Hi Everyone,

Sorry I was gone today but with my afternoons taken up by my experiment the morning seems to fly by and I stilll never get anything done it seems. Unfortunately I don't get up early enough to e-mail in the morning so if I don't have time at work you miss me (and I miss you).

Gotta get to bed but want to tell you both that you are doing great and I will catch up as best I can tomorrow. I do want to read your blog Jessica. Also, I'd love to hear anything about cooking too as I am pretty ignorant also.

Jessica - how was the workout? I am glad you were able to enjoy your day of eating. It is amazing how the food we eat affects us though. I am just starting to put things together about the food I eat and how it makes me feel physically afterwards. My problem is trying to remember the feeling before I start eating the 'bad stuff'.

Today wasn't a bad day for eating. I had my breakfast and lunch as planned (yogurt tasted terrible and did not bring enough chicken but...), protein bar at 4:30ish and then a salad for dinner with one slice of bread with a little natural pb. This was a good eating day for me.

Congratulations mette on losing another pound!!!! You are so lucky that you are on vacation. Were you able to finish painting today? I had to buy more paint when I painted my office too. It is amazing how much paint wood can soak up.

Just a note - I put some squash out yesterday as a fluke because there were a lot getting too big on the plants and so I picked them. Soemone actually came by and bought them! There were more today (squash grow really fast) so I picked them too and put them out. Who knows if they'll sell too but it was kind of neat to have decided to pick on my own and price them and everything. The ones I picked today were a little smaller (people don't know that that is really better though) so I dropped the price. I don't get the money so what do I care. I just like the feeling when they sell.

Glad to see you lilwolfe. I was wondering where you had gone.

Have a good night. Ang

Hi girls!

Hope everyone had a good Monday. I am soooo tired! Definitely not used to waking up at 5 a.m., but it was worth it. Felt really good to know I got my exercising done for the day first thing. Work was a bear as well. One of our permit techs (that's my position) is on vacation for two weeks, and for some reason, more than half our staff was gone today, either vacation or out sick. So needless to say, it was a trying day. No screamers though, so I was thankful for that!

Ang, so nice to know everything's ok. Your eating looked really great! You should feel VERY good about that. Sorry work was so busy. Seems to be something in the air...

Hi Renee! Thanks for stopping by. Ladies, Renee started posting about a week or two ago. She's just starting this whole weight loss thing and is working on finding some focus for her eating and exercising. I thought you girls might be just the ticket to support her, since you're just so great yourselves!

mette: thank you so much for visiting my blog and making the very first comment! I really appreciated the note and the fact that you read it. I'm going to try to make an entry every day, so there will always be something new to read. I love writing, so I'll keep it as entertaining as possible.

Working out early was great for a couple of different reasons. I DID have more energy at work for the first few hours, but the intense day I had just drained it all away. Also, there is virtually NO ONE at my gym before 7 a.m. I had the women's section all to myself. It was great. Also, like I mentioned, it was nice to feel like I'd already accomplished something, and didn't have the gym looming over my head all day like, one more thing I have to do today. I'm going to do my best to keep it up this week and see how it works out. I have a late meeting Thursday night, so that might make for a very long day.

The way I saute my veggies is to put about a tbsp. of olive oil in a large skillet and let it warm up for just a minute (don't let it get too hot- it will burn and the oil will splatter when you add the veggies). Then just add whatever veggies, maybe onions, zucchini and yellow squash, cubed, to the oil. Stirring occassionally, let the onions begin to brown slightly. Some garlic, salt and pepper would be a nice touch too. Let me know if you try it!

Anyway, I'm going to start getting ready for bed... Yawn! Talk to you all in the morning!

Good morning all!

