Just a quick "Hello".

I am not well at the moment. I have a feeling that 'things' just ran me down a little. Basically our days were...

Weekend - Wake up, hospital, shopping, hospital, lunch, hospital, home and sleep.
Week Days - Wake up, work, hospital (ran to catch the train), home to sleep.

I thought I was doing fine, but obviously my body wants a break. I may also be going out in sympathy with Daryl, as he is not well enough for visitors for a couple of days. He has reached an emotional low and he also has a mouth full of raw ulcers, so his doctors said he needs a couple of days of no visitors and no talking. I can't visit him while I am sick, so this was well timed. Hopefully we'll both be better tomorrow for Mother's Day, as Mum was coming up with my sister from the country for a visit.

As far as Daryl's leukemia goes, we are not REALLY sure. The docs say that things are going well, but then they give him a transfusion of some sort, either platelets or regular blood. I know that they know what they are doing, but I just wish he would start to FEEL better. I suppose it is hard, because you can't SEE the cell count going up.

I have STACKED on the weight these last few months (am now 200lbs!!!!!) and I am NOT happy. I have to find a way to fit healthy eating into hospital visits. I started exercising again in the mornings this last week and now I am sick! I don't think I got sick BECAUSE I was exercising, but it has stopped me exercising again. AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I still feel in control of my weight, and don't see myself getting back to my biggest weight, but I am also very disappointed with myself for letting things even get THIS far. I KNOW what to do, I have just lost a little of the mojo I need to do it.

Thanks for listening. I'll try to write more over the weekend, seeing as we won't be at the hospital as much.

Take care,

Zelma

Hi Zelma,

Just wanted to pop in to wish you luck, and ask if your brother is taking Kepivance (palifermin). It is for severe oral mucositis. One of the reasons cancer patients lose so much weight is because they are unable to eat because of the ulcers. I am not sure the product I mentioned is approved for use where you live, but I hope it is. I work for the company tha developed/launched the product, but we have recently sold the product so I am not just saying this to make more money. Here is a link to the website. If you google it, it should pop up.

Angie

Zelma -- I really feel for everything you're going thru with your brother. I send my good thoughts and hopes.

I am in your shoes, weight wise. I am also back to 200 pounds, know what to do, but can't sustain it. I am VERY disappointed too, but I get the sense this is VERY common for those who lose a lot. So let's keep fighting!

I had one of those days where I did everything I wanted to, ate right, and didn't feel crushed by cravings. Man, I wish every day could go like that. I'm lucky to have one of those a week. If I could bottle it, I'd make a million. Why is it so hard to stay in that "zone?"

Heather - Thanks for your kind words. At times I feel that I just can't cope with the thought processes to cope with Daryl's problems, work AND my weight issues. And it just seems that my weight is taking third place, whereas I need to make ME the priority again. I think that I truly don't see it as urgent anymore, so I have just let it slide again. But I don't want it to GET to urgent again either, so I need to concentrate on things again. I hope you can do the same for yourself.

Catherine - When you find a way to bottle that "zone", could you send me a crate full. I would even battle with customs, just to make sure it made it through. (We have VERY tough customs, but I'm tougher!)

Angie - I don't think you posted the link for Kepivance. (Unless I'm missing it somewhere, which wouldn't surprise me, in the state of mind I'm in at the moment.) I don't know if they are giving him anything for the ulcers specifically, but he is on high doses of pain killers that make him very groggy. He just gets told that he will be better in a couple of days. He keeps getting told that every couple of days, and it has been a week and a half now. He is getting a little 'upset' by the "better in a couple of days" statements.
Thanks for the suggestion and I will definitely look it up and pass the info on to Daryl and SIL.

I got an iPhone today, so I could even show them the link next time I see them. I have NO idea what I can do with an iPhone, but I know I have Internet access, so should be able to play with it.

Does anyone have an iPhone, and have any suggestions for what applications I should download?

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Take care,

Zelma

Thanks for the welcome back :]

RealCdn - Don't worry, I wasn't planning to undertake some kind of extreme dieting. I usually lose 7 lbs in the first week then 5 lbs the next so that's almost a stone. Thanks for the advice :]

Well, I am off to carry on with my courswork, gah!
Beth
xxx

Zelma - *HUGS HUGS* Hope you are okay. I know you are going through a rough time. I don't think you will ever go back to your old weight. Seriously. We all will struggle for the rest of our lives with the weight thing. Stacking on pounds here and there. One thing to consider is that if you have been eating food you normally do not eat, you may be retaining and it may also be making you feel ill. I know with my birth control pills, Trinessa, I am bloated and what I thought was weight gain wasn't all gain. It also has made me sick again, so perhaps you have some of those issues? Thinking of you and your family.

