I have just read all the posts on the March thread.

Lisa, I am so sorry. Losing your mother is one of life's greatest sorrows, and an unexpected death is always a shock. My mother was combing her hair to go out to lunch when she had a stroke; that lead to a series of strokes and she passed away five days later - a total shock.

Kathleen, I am praying for both you and your son and hoping things are better soon.

Holly, it seems like just a few weeks ago that you went back to the miserable job. We really can't complain about this winter, even with a Northeaster in the forecast for this weekend. But, I think I still have PTSD from last winter. All I wanted this winter was for it to be over. Even on the nicest days, my best weather thought was One Day Closer to Spring!!!

Fi, I must admit I agree with your post about the thread. Quite frankly, I lost interest in it when you and Kathleen were too sick to post and Holly and Lisa were busy with work. I thought new members added to the group, but then most just posted a few times, and then we never heard from them.

Fi, I cannot imagine all you have been through. I admire how you can continue, making collages, doing your exercises with Mike, driving again, etc. You have come a long way in your weight loss and with your healthy choices. I remember when you could not go by certain stores - you had to stop for cookies.
I swim almost every day, and I find that if I have to miss more than three days in a row, I am sore and stiff - hopefully, that is what happened to make your pain so unbearable, and it will hopefully improve or at least go back to its daily (also horrible) level.

When I am depressed, it is similar to what you described - up and down many times each day. I have been on an even keel for the most part since January.

My eating has been out of control again - chocolate and ice cream!!!

I still miss Li'l Turtle and hope she is okay.

Greetings and well-wishes to everyone else. I am going to read and post more frequently, like I did previously.

Lisa— So sorry to hear about your mom's passing...it all happened so quickly, I suspect it will be quite some time before you are able to process all the emotions from the sequence of events. As much as you can, spend time only with yourself and with those who care about you and know what happened with your mom. Sometimes just silent time is best, when you are with loved ones; other times, it will help to talk about your mom's life. Whenever you are alone and your emotions are bubbling up in words, you can always talk on this thread about what you're thinking & feeling. This group is where we can talk about absolutely anything: please know that. I'll be holding you in my thoughts.

EasySpirit— I'm so glad to see you here! I'm still going through a rough time, between my legs hurting almost constantly and my mood so frequently crashing. I'm sure my moods are closely wrapped up with the pain, and vice versa. Yesterday I was able to do all my physical leg exercises—leg raises, pumping my quads while lying on my back, butt crunches, and stretching. I ended up skipping a day of my Qi Gong (energetic) exercise, though. I know I'm not supposed to skip a single day, but some days I just can't summon the intense concentration it takes to manipulate chi (energy) within my body. Sorry to hear you've been having lapses in your diet: remember that every morning you start with a clean slate—no guilt! I usually weigh myself the 22nd of every month, and that will be Tuesday. I'm not looking forward to it, because I ate sweets several times in January & February, and I feel heavier. I admire you so much for your swimming! I wish I could do that myself, and perhaps soon I'll be able to, but I haven't had the heart yet to call my pool about wheelchair access. By the way, I miss Trish (Li'l Turtle), too. I hope she is still appreciating the scale she got from that "angel."

All my best wishes to everyone else!

I made a couple of new collage postcards for a swap on swapbot.com: "flower remedies 1 & 2".

Lisa: I just logged on for the first time in several days and I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your mom's passing. 😢 You must be devastated. Please take all the time you need and know that we are all here for you and sending our love and hugs! ❤ I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers in the days ahead. Please take good care of yourself during this difficult time. I am sending you a big hug!!! ❤ So wish you didn't have to go through this! Hang in there!

I don't have much energy to respond to individual posts tonight and I will be away for awhile. I have my final reconstruction surgery (after breast cancer), along with a lymphedema bypass and other clean-up work from my previous surgeries this Tuesday, the 22nd. It is a 9 hour surgery beginning at 7am. I dread the surgery and recovery, but I will be glad to get it all behind me soon. I will try to check back in ASAP, but I will probably be out of commission for at least 2 weeks. Hope everyone continues the support of one another in my absence. I will be thinking of all of you and wishing you well. 😊

Thank you all, so much for your well wishes.