Jessica - good job again on getting up early to workout. I wish I could do that. How did your new bra work out? Neat blog. You are very couragous to go through this journey and to be willing to post for others to see. Everyday I take a little inspiration from you (and others here). I hope it helps you with your exploration.

mette - pronation has to do with how you put your foot down on the ground and then which way it rotates. Some rotation is necessary when walking but if you over pronate you are rotating too far towards your body. Your foot continues to rotate and you put more pressure on your arch (inside of foot) and the outside of your foot 'comes up'. It doesn't actually lift off the ground but you do put less weight on it (not evenly distributed weight over the foot). OK, describing this in words isn't as easy as I thought. Did this make sense? You should have extra support around the arch from your shoes.

Renee - you snuck in your edits. I almost missed them since I had posted after you. I think it's great that you got the New Balance shoes. I wouldn't recommend that you wear them around for everyday use though if you are going to run in them. Congratulations on the bike ride. Was it off road using a mountain bike? I love to bike and wish I made time to do it more often. What scares you about running? Maybe we can help ease your mind.

Have a great Tuesday. Ang

Good morning!

Well, I'm sorry to say, but I was so tired from yesterday I didn't get up early this morning. No work out. Since my new cardio workout is only 20 minutes, I'm thinking I can go walking/running after work. Then I don't have the drive time to the gym and I get in my exercise. There's actually a dirt track very close to my house, I just remembered I used to run there. Maybe I'll head there, since pavement isn't very forgiving. Since the weightlifting takes about 45 minutes, I will make every effort to get up tomorrow and go before work. My legs are so sore from lifting yesterday! I'm waddling around like a penguin. I'll let you all know how I do tonight.

Mette: Are you meeting with your trainer today? Did you buy your cute gym clothes? I hope it goes really well for you.

Ang: You're just as brave as I am. You're posting here, and that's probably viewed by more people than my journal! I'm glad I can help inspire you, though. You guys certainly motivate me every day. Since I only did lifting yesterday, I didn't get to fully test out the bra. But it was very comfortable and actually fit. I didn't have big red marks on my back when I got home, like I do from my others that are too small.

Renee, I have New Balance shoes, too. I really like them, although with the recent discussion about the shelf life of running shoes, I should probably look into getting a new pair. I had Nike's before these, and they just weren't the right shoes for my walking and running style. The sports bra I got was a Champion brand, I think I posted a link to it to mette earlier in our thread. When I do my cardio tonight I'll have a better idea of how effective it is.

I feel a little bad about breaking my promise to myself about getting up early, but, exhausted is exhausted, and I still need to be flexible with myself as I adjust to all these new routines in my life. I hope we all have a good day today and stay true to ourselves!

*yaaawn -stretch* Yeah, there is no way I could ever get up early to exercise or anything hehe. Hit snooze as it was, and I was even in bed early - course I had some funky weird dreams about being a chick with a sword, and then timewarped to some rave club. Odd.

So hurried out of the house, running late and still dreary-groggy. I was naughty and ran through the McDonalds drive through for a #8 (breakfast burritos) but at least passed the hashbrown off to a coworker. (They make me sick.) I -might- go skating at lunch, but if the humidity continues to climb like it is now, I doubt it. It's just so sticky/clammy out! (Hot too)

For lunch I am planning to be good and eat my sandwich, and stringcheese. Then have my fruit as my afternoon snack. I found this really great bread (if you are a picky bread person) It's BrownBerrys Carb Counting multigrain. It is soft and sweet!! Which is just great for me because I can't stand hard, bitter bread. So that, with some fat free mayo, fat free bologna and fat free cheese. Voila. A nice little pick me up.

So how come it's not a good idea to use my everyday shoes as running shoes as well? I am pretty broke after buying them and don't think I can afford to get a second pair for a while. >.< (They cost $130 - that was more than I've paid in the last two years TOTAL for shoes haha.) And as to why I am scared of running, well, I just get out of breath SO fast when I jog, that I think I will get really upset about it. I don't know if I could even jog for 60 seconds without having to stop!!

