I hear you. Yes you can reconfigure if and when you need to and i do find that one's diet evolves as you go along. I always do that too. My food quality although i thought it started off pretty good, has improved enormously since then. And now i'm really enjoying cooking which at the beginning i was just doing whatever was quick and easy.

I hope you don't mind but i want to reply to a few things you said just for clarification. I don't ask or expect you to suddenly change your approach and do what i do. I just want to say this because i think if you can understand this about binging too, it will also help now and in the long run.

first it sounds like you are doing the Intuitive Eating approach effectively. I think the IE approach is about not restricting, but restricting means, cutting calories basically. I wasn't suggesting you cut calories, only avoid certain foods. There are two types of restricting, one i call avoiding or even eliminating, the other restricting. Just to try to make that clearer. So my suggestion to you wasn't to reduce calories at this point. In fact i strongly advise when starting out, if you have trouble with controlling cravings and what you eat is not the best sorts of food, then eating normal amounts is a good way to go. However, in the long term, i think you will want to restrict calories too if you decide you want to weigh less. I don't think you can get to a skinny weight by IE. I say that because i note the author of the book, the don't go hungry diet, hasn't go that skinny even though she lost a lot of weight and has kept it off for a long time.

So i was only suggesting avoiding certain types of foods. I know that for most IE eaters and even also in the The Don't Go Hungry Diet, she advocates eating whatever you want and not avoiding. I guess avoidance is a very personal choice. But i find it really really helpful. I find it easier to avoid than to stop myself eating more even though i've physically eaten enough food.

Reasons why you may want to binge with anxiety is the anxiety itself. To stop the cravings when you are suffering from anxiety, you probably need to address the anxiety as well as follow those foods rules. This time, on my diet, there was one period when i wanted to binge. But interestingly, i don't think i was craving ice-cream or chocolate or anything particular, just food. and i think that is because i had stopped eating sweet foods. I just wanted food. But i told myself i can binge on carrots even though i didn't find the idea appealing at all. And if i could have a glass of wine, then i could go to sleep and it would be all right. In fact, after i'd spoken to a phone councillor and broke open of my father's bottles of wine for a glass i was ok and able to go to sleep. I had had a whole big carrot prior to that and it wasn't working. I was tired but couldn't sleep and wanted to go to sleep. I sometimes find i get hungry late at night if i'm up and so i try to go to bed earlier. But i was having stress and it all came together to make me want to eat even though i didn't need food.

so anyway, address your anxiety when it comes up. Try to understand what's triggering it and find someone, a counsellor preferably to talk it all through with as soon as you can. I find that with doing this, i can get on top of it quite quickly.

In the last month i've been procrastinating about my work. And i knew that if i didn't resolve it, i would see my little business that i do want to succeed go down the toilet really quickly and i would get depressed and have more money problems and so on, not to mention some humiliation because everyone i know knows what i'm doing. Finally after a month, i made an appt to see my psychologist who i saw last year. I had such a great session the day before yesterday and came up with a solution on the drive home and found i could get back to work straight away. Because i hadn't been working well with my business, when i did go to the markets, i wasn't organised and this caused me anxiety and i felt like i was failing all the time. And i forgot to take my bags to the market. I would feel like a failure if someone tried a dress on and it didn't fit or they didn't like it. And i just felt really off. I never get panic attacks but my confidence when talking to real people I don't know well, goes down the tube. I was spending more and more time messing about on the computer and not even thinking about my work. So my computer addiction was in full swing and that makes me feel bad too. I could see where this was all heading and decided to take action. In the end, my solution was to go up to my workroom by a certain time and stay there until 4pm. Instead of coming back for lunch or coffee breaks as i used to do, when i would get on the computer, i would take my lunch and coffee to the workroom and take all my breaks up there. Basically stay away from the building with the computer in it. But it was a bit of a process to come to that decision. My psychologist pointed out that what i already knew about myself that i'm an all or nothing person. And so after i went to check out my other option to cure me of my computer addiction which was to look into finding a work space in town for which i'd have to pay about $150 - $200 each week. When i realised how stupid it would be to pay that much when i had a perfectly perfect workspace at home for nothing, it became clear that i had find an alternative. And that's when i decided to ban myself to the workroom for most of the day . I bet you didn't want to know all that. Anyway my point is that talking to some one really helps shift things along.

