I did great last night. Because I fell asleep at 9pm and couldn't binge eat! LOL Today is day 3.

Day 3 for me, too! Let's keep going, imnotperfect. We can do this!

Happy Wednesday, Everyone. The 3 day weekend will soon be here!!

Okaaay... Totally binged yesterday. 1. I was lonely 2. Waiting on another audition result... And 3. I realized- I got to the point of being full to sickness, already felt guilty and teary-eyed... I pulled out some more food and it hit me, I was punishing myself. I literally had that thought cross my mind that if I was going to be gluttonous then I deserved to have to eat past the point of sickness and keep eating even when I was miserable about it. It was a horrible thought but stopped me dead in my tracks. I sat down and tried to journal about everything great I think about myself, but what a realization- I hope that knowing I am totally self sabatoging helps me next time. Anyone else ever feel that way...?

Sheesh- I also forgot to set my alarm last night and slept through my run this morning... I'm hoping that today turns around quick, but it's a new day and a new chance to be great! I'm
REALLY trying to stay positive here... But sleeping through my run has really put a damper on my morning. Today might be one of those days I just have to suck it up and deal with!

Jossfit- I'm so happy for you to get to go home on Monday! What a good feeling! It's also nice to see that you aren't beating yourself up over a slip- and you're absolutely right, a few days at a deficit+a good metabolism boost, that's what I'm shooting for too ;-) haha maybe I'll just start calling my binges re-feeds to feel better. (just kidding-but not really :P)

Jendiet- I agree with Jossfit, I totally understand the desire to purge, but a binge without a purge is a step in the right direction in my book! That's a tough cycle to break... Also good luck on your interview next week!

Alyssanicole- yeah, I'd DIE eating that few of calories!! Add in a few 100 and let us know how it goes!

Stimkovs- looks like a good plan! Failing to plan is planning to fail ;-)

I set my calorie intake at about 1500 a day. But on average I'm only eating between 950-1000 but I dont eat breakfast.. that's probably why my intake is so low. . Not something that I mean to do.. It just happens. If that amount fills you up on all that you need then I don't see a problem. If not then eating more wouldn't hurt.

danzingurl--it sounds like you realized what you were doing and stopped the binge. That's great.

JossFit--you have such an awesome attitude! Thinking positive is something we all need to do more i think.

I think another change i need to make is i need to stop categorizing foods as "forbidden" foods. Chips, cake, cookies, etc. were "forbidden foods" in my mind. So whenever i finished my healthy dinner and took a single bite from a cookie--i knew it was all over. Meaning a binge was inevitable. It's hard, though, to strike a balance between wanting to eat healthy foods, and thinking of certain foods as "forbidden." Food is not evil. It's only evil if you eat it in large quantities. I'm still not sure how to get rid of the "forbidden food" mindset without giving myself license to eat sugar at every meal...but i need to figure it out.

Well, alyssa, you are not eating enough, hunger, especially hypoglycemia sets off a binge for me.

imnotperfect, you know you are not eating enough, it will make it harder to lose weight, I've watched a couple episodes of "biggest loser" and seen it demonstrated. Those people kill themselves and then don't see results because they didn't eat enough to lose.

joss, i'm glad you are getting home on Monday. That must feel nice. Environment has a huge effect on us.

danzing, when I used to do that the pain would be so bad, I had to purge or I would be miserable for hours, I hope you feel better, maybe do an exercise video to make up for the lost run and take back control of your day.

Good job for day 3 Tyla and others.

My "teenager" has already moved me into binge moodiness. I don't understand why it has to be so hard. I almost binged on cereal this morning. I had 2 cups of cinnamon chex and 6 small coconut thins with tea. I realized I was in dangerous territory and left the kitchen. i wasn't hungry any more, and I didn't want to undo my progress. I am going to plan the rest of my day around those calories.

went and took a nap and woke up and made the baby some baby food and yogurt, I also had a yogurt cup myself. I opened another one to give to him, and realized "no, you are going to eat some too, so put that back." I grabbed the chobani and mixed his food into it, and gave it to him and DIDN'T eat the second cup of yogurt.

Actually I looked back over the last week or so and my average is 1200 or so.. If I ate breakfast I'm sure that would be around 1500. I cant imagine eating anymore then I do now.. Unless I'm binging then it's over.. But I haven't done that in the last 3 days.

1500 seems like a good start for your height and weight, perfect.

well, I exercised and instead of binging on junkfood, I made myself a smoothie with those new high fiber juices and some greek yogurt.

I feel pretty good and I don't feel like binging, I feel like I'm in control of my body again. woot!

hey chickies, this one's going to be a long one. buckle your seat belts!!

jendiet thanks for being so positive! 1000 calorie snack? a little feta cheese, 15-20 hazelnuts, i think there was a little greek yogurt and some other cheese involved. then some wasa cracker+butter combination. how terrible is it, that i'm having an issue with butter? seriously? BUTTER? hha - as for the interviews, one was really good- the other one was a waste of time, but i also got responses for two other REALLY good positions that i had applied for. fingers crossed and hope for the best. i also wish you the best of luck on your super awesome opportunity! hopefully it is something amazing and goes exactly as you plan!