The bike ride was on a mountain bike, but not really 'off road' - it was on a gravel trail (which is at least more work than pavement) and it had a lot of squiggles, turns and elevation changes. And, well, biking around 180 lbs is a lot more work than I remember biking 130 lbs around being - hee.

I am skipping dinner at home tonight, so I am thinking that I will eat my Slimfast Mac-n-Cheese before leaving work. Then snack on something healthy later. Maybe an angel food cupcake with some berries on it.

Check in with you ladies later! And thanks again for the invite here.

Jessica - don't fall into the same trap that got you last time you got really into exercising. You can't just jump in with both feet. You also don't want to injure yourself. Take it slow and maybe have a goal of going to the gym before work 2 or 3 days a week for a couple of weeks (or forever if that's what works). I think going to the dirt track sounds like a great idea. It's good to mix things up also. Please don't feel bad about not getting up this morning. You did awesome yesterday and you'll do it again. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are only human after all.

Renee - your bike ride sounds great. I can't do the really hard mountain biking either. It's nice to get off road sometimes though. I feel safer on the road when I have to be by myself though.

The reason why I don't suggest that you wear your running shoes all the time is because they are so expensive. Depending on how much you run, you can replace the runners every 6 months (I don't remember the mileage amount but when they wear out you'll know it and will need new ones to prevent injury - just ask mette ) - at this time you can demote them to everyday shoes. If you wear them all the time they will wear out even faster and thus the need to replace them comes more quickly. You can buy almost anything (cheap) to wear everyday just around. Just my two cents though.

Last running comment for now - take it really slowly. If you don't think you can run 60 seconds then go with the routine of running 30 seconds at a time. You need to get some positive reinforcement so go beneath what you expect by a little as you begin. Do you have a routine? You can try something like this:

walk 10 minutes
run 30 seconds then walk 2 minutes (repeat 4 times)
walk 10 minutes

I'm happy to give as much or as little advice on this as you want. Just tell me to shut up if I get into it too much.

Ang

Oy. Suddenly there were *many* new posts. Sorry about that. Nice weather here and I’m on vacation and ditching the computer.

Renee – hi and welcome! Looks like you’re going to fit right in here!
As for running – I jog for about 30 minutes two mornings of the week – and I started off with mostly walking and then gradually jogged more and more. I still walk some parts of my route. I start off with a (brisk) walk to the park, and then start jogging there.
Do you have any good places to run? Ang’s plan for starting looks very good.

Ang – glad to hear you had a good eating day yesterday! And selling your squash! How great is that!
Thanks for the information about pronation – it sounds about right when you say it, it was something like that the guy in the store said too. The shoes I bought had both extra support around the arch – like you’re saying. And also more support on the inner side of the heel – when I first put the shoe on it felt a bit weird. As if the inside of the foot was build up and my foot was tilting outward a little – if that makes sense.
But I had my first jog this morning, and even if I’ll have to get used to the shoes (they still feel a bit different, but not in a bad way or anything – just different) – it was a really excellent jog! And I had absolutely no pain anywhere! The weather was nice, the park looked good, the grass was newly cut and smelled sweet, the birds were singing, etc etc. And I was just so happy that I felt good and thought about how I (hopefully) can continue jogging for a long time! Very good start on my day!

Jessica – understandable that you were tired at work after your early morning weightlifting (and getting up at 5)! And yes, it sounds really nice that the gym was empty. But was your plan to get up at 5 every day this week? In that case I totally agree with Ang: it might be better to try with just a couple of early mornings a week first, and see how it goes. Maybe early mornings for the weightlifting and doing the cardio on the afternoon, just like you’re saying. And no wonder you are sore today if you lifted weights for 45 minutes yesterday. Most impressive!
About your blog – I really liked it, and I am looking forward to continue reading it. The sautéing sounds like something I would enjoy – spicy vegetables and oil. I’ll try and let you know.

Now. What else is new? I finished up with the painting and the shelves are now dry, and I'm sorting through my books to see which I'll keep. But today I ditched the whole organizing thing and went out to enjoy the nice weather in the park instead.

