Hello all!

Just a fly-by today, as usual. I don't seem to have the time to keep up with this thread, even when it's slow! I don't think I posted my "confession" here yet. The Count LIES! That 95 should be back to 89. Yep, substantial gain over the holiday and I'm back to where I was two months ago. But once again I'm back on track. I just REALLY need to recommit and start over like I did in Feb 05 and DO THIS!

I guess the problem is that while I still really, REALLY would like to know what it is to be "normal", I've been fat for my entire life and for me, a women's 16/18 (US sizes) IS slim! I truely think that if I'd ever been a 10/12/14 or whatever I'd have more motivation to get back there. But the smallest thing in my closet (pre-baby, mid-20's clothes I just couldn't part with) very nearly fits now and in the back of my head I think "I'm good now" even though I'm really not!

I am a lazy person at heart. Always have been and this isn't any different. I made good grades in school without really working at it, but I never pushed myself either. I was the person who'd drop a class if it was hard and take one I could make an easy A in. I was bad at math, so I took law. I was bad at physical education, so I substituted easy classes like badmitten and swimming and even a military science map-reading class. If I don't like doing something, or if I don't think I can do it well, I either don't do it or find a way to go around it.

I don't like this about myself.

I just really don't know what to do about this. I lay in bed or sit on my butt in front of the TV and think about exercising. I think, "If I work out maybe I'll firm up and like my body better even if I don't lose weight." or "If I get some exercise maybe I'll start losing again." But I don't DO it! I know I should stay OP and journal and I know it works, but it takes effort and so I don't DO IT!

I'm not happy about this.

I keep hoping that this exercise thing will work like house-cleaning. I tend to let my house go until it grosses even me out and then clean for hours. But you know, then I let it go again, so that isn't a good thing either. How do you change habits of a lifetime? How do you overcome a very basic part of your personality? I've ALWAYS been a sedentary person, even as a child. How do I change that? I know I have to if I'm going to lose any more weight. How do I get motivated to be thinner than I've ever been in my life? I know it's more about health, but that really didn't work for me in the past. When I was hospitalized for my BP I still didn't get motivated to lose weight for over a year. I don't know why I ever got motivated, other than just being enormous. Now that I'm not "enormous" I'm really having problems getting and staying on track.

Okay, this wasn't a fly-by. I'd intended to just do a couple quick replies and got on a long-winded introspective thing instead.

I need to go, but I think I will go ahead and post this. I don't really expect replies, but maybe when I re-read it later something will occur to me. Forgive my taking up space.

Hello ladies

Im so glad this month is at its end. I gonna weight tomorrow to get my final loss of the month, I have absolutely no idea what to expect. i havent weighed myself in two weeks, havent done exercises, havent really been carefull of how and what I eat...I guess I need to get my self ready for a bit of a disappointment tomorrow. Oh well..
But still I have to say life is slowly getting back in track. Dad came home from hopsital, he's not well, but I guess he never will be again, diabetes has done a lot of damage to him..but he is ok though.
I wasnt around lately but hopefully, I'll have more time in the following weeks.

Hope you are all well, nice to see some new people around, and Im so glad to see dogpal's back-hope you're better

Take care girls

Hello Ladies,

Boy has it been a while...but here I am again. The only difference is this time I am not all hyped out about loosing weight. I am feeling pretty down and am not sure how I am going to do this. I just know that it is absolutely necessary for me to loose this weight. I have always been the person that says that I am happy the way I am and that I am active and I feel okay. Well that is now a lie. I am starting to have trouble even walking. I gained weight over the Thanksgiving holiday and I have completely forgotten about working out or even getting my butt of the coach. In the back of my mind I would say "Terry, go to the threads and it will make you feel better" but somehow I would manage to not do it. Well I have to thank "Going to Loose 200" When I got her Christmas card it reminded me that there is people out there who don't even know me but know what I am feeling. So here I am again and I am not even sure that I will stick to something to loose the weight but I can tell you that I am going to try my hardest and at this point that is all I can do.

Thanks for listening.

Terry

Hi all -- I decided I have to jump in somehow, so I'll pick up replying to people who've posted since my last post

Valerie - I loved the story of the "evil" wedding. You can always say you're going and then wake up with a headache on the big day It sounds as though your decision to talk openly about what was troubling you has paid off. Hope you stay happy! (It's so much easier to be on plan when you're happy!)

Shadie -- Hello! Hope things settle down so you can get back on track.

Zelma -- The assembly sounds lilke fun and your ideas for the radio broadcast are terrific.

