So I'm at the end of Week 15 binge free, and I find myself in an unusual situation. I am being asked by my treatment program to reduce my exercise and start to increase calories and the types of foods I eat. I have never been told this in my entire life! They preach getting out of the 'dieting" mentality and are encouraging me to eat what I would call non-healthy foods, like dessert, pastries, or foods that I crave.

This is very hard on me. I don't mind maintaining while I go thru treatment, but I am so scared to gain. And to have to drop about one day a week of exercise AND start to eat like a normal eater again is so frightening to me.

I want to comply and have reduced the exercise this week. The treatment team has totally changed my life by helping me deal with my binging behaviors so I know in my heart that the next step in recovery is to abandon the diet mentality forever and watch portion sizes, and eat the foods I love in an appropriate manner. I can hardly believe that I could have a non compulsive attitude towards food one day...but I find myself wanting to restrict food intake again to compensate for less exercise

Fortunately, I happen to have learned to love some "healthy" foods. I could eat salmon and other seafood every day. I like chicken, veggies, fruit; I prefer the taste of brown rice. I think they don't believe me when I bring chicken, whole grains and veggies to dinner and say that's what I want, even more than pasta, for example. And I don't think they believe it when I say that some foods (like pasta) just don't appeal to me the way they used to.

I was emptying my closet today and tried on some of my pre-150 lb weight loss and I sooo don't want to ever be there again. I have to trust the people who have helped me, but man, this is a challenge.

Damn...thanks so much for your kind message. Unfortunately I did have a very productive morning but then I blew it later this afternoon. Epic binge I know the reasons...TOM plus a couple of small thing stressing me out I just need to learn to cope. I wonder if it will ever get better.

Well, I just binged too. This was day 12, and I blew it. I should not have saved all my calories for junk! I ate 4,100 calories above maintenance, and the worst thing is, I was so hungry, it all went down too so easily! When will I ever stop repeating the same mistakes?? Will try to get back on the wagon tomorrow. Worst thing is, I'll be traveling on business and living out of a hotel all week, will have many stressors, and lots of temptations. I hate being a food addict!!!! I just want to cry (and probably will as soon as I finish writing this and put the food away.) Why do I have to be a food addict?!?

Kittykatfan- I can only imagine! I'm sure this will be a huge challenge, but maybe it will also be a huge stepping-stone. I love hearing about your successes and I think that your people seem to at least know what they are doing a little bit. ;-) you have come so far!! I think you should just try to trust the process and see where it takes you. Good luck!

Sufergirl- I am sorry to hear about your rough day! The good news is that it's over and now you can move forward. I know that feeling- will I ever get better- but I have to believe that it is possible for each of us. We CAN change for the better, we just have to keep looking for the pathway that works for us. Hang in there... You can do it!

Today makes 9 days for me!! I'm pumped to be over the one week hump! I have had some cravings but have tried to just let them pass without giving them too much thought. I have also been staying super busy with work and cleaned my house instead of eating today..: so that has all helped!

Danzingurl--nice going!!!

Doingmybest--sorry to hear we both went down the wrong path. Let's make this a good week in spite of all the stress.

Oddly, my weight went down after my binge. That's never happened to me before (even though i know it happens to some other people). My binge was SLIGHTLY healthier than it sometimes is--i actually ate some protein instead of having it be all sugar. So i'm just going to tell myself that's the explanation for the scale going down; and the next time i enter a binge (which i hope is never), i'm going to try to minimize the sugar and eat more protein.

Doingmybest- I am sorry to hear about your binge! I hope you were able to et back on track! Of it makes you feel any better, I think 12 days is awesome!

Surfergirl- holy cow- a loss after a binge?? That's pretty crazy! I hope you are feeling better today though!

I nearly binged today... But I went for a little jog instead and am SO glad. A few more hours and I'll have made it through day 10!! I'm so excited about making it that far.... I hope I can keep it that way!

I had a rough week last week... It was midterms- so lots of work, so I ate to procrastinate and when I felt overwhelmed. :\

But today was a solid Day 1. I was intuitive, ate very healthily, didn't have seconds except when I was hungry, could eat 1/2 of something and finish it later, and rationally treated myself with chocolate chips without getting carried away.
Tomorrow is going to be Day 2, no exceptions.

So...was doing great until today. I had my lunch packed, went to work, was planning on going to class afterwards. Well..plans changed, I ended up coming home due to some bad news I heard at work/general depression. Ate more than I should have (2200 calories.) Didn't "binge" like I normally would..but still went overboard and ate even when I wasn't hungry - just bored. I don't know why I do that. It's like I need some excitement and food is what I think will work???? My boyfriend just went out and I'm home alone with lots of food...but I have a large glass of water with me to keep me from binging...

Pushing through day 10! I think my body is actually getting used to not having a binge all the time. I'm now trying out this whole 'mind over matter' mantra that I use while working out, and applying it to the food, especially temptation food that tends to be around me at work. So far it is working, I know I can do this!

Day 2 is almost over.... as soon as I finish my tasty bowl of strawberries

I am so proud of myself! I had seconds for breakfast, despite not being hungry, but it was just fruit and oatmeal (plain, no sweetener).
I had 1 bowl of soup and broccoli for lunch, and dinner, I had wild rice salad with lettuce and chickpeas and veggies. Super tasty, and I didn't give in to the urge to make a pb&j and eat that too.
I snacked healthily and intuitively and went running
And tomorrow will be Day 3!

12 days.... I feel like I hanging on got dear life. I'm so glad I can go toned soon to stop feeling hungry!!

Haha * to bed was what I meant to say... Glad I get to go to bed. Anyways, I made it- now on day 12! If anything I feel even hungrier than I did yesterday but I really want to get to the end of the month... Right now the desire to meet my goals is stronger than the urge to binge, but I'm very afraid that that might change by the end of tonight... Somehow I've got to make it to tomorrow- so I may have to come back here and post 10 times today... I think I am getting better at determining "real" hunger vs "binge" hunger- and this feels a lot like real hunger... So I am hoping that after a big lunch of veggies I'll feel better.... We'll see.

Ok so I know its the 12th, is it too late to join in on this?? =/ I could really use some help with binging.

just a quick check in...still binge free and strong.
no urges so far, but my pms should arrive soon (if it even arrives) and i will be eating like crazy. right now i'm in a good place, and no worries =no binging for me right now.
wish you lots of luck

Day 11 has been very successful! I am really believing in myself and my strength again. I don't know why I ever stopped, but it seems like this is getting easier by the day!