Holly-we love you too!!!!!!!!
I totally understand what you are feeling-because I have felt the same way about those same things at times. I know how hard it is to have worked for your body...and then get sabatoged by someone who is supposed to be your biggest supporter.
I also understand what you mean when you try to make your body look its best, and try to take care of yourself...and you are with someone who does not appreciate that...or lets themselves go. I understand what you mean when you get upset about the internet porn. There are a few things similar that have happened recently that have come to light as well as the problems I described that I am not happy with.
If your email isn't secure-pm me here. I'd like to talk a little further if you want...but there are a few things I don't want to talk about in the regular boards-just because EVERYONE at 3FC can read it. If it were just you gals here and the gals over at the Alternachicks forum...then I wouldn't care...you understand.
I am here to support you whenever you need it.
~hug~
Aphil

Hi everyone, I am alittle slow but I have finally decided that losing weight really just comes down to calories. You have all these different diets out there but it really comes down to how many calories you are eatting. So I have decided to try counting my calories. IS there a place I can go to find out how many calories I should be eatting? Do most of you count just calories or do you also count other things like fats.

thanks

bev

Bev-I try to keep my calories at a certain level...usually between 1400-1600 a day for me to lose at a slow and steady pace. I don't count fat grams...because there are good and bad fats. Bad fats are the ones in red meat, shortening, and the trans fats in packaged chips and bakery products like Hostess and Little Debbie. What I do is not
worry so much about the small amounts of fats in naturally clean foods like skinless
chicken breast and the like...instead what I worry about is eating the most nutritionally
dense foods for the calories that I can...antioxidant rich produce like berries...high protein sources like chicken breast...high vitamin foods like citrus fruits and assorted vegetables...try to use food as a "fuel" for my body. Sure, I can eat 1400-1600 calories a day consisting of Snackwell's cookies and fat free ice cream...and lose weight, but they are nutritionally barren...and my workouts, muscle mass in my body, and my energy will suffer. I try to use diet "treats" like that sparingly...and instead concentrate on eating healthful foods that will fuel my body and give it what it needs. I find that when I do this, that I am more satisfied and less likely to binge. I eat fast
food or restaurant foods about once or twice a week...but I have gotten pretty good at finding substitutions and lower calorie foods that I can enjoy and not go off plan
with.
Welcome!
Amy

Welcome bev! I too aim for a 1400-1600 calorie range (when I'm actually being good). I found in the beginning of my dieting, the 1600 (and even up to 1800 sometimes) worked well but as I lost the weight, I really had to stay within the 1400 most days to see the pounds keep dropping.

Don't have much time to write now... I'll try to get back later.

Hope everyone is having a great day!!


Christine

Well, not really new. I used to be a member of WW, and at that time I perused this site quite often. I thought I'd join your discussion every now and then, so I might as well give everyone some background:

After countless dieting failures, I decided to go back to the common sense method about a year and a half ago. I'm counting calories (I aim for 1500 per day) and am exercising (aerobics, weights, pilates). I'm also trying to follow the food pyramid so that I'm getting a good mix of foods. I've gone from about 180 to 150 and would like to get down to 135 (I'm 5 ft. 3). During this year and half time period, there have been months when I ate maintenance calories (i.e., 1800-1900) because I just felt I needed more food at certain times (stressful periods, etc.). But, I've always journaled my food, counted those calories, and maintained my exercise program (even if I only exercised twice a week at times). On diets in the past, I would have lost weight a lot faster, but I also wouldn't have been nearly as consistent as I have been this time.

One important difference I feel this time around is that I now concentrate on eating a good, healthy diet than just losing weight. By doing the first, the second will follow. So, for instance, if I have a choice between a slice of white bread for 60 calories and a slice of whole wheat bread for 75, I'll now choose the latter.

I look forward to swapping stories with you gals!

