and she gets her way, then I end up binging and stuffing back my own feelings. I think if I just tell her what I think and do what I want, I might not feel the urge to binge tonight. We'll see, it's hard to express yourself when you've lived your entire life pleasing others before yourself.

Karen you look AWESOME! Congrats on losing so much weight!

Morning Ladies!

Woo I've been on hiatus for a few days. My blog commitment suffered as well. Good Ol' Aunt Flow will do that to ya.

Anywho... I pm'd the other team leaders some things and we are working on the next challenge now. I'm hoping to wrap up the finer details and such by this weekend so we can get those posted and everyone can start viewing them.

I finished Lover Revealed yesterday and I'm working on the last book I need to catch up in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Then after that I have 2 Maggie Shayne books to hold me over til June when Lover Enshrined is released. Then I have to wait a long time for the next book. I'll probably get to working on mine eventually.

The audit at work is still not over, and with my boss being in the hospital after hip surgery its making it really difficult to do anything because he was advising me as to what to write in the contest letter. Looks like I'm gonna have to wing that one.

School is fine and a joke... I goto class to read for an hour and a half then go home. I'm already 3 chapters ahead of the class. :P

Diet is kinda in the pits with stressing over what to do with the cats. I'm hoping since we are doing an owner surrender through the SPCA that they find a good home. I'm hoping after this afternoon I can get in their bedroom and clean like crazy for some exercise. Plus I need to get the walls finished painted in there before the weekend since my dad is bringing my old twin bed to my house. Instead of having a full on exercise room, I'm putting that extra bed in there just in case we need it. (Or if Daniel gets put in the doghouse he has somewhere to sleep :rofll

Other than that my life is normal... How's yours?

She won't like it, but what about your feelings? Hers are no more important than yours. She has gotten used to getting her way through bullying? I would change that dynamic today. You won't feel the urge to binge, but you might feel the urge to dance.

Yay! Got my blog updated so I can start keeping at least one commitment straight!

Still waiting to hear from Melissa then I'll have some info up about the next challenge.

Good morning, Bluesers! Just taking a much needed break out of my workday to come here and chat.

Vanessa – I’m sorry to hear that you also had a rough time staying on-plan for Easter. Many of us did. But, you can jump right back on-plan and keep going! We’re behind you 100%!

Nori – Congrats for staying away from the desserts!

Dee – Those fire ants are horrible! I swear, they are everywhere in Florida. Hope they are healing quickly for you. If the itching gets bad, you might try some benadryl cream. It works well for me.

Ellie – Congratulations on your ½ lb loss!

Heather – A UTI? Ouch! Hope you find relief soon.

Karen – You look amazing! Thanks for sharing your pictures.

Jordan - I struggle with my commitment every single day. You and I can both choose to stay on-plan and do this. It’s our choice. I come here each day to keep myself accountable and to provide support for my team mates and friends. And, usually the commitment of everyone else helps me to get re-committed and back on track.

Lisa, Anna took the words right out of my mouth. Also, we store a form of estrogen in our fat. With weight loss, it is not unusual to have extreme hormone fluctuations from dumping the excess estrogen back into your system. A couple of our 3FC maintainers have talked about the fact that their TOMS stopped completely and the entered menopause early during their weight loss. Are you taking calcium supplements? This can help tremendously. Also, if you’re using soy products, you might want to cut back on these for a while. Soy also has natural estrogen that can compound the problem. Also, don’t forget your sleep and your exercise. These will help, too.

Michelle – I’m sorry to hear that you have to give up your cats. Are they destroying your new home?

Purple – MIL situations are some of the worst! Hope you can work this out without compromising your own feelings and wants.

Question: Do you eat to sedate yourself. Yeah, I do this. Sometimes, the emotions take over and I find myself turning to the one thing that has always worked to soothe me. So far, I haven’t managed to find anything that works quite as well…even though my “drug” of choice isn’t foolproof. I’ve found myself stuffing those feelings down more and more lately. Over the last three years, my whole world was turned upside down. My Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and we lost her six months later. Within 2 months, my Dad decided to start dating and he remarried last year. That next year, I opted to get a total hysterectomy at the age of 41. I had no clue what was coming my way. Overnight, I was in total menopause and was an emotional wreck. I’ve always been a very optimistic go-getter kind of person who didn’t accept being told that I couldn’t do something. I didn’t believe in whining about anything. I went into adrenal fatigue, was diagnosed with insulin resistance, my hormones were all over the place because of my surgery, and I was trying to find a doctor and a hormone therapy that could make me feel somewhat normal again. Over this time, I gained another 75 pounds, bringing me to an all time high of 264 pounds. Then, my MIL, who has a severe form of bi-polarism, moved into our small house with us again! Last year, we moved out of the home in Florida that I brought my daughter’s home to as newborns and we moved to Georgia to build a new life. It is a testament to my husband’s character and commitment to me and our family that we are still together. I put that man and my family through **** with my extreme emotions. I put myself through ****, too!

After much research and trial and error, I’ve finally found a hormone regimen that works well for me. I’ve lost 35 pounds and reversed my insulin resistance and our move from Georgia was definitely the right decision for all of us. My emotions do sometimes get wacky again. Hormone replacement therapy doesn’t 100% duplicate what a woman has naturally. But, I’ve made a conscious decision to not inflict my negativity and moods on my husband and family. They deserve to have happy times without me raining on their day. Now, if I can just find a great workable solution to eating to help me with my emotions!

Sorry if this is all too personal for some of you. But, I'm not a private kind of person and I believe that women need to be honest with each other. Why is the subject of menopause and hysterectomy such a hush-hush subject? We need to look out for each other. God knows, conventional medicine hasn't done such a great job doing this for us!

Hope everyone has a great day.

PS, Michelle, this past weekend, they had Dark Lover on sale at Books-a-Million for $4.99. I remembered you talking about this series, so I picked up the first two books. I can't put Dark Lover down! This is really really good stuff! I must confess, I'm not feeling Maggie's stuff yet. She's a little to "mushy" for me so far.

Isn't is nice to have a great man? It really can make all the difference.

As for talking about our uteruses and our hormones and menopause....do you think that is cultural by region of the country? Do you think it is generational? Obviously, I don't have a hard time discussing anything, but this is not a topic from which my friends and I would shy. My mom and her friends were open with each other about their entry into menopause. However MIL (older and from farther south) still says silly things like "female trouble" instead of just saying that she has a prolapsed uterus. Or she says 'the change' instead of saying menopause.

I HAVE A UTERUS. I HAVE OVARIES. I HAVE BREASTS. I LOVE THEM.