But when you have these mood issues going on, your appetite for carbs increases and if you are prone to binging, you will want to do that more too. So part of my diet has been to address mental health issues as fast as possible. I know it seems dumb that i just said that, given it took me a month to decide to see the psychologist but i guess that was as fast as possible for me. However, i would say that where i am up to at the moment with my diet, i've been so firm on what i'm eating for over four months, and i've worked really hard on my resolve to avoid certain foods and am feeling very committed to the way i've chosen to eat that i am not going to let my mental health issues cause me to fail. I will find someone to talk to and find solutions to my problems rather than go back to past situations like being overweight. In the past i've tried moderation and was unable to make it work.

So that's my story. And now i will let you get on with it as you see fit. Best wishes.

YES. I find if it's something I think of as, well I can eat it whenever, no big deal, I can really start to shrug it off and walk away. And I do find that I want it less and less. I've lost weight without dieting or counting before and at that time nothing was forbidden. The times I've usually been driven to obsession and binging is in response to a restrictive plan.

And thank you Pinkhippie! I feel really good, too, which is the best part. I really feel like I can do this! The book suggestion sounds good to since I am moving away from restrictive plans.

Thanks for the continued thoughts Pattience. Your feedback is giving me great food for thought.

YES. I have never been able to make IE work for me, and I have tried. The problem may in part be that I am so conscientious of calorie counts that I almost can't help but track roughly what I am eating. But whenever I've done IE the result has always been a gain. I can't remember who said it but someone here talked about how they would intuitively eat an entire box of cookies and whatever. LOL. That is me. It's supposed to be based on hunger cues and what not but I've read the books (Intuitive Eating, and Geneen's) and I always think the part about letting go and eating whatever...well, I don't foresee myself ever getting sick of all cookies and candies, I would just rotate to a new junky treat. Maybe that isn't quite the take away I should be getting from the plan, but truly I must have some structure in order to lose.

Anyway there's more I'd like to add but I need to run. Busy day

OMG so this is not really binge related but it is body image/weight related so I have to write about this thing that just happened. I went to the mall because I had a break between classes, was bored, whatever, and as I was nearing an "intersection"/corner I saw an ex-BF (not the recent one, but one I dated two years ago while recent one and I were on a break). I ABSOLTELY hate running into people I know since I've gained weight especially, but an ex-BF of all things! Luckily, I do not think he saw me since I was able to kind of duck over behind a jewelry store sign and acted like I was checking out the window LOL. Yikes...when I dated him I was 155 at most. So 30 some pounds ago. I just die at the thought of running into exes when I feel so awful about myself, I mean I was just thinking earlier how much I looked like a bowling ball when I saw my reflection. I sometimes think I'm skinnier than I really am sadly, but when I see myself unexpectedly I kind of freak. I try to tell myself that while I am a work in progress, I am perfectly fine as I am anyways, and I NEED to go easier on myself. But that is a work in progress as well I guess! Well, whew, at least I narrowly dodged that bullet!!! Back to class now!

Still no binges the last couple of days. My plan has been going great. I'm really happy about this since there was a lot of stress about today (2 tests, and a presentation- I have complete anxiety about public speaking). I feel so relieved and relaxed. Even a little bored but the good news for me is I am not even slightly tempted to reach for candy or junk. I feel like I am in the game mode and hope to stay there!

I am thinking about weighing myself. I'm not quite ready yet though. I'm afraid of that 180 mark, I really, really want to be underneath it and if I'm not I fear it will drive me to binge. So I am waiting until I can tell for certain I am in the 170s. This morning my waist looked quite thin - that is where I notice weight loss first, typically. Like I said I still thought I looked quite large when I caught my reflection in a glass door but I know these changes take time and patience. And the not binging, oh my Goodness. I am beyond thrilled I have been able to remain binge free for two weeks now. (The day at my mom's was not a true binge for my standards.) If I do of course I will report it here, but I remain confident that it won't be happening anytime soon since I am on such a roll! It feels good to be free! So whenever I feel bad about my appearance, I quickly remind myself of that huge hurdle I am crossing- and well

This story totally reminded me of shortly after I had my first child and I saw my ex bf in Old Navy. ( I was there to shop for bigger clothes with my husband) I was about 30 pounds heavier and ironically this was the ex bf that I pretty much spiraled into eating disorder terribleness for the most out of ALL the ex bf's. He liked super skinny girls and I was madly in love with him. Anyway, I tried to hide behind clothing racks but he FOUND me ! AUghh! He was there with his girlfriend and he came and talked to me for a while. The encounter wasn't bad but I was totally self conscious about that extra weight.