But I went to the gym and met with the instructor. He was very nice. I told him what I was after and he made up a program for me for 3 times a week. I’m going to continue to lift weights Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’ll have one day with lower body, one day with upper body and one day with a combination. We talked about doing a full 3 day split, but he said that if I'm only exercising a muscle once a week – I would also have to exercise it very hard to get stronger. So maybe I'll see how this goes, and try that later.
I will do this program for 3 months, and then we’ll get together again and make a new one. It all seems very good to me.
I’m really psyched to start! Tomorrow I will do lower body. Yey!

And yes, I got some cute clothes. I’ve got a couple of trousers, one grey and one light blue (no black or marine in sight!) and a couple of sweaters and T-shirts. And everything *fit*. I bought L, because I can actually wear L – I don’t have to wear XL or XXL, which I’ve been known to buy just for the comfort!

I’ll stop now. Talk to you guys later. Have a nice Tuesday.

Hi ladies,

Just home for lunch and checking in. Yeah, I was hoping to stick to an early morning routine this week, but Ang and Mette, I think you're right. It's that all or nothing mentality that burned me out before, so I'll take it easy on myself. Still planning on going to the track tonight for my cardio. I'll have some time after work tomorrow to do my upper-body weights, so I'll go easy on the "gung-ho!" attitude of pushing myself too hard.

Mette, your meeting with your instructor sounds like it went really well! I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear about how your new work-out routine goes. The weights yesterday took about 1/2 hour, and then I did lots of stretching afterwords, since one of my goals is to work on my flexibility too. It works out to about 45 minutes. The upper body takes slightly longer for me, since there are more specific muscles to work. I really enjoy it though, so it doesn't feel like work to me. You sound like you're having such a nice vacation. Maybe I need to take some time off, just stay home and get things done that I need to do, have a little "me" time. A little relaxation sounds really good about now!

Ang, thank you for the supportive words, it really helps me put things in perspective. I think your knowledge of all-things-running will be really useful to all of us and I encourage you to give us your advice whenever you want to give it! I will probably do a combination of walking/running at the track tonight but won't push it because I get pretty winded too and I need to be careful with my knees, too.

Renee, your menu for today doesn't sound that bad. Good for you. Do you have plans after work that will keep you from eating dinner? I can also relate to loving to sleep! I'm becoming much more of a morning person, but it does take some willpower on some days to not sleep in (especially weekends). Just do what feels comfortable and work around your schedule. You're doing great.

Today has been a MUCH better day than yesterday. I'm not feeling nearly as stressed out, which is a relief. Most of our staff is back, so I've been able to focus on MY job, not worry about doing everyone else's job too. Whew! Anyway, I'll check in tonight if I have a chance.

Hi!

Jessica – this ‘gung ho!’ thing of pressing yourself too hard? It’s really one of the most difficult things for me too. See my first challenge under.
Good to hear work is better and less stressful. And I really recommend some free time at home!

I have been thinking about the gym a lot lately. About what I’m looking forward to, and what I’m dreading. There are some things about that place that I have to confront – some obstacles I will have to deal with.

The first challenge is my “all or nothing” drive – what Jessica calls “gung-ho!” attitude. According to my program I’m not going to add pounds on the weights I’m lifting for the first 4 weeks. The first 4 weeks will be my introduction period, where I’ll learn how to do the exercises properly (with good form!) and my body will adapt to this way of exercising. I’m not doing many exercises each time (5), and with 12 minutes cardio warm-up and 10 minutes ab crunches & stretching after, I’m done in maybe 45-50 minutes total.
And this sounds very reasonable, doesn’t it? Start slowly, get in to the rhythm, see how it feels - - -
But my drive when I’m at the gym? To increase weight, to increase exercises, to increase time – to spend 2 hours there and be completely exhausted when I leave.
So my first challenge is to be patient. It’s the one thing that I know works for me: slowly and surely. I know it works for me when it comes to eating and losing weight, now I have to learn that it also works for me in the gym.