Welcome bev and vmelo! and please ignore the rants of a certain temporarily-crazed woman on the previous page

aphil, thank you so much for your support and understanding. I had (duh) totally forgotten about being able to PM you here, which I will do. I am much, much better today...last night, I did mildly confront husband about the girly pics on his computer. I said that I know that it isn't a big deal to him, BUT it's a big deal to me, and out of respect for our relationship, to please not have them in my face. We had an issue last year, over me not calling to say if I'm going to be late...I didn't think it was a big deal, but realized that HE did, so I started making sure I called. So I expected him to do the same in this situation. I still said that I don't care if he looks, but not when I'm around! He seemed to take it OK, he usually tends to get huffy when he thinks he's getting criticized (don't we all, lol) but he got up right away to fix it, and I think we were OK about it.

AND to make sure we were OK about it, I stopped by his work on my way home from work today, and brought him a cold soda. He was happy to see me, I don't usually stop by unless there's car trouble or something.

And now to his weight...I guess I should be glad that at least he's trying...and has lost some weight. It's hard for me to not nag about doing it (the old fashioned way? ) the correct way, with eating less and exercising more...I can only keep on doing what I am doing, and let myself be an example. Maybe when the weather starts improving, he will start walking again. We know losing weight is fine, but what really matters is exercising that bod!

Okay, I know that problems haven't gone away completely but at least I'm not stark raving mad today, yay! and I have done very well in eating, and just did my "quick" (30 min) tape.

thanks again for the friendship here!!!!!

Glad you are feeling a little bit better about yoru situation Holly!!!! I also did 30 minutes of exercise today...and have stayed totally on plan so far...(it is after 6pm here) so things are looking up on that front!!!!
Aphil

Grrrr.. I typed a whole bunch and the damn window closed again. I don't have the patience to retype it all Blah!

I'll just update on my diet (we still talk about that right? ) I haven't been doing great... I've been counting in the mornings and then stop by mid afternoon when I get hungry and eat bad stuff! Argh!! However, the scale was still nice to me this morning so perhaps I'll keep trying

I'll try to remember everything else I had to say .. later...


Christine
180/177.5/130

Thanks for the welcome, Vermontmom. I'm going to just jump right in with my "progress report." As I mentioned in my previous E-mail, I've been on my common sense dieting plan for about a year and a half. During that time, I've only weighed myself two or three times (I tend to get freaked out with the fluctuations of the scale). I slacked off a bit during the holidays when I went to visit my family and could tell that my middle was getting a little flabbier. I felt as if I needed something to shake me up so that I could get with the program 100%, so I asked my sister to give me an honest assessment of whether she could tell that I'd gained any weight. She said, "Just a little around the middle." Well, that did it. It's sounds weird, but even though I knew that I'd gained weight around my middle, it didn't really hit me until someone else noticed. Since she said that two weeks ago, I've been on program with my exercise and calorie count. I've also decided to break my own rule and weigh myself once every two weeks to kind of pressure me to stay on program and to see the progress I'm making. My first "official" weigh-in today was 149.4 (my gym has a digital scale). I'm so ready to get these final 15 lbs. off.

So, here's the week's progress: I've exercised 5 days this week and plan to get to the gym tomorrow. That will be six days, which is my weekly exercise goal. I've done well with my eating too. I find that it's easier for me to stay on program during the week because I pack my lunches and snacks. On the weekend, everything's a bit too loose, so I might eat things that bring me over my calories. However, I'm trying to combat that by journaling my food for the weekend. We'll see how it goes.

How's everyone else doing?

Hi All
Have been missing everyone.,..we had our computer in for an upgrade and then had to take it back again. But now we are up and running.

I am doing well on WW. I have completed my second full week and I have lost 8 pounds so far. I am exercising at work (I work at a Physical Therpaists office) I am riding the bike, doing the treadmill and the weight machines. I hope I can keep up it up.
The weather here has been bitterly cold and my walk to work is horrendous. Should burn extra calories for that dont cha think?

I am loving my new haircut and as soon as I take a pic with the digital Ill be posting the new me.

Ok I have to catch up on the posts and see what the heck is going on!!!!

Ill be back !!!


Hello to the newcomers also

Nancy

Hello all!