LOL! I loved this I mean I feel awful for how you felt in the moment but the way you wrote it was just hilarious! It seems like somehow the last person you want to see always manages to find you (even in clothing racks, hehe) so that's why I was so ridiculous from this close encounter. Reading your account made me think, yeah it probably wouldn't have been a huge horrible deal for him to see me (and maybe he did), he wasn't some great love, we only dated 2 months. But he was super into fitness and stuff too. Running into exes while grubby or frumpy is really my personal worse case scenario for these kinds of things, an irrational fear. Plus that feeling of being at your worst just sucks all around! But kudos for you, for handling it so well and sharing it, you made me chuckle which was needed (GREAT job on your weight loss as well! I hope I can do as well as you.)

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Tonight was so rough. Not eating wise at least, but I had kind of an anxiety attack-ish thing that sent me flying over to my mom's (aka my BFF at the moment...I think I may be driving her crazy but she's so cool). Once again I faced down a table of treats, and once again the chips came out! Aggghhh seriously I do love my family but this is such a trigger. Luckily tonight I wasn't in the mood to snack. I find this quite strange that several triggers of mine aligned and yet I had no binge urges. That makes me feel better in and of itself; Plus after a few hours with family I felt my anxiety dissipate considerably. I like that while it was uncomfortable I made myself work through and just feel the anxious feelings without turning to food or other crutches (besides social support).

I wonder if removing my diet restrictions is what is helping me be more consistent with eating patterns. I think the meal structure and plan helps too. I have my three times per day I eat, occasionally I might grab a small thing at a random time (or to eat with meds) but overall my body apparently has accepted three set meals daily. The last time I felt real crave-y was last weekend.

I also feel like I am getting results. There aren't huge noticeable changes yet, besides my waist slimming down slightly, and my chin no longer doubles up when I look down. Then there were those jeans. A great week for those (small yet great-feeling) NSV!

I wouldn't have believed I would get tired of the cookies and candies but I did. IE is a process. People think because you start eating the foods that you restricted then you will continue to eat like that until you gain 100 lbs. Some people gain weight with IE at first because it's not a weight loss regime. It's an inside-out process for repairing your relationship with food. You would be surprised how quickly foods lose their allure once you allow yourself to have them- the caveat is you can't half a$$ it. You have to give yourself complete 100% permission to eat whatever you want. It's scary and it feels like free-falling at first. Even now after several months I still struggle with the pull to restrict. I think it's worth it though, and I used to think of myself as the worst of the worst sort of food/carb/sugar/junk addict.

Im glad I could give you a needed chuckle. It was pretty funny now that I think back on it. Thanks for the congrats on the weight loss. I have just been getting in touch with my body again and it has made an amazing difference. It doesn't feel like "diet" work, but it does feel like work in that I have really been working on my issues with emotional eating. I have read so many books and done so many exercises and of course being aware all the time is work too. It's learning a whole new way to think. But, it really is worth it. It sounds like you are doing great with realizing that restriction leads to bingeing and being able to be more comfortable around food, even during binge triggers.

Absolutely 100% agree with this. This has been my experience as well. And yep you have to give yourself 100% permission and that is scary. It's definitely worth it and I used to think of myself the same way Locke describes. Now I throw away old birthday cake because I only had a couple pieces and then didn't want any more. Instead of stealthily eating practically the whole cake in a period of a few days.

Im glad I could give you a needed chuckle. It was pretty funny now that I think back on it. Thanks for the congrats on the weight loss. I have just been getting in touch with my body again and it has made an amazing difference. It doesn't feel like "diet" work, but it does feel like work in that I have really been working on my issues with emotional eating. I have read so many books and done so many exercises and of course being aware all the time is work too. It's learning a whole new way to think. But, it really is worth it. It sounds like you are doing great with realizing that restriction leads to bingeing and being able to be more comfortable around food, even during binge triggers.