Bazz - Personally, I don't see anything wrong with dumping weight if that is what your body does lol. Every one is different. Why not add a green smoothie for breakfast or something like that to get you going? I love green smoothies, very light, filling, and healthy. Good luck with your course work!

****

I've lost weight, but I can't tell because I'm bloated. Thank you Trinessa! I swear the nausea came right back as soon as I started my new pack of BC pills. Darn white pills...last night right after dinner, I went to lay down on my tummy as I had some cramping, fell asleep. Haha. I slept until this morning, I must have been tired. :/ So, I'm wondering if my body is just trying to adjust to the pills. Maybe it takes a few months??

So, right now I have no idea what my real weight is. Last I looked I was back down to 280 pounds. I'm thinking of doing another Juice Feast, but something shorter than 30 days as I did previously. I was just thinking of doing something to cleanse myself for a week and just jumpstart me. Maybe I'll just do smoothies. I dunno...I need a week where I concentrate on my needs and not debate with myself over things. If that makes sense.

Hope everyone is well! Going to do my workout later and then a long walk tonight.

Zelma -- You hit it on the head... it's the same for me. It's NOT as urgent, but it could easily get there...

Let's both try to put us first! Good luck with everything!

Zelma: Prayers and HUGS to your and your brother!!! I hope that things get better soon!!

Jacquie: That is one reason I am scared to take BC pills. When I was younger and on them, they made me sick so I stopped taking them. With my periods all messed up I am afraid he may suggest that. I also thought about having the ablation done. Has anyone here had that done? I have my tubes tied and have no plans for anymore kids. I have heard the ablation works great for some, and not so great for some.

Heather: You can get back on track I know it!

Catherine: I will take 3 cases of the "zone" once ya get it bottled

As for me: Yesterday when I got home from school my son handed me a paper from teh school. It basically said that they day before which would be Thursday, an unmarked police officer saw 3 hispanic males driving outside the high school and saw one of them with a gun. OMG!!! From what I understand, they were planning on shooting up the high school!!!!! Luckily that was early release for the kids. It scares me to death that this crap happens!! My youngest keeps saying he hates going to that school. BUt Arizona is BAD with gangs, and most schools are like that. So now I have something else to worry about.

Today I am going to clean a bit and try and sew a bit. My STAPH is healing. Went to Dr yesterday he said I have some sort of viral infection. BUT since I am getting betton my own, he will give me an antibiotic, but not to fill it unless I am getting worse. I am going to try and keep getting better without it.

HUGS to those that NEED them!!

Heather, Zelma, Catherine, Erinkman1, even though I haven't ever got down to my ideal weight, I still struggle with what you are going thru. I can be so good all day long, but when night time hits, out the window it goes. It's so hard!!!

We went to the casino yesterday. Gosh it was fun!!! I sat down at one of the slots and won 90 bucks on just $20. I had lost my club card that you insert into the slots but decided to get one again so was using that and my name was called for the "hot seat" which is who ever happens to be playing a certain machine and using their card, get's $50. Jim had won $50 with his $20 but put it back in the slots. I walked out with $100. Off to go plant shopping I go!!!!
Have a good day!

Debbie
www.youravon.com/dwisely

Walked my little (ha ha) legs off today. I am really trying to push myself to walk everyday again. I have so much stuff I'm supposed to be doing. I promised to finish my next book this summer, and the publisher has gone from threatening to have my legs broke, to try to bribe me. I finally decided that I need to get selfish again, and focus on what I need rather than what everyone else wants. We'll see how long I can keep that up.

Himself wrote an article about our marriage for a feature in the lifestyle section of the Edmonton Journal. Little nervous about it. So yesterday they wanted to take photos of us. I was working a plant sale at church, so said they could come over there to take them. This photographer was insane. He had us hold almost a dozen bedding flowers up for the picture. Austin was holding a geranium in a pot around my shoulder, and I even had some petunias balanced on my elbow. Then 10 minutes after he left, he decided there were too many tables and chairs in the background, so he decided to use a longer lens to fuzz out the background. He stood up on a chair across the room, and we had to reload our arms with these silly flowers. I so love having my photo taken as it is.

Cyn - Yeah, the sickness is really draining. I'm hoping it gets better. I got on the pills for hormone control and birth control. It is the generic form, so I might switch to the named brand as from my reading people have better luck with it. I know they mess with your system something fierce, but I do feel like the pills have caused me to gain weight, which obviously freaks me out lol. I'm hoping that I can get back to a comfortable place within the next two weeks. Otherwise, hmmm plan B I guess! lol One thing my OBGYN said is that most of the BC pills are considered low dose now. Whatever that means...it still makes me sick and then I swell up...like up on top. Yeah they are big enough thank you. LOL!