The second challenge is the mirrors. *sigh* I’m frickin’ EVERYWHERE in that room! No matter where I look: there I am!
I have to get used to the mirrors. I have to get used to looking at myself in the mirror in a room full of guys and *not be embarrassed* that I’m looking at myself, and that others can see that I’m looking at myself. I have no idea why this is so embarrassing though – is it that I don’t want to appear vain? Anyway, it’s not an option at the gym not to look at myself in the mirrors – so I have to get over that one.

The third challenge is the guys lifting weights there. For some reason it’s always frightening for me to join groups of people I don’t know when I’m not welcomed with open arms, especially when I’m new to what’s being done in the group, it means that I don’t know the rules and norms, and being a newbie sucks.
This goes for the weightlifting room at the gym! They’re really not the most inviting and welcoming bunch on first sight – actually they look a bit scary, if I’m completely honest.
Now. I know that they’re probably nice guys, and that – given time – I’ll get to know some of them, get help if I ask and have people there to talk with too.
It’s just that I have to get through the first period of social anxiety and ineptness first! So that’s my third challenge of going to the gym.

I actually feel much better about all three now that I’ve written them down!

So, how are you doing today?

Mette,

That was a really great post; thank you so much for sharing your fears about the gym. I think we've all experienced/are going through similar feelings of insecurity not only at the gym, but in all areas of this process. In fact, when I first started buying healthy food at the grocery store, I had this feeling that the clerk would think I was a poor fat girl probably trying to lose weight AGAIN and would feel sorry for me when she rang up my groceries. How silly is that? Now, I'm proud of the fact that most of the clerks have to look up my produce in a book, because I buy veggies that most people don't buy and they don't know what/how much they are. It's a matter of getting comfortable with yourself, knowing without a doubt that what you're doing is what you planned to do and you're doing everything properly, and focusing on and gaining strength from that.

As far as being intimidated by the guys. I'm still going through that now, which is why I quarentine myself in the women's only section. But you know what? I think as part of my Pact with you, I will branch out into the main gym the next time I lift weights. They have better equipment and more room to work in, so why should I deprive myself out of fear or embarrasment?

To be honest, I know that the "big guys" out there may be intimidating, but there are several issues that might ease your fears: 1) Most of them REALLY are so self-absorbed, they really won't pay much attention to you; 2) Form is everything, like Krista says. If you go in there and use proper form and have a plan for your routine, you will earn their respect and they will be more impressed by you than critical. You may even get some compliments! 3) You will eventually become "the cool girl" when you become a regular and start showing progress. Again, you will not only respect yourself for the progress you've made, I think you'll make some lifting buddies, too.

How do we get out of the trap of killing ourselves at the gym? You and I are very similar in that way- 110% or nothing. There has to be a "happy medium" somewhere, where we push ourselves just past the level of comfort but don't work so hard it either becomes an unpleasant experience or we end up injured. Did your trainer have a reason for having you not increase your weight for 4 weeks? Is it to focus on your form? I guess that does make sense, since that's so important. Let me know if you come up with some good "scripts" to tell yourself while you're working out to keep yourself from going overboard. I'm still struggling with that. At least you have a solid routine to work with. Pretend that routine is like a prescription from your doctor that has to be followed to a "T"; maybe that will keep you focused.

And the mirrors. Yes, those are unavoidable, aren't they??! I think we've been conditioned, as women and being overweight, to not be vain, and to disdain our own image. Perhaps as you start out, you can think about it in more scientific terms, that you must be able to see your "form" to make sure you are performing the exercises right so you don't hurt yourself, not actually looking at you. It sounds silly, but as you start losing weight and gaining muscle, I promise, you will LOVE watching those muscles flex and seeing how far you've come!

Just know that through it all, we'll be here to support you and give advice when you need it. You are making so much progress, and exploring all of these feelings will give you even more of a edge in the gym. I know you'll do great!

