Sarah Ann - I sympathise! Every day I go for an hour's walk at lunchtime. From my desk, at a BRISK pace (4mph), it takes me 10 minutes to get to the beach, and then I walk at the same pace from one end of the promenade to the other and then back to work - it takes me between 58 and 60 minutes, depending on if I've got a following wind or not.

About 12 weeks ago, one of my collegues invited herself along, and she now comes with me 3 days a week. She's a fit girl but she talks A LOT, and on those days I find the walk takes me over 5 minutes longer.

Then about a two months ago, without consulting me she invited along another two colleagues, one of whom is not fit at all. In fact he weighs over 20 stones, and he hasn't done a jot of exercise for 15 years. We took almost TWO HOURS to complete the walk, with both of the newbies *****ing and moaning with every step.

A week or so later the unfit guy invited himself along again, and that time I didn't slow my pace at all. I told him he'd either have to keep up with me, or I'd leave him behind and he could go at his own pace. He tried to keep up for a while and then dropped back, and eventually he got back to work almost a full hour after I did. It worked though - it put him off, and he's never invited himself along since!

I use my walking time to unwind and get away from the office - I don't want to take the whole team with me! I did think if he didn't take the hint then I'd just have to be blunt with him, but luckily my strategy worked and seems to have put him off walking for life. Run your neighbour ragged tomorrow, and then she'll probably come up with ten reasons why morning walks are suddenly out of the question.

You have to defend your exercise time - it's precious!

Janey

If anyone's interested I just added a new post to my Blog - it's about what I learned in Shape magazine. Mainly head stuff but I found it very useful. I might bookmark it to remind myself occasionally!

Janey - that sounds horrendous. Does the first colleague, the one who walks with you for 3 days a week, realise how rude she was by bringing along those other people.

Yay!!! I got it sorted! I thought about it some more and decided that my health issues were more important to me than her waist line is (although I'm sure its very important to her!) I decided I had to get it sorted out today otherwise I was going to keep going over it in my mind until I did.

I was very 'sweet' about it - I just popped round and took her a sweet potato and copy of my target and achievement records from when I started getting serious about walking being exercise (ie showing my targets and then showing what I did manage to achieve and giving times/miles/steps/mph) and suggested that if she's serious then she might want to use something like it in her own training sessions to monitor her progress - and then when she's up to the same times/distances as me then we can train together. I never used the word 'walk' once - I kept on calling it 'training'. I also said I was going to be adding some regular jogging intervals in to my training soon and she was welcome to join in. (OMG - I can blag my way out of anything.)

I also took round my food stuff. I (very nicely) said that if she is serious about exercise she might want to adjust her eating because training takes it out of you if you don't get the protein/carb balance right. This was actually a bit cruel on my part because she refuses to admit that she's overweight, even though she is only about 5ft and must be about a size 22. She told me she's big-boned, I think she could tell by my face what I thought of that.

I did offer to give her any help or advice she wants, but I think she was a bit gobsmacked because (like everyone else) she didn't realise how seriously I take it.

Nice one Sarah!

Frus, thats a good blog! Your friend sounds like someone you don't really want as a friend. If she were a REAL friend she would be happy for you for being strong.

The making of reasons to be committed to getting fit/losing fat is something which is heavily featured in the BFL book. I don't know how good I am at all this visualisation stuff though.

I think what the article didn't really address is how close food and love are connected and how to deal with the problems that causes. I've got a naturally slender husband and he occasionally used to bring me home unusual breads and cheeses because he knows I enjoy them, it was the hardest thing in the world for me to not eat it because it almost feels like I'm rejecting his love. I tried to explain this to him when I asked him not to bring any more home - and he doesn't understand what I meant at all! I think it was because in MY childhood we didn't get cuddles, we got food instead. Food was looked on as an expression of love. (How can you NOT eat something that someone has cooked for you it shows how much they love you?) But in HIS childhood food was just looked on as a necessity. His parents didn't fuss if he didn't finish his dinner but he got loads of cuddles. The outcome of that is that none of his family have had a weight problem, except his older brother who married a woman from a background very similar to mine and she also uses food as an expression of love. Unfortunately she's another one who gets tearful if she thinks her husband rejects her love by not clearing his plate - luckily I have managed to overcome that particular little idiocy.