Lilion -- I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm starting out on a long road now, but years ago I got to within 20 pounds of goal and stopped. I felt and looked "OK." Like you, I'd never been thin. I decided that if that happened this time, I would either stop at that weight for a predetermined, measured time -- six weeks, say, restarting at the 1st of the next month -- or perhaps restart at that weight, pretending I'd never been 295, just start over again at 230, or whatever it was. You know it will be worthwile to keep going! Good luck to you.

Toni -- Hello and welcome! I'd like to know what plan everyone is following. It might be a good thing to add to the profile, so that we could see it for each post, like the SW/CW/GW.

I'm following Weight Watchers for now. I've been bouncing back between WW and low carb for years -- one of the reasons I haven't been losing. I have to pick a team I'm like you -- if I can eat anything, I do. I know that breads are a temptation, and that I can give up junk food snacks with relative ease, but if there's a loaf of bread or package of English muffins in the house,, then that's Snack (with butter and jam, of course). So low carb won't let me do that. But it's so hard for me to stick to! I'd love to know what everyone is doing to get an idea -- I think I'll post a thread! Thanks for the idea!

Kayley - Sorry you have the flu! Great idea on the Xanga blog. Whatever keeps you motivated is good!

Lavandel -- I'm sorry that your father has been ill, but glad life is getting back to normal.

Terry -- Sounds like you got a good kick in the restart button! Good for you!

This has been an OK week for me, but not perfect. And, like all imperfect perfectionists, it drives me crazy not to be perfect. My first "baby step" is to plan, and eat, regular meals at regular times. (I know some people are very successful eating six small meals a day, but, because I'm a grazer, that doesn't work for me. It leads me down junk-lined paths.) I've been doing that, although two nights my "regular meals" have been sandwiches. But it's a start.

Next week I will start exercising, and the next four weeks I'll be working at home and will walk a half-hour a day. Really, truly. So Heather, I'll happily join in on your exercise thread!!!

Hi chickies,

Well, I'm back from my PT for the day and I am feeling really good. I got approval to ride my bike for 3 minute increments. I am going to try to do them often if I can. I felt so claustraphobic with my braces on last night that I begged my DH to help me cut them off. Thankfully he knew I was having a fit. lol. I have 14 months of wearing them so, I am going to concentrate on loosing as much weight and getting as healthy as I can in those 14 months. I want to see how many medications I can stop taking due to obesity. Mabe I'll keep a journal about it. lol. It is so cold here and snowy right now. I adore that snow and we have so much of it right now that I am wanting to make a snow man in the front yard. If I get brave enought to do that, I'll be sure to take a photo to share with you all.

Patti: Hi sweetie. Hope you are well.

Xena: Yikes! That doesn't sound like much fun having the graff.

Ammi: I promise I'll be careful. You are such a sweet hear to worry.

Val: Hi and welcome back. I am so glad that things are better for you and Bill right now. I hope with all my heart that they continue for you.

Shadieeeeeeee: Oh my goodness I have thought of you often and missed you so much. I hope you are doing well in spite of all the family staying with you. Please don't go MIA again without letting us know you are okay.

Zelma: I wish I could help you out with what you should and shouldn't do. lol You will do wonderful I bet.

Lilion: You can do it. Come on Lilion. I know you can. You are a strong beautiful woman.

Toni: Welcome to you. I hope you find all the wonderful support you are looking for here. These ladies are fabulous.

Kayley: HUGS feel better soon.

Lavendel: Good luck with the WI and I hope your Dad gets better.

Terri: Hang in there. You can do it.

Xan: You can do it. Very happy to meet you!

Blessing to you all,
Annie/Dogpal

ANNIE i am jealous of your snow!

Hi everyone!!!

I guess sitting here catching up tonight is a pretty comforting experience. On one hand, one half of me likes to hear all the successes and achievements that some of you have but the other half of me is comforted knowing that I am not the only one going through a struggle.

Kayley~ Sorry you are sick again hun.

annie~ good news today from your PT!! Take it slow!

toni~

Shadie ~ back!!!

Terry~ Glad I could help!

To everyone else, ammi, sharon, nancy, patty, valerie, lilion, sue, melissa, jilly,... there are so many!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Brenda

Hi All,

Well here I am posting late in the evening again. When I think of what I was like when I was in the throes of depression, constantly in bed unless I HAD to get up, it amazes me how NOW I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. Not that I am complaining…I love being on the go and having a life

Kayley - nice to see you posting. I know how you feel about not wanting to post here unless you can write to everybody. I feel like that too, so I definitely understand where you are coming from. Don’t let it stop you writing though, no matter how short your posts as long as you check in, that’s the important thing

So sorry that you are sick again, I wonder if you are getting enough vitamins from your diet? It certainly seems like you are getting sick a lot since you started your weight loss journey. Have you mentioned it to your doctor? I hope you will be feeling better really soon

Sue - hope you are keeping warm in those cold temps, brrrr!