Alyssa - so, I am replying to all of these in sequence, so i am sorry if exactly what i am about to say has already been said (Again bear with me)- your eating behaviours are exactly like mine, could've come out of my mouth. doesn't the "eternal hunger" suck? honestly, sometimes i amaze myself how not full i feel, even after a terrible binge. sometimes it kind of makes me want to just order a pizza, REALLY fill up and call it a day.

all of that aside, the weight watchers thing. i did weight watchers through about 60 lbs. on the older plan. presumably you're currently doing the new one? i am also assuming it's online? i got switched to the new plan once upon a time, and you're right- it's VERY few substantial calories. my thinking on this is that they assume people eat LOTS of fruit+veg (so like, im going to pull some numbers out of my hind end right now- but lets say that at 5'4- 140 you need to eat about 1400 cals to LOSE weight. if you're getting 900-950 SUBSTANTIAL calories aka protein, fats, etc the rest so 450-500 cals is made up in fruit+veg- that's prob about a lb of vegtables +2 to 3 peices of fruit). do you kind of mean what im saying? so in theory, if you were a big fruit veg eater, that would work- although im a HUGE fruit and vegetable person, and i was NOT losing on the new plan. and yes, from personal experience, eating too few calories will cause you to binge. many sad faces.

inglesita everything you say. everything. is so right on the ball, that you're amazing. THE HUNGER. It is the anxiety. It does go away, but isn't it absolutely horrible? I've never pegged it as the anxiety, but that's totally what it is!!!

JossFit sooo glad that you get to take a vacation! any big plans? you should be all happy and healthy and pamper yourself for being so awesome!

danzingurl77 im sorry you were frustrated and worried. i find that eating to console, or punish does "help" for the moment that that peice of food is in your mouth, but then you feel sick. a solution, or alternate frame of mind can be- you know that little tiny pang of hunger? the "OMG IM NOT OVERSTUFFED LIKE A TURKEY" feeling? when your tummy sinks inwards as opposed to outwards and you feel like a million bucks? everytime i go in for a binger, i think of that awesome million dollar feeling. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. but also worth a try.


now that you've gotten through some/all/none of the above. ha

day 3 update:

today, was better then anticipated. breakfast : good. interview: a-ok. snack? a-ok. took a nap, went to the other interview, did a little window shopping, came home- we had a little burst pipe situation so the eating kind of went a little bit south, but according to sparkpeople i still have a grand spankin' 5 calories left for the day. I AM DOING GOOD hahahahahaahahahah.

i am hoping the scale comes down a little. i want to be back at 168 .i felt so good at 168. !!! (i am currently hovering between 175 and 180, but 180 is ABSOLUTE red line). in the recent past i have had 175 set of binges.

tomorrows plan:

little breakfast (i have a super duper early appointment). come home and have real breakfast. get some work done. do some yoga. meet friend for dinner (mild danger- she likes to eat, but eats TINY portions. we usually split things). i might also be having a phone interview somewhere in the midst of all that.


food for thought:

i find that when i read "thinspo" blogs, (fitness related). or peoples personal weight loss experience blogs- they keep me motivated. i read something that stuck today: "if its 11:59 and i am feeling hungry, and lunch is at 12, then i did well. i ate just enough for breakfast, and just enough as a snack".

hopefully nobody fell asleep reading this novel lol!

goodluck tomorrow!

I finished the day at 2500 calories. I guess the morning was so bad (2 cups of cinnamon chex + coconut thins + cup of yogurt, and then I tried to make up for it, but after 45 min of zumba, and 15 min of yoga, that wasn't going to happen. I ate a full dinner of (lean)steak, lentils, and sauteed okra. then I had a snack of cantaloupe and then came the dessert. 6 coconut thins, 10 pcs of melted dark chocolate mini choc. chips with sliced strawberries and 1/4 c whipped cream (healthier version of strawberry shortcake).

So I ate maintenance today, no biggie. My calories have been so low the last couple of days, I'm not worried.

stim, other people's stories motivate me too.

Today was a amazing day...

1st: I got a call and I have a interview Friday! SO excited/nervous about that.. I put in so many applications and FINALLY hearing back from one is so amazing!
2nd: I finished the day with 1290 calories.
3rd: I didn't binge eat.. And not going to!!!
4th: I just finished a amazing workout on the xbox dance!!

I feel really amazing right now.. It's been so long since I felt this good!

I did read the beginning of the thread, and I don't intend to have a 300 calorie overage turn into a 15,000 calorie binge.

All are welcome here, right?

Danzinggurl and Surfergirl - yep, nothing I can do but look at the positive!

Jendiet - Ugh, you have no idea. Even just knowing I'll get to go home soon to my own bed, my own gym, and take a bit of time to relax has me out of my funk already!

Stimkovs - yep, I get a small vacation before I go back to my office. I'm going to my best friend's wedding in Chicago, and taking the time to pamper myself a bit; mani/pedi, hair appointment, massages for days, and lots of sleep! I also have my wedding dress fitting!


Everything is going pretty well today. I'm so happy to know I'll be headed home soon and out of this toxic environment!

Yep, all are welcome, it's just the verbage that people mix sometimes. I know it's just an internet forum, but there are those of us who get a bit irritated by someone choosing to eat an extra couple of bites and calling it a binge when a binge is something real, clinical, and that has a serious and debilitating hold on a lot of folks. Binging is discussed here as it really is; binge eating disorder.

Doesn't sound like all are welcome. Do I need to address every binge I've had? Or since I haven't had one in a while, should I not be here?

I don't want to be irritating, so please define who can post here.