Nancy, that's some great results in 2 weeks! If I had the money, I'd join WW online just for some structure but currently we're still jobless.

Welcome, Vmelo! It sounds like you have vast amounts of motivation. I have no doubt you'll reach your goals if you keep it up. Now if only I could find my motivation again somewhere! A couple years ago, I went from 195 pounds to 149 pounds... then I got pregnant! So, I'm back up to 178 at the moment and looking hard for my 'click'. Having people like you around is very motivating!

How's everyone doing this weekend? Me... honestly? I'm not even trying. Why? Got me! I think I need to sit down and plan. This wing-it thing is just not working. Maybe I should go on a search for my WW points slider and try that again. I just don't know! I think I need to dig out some of my old 'diet' books and reread. That seems to help.


Christine
180/177.5/130

Good morning everyone!

Nancy, HI!!!!! CONGRATS on your terrific two weeks!! That is awesome. Hey, girlie, we're almost at our TWO YEAR anniversary here! Way to go for us!!

vmelo, I haven't congratulated you yet on your great, long-term success. I can't imagine the self-control in not getting on the scale at least every week....but good for you in realizing that it's size and shape, not scale weight, that matters. You have an excellent exercise routine and frequency, also. way to go!!

hello aphil and christine! How are you ladies doing?

I did very well yesterday, until...later in the evening. And as we know, if we're just sitting around watching TV, that is condusive to nibbling at whatever's hanging around so I'm going to try to get to bed, or find a project to keep me occupied.

I was going through my weight/measuring charts yesterday...very informal, two years ago I started, just with a sheet of notebook paper, divided into the months, then each month recorded weight and measurements. I now have two years' worth, and it's encouraging to look at it. I asked husband to please make me a chart on the computer so they will look more official, and he actually did it the same day! usually requests take about 4 requests, lol; I think he is trying to make up for his indiscretions a few days ago

oh yeah - in looking through those papers, I saw that I had a HIGHER weight I had (tried to) forget - I was up to 187 at some point...think it must have been in late 2000...that must have been a tight size 16 for me. That weight must have been at a "no holds barred" eating time; that is the unhappy eating time! I must have been able to try to be in control at least a little for a few months, then I was at 176 when I officially started here.

Each day I exercise, I continue to be so pleased to see the faint but definite appearences of muscle tone in my legs; specificaly thighs, and improvement in below the knee. They just NEVER had any shape before, besides large .

Now with the Gilad tape that focuses on legs/hips, I will stop the tape after his session of 15 squats; then do as many more as I can, because I know they are effective, but not enough with the amount on the tape. Some days I will do the 15, but with dumbbells in each hand. I am looking forward to the day when I will tan up my legs with some lotion, then take some pics and show y'all They'll never be slender, but I don't mind big and muscular!

I hope everyone has a great day!!! And a plea for the others to come back?...KC? Kanola? Idealperson? tryin'hard? zadiek? tooround? Kina, Kina, I miss you! and any others, come back and say hey!

Hi, eveyone. I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Silence - I've gone through those low motivational periods as well (as I'm sure most of us have). I think your idea of looking through some dieting books is a good one. I find that even if I know the information in them, rereading them reinforces my knowledge and motivates me. Another suggestion that has helped me is to "pretend" motivation (my husband gets credit for that one). What I mean by that is when you're not motivated to exercise, psych yourself out and "pretend" that you are. It's kind of the same concept as smiling when you're feeling sad --just the act of smiling makes you feel better. Another suggestion (can you tell I've been through what you're going through!!) is to try not to be entirely on program but just have mini goals each week until your motivation comes back. I remember when my motivation was low, I was only exercising twice a week for a while. At least it was something; I knew I wouldn't go 5 times a week, but I didn't what to chuck it altogether. I hope some of these suggestions help.