******
I'm training myself to get up in the morning. I got up this morning at 4:30am, just got up before the alarm went off as I hate the wake up alarm lol. Took me awhile to wake up this morning, so I left for my walk around 5:30am and spent 60 minutes walking, against the wind and uphill both ways hahahaha. I want to go further, you know like 120 minutes, but 1) I get bored...even with my ipod! 2) I'm just not strong enough yet. I'm lugging around 280 pounds, short/fat legs...yeah briskly walking along and about the second lap around this cookie cutter neighborhood and my hips are feeling like they are grinding lol. Still all good!

I've decided that walking every day is boring to me and I need to mix it up. Plus I also love Yoga and miss it greatly. So, I've decided to switch off my walks and do every other day. On my strength days, which I start again this week, I'll do Yoga. That will get me all ready for it anyhow. On my aerobic days, I'll go for my walk.

I hope everyone is well! *SUPER HUGS*

Jacqui OMG!!! WHY did you get up SO early? Sorry the BC pills don't agree with you, aren't there any other alternatives you can try?xxxxxx
GG/Carol, thanks for the email pics, Even just in a 'head shot' you can see your cheeks, chin & neck look slimmer!!! WTG!!! Don't you have any full-length pics taken at the same times? How is your dog? I saw his tail had to be 'taken off' but missed why, hope he's feeling better soon.xxxxx
Zelma, I hope you're feeling better soon, all this stress it's bound to take it's toll. Hope your brother hangs in there & fights hard. I suppose taking fruit or prepared salads might help, but who am I to offer advice to you, who's done so well? hugsxxxxxx
Beth, great to see you again, did you have a wild time without your Mum & Daren?? LOL!!!! How's studying, not much longer to June/July & a big rest then for you.xxxxxx (Hugs to your Mum, tell her I've started AGAIN today, & she has to tart on Monday, or I'll send the boys round!!lol)
Well I'm doing ANOTHER plan, low-ish carb & low fat, first day today but I forgot to weigh....something I'm not looking forward to.
I'm enjoying being at school 1 day a week, I 'seem' to be doing okay, teachers want me in their classes & I've gotten the 'naughty' boys to get their work done...here's hoping in a few months I can start looking for a job doing this sort of thing. I've decided though IF I work full-time I will get a cleaner to come in 5-7 hours a week as there's no way I can do laundry, get it dried, hoover etc at night. As I actually don't like cleaning it would be an extra bonus & leave my weeek-ends free for gardening & outings.
Anne, great to see you back, congrats on the marks!xxxxx
xxxxxsharon

Voodoo - My OBGYN said to come back in three months, that was a little over a month ago, so I think when I do go back if it is not better by the end of next month then I'm going to ask for alternatives. It is frustrating as my weight has gone up in addition to my already gain at the time when I started taking it. I have lost some of that weight, so I'm back down to 280, but like today I weigh in at 284 and yesterday I was 281. With the nausea and the bloating, who knows what I weigh!

As for getting up early. I'm trying to train myself to get up early, so I thought why not just get up really early today so that tomorrow it seems like I'm sleeping in a bit haha. My mind is always working up ways to trick myself.

Happy Mothers day everyone.

Anne: thank you for the compliments on my avatar photo. That is sweet.

Smiles: I had to laugh at the image of you running from the Barista. Hey, whatever keeps you on your program. lol.

Jacquie: I hope you settle in to the meds very soon and start to feel better.

Erin: today is a new start. Hugs.

Zelma: I am continuing to pray for Daryl and your family. Hugs to you and just know to take care of yourself sweetie. Once Daryl is feeling better he may want to take long walks with his sister and if you are too overweight you will feel icky and it will be harder to walk so do your best sweetie.

Heather: Come on Heather, You can do it! I know you can. Here is a hand up back on the wagon. It is such a journey but you are a tough cookie ... well, lady and you can do it.

CAtherine: So glad to hear about your walking. We walked to church and back today and plan on doing it every Sunday that weather is permitting. It is a bit over a 1/2 mile to church one way. I am so proud of you for walking. Way to go.

Beth: Hi there. Tell your mom hi for me.

Debbie: Have fun planting your flowers. I am going to plant my veggies this week I think.

Cyn: I am glad that you are feeling better. How scary about the gangs though.

I finally changed my weight tracker, not happy about going up two pounds but I have been stuck at 215 for some time now and needed to change it to match what I actually weigh. I have upped my exercise tremendously this past week with all that bouncing on the trampoline and doing the Jillian Michaels Wii game for exercise. Hopefully I can knock out these last 5 pounds to get to my next goal and keep it off this time. Time to go bounce.

Blessings all,
Annie