My Confessions - 7 months ago I was put in the hospital for anunknown reason. My white bloodcells were through the roof and they couldnt figure out why. They took an MRI and when my primary care doctor reviewed the scans with me later, he said that there was fat in my liver. That was a smack in the face, but it didn't quite wake me up...yet! 7 months later I couldn't breath. My primarcy care doc sent me to an alergist. I had asthma. In essence, the fat is squeezing my lungs. SMACK! Now I'm awake! I'm too young to be feeling this old and this unhealthy. I want to make sure I'm around to see my sons finish college and get married. I want to make sure I'm here for another 40 years. At the rate I'm going, my odds were slim. But now that I've found IP and this forum, I really feel like I can do this.

I have a 16 month old who I am having a hard time keeping up with. She can run so fast haha

I am getting married, and do not want to be a fat bride.

I want to be pretty. My whole life I have heard the "compliment" ... "You have such a pretty face" which O always took to mean "you're wasting that face with a fat body" I want to feel beautiful for myself and my fiance.

I want to lose the weight for myself just to prove to myself that I can do it.

I've struggled in a marriage where I've been left to feel "less than" for the extra pounds I've carried. I remember him looking at old photos and commenting on how an ex bf.. was "lucky" to have me at a size 4 when he was more or less (stuck with me) at a size 8 ! I stayed with him after that painful comment and have let myself now get to a size 14. I'm in the process of divorcing him and would love to have the day when he looks at me and says.. "wow".

I used to be the skinny one in my family and it's seemed that my family; mom, dad, brothers, and sister, all love to give me a hard time for being fat like them. I don't get to see them often and would love to lose the weight and inspire them to do the same.

I also want my children to be proud of me... and ok ok ok..so it would be great to have some of my clothes fit again too!

I REALLY want my 3-4inch heels to be my 5 hour heels again, instead of my 1/2 hour heels. **looks at beautiful shoes wistfully***

Admittedly, most of my motivators are not for the right reasons and based on how others see me, BUT the strongest goal is just for myself:
1) just before separating, my husband said he didn't find me attractive any more (I've gained ~70 lbs since we first started going out).
2) if we can't rebuild things between us, I want to look "hot" when I start dating again (when the tricks from my 20s probably won't work in my 40s)
3) MOST OF ALL: because I no longer want to be limited physically by what my mind/heart wants to do, for instance: fly upside down from a zip line, cram myself into a jumpsuit so I can sky dive again once again, hike with friends without being mortified about slowing them down, join a roller derby team, ride any rollercoaster I want, and laugh really loud without worrying about calling attention to the fat girl

join a roller derby team - that is the best goal ever! we have so many good ones in the area too!! i have always wanted to do this, but i have a bad right knee. if you reach your goal and are able to join one of the B.A.D. Girls teams let me know and i will be sure to come see you!!!