With that said, I opted to do my grocery shopping last night instead of going to the track. Mike had to leave for work at 11 p.m. last night and won't be back until Friday night/Saturday morning, so I wanted to spend some time with him. And I noticed my eating the last two days was less than perfect, since I've been out of certain things I needed for my menu. I hate to keep saying I'm going to do something and then not do it, but I'm still trying to adjust and use my time the best way I can. My intention is to do some form of exercise tonight, but I want to just DO IT today instead of talk about it. I'll let you know if I make it.

I have to get ready for work, so I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks again for your post, Mette, and I hope I helped a little.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Hi Everyone.

Renee - how did everything go last night? Were you able to stick with your eating plan?

Jessica - Were you able to get to the track? A combination of running and walking is the way to do, especially at the beginning. When/if you ready you can keep track of how much time you do each and slowly try to increase the running. Bottomline - if it works for you then go for it!

I am glad that work was not as stressful yesterday and you could concentrate on the things you needed to do. Do you have any vacation time coming? I really want to take some time to relax but can't while I am running my experiment. The summer doesn't have enough holidays. Maybe we should make our own.

mette - It sounds likeyou are really enjoying your vacation and that is great. You deserved to enjoy the outdoors yesterday, particularly after completing a big house project. Were you able to part with many books?

I am glad the shoes helped relieve your pain and that you had such a great run. It sounds wonderful. I went to my track workout last night but only ran about 2 miles max. There were a lot of reason why it was such a bad day for me, but one of the two main problems was that I was in a bad place mentally and when I started to run I was flooded with emotion and just had to stop. I don't think I'll get in any exercise today , except maybe some work at the garden. next run will be tomorrow and hopefully my head will be in the right place. My eating was ok yesterday though.

Breakfast: cereal
Snack: peanuts
Lunch: 2 slices bread (Arnold's Health Nut), 2 ounces chicken breast sliced, 2 slice lf swiss cheese, 10 mini carrots, banana
Snack: protein bar (these things really do help - I am going to have to buy more - I just wish they weren't that expensive)
Dinner: Salad (lettuce, dried cranberries, gorgonzola cheese, 2 slices turkey breast, sliced almonds, ff vinegrette dressing)
*I think that was all for dinner but my memory stinks so who knows )
Dessert (after running at friends): variety of berries with lite whipped cream and one reduced fat oreo

Tonight I am having Chinese out with bf's mother (don't ask) so I will try to make a reasonable choice because I know Chinese is not the best food when bought out - so much sodium too.


mette - I am so excited for regarding your new workout routine at the gym. Your attitude seems great. I am envious and have it written down to find out the details of joining my gym. I think talking with the instructor was a great idea. It must be nice to know you are doing things right and following a plan that was made just for you. Remember that your instructor knows more than you and that this plan will be best for you - so don't increase anything too fast. I can't wait to hear how the actual workout goes. I also think identifying your challenges was great. I think I would have some of the same issues but can only hope that given a little time to just get used to the situation you will not have to worry about them anymore. My guess is that as you focus on the actual workout you will not have the time to worry about others in the room. Let us know how it goes.

Wow - I have procrastinated way too much and have to get some work done. I don't like not being accountable to anyone at work. My bad moods have made me waste too much time at work and things are suffering. I can't seem to help it though and force myself to get working more - focus is a little problem right now. Hopefully things will get better very soon or I am going to be in real trouble.

I hope everyone is enjoying hump day. Bye for now. Jessica - you snuck in before me - I think we were typing at the same time.

Ang

Morning ladies!