Absolutely 100% agree with this. This has been my experience as well. And yep you have to give yourself 100% permission and that is scary. It's definitely worth it and I used to think of myself the same way Locke describes. Now I throw away old birthday cake because I only had a couple pieces and then didn't want any more. Instead of stealthily, guiltily eating practically the whole cake in a period of a few days. (while standing at the counter of course)

This is interesting to me. At one point I considered myself a junk addict and I would binge on the stuff. I never felt guilty about eating it because I wasn't in a "diet" mind frame. I ate whatever and however much I wanted to. It went on for months and months and months, until I looked up and was 80 lbs heavier. I think IE can get a bit tricky if you have an addiction. It's like telling an alcoholic to intuitively drink lol. That's really not gonna happen. Some restriction must take place until the mind/body can be healed, balance is restored, and then you can move forward from there. It may be easier for some folks to handle, but it can be an open door to disaster for others.

Congratulations on not getting bingy at your mums. And i am glad you went there to relieve your anxiety. I also find being with supportive people eases anxiety. Only for me, its with a counsellor. But of course i don't feel anxious around my family or friends anyway.

The meal times schedule sounds like its working really well for you. It works really well for me too.

Great weekend! I had so much fun and feel really happy. And my eating was...(drumroll...LOL) GREAT. No binging or urges. I keep writing about it, but typing it feels so good, although not nearly as good as the reality! I actually get jittery when I think about how long it's been since I last had a binge and how calm I feel about food. (It has been nearly three weeks, which is amazing for me, especially since I am not even tempted.) M Day was awesome too. I went shopping yesterday all around but didn't buy much so feeling good about that restraint too !

This is interesting to me since as I mentioned I tried IE and while I really tried to let myself go, and even in the moment thought I had, I think at the back of my mind I didn't - because I was afraid. I don't think I was mentally or emotionally ready for- and I don't know that I am today, even. See whenever I've done it I've eaten things like cupcakes by the box, cookies after that, then since I'd intuitively want Arby's I'd run there too! I'd think, it's cool since I don't have to care. Yet a tiny voice in the mind always reminding me, This is not healthy, how many calories am I eating, etc. It didn't feel half-assed exactly (LOL) but more like I didn't trust myself or the process enough to just completely let go.

Whereas now I feel "safer" because I have my own guards in place. The structure feels good to me, since I (a notoriously indecisive person to begin with) never have to consider what's for two meals; there're always the same, convenient and right there for me. The other one (sometimes lunch, usually supper) is the place where I can relax my guard a bit. Absent a crystal ball, I don't know how it will work in the long run. But if the first three weeks are any indication, I'm golden. I feel really, really positive about myself for the first time in a LOOOONG time

Yes, this is kind of my thoughts too! I don't know if I have an "addiction" per se, but the out-of-controllness that goes along with the binging. It's like you give yourself an inch and you take the whole mile. I have to walk a very careful balance between a having safeguards in place and enough freedom to enjoy life.

Thanks Pinkhippie and Pattience

And..thanks to all for sharing your thoughts! You guys are just awesome (and every one of you is an inspiration - wow you guys are on a roll). It really helps for me to put this all out here and the feedback is a much appreciated cherry on top

Just noticed- Ohmygawd, all the smiley faces in my last post...hehe. But I guess that pretty much reflects how I feel at the moment!!

Its you who's on a roll dear and you are doing great. Your words in quotes are exactly how it is with me. Except that now i'm can stop that too because of my rules. I"m just saying that because down the track, it won't be quite as smooth as it is now. And while you are feeling golden now, there will come times when the you will feel pelted with troubles and the binge or cravings will come back.

the main occasions that will trigger these feelings i've found are:

1. ongoing stress due to difficult tasks/projects- get counselling if you are really stuck, but otherwise keep plugging on and talk to people who might be able to help you with the task.

2. big disappointments or insults against your self-esteem - keep eating your meals and eat well. Eat a bit more than usual. And find support from family and friends. Talk about it with them. Get hugs and cuddles.

3. when you get skinny or have lost weight too fast - this is when you need to eat more and eat until you are satisfied but eat healthy and in my view, avoid the trigger foods.

4. when you are tired from lack of sleep - solution get to bed, drink lots of water and eat nutritious food in the meantime. Whatever it takes.

5. when you are procrastinating about important things and stress or worries start to grow

6. when you feel a little bored with your food routines. This is when food variety becomes really important so you should work on that now while its easier to have flexibility. When you weigh less its harder to get in the variety if you haven't already figured it out.

7. When you've been doing it for a long time and think you've beaten it. then you may start to grow careless. I don't think even IE encourages carelessness around food.