Oooh yes, I've heard very bad things about those Twisters too, apparently they're very very high in fat.

I forgot to mention before, the coolest thing happened to me on Saturday night. I was getting ready to go to a party and none of the 8 pair of trousers that I own fit me, they were all far too big! I managed to find one pair that fit - they had started off being a size 22 but I'd taken them in too much and they were far too small up until now

So yesterday I took about 6 bags of fat clothes to donate to a clothing bin and then I went to mum's place and rifled through the 3 suitcases of clothes I had kept there from my thinner days. Oh my goodness, I can't believe how much of it I fit!

I started off a size 20 on the bottom and an 18-20 on the top and now I'm an 18 on the bottom and a 14-16 on the top

That's awesome Julia!! Isn't it a great feeling? I also have several size ranges in my closet, and it's so good when you can keep trying on your "skinny" clothes and manage to get them over your bum!

I woke up today with sore ears, sinuses and throat - either I finally succumbed to the bug my parents have had for a month, or I got boy germs from my friend on the weekend.

Go with the boy germs

Gen - definately boys germs and you rock for losing 1.1kg
Julia - when is your weigh in??? are you not going for the .5kg to get you to your 10kg???

GUESS WHAT??

I joined the gym!!!! yippee for me!!!!! Jemima LOVED the kids club ALMOST didnt want to come home, but was pretty excited to see me... thank goodness as i almost cried during bodypump class wondering how she was.... i suck.... it was first real time had left her with strangers but as she was asleep when i checked on her after bodypump i went and joined up

pt sessions included in membership for 12 weeks BRING IT ON
SO PUMPED AND EXCITED!
and didnt go overboard on the pre and post dinner snacking today!
(and bought 2 new bras finally got fitted been wearing a cupsize too small since 10wks pregnant) and bought 2 pairs of gym pants.... in all a good day
yippeeeee

ps - i think it is very cool we are all putting our photos on our signature thingys - makes us real people.....

pps - does sleep or lack of have anything to do with weightloss success or lack of?

Yes, this week's goal is to lose 500g to get me to the 10kg mark but it's going to be tough as I've got parties to attend on Friday and Saturday nights.

Today at work we're wearing baby t's for Air New Zealand fashion week. They're pretty tight fitting and everyone has commented on how thin I'm looking!

Sorry my photo is so small but it's about the best I can do at the moment! I'll go over to a friends place some time this week and get a proper one done.

I haven't weighed myself for almost a week now. I know the scales will deliver disappointing news, and I'm not in the mood for it.

I just worked out that I have been hanging around the 85 - 87kg mark for the past 16 weeks, and I am not amused with myself.

Neither am I amused with my lack of self-discipline, and those weeks where I just can't be stuffed making an effort.

On the positive side of things, I haven't gained a great deal of weight - in fact I've done pretty good at 'practising maintenance'. And that's good. I think!

But I am not happy being this weight. I want to get below 85kg, and then work my way down to 80kg, but how do I get my motivation back? And how do I instill some discipline back into my life?

Hmmm…


Ani

hey ani
looking in the mirror and at photos of me as i am now is working for motivation for me...... i am so disappointed in myself that at this very important time of my life when i am raising an amazing little baby i am also thinking about my weight, that my excitment at the moment is the gym and the possibilities that it holds.....
AND knowing that if I dont lose 1kg a week I will still be a porker by XMAS!!!
IT WILL BE TOO LATE IN DECEMBER TO TRY AND LOSE WEIGHT TO LOOK GOOD IN THE SWIMMING TOGS! (i just got jemima the cutest bikini!)

so do you think photos or xmas can motivate you? also WHY have you lost motivation??? do it for yourself, do it so you can get over it and concentrate on something else! i cant wait until i lose the weight i want to lose, i just keep thinking about how good it will feel to never think about it again and how much more enjoyment i will get out of life with "diet" being in the back of my mind............

You want to know the truth Kel? There are two parts to it:

Firstly I feel so much different. I have heaps more energy, I feel better about myself, and I'm really experiencing the benefits of having lost 20kg. I am more talkative, more interested in other people, less inclined to be so much a hermit. And there's a part of me that thinks I've already done a lot of work and I want a rest. But while I'm really pleased with how I feel, I'm not satisfied with how I look.

BUT

Secondly, women are showing an interest in me, and it's freaking me out. And I mean freaking me out! I'm like: "don't bloody look at me", or "don't touch me" - and that's surprised me a lot.

So maybe just saying it out loud to you girls will be enough. Or maybe I need to scratch below the surface here and figure out what's really going on.