Man, what a bad week this has been for me, and I was so excited and motivated on Sat. after seeing some weight loss. *sigh*

Yesterdays meal plan was flushed down the drain by noon. I had Culvers for lunch (hot dog and cheese curds) - then I had Ramen noodles and potato chips for dinner. Blah. I am starting to get sick again, head cold like symptoms, but I am sure it is coming from the exhaustion that my work stress is causing me. I am so frustrated, and it's going to be like this all month! My Sales Rep. is out this week, then my co-account helper is out next week. Then my Sales Rep is out for the rest of the month. My head is so full of stress at night that I can't even sleep.

Mette- With the gung ho, I do the same thing. I feel good about it for like, a few hours, then the pain comes in. I tried this Bootcamp class once.. (Because the guy at the gym singled me out and asked me to join and played upon my poor low self esteem and made me feel all special! Haha) I was sore, literally, for four days and unable to lift my arms or move in any fashion of grace. Work into it slow and savor that you are still working!!


Shyangel- The shoe problem is that I was getting a lot of pain in my heels. I can't just wear everyday cheap shoes because I get sore feet. I really should have my whole foot looked at by a podiatrist, but HMO insurances are just a pain to manuever around with. So I had bought them -for- every day shoes, to help decrease my heel pain, and they have! Yaya. I suppose if I want to wear them every day and run in them, it will just mean buying replacements more often. I guess that will work. Or have to work anyway.

Tonight is a double header for softball, it's our last week. I am so tired though and just want to go bury my head in a hole until Sept. With the stress from work, I have fallen hard off the motivation wagon, and don't really care if I get dragged from behind it. I had Burritoes for breakfast again, but now I feel really sick and don't want to eat anything else at all today. >.< I want this month to be over!!

Jessica - since we all focus on the negative at times, it may seem like you are not following through but I think you have done a lot of things. try to acknowledge the accomplishments. Going grocery shopping is important also, especially when it affects how you eat, which is so important. I know that when I don't have anything in the house I eat even worse than usual. I hope you have a chance to exercise tonight but go easy on yourself; today is another day and tomorrow is past so you can't do anything about it.

Renee - what's happening that is causing the problems this week? Is it just work stress (not meaning to belittle the significance of work stress btw)? Have you been able to exercise at all? I'm sorry you are so tired but glad you have softball tonight. Sometimes doing something activity that is fun is just what you need to actually get more energized. ALso, some light exercise (even walking) might help you relax and take your mind off work. Do the best you can with eating, but if you are just too stressed don't add more stress by feeling bad about what you are eating. Just do the best you can. Maybe try to make a tiny (very tiny) goal for yourself each day (e.g. walk 10 minutes or make one healthy food choice) so you can accomplish something and feel positive. This might help with the motivation. Hang in there. We are all here for you.

Now that I have all the info I realize why you are wearing your shoes all the time. I guess for now quicker replacements may be the only way to go. You still may be able to use the shoes longer during the day but not for running as they start to wear out. You'll just have to wait and see when that happens. At least the new ones are helping with your pain (yea!) AND you are all set to start running.

I'm off to lunch - sandwich, banana, carrots - I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe that's because I forgot to eat my peanuts and now I am really hungry. Oops.

Ang

I was thinking about you guys when I walked home from the gym today: about how motivating it is to have you guys to talk to, report to, get feedback and support from, somebody to cheer for and be cheered on by! This place is the framework of keeping me motivated. No doubt about that. Thanks guys!

Jessica – I know! About the food store and buying healthy food! I did that too!
I’m glad we’re both over that phase!
I think you should go in to the proper weightroom where the really good equipment is too! Because you know the only way we’re ever going to get through our fear and embarrassment, right? The only way lifting weights in that room is ever going to feel good is by lifting weights in that room! Nothing else will do it. Heh.

Thank you for your comments, you do help a lot – you all do – all the time. I’m sure once I’ve been at the gym a couple of times, know how to use the equipment (don’t do stupid mistakes and make everybody laugh at me!), it'll be better.
I think all 3 of you are correct – and that the way to slow down myself is what Jessica said: follow the plan precisely and accurately for the next 4 weeks.
Ang – I think talking to an instructor at the gym was the smartest thing I could do too. I think it increases my chances of staying with the program immensely if I start slow.
Heh. And the part about me going to love watching my muscles flex in the mirrors? Yeah. Well, Jessica, I’m just going to take your word for it!

