Hey the best answer is to keep the pounds off. They can run their mouths all they want but we are responsible for what we put in our mouths and we have the POWER to change our lives. My wife told me I'd gain it all back. I let her have it with a string of curses that would make a DI blush. It pissed me off and still does months later. I am the only one who can control my weight, same for you. Good Luck. Check in here often, this place is like my version of AA, I do better when I'm active here on 3fc!
The sad thing is that every couple of years, all of us managers have training about discrimination and harrassment. This man is just such a jerk, he constantly makes comments to people. It's never pointed at one person, and he just thinks he is being funny.
Last summer I bought new shirt that was a really nice bright pink for summer. I can't remember the comment he made, but it was just hurtful enough that I never wore that shirt again.
I report to a Senior VP, and he said he chewed him out at their staff meeting this morning. I kind of got the impression that was as far as the punishment went.
I guess our Director of HR didnt think the remark was so offensive that it warrants an apology. I'm feeling really dissapointed by upper managements reaction to this, or lack of caring.
I really don't want to be here right now, just want to go home.
I have felt like that many times in my career (wanting to go home due to some discomfort). I'm so sorry you are going thru it.
You can't change him or the situation. Only yourself. And you are doing SUCH a FINE job of that! Somehow this situation has got to be put behind you so that you can bask in the glow of your accomplishment and move forward, leaving the jerk in your wake
Deep breaths, girlie. We're all behind you, all over the country, and beyond!
I look at it this way (and I've actually said this): I am strong enough to handle being mocked, picked on and treated like a second class citizen because you believe that sloth and stupidity led me to obesity. I could walk away, but I won't because maybe if I shut your sorry mouth up now, you won't say something to someone who's in worse headspace than I, and destroy someone who's too fragile to stand up for themselves. I'm changing my life because I love myself; You can't make me hate me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa32989
I have felt like that many times in my career (wanting to go home due to some discomfort). I'm so sorry you are going thru it.
You can't change him or the situation. Only yourself. And you are doing SUCH a FINE job of that! Somehow this situation has got to be put behind you so that you can bask in the glow of your accomplishment and move forward, leaving the jerk in your wake
Deep breaths, girlie. We're all behind you, all over the country, and beyond!
I love these! Ragdoll keep your spirits up and your head held high, even higher if he is around. YOU are so much above his petty remarks!
I'm learning that everyone I know is an expert on religion, politics and dieting! The comments people make can be utterly amazing and quite comical at times.
Hey,
I know how this is....especially with family! Some of my family is super supportive and I love them for it! My skinny mini sister on the other hand is not. Two weeks ago she told me that i would cheat atleast twice before Christmas! Then she eats foods around me and looks at me smiles and laughs...It feels so sh*tty. I started Oct 30,2012 and I am now down 30, there is no food/drink/dip or sauce in this world that could make me cheat(the cost alone scares me!)
Sorry for being so long. I just have been taking the positives and trying to block out the negative.
Wow-you keep on trucking! That weight loss and commitment is huge! Sorry you have such a cruel mean sister.
My son just reminded me of what I taught him to do when people were verbally ignorant to him. Just simply make them uncomfortable by saying something simple like "That was rude." and then continue on what you were doing and ignoring their comment. It's really bringing up "the elephant in the room". It was his comment that was uncomfortable and rude not your weight loss.
I do believe that we spend way too much time being nice to bullies.
When my new husband's college age sons would visit, they said all kinds of cruel things to him because of his weight (about 100 lbs extra). He would just laugh and rough house with them and blow it off. I think this was because he had so many guilty feelings about not being there for them during their teen years due to his divorce, but I could tell he was really hurting inside.
I listened to this go on for two visits, but then the next visit I sat them down and told them that this was my husband and that no one was going to talk to my husband that way in front of me - that behavior was not acceptable. Since that very moment 10 years ago, they have not said a word to him about his weight, except every year or so trying to encourage him in a positive way to get healthy. Sometimes people need a good lashing before they see what jerks they are.
I noticed the same sort of "good natured ribbing" at my staff party last night. My boss has about 60 extra pounds on him, and one of my coworkers was ribbing him pretty hard (they were high school classmates). He just brushed it off, but man was I tempted to give that guy what for.
It got back to me today that the women in the stores (I work in the office of a shopping mall) have been saying that my two week vacation in July (I went to the maritimes and spent some time in Chicago) was used to have a gastric bypass, and I just "made up" my vacation. I resent this not because I'd be ashamed to have wls, but because they seem to be implying that it's the easy out we all know it's not. My father had it. Two family friends and two high school classmates have had it. It's insulting that they think I'm weak enough to need their perceived 'quick fix' and I'm concerned that some of the other obese women in the mall may here them and be deterred from either surgery or non surgical weight loss because they've attached such a stigma.
I could have crawled into an entire pan of lasagne (I've been known to do that in my life). Instead I took my anger out on the pool and my triceps.
I noticed the same sort of "good natured ribbing" at my staff party last night. My boss has about 60 extra pounds on him, and one of my coworkers was ribbing him pretty hard (they were high school classmates). He just brushed it off, but man was I tempted to give that guy what for.
It got back to me today that the women in the stores (I work in the office of a shopping mall) have been saying that my two week vacation in July (I went to the maritimes and spent some time in Chicago) was used to have a gastric bypass, and I just "made up" my vacation. I resent this not because I'd be ashamed to have wls, but because they seem to be implying that it's the easy out we all know it's not. My father had it. Two family friends and two high school classmates have had it. It's insulting that they think I'm weak enough to need their perceived 'quick fix' and I'm concerned that some of the other obese women in the mall may here them and be deterred from either surgery or non surgical weight loss because they've attached such a stigma.
I could have crawled into an entire pan of lasagne (I've been known to do that in my life). Instead I took my anger out on the pool and my triceps.
Some people have nothing better to do than gossip about other people. It's disturbing that they would make speculations on the reason for your weight loss, without even knowing you.
My son just reminded me of what I taught him to do when people were verbally ignorant to him. Just simply make them uncomfortable by saying something simple like "That was rude." and then continue on what you were doing and ignoring their comment. It's really bringing up "the elephant in the room". It was his comment that was uncomfortable and rude not your weight loss.
I do believe that we spend way too much time being nice to bullies.
Love
Some of these situations just need thicker skin, bigger mouths, and an HR department
I had a few people tell me they were worried about me, about maybe I would gain it all back. I just think to myself, oh yeah, just wait and see. They talk about others that just gain it all back and I just think to myself, wow, what a do-do, they did all that work to lose weight, and gain it all back. No way I am going to gain it all back. I threw away all my 'fat clothes' I am not going to spend money on clothes again. I too much enjoy the small size I am wearing now. If I get to a point that my clothes are getting tight, well that is a sign that I'm off track and need to buckle down.
So just have a vent I need to get out of my mind.
This weekend of my neighbours who I went to school with and have knowing told me 12 years pretty much told me he thinks 'fat/chubby' people are gross and still considers me that way, and then proceeded to tell me that I cannot change the way I look. Um hello I have been working my arse off to get to this point and I still an going! I am pretty sure I used all restraint not to smack him across the face. Then he went even further to say my husband is gross and ugly because he is a bigger guy. Serious twitchy hand to the extreme. I guess it shows no matter where you go, you will always run into aholes who just have to bring everyone down to make them feel better.