Xan - you said that you stayed in your points but made bad food choices the other day. Do you mean you chose something like a high point food in a small amount rather than a low point food in a more filling amount? Did that make sense? Anyway, I just wanted to say that as long as you stay within your points you shouldn’t feel bad or like you haven’t had a good day. That’s the best thing about WW, there isn’t any guilt as long as you stay in your points. At least that’s the way I look at it.

Valerie - How wonderful that you and your hubby are getting along so wonderfully now. They say good communication is a must in any relationship and it seems that the long talk you two had really has done some good. It’s lovely to hear you sounding so happy, well if you ignore your feelings on your SD’s upcoming wedding

Shadie - How wonderful having you post again. I just love seeing your posts, even before I read them I love how colourful they are and seeing all the emoticons, it’s brilliant

WOW have you got your hands full still or what, and you have even taken in another person, your son’s friend. You are one amazing lady, and yes, definitely you will be kept in my prayers. I hope the court case isn’t too awful, the girls’ mother really is a piece of work isn’t she. The sooner you are the girls’ legal guardian the better

Zelma - your post about your class running the school assembly brought back so many memories of when our class did the assembly. I used to love and hate it when it was our classes turn. I loved getting all the projects together etc, but hated participating on the stage. One year I had a speaking part but had a horrible cold. I could barely speak, so spent most of my time on stage clearing my throat so that when I did speak I could hopefully be heard. It was a horrible time, but it was nice at the end because when the Head Master commented on our class effort I had a special mention for still making myself heard although I was so unwell I was only about 8, so I was pretty pleased Anyway I digress, lol, I hope your assembly goes well, I wish I could hear the kids singing the Reindeer song

As for your question about how to not go too OTT over the holidays, I think all your suggestions are good ones. The only other thing that I can suggest which is one of the things I am going to do, is where possible replace things like chocolate with things like dried fruit etc. You may still be getting a lot of calories, but at least they are healthy ones

Lilion - Sorry to hear that you had a gain, I really hope you can get back on track especially with your exercising because I think it would be a MAJOR achievement for you to get to that 100 lbs lost Milestone. I know you are happy with how you are looking now, and I don’t blame you, you do look fabulous! I think I said before but I will say it again, if I looked like you do now I would definitely not want to diet anymore. I reckon for your sense of added pride you should get to that 100 lbs lost, and then maybe just concentrate on maintaining for a while. I am sure that when you want to lose a bit more weight again after that you will get all your willpower and motivation back

Toni - hi and I know you have posted on other threads, I saw one on Xan’s thread, but other than that you are new to me, hence the welcome I have to admit I find it strange to hear how people like yourself don’t get on with the WW diet. Personally I find it much easier to diet BECAUSE I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay in my points range, rather than trying other diets like Atkins where you are so restricted with what you eat. I hope you find a plan that suits you well and will last you through your whole weight loss journey

Lavandel - that your weigh in tomorrow won’t be as bad as you think it will be. Just remember that whatever you may have gained you can soon lose again

I am glad your dad is home now, though of course it’s sad that he is so unwell. Is he listening to his doctors advice now? I sure hope so.

Terry - what can I say, well first of all I am sorry you are feeling so low. I think we have all been where you are now, especially after a weight gain and when your body really does start complaining. I felt like that earlier this year. I had been sick for a while and had surgeries which I had long recoveries from. As my health improved I realised more and more how disabled my weight was making me. That was the kick in the butt I needed to start a diet again and STAY on it. I have tried dieting on and off for 20 years, something went very wrong though because I started at 180 lbs and after all those years of yo yo dieting I ended up at 329 lbs That’s just wrong lol. So believe me Terry if I can get on a diet and lose 90 lbs and still be going strong, determined to get to goal, then YOU and all of us here can do it. This is such a tough time to be trying to get on track, so all I can say is to just take it a day at a time. You CAN do this, and soon we will all be cheering for you when we see those lbs coming off

Annie - phew, I am glad to hear that Joel talked you out of taking those braces off. I can’t begin to imagine how awful you were feeling to have that reaction, especially since you have wanted to have them for so long

Thank you for checking with your PT that it’s ok to do 3 minute increments on the bike. Did he also say how long a rest between each increment you should have?