And Jessica – hope you get done some exercise today. But even if you don’t: it’s still not the end of the world. Even if you say that you’ll do something and then don’t – it’s still helping because you’re making plans. When you keep thinking up possible ways you can exercise, keep thinking up alternatives and variations – it will make it easier for you to make good choices in your hectic life. Because there are options, and on some days you’ll choose them. And I think you chose right when you chose to spend some quality time with Mike!

Ang – sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Sometimes the running will get you through bad emotions, burn them up – but I have also experienced what you’re talking about: that the emotions flood you and you can’t run. Again: working in the garden counts as exercise!
And how great that your eating was good even with a really bad emotional day!

You’re having dinner with your BF’s mother? (Oh. You didn’t really think we wouldn’t ask about that, did you? )Wow?
I get this flash of one of the episodes of Sex in the City where Samantha gets together with a man, and the relationship with the guy isn’t all that – but she has a great relationship with his mother! And delay breaking up with him because she likes his mother and gets along great with her.

Renee – another one with a really stressful job! I’m sorry it’s messing with your motivation, but it really is true: when you’re tired and stressed out, there is no fun to be had anywhere. What are you doing as a basic food plan? Are you following a specific program or your own?
I’m on a 1500 calories plan, I started out just counting calories and trying to eat enough vegetables – but along the way I have been looking more and more at getting more proteins too. I don’t eat meat, so originally I ate very little protein – but I’m trying to increase it, so that I can get stronger and leaner as I continue to lift weights!

And I had my first day at the gym today. Lower body today.

And, yes Jessica, the instructor had specific reasons for starting slow and not increasing weights for the first 4 weeks – just the reasons you mention: get the form right, learn the exercises properly, learn the equipment, and get my body used to working out this way.

I did squats (8x3, 45lbs (just the bar)), leg press (12x3, 90lbs), and leg curls (10x3, 65lbs). I also did shoulders.
I’m bubbling with excitement – because I actually did *squats*! You know, that’s like real weightlifting! (Oh.God.I’m such a dork.)(heh). I did get a kick out of it! And I think that’s something else about the gung-ho attitude and burnout speed – I get really, really excited at first and want to do it *all the time*. I think that’s part of it too.

So steadying myself. But still. I did squats with a really heavy bar! So yes. I had a really good day.

Jessica – enjoy your evening no matter what you do. Ang – enjoy your dinner! Renee – enjoy your softball and hope you get some rest and sleep too.
Talk to you guys later.

Hey all. Ugh, what a week. I'll try to be brief in explanation on the work issues. I handle the top salesmans accounts. This salesman is also owner and president of the company, and accounts for about 70% of the company's income. He is on vacation this week. He left a sizable amount of large, high profile accounts open ended with projects he started, but never finished, - and he never even warned me about them. I've had to start from scratch with customers who are impatient and intolerant of the fact the salesman didn't give me the info. To top it off, he (slmn) just isn't very good at this whole communication/organization stuff. He left me no paperwork to find on this stuff. So... he is gone for a week. Next week, he is back, but the woman who does the other half of his accounts (who is just as bad as far as filing things and being organized) goes out of town for a week. She returns, and then the salesman leaves for another 1.5 weeks. I don't know how I will make it!

Yesterday, I didn't do to bad actually, er scratch that. It was the last week of the softball season - so we had more than a few beers. Besides that I had, burritoes for breakfast, and subway for lunch. Forgot dinner! Oops.

Grr, work is being too busy for me to get through this quick post. I have no appetite for lunch today, bleh, so am going to go check out a new cellphone and then maybe eat a sandwich later. I woke up a bit early today, and think I might be able to fit in a 20 minute walk in the mornings if I really tried.

Check in more later.