Vermontmom - Thanks for the encouraging words. I think it's great that you've kept records on your weight loss progress for so long. I've always wanted to do that but have just never gotten around to it. You must be really proud looking over those records to realize how far you've come. Kudos on the definition you're seeing in your thighs. You probably already know this, but I've found one of the most effective lower body workouts to be doing walking lunges while carrying weights (I carry 8lbs. in each hand, but I started with 5lbs each). If I get no other lower body work in, I'll do walking lunges. Sometimes when I'm short of time and can't get to the gym, I'll do my weighted walking lunges around the house (e.g., I keep my weights by my side, and if I have to go in the bedroom or kitchen for some reason, I'll "lunge" my way there. Caution: this could generate weird looks from others in the household, including any pets). By the way, Jennifer Lopez swears by these (which means we'll have a body like hers if we do them, right???!!).

I had a stressful day on Saturday and relieved myself in the form of eating and drinking more. However, a couple of glasses of wine, a small Baileys, and two NO PUDGE brownies later, I still had only exceeded my daily calorie count by about 250. This is a real accomplishment for me in terms of mindset. The old me would have stopped counting after I'd exceeded the 1500 mark and gone to the convenience store for a pint of Ben & Jerry's. The new me realized that I'd gone over a bit, took responsibility for those calories (by writing them down) and will make up for it in the next few days by shaving a few calories off here and there.

Oh, well. Time for me to sign off. My hubby wants to get on the computer. Talk to you ladies during the week!

Hello all

Thanks for the tips, Vmelo. I actually got off my lazy bum and did workout A on my dvd this morning (for the first time). Its only a 12 minute workout but I figure, if I can get myself into the habit of doing this one... then move on to the workout B (16 minutes), perhaps eventually I'll make it to C (41 minutes). As of right now, its my plan to do A on Mon/Wed/Fri for 2 weeks and then move on to B. Hopefully I can stick with that plan!

I've actually NEVER worked out 5 days a week. Even when I was at my best and losing weight, I was working out 3x a week... 20-30 minutes on the treadmill. My ultimate goal someday might be to workout 5x a week.. 3 cardio and 2 strength. But for the time being, any exercise is better than none. So, I'll be concentrating on this DVD for now!

Even though I've had an awful week so far, the scale is still being nice and reading 177.5. I really need to take advantage of that before it decides to change its mind

Here's to a great week! For everyone!

Christine
180/177.5/130

Hi Everyone!!

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I've been in a deep, dark depression...and I'm still there.

As many of you know, we went through a very expensive ($50,000), addition to our home over the summer. We managed to get through all the trials and difficulties associated with spending that kind of money and working with contractors only to find that we now have the absolutely worst neighbors ever. Our house is now for sale and we are going to have to move. I don't even know where we are going to live.

These people have turned our quiet little neighborhood into a 24-hr nightclub. We've had the police out 12 times since July and my husband has spoken with the cheif of police twice. There have been two arrests made and even a newspaper article about it all. Seems the people living across the street from us are into having teenage boys and some girls over any night, sometimes all night and do not mind the noise, trash and parking on their neighbor's property. The police have put up no parking signs 3 times and they've been torn down. A couple of weeks ago, we had such a bad noise and parking problem that 3 police cars came out to get them off the road and the teenagers rushed them. It ended up that we had 13 police cars, 2 sheriff cars and one state patrol car blocking our little road. I, along with my husband, had to give a taped statement to an officer in my house at 1 in the morning...no make-up and in my robe. This is not living.

Our son has had to put up with a lot at school because the homeowners keep telling their "company" that we are the only ones complaining. We've had vandalizim here at the house and I feel it is only going to escalate as these people continue to have their parties even though the police have sent them registered letters stating that there will be no parking on the street and the noise level must remain low.

I simply can't live next to this...so we are selling a house that's been in my family for over 25 years and one that we've pumped nearly 100K into over the years. We can't move out until it's sold and I just can't stand living like this...my weight's gone right back up. I don't even want to know what my blood pressure is.

Anyway, I've started back journaling my calories but I'm not really dieting. I'm also not working out either...I'm just cleaning and packing and trying to wait till someone buys this house and I'm outta here.

It was good to come back here are catch up on the posts...I miss you all.