Brenda - thanks, I had a good day today, got a lot done, boring stuff though. Tomorrow the fun stuff starts, Daren and I are going to put all our Christmas decorations up I love how pretty the house is at Christmas time

Sharon - sorry I haven’t caught you for a chat on MSN recently, it’s definitely been a hectic week. I hope all is well and that your eyes are healing well.

Ok time for me to go now, so take care all and I will hopefully post a little earlier tomorrow.

Hugs,

Ammi

hey guys
i posted a few new pics. None of me but of my tree etc... there will be pics of me on sunday. I am going to my work christmas party on saturday night... yeah!

Brenda

Hi ladies,
It's rainy and cold here. I guess the snow is gonna miss us. I'm glad and disappointed at the same time. DD is Oklahoma City says lots of stuff is closed down there as they have 3" of snow and should get a total of 6"-8". She said the closed the base where my SIL
works. I laughed my butt off...closing the base cuz of a little snow.
But, I guess it's something they rarely see.
I'm not totally op today, but partly. I got in a little walking today at work. I'll try to hit my exercise bike in the morning......it's so hard to get up early to do it, but I WILL TRY MY BEST!

Misti, How are you holding out, Honey?. I heard y'all are getting more icky weather. Hope you're safe!

Valerie, YOU ARE NOT HORRIBLE!
I totally, completely understand your feelings. I think we've talked about our SD's before.
:yike: You go girl...on losing weight and looking totally hot for the wedding! And it's so cool you and Bill are getting a long better. I'm happy for you that he is taking finicial responsibility!

Xan & Annie and back! Xan....try to find low carb tortillas, bagels and english muffins....or at least whole wheat english muffins. They're just as good and the carbs are loser.
Annie, I'm glad you're back. I remember you from when I first started .(i love the name annie)

Shadiepurple You must be a saint! Keep up the good work! It's an honor to know you!

Zelma, Our weight loss queen, inspiration and grounder......it sounds like you have a
wonderful plan to me. Bulking up on fresh veggies and cutting "bad" carbs are tricks that
work. Ammi and I have talked about not beating ourselves up when we're a LITTLE
naughty.....being aware of what we eat is a positive step in the right direction.

Lilion, Honey, I really am thinking it's the time of year. Many of us are having a hard time....losing motivation, focus, drive etc. Just remember, you'll be the best you can be for you, your family ....did I say you yet??? Don't give up, we can't! Remember, find at least one positive every day .....even if it's only drinking your water, or staying op only one or two meals. It's still positives! :hugs:

Toni I use fitday.com as much as I can. Somedays are better than others. It counts the calories for you, tracks exercise, tracks nutrition etc. I've done Atkins and did great...35 pounds in 3 weeks.........but it led to diverticulitis. NOT fun!
I'm confident you'll get lots of good suggestions.

Kayley, good grief girl...did toofat44 make you sick too??? poor baby!
Hang in there. Remember Misti's scale was stuck for a while. But, her measurements have decreased at an amazing rate! Hang tough my friend!

Lavendel, I don't know what to say so I'm sending you a huge cyber

Terri, We'll all make it through the holidays and then we'll all totally kick butt at the beginning of the year. I'm currently trying to have at least one successful, positive, every day.

Ammi, hope you and Daren have a wonderful time decorating tomorrow.
You are so right,.......we're all here to cheer each other on and we can all succeed.....even it's only a little at a time. It's still progress!

Katt WHERE ARE YOU??????? I miss you and your positives for the day. I hope your ankle is better and that work is good. Enjoy your pay check!
Since you're not here, I'm gonna give you my positives for the day.

1- I got pics from my daughter's wedding and they're just beautiful. I'm very proud of her.
2- Littles DD, Abby got her progress report for half way through the grading period. She's in 3rd grade. She has all A's and 1 B. At the first grading period she had a D :yike: in math and she's brought it up to an A. Her B- is in social studies, but she just did well on another test. Her teacher says she's making good choices in school and becoming a model student.......Zelma...I have a model student. :hooray:
3- My family is safe even although there is all this yucky weather in the US.
4- I got a precious, precious smile from DH today. I do love that silly man!

That's all for now ladies. I'm gonna try to log on in the morning AFTER I ride my exercise bike.
Sorry to anyone I missed by name. It isn't on purpose.

Okee .. just a quick stop by ..

I have updated my blog .. not quite weekly lol .. but Im gettin there

The weather is overcast, last night it was stormy .. but Im actually enjoying that lol ..