Ani - didn't we cover this some time back? I think it came down to you being able to move past the comfort and protection that the 85kg mark gives you. It sounds like things are changing for you - and change is always scary - but look at it as a challenge. You can do it, and we are here for you.

And isn't it a nice feeling knowing that chicks are checking you out? We all know that it's not about looks, it's about personality blah blah, but it should be a boost to your confidence, not a freak out moment. Maybe you aren't used to the attention? Take it one moment at a time. You'll work it out.

Kylie

Tell me about it Ani. Sigh. It's my reason for my weight gain - and staying there - too. It's my protection, and it makes me invisible to men, so I don't have to get hurt.

And maybe I'm starting to peel it off, and last weekend was a HUGE deal for me - I would not have slept with anyone, let alone someone I have known so well for so long, and will have to keep seeing in the daylight, if I wasn't a lot more confident already haha!!!

I worked out I've been 88-98 since may. I have wasted 5 months with my on-off-on-off bullcrap. No more excuses! I have realised, that with me, as always, it's all or nothing. I exercise religiously and eat well EVERY day, or I lose it altogether. Yes, I'm a bit anal retentive with my numbers and spreadsheets, but you know what? It WORKS when I do that! So while being a control freak is working, I'm going to embrace it!

What is the next step Ani if you keep losing? Having to *gulp* go out on dates? Do people "date"? LOL (I've only been on one date in my life - I seem to go from mates to boyfriends)! A counsellor told me last year that it's useful when you're scared of something - consciously or not - to say "What is the worst that could happen?" and then explore it. So what if you met someone great, fell in love, and then they walked out? Yes, you'd be hurt and heartbroken, but you'd get up again and the sun would keep rising. I think overweight people are often supersensitive people, who just use it as a buffer for our emotions.

Someday, we gotta just say "you know what, sometimes in life you get hurt, but by god it was worth it on the way!".

Honestly, I'd hate to die tomorrow and have WASTED half my life being obese and miserable, especially when the change is TOTALLY IN MY CONTROL!! As that saying says "if not now, then when? If not you, then who?"

Wow - far too many quotes and cliches for one post, but there you are.

Here here Kylie... Ani be flattered. Yep you probably are scared. Scared of feeling so good and not knowing where it's going to take you. Its prob not them looking at you cause you've lost weight now and yr more of a person than before. Cause you have always been you, just maybe a little introverted. It's prob more to do with confidence. If you feel good about yrself you radiate confidence. And thats a good thing. Walk tall and hold your head high and feel the spring in yr step.

Von xx

You girls are amazing, and you've given me something to think about.

Let me rant for a minute:

One of the things I love about sharing with you is that I'm nobody in here, and nothing I say gets gossiped about, or carries consequences. Because we don't know each other, and haven't heard of each other before, we don't come to this forum with preconceived ideas.

In my job I have a really high profile in the gay community. Most people I have never met know who I am, and they either want to suck up to me, or talk about me, or ignore me. Plenty of women are interested in me - but I never know if it's because of who I am … or what I do.

And while I get to interview famous people, write articles that are provocative and controversial, and do all the other good and bad stuff that's related to being in the media, it comes at a cost.

You girls know more about me than most people I know - because I feel safe here. And because I know you're interested in, and supportive of me because of who I am - and not because of any trappings and labels that might be attached to me.

I have trouble trusting that people want to know me for me. I've been stalked a few times (I don't know many people in the media who haven't), so I'm extra protective and cautious.

I'll get past this. Gen I'm going to write one of those sayings of yours on my noticeboard.

And thank you for listening to yet another of my self-indulgent rants.


Ani

Hey Ani. I kind of know how you feel. Like the others have said, the weight is so often a way of covering up. I've felt so unattractive for such a long time that I tend not to believe people when they say that they like me. Learning to trust again is a big thing.

Something that I've noticed in the last few years is that when my friends talk about sex and such, I won't say much because I've felt so ugly that I feel like I'm going to gross people out by talking about those things in relation to me.

As I'm losing weight though, I can feel the old, confident me coming back and while I'm nowhere near ready for another relationship, I can feel myself moving in the right direction.

ANyhoO!

As you can see, I now have a choice wee photo of me in my thingy I went to my friend's place and enlisted the help of her 14 year old so it got done pretty quickly!

No exercise for me today as I was too lazy/sleepy to get out of bed early enough for the gym and when I decided to walk to work I found that it was raining.

I'm off to the movies straight after work and won't have any time for the gym this evening so I'll have to make today my rest day and go hard for the rest of the week.

Keep it up ladies