okay here is my story girls...I'll try my best to tell it.
I am the 6th kid in my family, actually 7th if you count the first baby, which was stillborn. My mom had me after her third child(boy) died of some mysterious virus that basically took him in about 48hrs. She kinda lost her mind for a bit and then thought having me would make things better.
She has always been the one that's worked har A@# off to try and give us a better life. She ran away with my dad when she first got pregnant at 15yrs old. He was a detective and could have done a lot more with his life if he wouldn't have been too busy with the drinking and the other women in his life
. My brothers and sister went through a lot of nannies, even though we were I guess borderline poor we still had nannies
.
When I turned 1yr old my dad came to New York (we lived in El Salvador-maybe thats why we were able to afford nannies.) He worked here and a year later we came to meet him. We came to live with him in a 2 story rooming house. Thats right 7 people in one room. My mom didn't like this at all and so she started working til she found us a 1 bedroom aptartment. Hey, at least we wouldn't have to share a bathroom with all the other tenants anymore.
So we all lived in that one bedroom apt for about 10 years. Both my parents worked, but my mom always managed to be around more. I was the only one in private school and was pretty spoiled with all the things she could give me. I was definately, a McDonalds kid and loved Chef Boyardee(sorry if misspelled). My oldest sister was like my second mom since she spoke English she attended all school events and helped me out with homework. I was a straight A student up until 4th grade when she begun nursing school and stopped helping me with school. I guess it was during these years I felt ignored, like everyone was too busy. My sister with school, my mom working all the time...and no one had time for me. So I started failing in school and dropping grades...for attention I guess. I started rebeling and so my mom decided it be best to go back to El Salvador for my high school years. This upset me but we still left. This time only mom, dad, and me.
Spent four years there and then came back to New York for college. Being over there had given me the quality time I needed with both parents and me and my dad had stopped fighting- we used to fight constantly. See, I hated the stories my mom would tell about him. So I started hating him to the point we'd get into fights and all.
Anyway we came back to NY in 1997 and I decided to move in with my oldest brother and his family because he was my favorite brother and growing up I had always admired him and saw him as my father figure. 2 and a half months later of living with him he passed away. This I believe was the hardest reality of life I've had to deal with. So the only way I knew to how to deal with it was rebel. Going out, staying out late, boys, alcohol (thank god never drugs), and of course dropping out of college. I was a real mess.
Its taken me a while, I still haven't completely understood but I have an idea now. I was the youngest one. Always had the attention and got my way in my earlier years. When this changed I didn't know how to deal with it, except rebel like a 2 yr old. My mom overprotected me, yet neglected to teach me how to deal with real life out there. So everytime I am confronted with a hard decisionin life I either run away, go into denial, regress, or rebel. I go back to when I was little and didn't know about the financial problems my mom and dad were having. I go back to the wonderful years when my mom and I fed the pigeons in the park. When she bought me dolls every week. When I ate McDonalds and Chef Boyardee. But I go back in different ways...I overeat, overspend, and rebel. I know this must change and I have gotten better. I have an associate degree in visual communications, I have a steady full time job, and my own apartment, ironically next door to where I grew up for 10 yrs- go figure. I guess for some reason eventhough I had the material stuff my mom gave me I was missing the love. I know she loves me and that's why she did all the things she did, but I needed love from her- feeling wise. I guess that's also why I eat, spend, and buy so many pets...I feel lonely. Funny, when I am with Andy I don't feel this way....man I hope he stops drinking.
Well girls hope this hasn't bored you and believe me this is just a segment of why I am the way I am. I just figured I sum it up a bit.
) and I often just make things up on the fly that taste so good that dh and I just eat and eat until it's gone. So, I'm planning my menus now so that they are low calorie.....then we can really eat all we want. I'm thinking lots of cabbage dishes (I have several recipes that make cabbage taste delicious! and have practically no calories) and soups. Oh, and I'm now setting dh's lunch leftovers aside BEFORE we start eating, instead of just taking what's left. That way he ALWAYS has a lunch ready, it saves him money not eating out, and we have less to consume at dinner. 