Thank you. In my friend's defense - she was pre-menstrual, I got shouted at quite a bit that weekend! I know it must suck for her because the roles have really been reversed for her. I used to be the big girl, she was always the sexy skinny one! Plus her mum is quite ill at the moment. It's the first time I've ever seen her in a foul mood, I was quite surprised. Perhaps we have just grown apart.

About food = love. I know I do this with DF! I make his breakfast, then his packed lunches and if he's home I'll make his dinner. I "look after him" Then he moans about me not wanting to snuggle up after a hard day (because I just want to sleep) and my defence is I made your breakfast and your dinner, what more do you want! Plus if I didn't feed him, he wouldn't feed himself as well as I feed him! Although I wouldn't feel offended if he didn't eat what I made for him. Well not all the time anyway

I suppose in my upbringing food + cuddles = love, but mainly food was comfort (Mum still is a huge comfort eater) and entertainment (car journeys). I suppose I need to get away from the entertainment aspect of it. I'm doing fairly well with the comfort eating, mainly because I don't get upset about much any more!

Oh the whole food and love thing. My mum always worried about my weight. But whenever I came home from uni for the weekend, or if I was stressed, out would come the cakes or biscuits or chocolate. It was her way of telling me she loved me. But it gave me such mixed messages. Col really misses me cooking cakes and things for him. But the problem was, he wouldn't eat them, or not alot of them, and I would eat the bulk of it.

I loved that blog entry frus. It's really got me thinking. I'm slipping back a little into eating something like a biscuit or a cake because its there...........they'll always be there, and am I really going to hamper all my good work by eating a dang biscuit???

I know better, I can do better.

It seems to me I can get one of the three right at a time, if my eating is right, then my exercise and mindset aren't, if my exercise is right then my eating is rubbish.....I need to keep all the balls in the air at once.

I feel a renewed sense of focus, which is suprising considering its been a weird long day at work.

Great post Frus - I agreed or resonated with every word you wrote.

The "there will always be..." mantra is a great one, that I tell myself all the time. I was forever eating things because I couldn't bear not to, but now I remind myself that these things will be available all the time, and it won't kill me to do without them. Of course when I go to Rome, all bets are off...but then, that's what vacations are made for!

Janey

PS - well done Sarah, that was one **** of a display of adult, assertive behaviour. Good on ya!

Good post, I've been guilty of most of those recently. I have a tendency to think "oh, it's OK, I will still lose if I run enough" but that's not a particularly healthy way to think. OK, so it works at the moment, but what if I get injured or don't run for a while? Wouldn't it be better if I had an attitude of eating enough to nourish myself - so more when I'm training, less when I'm not, rather than eating what's there. I noticed that the food I've been taking to work has been increasing in quantity - supposedly because me taking an extra bit of flapjack is still healthier than a chocolate machine trip, but of course if it's there, I eat it, rather than it being a "for emergencies only" slice of flapjack.

The past two days I've been a lot better though, I was an again today with my eating. I'm not sure I'll make it to yoga tonight because I had to work a bit late and won't have time to let my tea go down, but I've packed my food for tomorrow (2 meals - either because I've got Spanish after work or a free training course in Manchester, I haven't actually decided which one I'm going to yet!), and I'm now going to attempt to stay out of the kitchen for the rest of the evening.

I ran for half an hour on level 8 hills this morning, it was VERY HARD! I wanted to do a shorter, higher intensity run so I guess that fit the bill.

omg how slow does she walk.

