Oh goodness... what a board... After speaking with my doctor, I am considered a binger. I would not eat much all day then would stuff my fat face silly after dinner until I felt like puking - every day!

If I still binged, I would eat:
2/3rds of a large (family size) bag of salt and vinegar lays potato chips (lord knows what kind of calories are in that)
A twix chocolate bar for the sweetness to wipe out the salty
Then eat the rest of the bag of chips to get rid of the sweetness.
Big glass of coke to wash it all away.

All I want to do right now is binge. All I want to do in the entire world.

Fought with the boyfriend. Not a huge fight, but a huge one for us, as we don't fight often at all. Invited to a Halloween party by a friend and decided not to go.......not based on anything except the fact that I know ALL the girls there will be HOT and wearing HOT costumes, and I won't. I'll be the fat girl who couldn't find anything to wear. Which is true.

Trying not to binge. Don't think it's going to work......

so angry right now ..want few of below foods

chocolate cake with chocolate icing
hersheys milk chocolate bars
lindt ex. and hersheys res. bars with 65-70% cocoa
white macadami white chocolate cookies
chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks
cocoa puffs
chocolate pudding with strawberries
pumpkin pie with cinimon vanilla whip cream


pizza - double cheese with crushed red peppers, basil, and side of garlic bread
breaded fish sandwich with lettuce tomatoes and tartar sauce
burger king or mcD fries with salt
subway club meal w/ cheese mayo mustard - extra tomatoes and with 2 cookies double chocolate cookies


will try to stuff myself with tasteless saltless roasted chicken, tasteless steamed veggies and nasty oat bread till so full cannot think of other foods. i really feel like a addict going through withdrawl with those above foods, chills, endless thoughts, hallucinations that everyone is eating them intentionally to make me crazy!

I go through stages where i binge like mad for a few days, and the next few days i don't really feel like eating at all. It's weird... anyway i've put on a few pounds this week, today i haven't eaten much really so i'm hoping next week will be a losing week!

Hope you chicks have motivation to keep out of the kitchen today

yay it is almost a midnight - i did leah! I avoided a binge. I feel like I fought a battle since my 1st post was so early in the day, I distracted myself by spending most of it out of the house and then watching Telly horror movies since 7 pm! Funny how watching the exorcist can keep you from eating, just a healthy dinner of salade wth fish chunks, and a apple.

I tell you - sure feels good to avoid it for once!

My boyfriend Jeff was working late tonight, and I ended up bingeing on fruit and half a bag of chips. My stomach was so swollen and painful! I looked like I was 6 months pregnant, and I couldn't walk without pain. God, I feel so ashamed to admit it, but I have to get it out there.

Lying on the couch afterwards trying to feel better, I thought, "This is how people end up needing to lose a hundred pounds. Is that what I want to happen to me?" I know that it was cruel, but I needed to say it to myself.

The only thing that I can do is reaffirm the reasons why I want to eat healthy and take care of myself. I kept myself from moving onto the other half a bag of chips that was sitting on the coffee table, and I will try again tomorrow.

I am going to focus on eating reasonable portions of healthy foods. I am going to avoid binges above all, and I will lose these last 10 lbs.

penelope - i'm glad you didn't eat the rest of the chips - just think how awful that would have felt. throw them away!!!! i hate wasting food... but leaving them on the coffee table is just unneeded tempatation.

stick to your reaffirmations - best wishes!

off topic but Iris I love your dog. Beautiful!
Shepards are my favourite.

Possible victory???

**** at work today, and came home expecting to hang out with my boyfriend, watch a little Nip/Tuck, etc. Well, it turns out boyfriend went to go see a movie...and the first thing I thought was "AHHH I CAN EEEEEEEAT!" So I ran across the street and ordered some mozzerella sticks, chicken fingers, and fries. Got back to the apt. so so so excited to eat them, got through about 3 mozz sticks and realized they didn't even taste good. I thought maybe I was just being weird, so I tried the fries and the chicken, too -- and NONE OF IT EVEN TASTED GOOD!! And this is something that I thought was my favorite food (chicken fingers, that is) and I couldn't even get through more than one. I even went out to throw them out outside because I didn't even like the smell.

Maybe we're getting somewhere with the whole eating right thing? Maybe even my tastebuds are changing now that I'm aware of my binging???

artsnsmarts - Good for you, girl! I think that your taste buds definitely change depending on your relationship with food. For instance, I used to devour huge quantities of milk chocolate, but now it just seems fake and much too sweet. The only kind that I really enjoy is dark. I also used to snack on alot of junk, and now I prefer a juicy apple or a crunchy vegetable with some light ranch for dip.
I've also found that if I binge on a food that I may have normally eaten with a meal (i.e, green beans), I can't stand that food for atleast a week. I hate being turned off of some of my favorite foods because I indulged in too much all at once.
Jeff and I had a fight, so now I'm pulling a late nighter alone No eating though, because I don't care to have the taste of food in my mouth, and I already gave myself my star for the day.
Take care!

I have read that you can, over time, recondition your taste buds to NOT like fatty, greasey foods, eg. chicken fingers. I didn't used to mind that stuff (though it was never a binge food for me, I've always been a sugar binger), but now, I don't much care for it at all. Sadly for me, apparently the same is not true of sweets - if you have a weakness for them, that's your cross to bear. You can learn to avoid them, eat less, etc., but you can't "train yourself" to not like them. And believe me, I've tried!

Janie - I'm sorry! I read your post wrong, so I've deleted the comment that I made.

artsnsmarts: i don't think my taste buds have changed - i still think fries and mozz sticks smell delightful and are tasty, BUT my stomach does not appreciate me eating food like that anymore... i always get sick when i eat really greasy stuff.

unfortuantely i still have a major thing for sweets and carbs. i agree with janie... i don't think that ever goes away.

and thanks chickyboo - shepherds are my favorite too.

oh carbs are my absolute weakness. why hasn't evolution caught up with us yet, huh??!?!?

I'm tired, and we're watching movies...yay for cravings

I want the other cooler that I have in the fridge, and the chips that are sitting on the coffee table (thanks to my honey, of course).

Why will I not give in? Because I already gave myself my star, and I don't feel like getting rid of my gum.