Right ... yes Sandy I have been lax in puttin in my positives havent I??? lol .. I do tell myself them each day, so Im keeping with that plan, but maybe I need to budget my time a little better to make sure I can get in here to post the positives ... and hope that everyone else will do the same .. hey even if you cant think of 5 .. think of ONE and let us know what it is

1 - I got a compliment card from a customer in the store last night, she was very pleased with my service .. and when the manager came by she stopped her and told her that I was her legs!! rofl Lovely woman
2 - My daughter 2 nights in a row has had a lovely home cooked meal for me when I have gotten home after 10pm at night! And she has even cleaned up the kitchen too!
3 - My ankle is a lot better .. and even standing at work is becoming an easier thing to get through
4 - My dad fixed the fence so the lambs cant get out to the front again ... so hopefully the leaves on the rose bush will grow back AGAIN! rofl
5 - My hunny will be home tonight ... about 2 hours after I finish work lol .. oh and the sod has lost another 4 pounds!! ARGGGGHHH ... sometimes he makes it so hard to be happy for him rofl .. esp when he has Burger King, Curry House, Chinese, etc etc etc .. does that seem fair!?? But he is coming home, and he has kept off his weight (well lost another 4 from his goal weight with Jenny Craig) for just over a month so far

So yes last night at work was a nice one .. very quiet cos I dont think many people know that we are open until 10pm yet (usually only til 8) ..
A little TMI sorry lol .. but TOM is becoming very wearying ... definitely heavier than I have ever had .. using 2 forms of protection and still having to change less than 2 hours .. makes it a little harder at work .. but hopefully it wont be much longer .. Im just getting really tired .. but drinking a lot of water to help a little .. and having lots of green veges for the iron, today is the first day for cramping so I should be happy about that lol .. could be coming to an end! Only ummm .. 15 days later grrrr

So my weight has gone up for my weigh in today ... 2.5 pounds!!! Grrr .. but I know that I have had to eat a little more because of TOM, and my craving for chocolate has been terrible, but I have been trying to restrict myself .. still having more than I should ... but could be worse lol ... just want to get over this one and get back on track again.

Im not going to set an exercise goal for next month, not that Im not going to do anything .. I am ... but as my hours are erratic every week I cant estimate how many hours I can get in .. but what I will do is keep adding my minutes together each week and add it to Decembers total to help up reach that WOWSA 200,000 minutes! I hope everyone else (even those who dont post often) will just jump in with your exercise numbers .. even if you count them up for the entire month and post how many ... PLEASE ADD TO THE TOTAL AND HELP US GET TO THAT AMAZING GOAL!

Working again tonight and tomorrow night (less time with my hunny .. grrr) .. and then next week I have an extra 12 or so hours (longer on the weekend so even less time next weekend from my hunny boohoo) .. still .. he has been surprising me each night with a phone call just after I get home, so neither of us has hung up until midnight lol ..

Huggies all ..

Oh .. Lillion ... hunny I really do understand what you are feeling like .. but then I havent even got halfway to the 100 .. I know in the first few months I was doing everything right .. and really I have to return back to what I was doing then .. esp in regards to keeping my food diary .. I havent done it for a couple of weeks and Im sure that has made me slip up something cronic. I think I reached a point where I had finally gone down in size that I thought ok I am fine now rofl .. silly me ... but like you I just have to go back in time and not size and stick to my original plans instead of thinking I know best .. if I knew best then I wouldnt have been as big as I was to start with!

Huggies everyone

Hello everyone,

Jill, Welcome back from your holiday! I'm glad you didn't do too much damage over Thanksgiving.

Michelle, What a relief those results must have been. It seems like forever since you've had those tests taken.

Annie, I'm happy to see you back. Hopefully, it won't be long until you are given the "go ahead" to exercise.

Misti, I am so envious of your snow. Here in NH, it was 66 degrees today! 66! Normal temps are in the 40s this time of the year. I love and can't wait for the snow to come, particularly because the ticks will finally die and I can stop pulling them off my dog. Ick.

Melissa, I can completely relate to your last post, as I have those self-defeating thoughts often. You definitely don't want to give up, so maybe you can focus on improving one area a week: more veggies, more water, etc., instead of focusing on everything you "should" be doing. That is what I am doing to get back on track, starting with the exercise.

Ammi, Speaking of exerise, I am mucho impressed with your exercise minutes this month.

Heather, I am going to try really hard to do more than my goal this month for three reasons. First, to help lose my recent weight gain and to hopefully lose a few more pounds before I see my parents. Second, to make up for not making my goal in November. Third, to help our minutes along! I don't want to start off with an unreasonable goal, but as of right now, I have every intention of going past 950 minutes.

Well, I hope everyone does well tomorrow. While I obviously love the weekends, I have to say they are my "downfall" every single week. Anyone have any suggestions for not falling off my plan every weekend? (Jill, I know you have the same issue...)