Maybe take her for a short walk then dump her. you need the exercise not meaning that in a nasty way, I mean otherwise you are going to have to do something else to compensate and that sucks.

If she can't at least try and shes never going to walk properly smoking every 20 mins then shes just slowing you down.

Well hopefully she'll take all your hints now


Grrr I can't go to the gym my feet are so blistered. i have raw ankles and heels still, and blisters by each big toe.

I walked to uni today thankfully in my comfy shoes and that killed more than enough

I'm gonna start journalling my food again, I bought two little notebooks at ASDA last night, one for my food the other for my exercise. I'm gonna start planning my workouts myself and ditch the trainer, who I never see anyway.

I'm getting increasingly annoyed with the gym. The pretty girls get ALOT of attention, whilst the fat chicks get ignored and left to get on with it. I like to think it's that I know what I am doing, rather than sitting gormlessly on a fit ball flicking my blonde pony tail in the direction of the fitness instructors, but somehow, I don't think so.

I'll bide my time though before really kicking off, but the day will come, I'm sure!!!

I had a great workout last night. Did my own thing with the weights, bumped everything up, and trained to failure. I feel so energised the next day when i do that. No walking this morning, it's raining, and I have pilates tonight.

Is it sad when you get excitied about Pilates class?

Kylie, I think you'll see the benfits of keeping food and exercise logs - mine definitely help me stay accountable. If I've been having a bad food day I'm always tempted to skip writing down what I've eaten - as if not writing the calories down made them disappear somehow - but I force myself, because I like to look back and see what I've eaten and how it affected my weekly weight etc.

Besides, it's fascinating to see a year's worth of data on what you've eaten - it's eye-opening stuff!

As for they gym - that was the reason I stopped going to my gym. It p*ssed me off that I patently needed some help (and asked for it repeatedly), but the trainers ignored the stuggling unfit folks and hung around the free weights area comparing six packs with the lycra guys and drooling over the Barbie dolls. Either you should speak up and get it sorted, or strike out on your own. I'm sure you can find all the help and guidance you need on these message baords somewhere!

Happy Thursday everyone,

Janey

Holy guacamole I just fitdayed everything I ate yesterday - 2750kcals! And I went to bed HUNGRY! OMG What the is wrong with me??? I feel really annoyed about it, but I KNOW I was properly hungry. I got home and had a nap after work, then DF came home earlier than I was expecting him, so we had quite a long walk instead of me doing my weights. We lazed around in bed watching Wallace and Gromit from about half 9, so it was a relaxing evening, but so much food! *sigh* and I felt so on top of things yesterday!

I have plenty of healthy food with me, and I had the most filling breakfast - cereal, oats with a protein shake on the top!

Right, kickboxing tonight, beating up the inner fat girl again.

I'm so dissapointed with myself

OMG I have just got the MOST *****IEST e-mail I've ever had in my life because I DARED question an "award" this woman feels she is giving me! It's spam spam spam and they're trying to get money from me - it's a one year free, then spend £75 a year with us for the rest of your life deal!

I'm apparently only one of 17 students in my university to be awarded this "prize". I can't believe someone can be so *****y because I enquired about what the "award" entails!!! She has automatically asumed that I don't want the "award" because I dare question the value of it! Oh dear me! I think she was pre-menstrual!

Good news is - it's amused me for a whole hour and has annoyed me enough to psyche me up for kickboxing! Hooray! I'll keep the e-mail and read it every night!

JUST WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS???

Oh the whole debacle's in the Blog with a "reply" from me.

We have a new (skinny) lady coming onto our team at work. She saw my food diary (she's never met me before) and said "should you be having honey??" I nearly jumped down her throat and took it out!!! And I'm not even pre menstrual.

I'll certainly keep going to the gym, but I'll be more proactive about my routines, if I can't get help. But I am going to scream and yell and make some noise. Justice for fat chicks!!! Shall I make t-shirts???

Oh Jen, that was very funny! Send that email!