Today is mom's service. I am dressed all ready.


Not much else to say. Will post again tonight.

Lisa, thinking of you today.

Kathleen, I hope that your operation goes well and your recovery is a quick one.

Kathleen, best of luck tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

Lisa, good luck to you, too - it isn't easy.

Holly, nice to hear from you!

Fi, I love your latest collages - very interesting story about the tulips, too.

Take care everyone.

Hello, I have today off, so time to check in.

Lisa, been thinking of you..was your Mom's service near you? I know you mentioned a sister, do you have other siblings to mourn with? were you comforted at the service by people who knew your Mom? I wish you all support and love.

Kathleen, been thinking of you since yesterday, HOPING the surgery went smoothly and that you are recuperating and not in pain and in the best spirits possible a sun for you

Fi glad you are able to still do your art!

EasySpirit did the Nor'easter hit you? we got NOTHING from it, it seems Vermont is off the map snow-wise this year. I hope Spring arrives for you soon!

Coop hi how are you doing?

I can't even complete ONE day on a 'diet'. My hunger and/or emotions just take over and its like I don't have one speck of self-control anymore on that end. I do my workouts, though they are not the sweaty heartpounding like before, much lower impact but still trying to build strength for every day fitness.

I do finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, less than 3 weeks left at the Rat B@stard's store, then 3 weeks off!! then the good summer job, and hopefully warm weather and my motorcycle soon!!

About being able to visit here consistently, my own opinion is that we just do the best we can the very nature of our disposition means that we just can or cannot do it some days, and I feel worse if I think I'm letting someone down. However I should keep in mind that we ARE the Ups and Downers and should visit even when down. I'll try harder

New collage: a victorian boy, growing up. (As usual, click on image for a larger version.)

I would like to participate in this group, though I am newly returned to this forum, and I don't 'know' anyone here. I struggle with depression and anxiety, and would love to have a place to talk about that...and other things...with people who can relate. That said, I know it's sometimes 'weird' for someone new to join in, so I will put this much out there, wait a bit for input, and see what y'all think about newbies. If it's better to participate other places on the forum first, for example, just let me know. I'll likely check back tonight.

catinhat, ! and hello, of course you are welcome here it might feel weird to open up to total strangers or you can view it as extremely freeing.

Our Kathleen named this the Ups and Downs support thread because we do want our friends here to visit whether you are having good times or bad.

you can tell us as little or as much as you want, as long as it helps you.

You can read back a little to find out about the individuals here or just pick it up as you go

I can go from feeling pretty bad to pretty good really quickly, or it can happen slowly. Sometimes I can rouse myself by forcing myself to do something when all I want to do is sleep, sometimes not. I am thankful that I haven't had suicidal thoughts in years, though in the winter I really don't look forward to anything except coming home from work, eating, watch a movie, then bed. but once Spring comes, I'm a different person.

Holly, yes my Mom's service was pretty close, it was only about a 15 minute drive.

I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. We were all gathered around Mom's bed as they took off her ventilator. It was so emotional, we were all crying. Mom hung on for close to 3 hours before she took her last breath. I never left her side. I stroked her forehead non-stop and talked to her. I'm not sure if she heard any of us talking to her or not? She was extraordinarily weak and on pain and anxiety meds. We all made it clear to the Dr that we wanted mom comfortable as she was going through the process of passing. It was so important to me and my siblings that she was not in pain and that she was not scared.

Looking back, I don't know how I made it through that night. It was so incredibly painful.

I'm so glad you posted. I miss you when you don't, Holly.

catinhat, welcome to the thread. It's so nice to have you here.


Hi everyone, I wanted to pop in and say hi. I'm really tired tonight. I'll try to post again tomorrow. Have a great night.